Sepia Tone

Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

The Gray Man didn't see the Tonks family again. At least he didn't see them together again. There was an overhaul of the Ministry and several rule changes regarding certain types of dark creatures, which he incorporated into his ongoing cases. Someone walked through the office, clucked with a pleased sound over his four magical grandparents, and left him to continue his job. Others weren't so lucky, but they weren't in his field of vision.

One evening he arrived home and saw a gray mass on the steps to his flat. As he approached, he saw that it was Remus, a very dejected Remus, with tears on his face. This flustered him. He'd never been the one the boy came to in the past, and shouldn't a newlywed be happy?

Remus stood up. "I've ruined everything!"

Lyall led him into his lounge. "I'm sure that's not true."

"Dad, she's pregnant."

It took him a moment to figure out how this could be worth crying over and gave up. "Congratulations!"

"Have you forgotten something important?" Remus's voice became a stage whisper. "Such as that I'm a werewolf?"

"You've managed it quite well for thirty-odd years now."

"But what if? And what if I'm not properly contained and hurt my child? And how good a parent can I be with the existence I've had? And what kind of father knowingly allows his child to be a werewolf?" His face was full of anger and disgust.

Out of no where, a pain went straight through Lyall's entire being. Merlin, after avoiding emotions for so long, it hurt. There. Remus had finally said it, after thirty-odd years of them all living through it.

"I'm sorry," he wheezed, unable to find his whole breath. "I was young and thoughtless and didn't think about what I was saying or who might be listening. I relive that day over and over..."

Remus looked stricken. "Dad, I didn't mean you. You were a wonderful dad. You and mum did everything to help me live with it. To make it almost your life's work, helping me to learn how to be a good man and a good wizard, despite my lycanthropy..."

Lyall looked up hopefully. Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, and then somehow the idea escaped him.

"I can't live with myself. I can't expect Dora to live with me under the circumstances."

"But don't you see..." Lyall shrugged helplessly... "life has to be lived."

"Andromeda said something like that. But what do you know about it?"

The Gray Man considered himself for a moment, and then became lost in the thought. He'd lived his life, really lived it, until there was nothing left to live, hadn't he? Hadn't he? Had he become so lost in finding a way to give Remus a normal life that he hadn't actually lived it with him?

Through the white noise in his mind, he was vaguely aware that Remus was still muttering. "Maybe Sirius's house..."

There was a crack of apparition, but the Gray Man didn't really notice it. He sat on a chair, still holding his briefcase, still wearing his outer robe, pondering the emptiness of his life.

There was another crack of apparition. The Gray Man looked up and saw his son again and that it was full dark. How long had he been pondering his life and whether he'd lived it?

"Dad." There was a note of resignation in the boy's face, as though he were used to inattention. Was the Gray Man really this preoccupied?

"Yes? Yes, you're back."

"I saw Harry Potter. Harry wanted nothing to do with me. He called me a coward. A coward, Dad."

"With everything you've gone through and accomplished anyway? How dare he?"

"He's not wrong. But I can't face Tonks after what I've done."

"Is she angry?"

"She's-she was actually pretty happy until she saw my reaction. Dad, I can't face what this will do to her. Her family was tortured because they thought she knew where Harry was. Crucioed."

"Ted and... and Andromeda?"

"After a minute or two, she had some way of throwing it off. It was pretty scary, but I guess being raised a Black prepares a person for things. She got control of whoever was hexing her and demanded that they stop. They didn't know where to find Potter and there was no point to continuing the torture, because no one knows where Harry is."

A spark of interest ran through Lyall's mind. Except Remus, now. He opened his mouth, but the boy wasn't done talking.

"After the commission was set up, Ted left. Andromeda was furious and said that she could handle anyone who came after them, but he was adamant. He saw it as the best way to protect his family. She's like a force of nature, sort of like Tonks when she said she was determined to marry me, but look at what became of that. Ted couldn't stand for his wife to be tortured again, not because of him. Maybe Andromeda really is better off without Ted, and most likely Tonks is better off without me."

The Gray Man was nodding, following his own thoughts about what Remus was saying, now. This was what the world had become, when witches had to throw off Cruciatus hexes and men had to leave homes to protect their families.

"Dad."

There it was again, he needed to pay better attention. "I'm sorry. What is it?"

"Do you mind if I sleep on your sofa for a while? I'm not sure where to go."

"Of course. Of course. Or... there's a guest room in this flat. I'm not sure of the state of the sheets, but that's a minor fix..." With something concrete to do, Lyall stood and lead the way down the hall.

It was nice having the boy around. The Gray Man felt a little less gray with someone sharing the house, and it was nice to bump into another person when making coffee the next morning. Then he sort of lost track of Remus and a week after that realized he hadn't seen him much at all. He peeked into the guest room and saw that it was immaculately swept up and cleaned except for a note on the desk.

Dad,

Remus

Was there censure in that? Did Remus consider Lyall's life to be ghostly? A spark of annoyance burned in him as he fixed his dinner that night, and went over his cases and went to bed. It hummed through him the next morning, but one of the cases was particularly baffling and he forgot all about it until he got home. He shrugged and fixed his dinner and read through the folders he'd brought home before going to bed.

A few days later, the Gray Man reached his front door and was attacked from behind. Perhaps it was the side. He was smothered in a robe and a feminine voice said, "Thanks, Dad. Whatever you said mattered." When he was finally released and turned, he was face to face with a tall Amazon of a woman who bore a resemblance to his daughter-in-law. She winked, and suddenly her nose looked a bit like an Erumpet horn. Remus stood in the dim hallway behind her, looking pleased but awkward. Lyall hardly knew what to say. Remus reached for his wife's hand and they slipped away while the Gray Man fumbled with words and keys. "You're welcome. Do you wish for some tea?" He turned and saw that he was in an empty hallway.