Snapely Drabbles

Author's Note:

"Passwords" contains lines lifted from Richard II (Shakespeare) and I, Claudius (Robert Graves.)

There is almost nothing original in "Here's Looking at You, Cat". I stole it all from JKR and Warner Brothers.

The "R" rating is for a single anatomical word. I don't know why it should be an "R"-rated word, but there you have it.

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Passwords

(Challenge #369: “Beholder Redux”)

It began with a raised eyebrow, as Severus looked at the password that appeared magically on the self-destructing parchment.

"Slippery when wet," he intoned, and the staff room door swung open.

When it was his turn to set the password, he hesitated only a moment.

Minerva blinked once before giving it: "Have you seen my pussycat?"

They moved through "Touch me, Titus," "Queen Anne's clitoris," and "The early village cock/Hath twice done salutation to the morn," before anyone caught them at the game.

"A hard man is good to find," Minerva read, before she heard Filius say, "Indeed," behind her.

~Fin~

Here’s Looking at You, Cat

(Challenge: #370 – “At the Movies”)

"We both know you belong with Dumbledore. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that Portkey leaves and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Minerva, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three secondary school teachers don't amount to a phial of bubotuber pus in this crazy world.

We'll always have Hogsmeade."

~FIN~

Truth Or Dare

(Challenge #373 “Snape’s Kiss”)

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Ginny smiled her wicked smile. “You have to kiss . . . the next male that walks into the room.”

What happened next was even better than Lavender could have hoped for in her most malign fantasies.

The portrait-hole opened to reveal a pair of black eyes glaring from a sallow face connected to the lanky figure of Professor Snape.

The sudden silence from the gaggle of giggling Gryffindors told Severus that something was up. He was about to start his inquisition when Granger walked up, stood on her tiptoes, and planted a smacking kiss on his sallow cheek.

/***/

"Miss Granger."

The girls turned from the astonishing sight of an astonished Professor Snape and a blushing Hermione to find their Head of House surveying the scene with annoyance and—could it be?—a touch of amusement.

“Sorry, Professors,” stammered Hermione. “It was just a silly game. I meant no disrespect.”

“A game?”

“Yes, Professor. Truth or Dare; it’s—“ Ginny started.

“I’m familiar with it,” said Professor McGonagall. “Perhaps instead of playing foolish games inside, you girls should be outdoors on this lovely day.”

As the girls filed out, Professor McGonagall added, “Fifty points from Gryffindor for inappropriate behaviour.”

/***/

When the girls were gone, Professor McGonagall harrumphed, “'No disrespect', indeed.”

Severus seemed to have recovered his powers of speech, because he said, “That was most surprising.”

“Yes, Severus,” replied Minerva. “I would never have imagined Miss Granger would indulge in such shameful antics.”

“What was surprising, my dear Minerva, was the fact that you took points from your own beloved House.”

“Of course. It was an insult to Gryffindor. The girl obviously has no idea how to kiss a man properly,” said Minerva.

She strode up, pulled Severus to her, and kissed him on the mouth, thoroughly and long.

~Fin~

Judas Kiss

(Challenge #373: “Snape’s Kiss”)

“Severus Snape, come forward!” commanded the Dark Lord.

Severus stepped from the semi-circle of black-robed figures. He was wearing his own threadbare robes and felt exposed in a way he hadn’t since the day Potter had removed his pants in front of everyone at the Black Lake.

Nerves. I’ll feel better when I get my robes.

He knelt, as Lucius had instructed him, and extended his left arm.

“Do you swear loyalty to me until death?”

“I do, my Lord.”

He kissed the ring.

As his arm began to burn, he wondered if it was too late to turn back.

/***/

“Severussss,” hissed the creature. “You are late.”

“Forgive me, Lord, I thought it might benefit our cause were I to appear to remain loyal to that Muggle-loving fool. Thus, I could not join you immediately, as I would have wished.”

The Dark Lord extended a skeletal hand. Snape stood there.

“Well, Severus?” said the creature impatiently. “Do what you have to do, and be quick about it.”

Merlin, don’t make me do this.

As he kissed the ring for the second time in his life, Severus felt an unexpected power coursing through him.

As you wish, Albus. I choose this.

~FIN~