Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Lucius held Narcissa. He could tell from her breathing that she was not asleep. He held her tightly, waiting for her to ask about Draco's death. He knew she would. It was a very hard thing for him to accept, but he knew that it had to be even harder for her. She had loved Draco much differently than he had. Where he had seen an heir, she had seen something much more. He had always thought that she coddled him too much, but in retrospect, it was probably the affectionate love that she showered on him that had allowed him to change allegiance.

He tried not to think that that same love might also have been responsible for Draco sacrificing himself to ensure the Dark Lord was defeated. Whatever happened, he had to ensure that Narcissa never came to believe that. If she descended into despair, she would never agree to have another child.

After Draco had been born, she had claimed that it was too traumatic, that the miscarriages she had suffered had been too much for her to bear, and that she did not want to ever go through that again. Since she had borne him a son, he had not made an issue of her desire to have no further children. Now, he would be forced to. The Malfoy family would not die with him. He had no brothers and no male cousins. He would not be the last Malfoy. Since he loved Narcissa, he wanted her to be the mother of his heir.

"How did it happen?" she asked softly, disturbing his thoughts.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

She rolled over to look into his eyes. "I have to know how my son died."

He had been preparing for this ever since he had watched Draco fall. "Once the battle started, the two of us worked our way to the edge of the fighting where we could divest ourselves of our masks. We then worked to protect the school."

His voice took on a distant quality as he tried to emotionally divorce himself from what he had participated in. "As the fighting raged on, we found ourselves getting pulled into the center of everything. I tried to pull Draco back to the periphery, but he seemed determined to protect Potter. The fighting grew fiercer and fiercer, and suddenly we found ourselves at the center of a scene of madness and mayhem. I looked over just in time to see him blocking the Killing Curse for Potter." At least that's what everyone thought. The truth was that they were close enough that no one else (he hoped) realized the truth--that he had been the true intended victim.

She clutched tightly at him and choked back a sob.

Not wanting to pause too long in his account, he continued, "I retaliated immediately, ensuring that our son's killer did not die an easy death." He closed his eyes tightly, fighting back the emotions threatening to overpower him. She needed him to be strong.

"Who was it?" she asked hoarsely.

"It doesn't matter. Justice has been served," he replied evasively.

"Lucius, who killed our son? I must know if it was one of our friends, even if he no longer lives."

He could hear the determination in her voice and knew that she would not let him keep this knowledge to himself. "Cissy, please."

"Lucius," she demanded.

"Very well," he said resignedly. "It was your sister."

There was a moment of silence before she replied, "Bella? Bella killed Draco? I can't believe it."

"Now do you know why I did not want to tell you? That woman was not the same sister you knew eighteen years ago. Prison changed her. Her devotion to the Dark Lord changed her. Even if Draco had not taken a spell meant for Potter, she would have killed him. Her dying words were that Draco and I were traitors and deserved to die. She even threatened that she would be the one to kill me."

"My sister said that?" Narcissa asked in disbelief.

He gently stroked her hair. "She did. As I said, the madness had taken over. She was not herself." He held her tightly as she started crying again. Eventually her crying subsided;

he glanced downward to see that she had finally fallen asleep, utterly exhausted.

************

The next few days passed in a blur. Narcissa was refusing to leave their rooms, and she was barely eating. He tried to spend as much time as he could with her, but he had to arrange Draco's funeral and meet with the Ministry. He shielded her from most of the details of what he did there. She did not need to know the particulars of his settlement. It would be costly both monetarily and socially, though, most of his social circle had been Death Eaters and were either dead or in Azkaban now.

The one concession he had been able to draw from them was that he and Draco would be publicly recognized for what they did in the end. He knew that some of the more perceptive members of the wizarding world would always see their redemption as purely selfish – which it had been – but publicly, they would be recognized as heroes of the war, and whatever new society arose would have to accept him.

He knocked softly on the door before opening it. "Darling, are you ready?" he asked softly.

"Is it time?" She dabbed at her cheeks with a handkerchief before setting the veiled hat on her head.

Standing behind her, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm afraid so."

As they walked toward the garden, they wrapped their arms around each other's waists. "Have... others come?" she asked nervously.

"A fair number. Our son will not be mourned alone."

He was not sure how he managed to maintain his composure through the brief ceremony, especially when he eulogized Draco. Even more surprising than the fact that Potter was in attendance had been that he had actually gotten up to speak about Draco and the nobility of his sacrifice.

