Thanks a lot for all those reviews from May. I don't know why I am only finding them now, but I appreciate them all the same! :-)

Thanks a lot for all those reviews from May. I don't know why I am only finding them now, but I appreciate them all the same! :-)

I am not sure that I see this as an academic exercise myself... or no more than writing a tenth or hundreth fanfiction on any very popular theme would have been...But I do think I have some elements of answer... Version 3 was mostly about switching to Dumbledore's point of view, hence, I suppose, the less dramatic reveal: because from Dumbledore's point of view, it is not a reveal. That said, after reading your review, I have been thinking about it in the underground today, and probably I have missed some of the tension that could have been there for Dumbledore. I think I have generally written Minerva better than I have written Albus in this story. Probably from the beginning, I have taken Minerva's point of vue on this, maybe because her character appeals to me (but then, so does Dumbledore), and most certainly because I have been under the influence of the source "cannon": this scene has originally been evoked by JKR as part of Minerva's life, not Albus'. And when I chosed to switch points of vues, probably I have not gone the whole way to really put it in perspective from Albus' side, build backstory-explicitely in the narration, as well as in the background, enriching my picture of him.As for the second version, I tried to distance the characters from each other, in order to make it fit better with the only scene we have from a rather (not that) early (really) Minerva and Albus, which would be on November, 1st, 1981. They are somewhat distant there: both obviously good friends, and very formal-more so than later in the books... I find it difficult to reconcile the characters I want to write with this data from the (beloved) first chapter of the first book. I should probably brush it off as a narrative effect because in Chapt 1 of Book 1, characters are new to the reader (and writer) and it just *makes* them more formal. I should. But if I am going to write fanfiction, then it puts me in a position where I somehow have to take canon as a source of facts and not a fabric of literary constructs open to my analysis... So either I write a fanfic universe in which 1981 is a somewhat difficult/tensed/ moment in their long relation, or they have not seen each other for a long time on that day (doubtful but possible), or... or they are not that casual with each other until later in the 80s. Which is what I tried in Version 2.Yes, I am probably too cannon-obsessed for my own good.The fourth version is certainly less canonical in spirit but more lively than 2 and 3 have been. I will look forward to reading what you think about it.Thanks for reviewing! :-)

I loved reading your response, graou!  Please don't think I am being critical when I write about writing as an 'academic exercise' - I find the idea of exploring different ways of 'playing' a scene absolutely fascinating.  I understand much better now why I didn't warm as easily to version 2, given what you have told me about your approach towards the characters.  I am looking forward to version 4 for sure and as a fan of AU work I am particularly excited by the prospect.  Thank you for your long and thoughtful reply to my review! Pxx

I am not sure that I see this as an academic exercise myself... or no more than writing a tenth or hundreth fanfiction on any very popular theme would have been...But I do think I have some elements of answer... Version 3 was mostly about switching to Dumbledore's point of view, hence, I suppose, the less dramatic reveal: because from Dumbledore's point of view, it is not a reveal. That said, after reading your review, I have been thinking about it in the underground today, and probably I have missed some of the tension that could have been there for Dumbledore. I think I have generally written Minerva better than I have written Albus in this story. Probably from the beginning, I have taken Minerva's point of vue on this, maybe because her character appeals to me (but then, so does Dumbledore), and most certainly because I have been under the influence of the source "cannon": this scene has originally been evoked by JKR as part of Minerva's life, not Albus'. And when I chosed to switch points of vues, probably I have not gone the whole way to really put it in perspective from Albus' side, build backstory-explicitely in the narration, as well as in the background, enriching my picture of him.As for the second version, I tried to distance the characters from each other, in order to make it fit better with the only scene we have from a rather (not that) early (really) Minerva and Albus, which would be on November, 1st, 1981. They are somewhat distant there: both obviously good friends, and very formal-more so than later in the books... I find it difficult to reconcile the characters I want to write with this data from the (beloved) first chapter of the first book. I should probably brush it off as a narrative effect because in Chapt 1 of Book 1, characters are new to the reader (and writer) and it just *makes* them more formal. I should. But if I am going to write fanfiction, then it puts me in a position where I somehow have to take canon as a source of facts and not a fabric of literary constructs open to my analysis... So either I write a fanfic universe in which 1981 is a somewhat difficult/tensed/ moment in their long relation, or they have not seen each other for a long time on that day (doubtful but possible), or... or they are not that casual with each other until later in the 80s. Which is what I tried in Version 2.Yes, I am probably too cannon-obsessed for my own good.The fourth version is certainly less canonical in spirit but more lively than 2 and 3 have been. I will look forward to reading what you think about it.Thanks for reviewing! :-)

