Real
Chapter 1 of 1
chelseamacybff91I am not innocent, foolish, and shy.
ReviewedREAL
You believe I am innocent, foolish, and shy.
Inside I am not of these things.
I am not innocent; I long and ache for your kiss.
I am not foolish; I recognize your games and the coyness in your eyes.
I am not shy; I feel, if you gave me the chance, I would tell you all there is to know about me, even my deepest, darkest secrets.
You think you know me, but you have barely scratched the surface.
I am but a figment of your imagination.
The real young women you know is a temptress, intelligent, and expansive.
You have met no other like me.
I wish you could see me deep inside and my hesitance would disappear.
My eyes would hint brightness and my love would be clear.
You then would see the real being I am and have become.
I would ever be your intelligent, expansive, temptress.
But for now I shall stay innocent, foolish,and shy.
Story Actions
To follow, favorite, like, and more either log in or create an account.
Leave a Review
Log in to leave a review.
Latest 25 Reviews for Real
2 Reviews | 9.0/10 Average
shyness is such a hinderance at times
Response from chelseamacybff91 (Author of Real)
Thank you very much for reviewing.
Interesting work. I like the way that you've pointed out the difference between appearances and reality, particularly the line "You think you know me, but you have barely scratched the surface." However, I'm a little uneasy about the fifth line in the first stanza, as it seems a little too long; perhaps you might split it somewhere? Otherwise, though, this is very good.
On a personal note, this poem very much reminds me of the way that I and my closest male friend act towards each other. We even have a pair of somewhat contradictory running jokes that this poem reminded me of: "you don't know me at all" and "you know me way too well". Because of this, your poem hit me square in the gut. Congratulations; there are few poems besides the work of John Donne that affect me this way. Again, good work.
Response from chelseamacybff91 (Author of Real)
Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you related to it.