Full Black

Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

Dear Mrs. Tonks

Dear,

He tried for weeks to write a note. He felt a need to follow social convention, but he wasn't sure what it was, given what had happened. There was so much to discuss after that moment in her lounge. Remus had come down holding the baby so that Lyall could meet him. Andromeda had disappeared into the kitchen and then the Gray Man felt awkward and left soon after. Yet somehow there must be a way to express socially proper feelings about the birth of a grandchild and the death of a friend. Lyall had no idea what that was. Every morning he sat at the desk of his home office and took out a fresh piece of parchment, and every morning he went to work, unable to figure out how to even begin such a letter.

He made quick work of the Redcap whose capture was interrupted by the birth of Teddy Lupin and moved on to some Boggarts near Piccadilly. After that there were a ghoul in Yorkshire and some trolls in Glasgow. There was always some creature, and he was a bit suspicious when one of the trolls looked very familiar. A question came up in the back of his mind, but he turned the creatures over to the keepers as instructed.

A month went by in this way, and it was with great embarrassment that he found a letter on his desk when he arrived one morning, addressed to him in a handwriting that was becoming familiar.

Mr. Lupin,

A~

What events? The Gray Man lifted his head over his cubicle walls and noticed that the room was all but empty. There was some sort of weeping in the far corner, and a bit of scratching of quill on parchment over to the side, but none of the usual industry in the Magical Creatures Bureau. There was no one walking between the cubicles and no memos flying hither and yon. The walk in had been somewhat somber too, with few greetings along the way other than quiet whispers not intended for him.

He looked at the note again. Something horrible had happened, if it had kept her up all night and she was now at Hogwarts. The Gray Man looked longingly at his in box. Something about an Erumpet in the Lakes District. He didn't want to involve himself in Andromeda's trouble. He'd had too much trouble in his life already, in raising a werewolf. Surely Nymphadora and Remus were on hand to help her. He looked at the note again. She'd made no mention of them and at the pit of his stomach, he suddenly wondered what things she was seeing to. With dread in his heart he grabbed his hat and outside robe.

The dread only grew as he approached the elevators. Suddenly he realized just how quiet and hushed the Ministry was today. The few people who were there slipped around like ghosts, as though they hoped to transact their business and leave before they could be noticed.

He lost heart at the sight of the Hogwarts gates, that were twisted and pulled over their hinges as though by giants. There weren't many reasons why a pediatric Healer would be needed at a school with its own matron, and the reasons became clear as he walked past smoking tree stumps and craters in the lawn. At the door, a professor stopped him. "Are you here to pick up your children?"

"I'm supposed to meet Andromeda Tonks."

Her face, already sad, became kind. "Mr. Lupin, then? I remember Remus as a professor. The children loved him and he was quite a noble gentleman."

"Thank you."

"Andromeda is in the Great Hall, with-all of them."

His worst worries roused, Lyall went on and found Andromeda kneeling beside her daughter. She was wiping her face with a flannel and crying. The baby was held to Andromeda's chest with some sort of wrap. He cleared his throat and she looked up.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

It was then that he realized Nymphadora was dead and that on the other side of Andromeda was Remus.

At some time, the Gray Man realized he was sitting in a well-kept kitchen. Chocolate scones were baking in the oven, and the hot cocoa in his hands must have brought him back to himself. His hostess was also sitting at the table, holding a bottle in the baby's mouth.

"I can't think what came over me," he said by way of apology.

"It was shock. I should have found some other way to tell you," she said. The fragility of their last meeting had come upon her, except now she was completely worn out. The war had used her up.

He felt ashamed. He'd done nothing while so many others had shouldered all of the burdens. "I should have been here."

She shook her head.

"No, I should have. Since the wedding, I should have been here."

"What difference would it have made?"

Could he have convinced Ted Tonks not to leave the home where he was safe? Could he have protected Ted when the Snatchers found him? What about in the month and a half since the baby was born?

"I could have done more than I did."

"Perhaps," she agreed. "But perhaps if everyone had done more than they did, this war wouldn't have even happened. One tiny little shift on everyone's part, maybe." She shrugged, "How was any of us to know what the difference was or would have been?"

"I wouldn't have expected Nymphadora to go."

"She couldn't stand to be away from Remus if he was in danger, and she was always one who couldn't bear to miss the action. They tell me it was my own damned sister."

He'd kept himself away from pain for so long that was almost unbearable to see even in another. His own loss washed over him and nearly took him. He took another sip from his mug and let the chocolate flavor soothe him. "What will you do now?"

"Manage, somehow."

He sipped again. The pain still hurt, but it was the right thing, somehow. It was right to feel the pain, to grieve, to allow himself to accept that something was gone and he wanted it back. Out of the corner of his eye there was color: Andromeda's healer robes. She was leaning over the oven, pulling out her baking pans. The scones were ready.

He spoke before he could talk himself out of it. "Were you at Hogwarts all night?"

She shook her head. "Teddy and I were at St. Mungo's until it was over, and then we went to Hogwarts. They were sending the most serious cases to the hospital all night."

An urge leapt up in him, and he followed it before it had a chance to shrink away. "You'll be wanting to rest, then."

She shook her head. "There's no rest for me. I'm home for a bit of a snack, but then back to the hospital. I have several cases I need to keep an eye on."

"There must be some way I can help."

She smiled. "I don't wish to put you out, Mr. Lupin."

He felt a little annoyed. Was it with her for brushing him off, or with himself for making it seem as though he didn't care to be part of the family for so long? He'd work that part out later. "It's high time I let myself be put out. Teddy is my grandson, too."

She raised her chin and an eyebrow. "Have you any idea what to do?"

His annoyance still piqued, he answered, "I spend my days tracking magical creatures. If you will tell me the basic things I need to do with this one, I'm sure we'll manage, and you'll be better able to do your work at St. Mungo's."

She relented. "Well, that's true enough. While the baking cools, let me show you about his bottles and diapers, and I think he'll go into his cot for several hours. There's a day bed in the nursery, so you can rest too."

A/N: It's been pointed out to me that this was a terrible way for Andromeda to let Lyall know his son had been killed. I don't disagree.