As Potter spoke, Lucius gripped Narcissa's hand tightly and closed his eyes, hoping to transfer some of his strength to her. He knew that she had been dreading this day even more than he had.

When the funeral finally ended, he accepted the condolences of those who had attended. After he thanked the last person, he looked for Narcissa, only to find that she was gone.

Potter stepped up. "I saw her heading that way," he said pointing deeper into the garden.

"Thank you," he replied.

"Mr. Malfoy," Potter interrupted. "Thank you for what you and Draco did. I know it couldn't have been easy. And what Draco did... It really surprised me, and I wish I'd known that side of him."

"Thank you for your kind words," he replied sincerely before turning around to search for his wife. While Potter probably did not realize it, his eulogy would have far reaching effects for the Malfoy reputation. Perhaps it was best that Potter had not been sorted to Slytherin. Of course, all of this could have been avoided if he had been.

He found Narcissa sitting deep in the hedge garden on a small stone bench. "Darling, you should come inside."

Her gaze was lost in the distance. "I used to read to him here. Watch him play."

Kneeling beside her, as there was no room for him on the bench, he said, "I know, my love. This house is full of memories." Softly, he kissed her cheek. She collapsed to her knees in front of him and clutched his robes tightly as she was overcome with grief.

*************

Four days after Draco's funeral, the Ministry held an awards ceremony. Now that the dead were buried, they wanted to honor the living. Lucius had dressed for the occasion several hours in advance, knowing that it would take time to convince Narcissa she had to attend the ceremony too. She had insisted several times that she did not want to leave the manor. But he knew how powerful an image the grieving mother receiving her son's award would be. It was an opportunity that could not be missed.

He found her listening to the Wireless and sat beside her, picking up her hands in his. "Darling, it is very important that you come to the ceremony today."

"I barely made it through the funeral. I would absolutely fall to pieces..."

Placing his fingers on her lips, he stopped her protestations. "Our son will be honored. While he cannot be there, I am positive that he would want you there," he said softly. She was every bit as Slytherin as he was and surely realized the political importance of attending, but he wanted to stress the emotional side as well.

"I know..."

"Narcissa, darling, everyone knows what we have lost. Draco will not be the only fallen hero honored. We will not be the only ones fighting to contain our grief. Please? For Draco?" Leaning forward, he softly trailed kisses along her cheek to her neck.

"Love, stop," she said playfully.

He couldn't help grinning at the sound of her voice; it was his Narcissa. "Why?" he murmured into her flesh, but did not do as she asked.

She half-heartedly tried to push him away. "It's not right. We are in mourning."

"That does not mean I love you any less. Indeed, it makes me realize that I should never take anything for granted. Especially not you. Dearest, surely you realize how important this is."

She sighed. "I do."

Pulling away, he gently brushed her hair. He wondered if he looked as old as she did at just this moment. Probably. These last few days had taken a lot out of them both. "Just this one last appearance, then we can slip away to the hunting lodge and grieve in peace."

"Not France?"

He knew how much she loved to spend time at their chateau in the south of France, but part of his agreement with the Ministry was that he would not leave the country on personal business for three years. "Some other time, darling."

***********

As he stood at the Ministry ceremony, he forced himself not to look at Narcissa. He knew she would be doing the same. While the Minister recounted the events of the fateful night, waxed poetic on the bravery of those present, and began reading the citations for the awards, he let his mind drift to the future. Once again, he would have the chance to shape the world that emerged from the rubble. This time, there would be no trial for him. He had agreed to testify against some of the other Death Eaters, no one of any importance or that came from an important family, of course.

Along with that future, he would need a new heir. While Narcissa was no longer young, she was still in her childbearing years. Though, it would be some time before he could approach her about the idea. At least half a year. And he would have to be sure to broach the subject as though he were not trying to replace Draco. Strictly speaking, he wasn't. As a parent, he had made many errors, ones he did not intend to repeat.

The Malfoy name had been preserved, and it was only a matter of time before all this ugliness was forgotten and he was returned to prominence.

**********

A/N: Once again thanks to nota for helping clean up some of my wording. There are times that she has a much more elegant way with words than I do.

As you might have guessed, this story is going to go back and forth between Lucius and Narcissa's point of view. It's a little storytelling exercise on my part to keep the same character's perspective through a chapter.