I loved reading your response, graou!  Please don't think I am being critical when I write about writing as an 'academic exercise' - I find the idea of exploring different ways of 'playing' a scene absolutely fascinating.  I understand much better now why I didn't warm as easily to version 2, given what you have told me about your approach towards the characters.  I am looking forward to version 4 for sure and as a fan of AU work I am particularly excited by the prospect.  Thank you for your long and thoughtful reply to my review! Pxx

Thanks a lot for the long review. It definitely fuels motivation--especially coming from you, as I have been reading your stories for quite some time. :-)Anyway, chapter 2 is in the queue, and chapters 3&4 are written and waiting patiently for their turn.

I have been thinking about something you wrote here: it is troubling, indeed, that several main characters would allow a dramatic first love experience to rule the remainder of their sentimental life. Namely, if I am not mistaken, those would be Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore. Other characters seem to do pretty well with successive teenage love stories--think Ginny! (Maybe JKR has a somewhat negative view of teachers' emotional resilience?) I do believe that Severus Snape is depicted as emotionally disturbed, has had part of his choices made permanent by those with whom he associated, and that's it. But as for Dumbledore and McGonagall, I would venture the hypothesis that JKR used that kind of backstory as a hack, or a shortcut: it is simply by far easier to evoke one long past event and dispell all possibility of romance from that point on, especially with such a large and diverse fandom scruting any opening, wondering, imagining, and investing each possible free space to clutter it with romantic hypotheses. In my opinion, at some point, JKR envisioned making Dumbledore and McGonagall a couple, and then changed her mind. The first books just point so much in that direction--and what of the night when Dumbledore and McGonagall find a petrified Colin Creevey in book two? Dumbledore says that McGonagall found him. Minerva says it's lucky Dumbledore wanted a hot chocolate. Are we to understand that in the middle of the night, Dumbledore, wanting a hot chocolate, knocked at McGonagall's door for a collegial walk to the kitchen in their night attire, and, strolling through the corridors, they stumbled upon Colin? Seriously? I am convinced that JKR originally envisioned and depicted the two as a couple. And then, for whatever reason, maybe the age difference, or the fact that Minerva has been Dumbledore's student, (or maybe what the fandom could make of that, and is sometimes making of that anyway), she backed out. And the "original love trauma forbidding anything else" was an easy way out.That's an hypothesis, anyway.

Thanks a lot for the long review. It definitely fuels motivation--especially coming from you, as I have been reading your stories for quite some time. :-)Anyway, chapter 2 is in the queue, and chapters 3&4 are written and waiting patiently for their turn.

I have been thinking about something you wrote here: it is troubling, indeed, that several main characters would allow a dramatic first love experience to rule the remainder of their sentimental life. Namely, if I am not mistaken, those would be Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore. Other characters seem to do pretty well with successive teenage love stories--think Ginny! (Maybe JKR has a somewhat negative view of teachers' emotional resilience?) I do believe that Severus Snape is depicted as emotionally disturbed, has had part of his choices made permanent by those with whom he associated, and that's it. But as for Dumbledore and McGonagall, I would venture the hypothesis that JKR used that kind of backstory as a hack, or a shortcut: it is simply by far easier to evoke one long past event and dispell all possibility of romance from that point on, especially with such a large and diverse fandom scruting any opening, wondering, imagining, and investing each possible free space to clutter it with romantic hypotheses. In my opinion, at some point, JKR envisioned making Dumbledore and McGonagall a couple, and then changed her mind. The first books just point so much in that direction--and what of the night when Dumbledore and McGonagall find a petrified Colin Creevey in book two? Dumbledore says that McGonagall found him. Minerva says it's lucky Dumbledore wanted a hot chocolate. Are we to understand that in the middle of the night, Dumbledore, wanting a hot chocolate, knocked at McGonagall's door for a collegial walk to the kitchen in their night attire, and, strolling through the corridors, they stumbled upon Colin? Seriously? I am convinced that JKR originally envisioned and depicted the two as a couple. And then, for whatever reason, maybe the age difference, or the fact that Minerva has been Dumbledore's student, (or maybe what the fandom could make of that, and is sometimes making of that anyway), she backed out. And the "original love trauma forbidding anything else" was an easy way out.That's an hypothesis, anyway.

Thanks for the review!Chapter 2 is in the queue--should come out in a few weeks time, depending on the workload of TPP admins, I guess. :-)

I'll look forward to it!

Thanks for the review!Chapter 2 is in the queue--should come out in a few weeks time, depending on the workload of TPP admins, I guess. :-)

I'll look forward to it!