4
Chapter 4 of 20
PyttanHer forced, unhappy and loveless marriage had ended when Draco Malfoy was lost at sea. Now he's back.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters within the story, and I don't earn any money. JK Rowling owns them, and I hope she earns loads.
The same is true for Lisa Kleypas. The prompt I chose at the HP Harlequin Fest is taken from the back of her book 'Stranger in My Arms', and this story is based on that text.
A/N: This story was first published at the HP Harlequin Fest at LJ. This is a longer, edited version of that story. I also want to thank my beta, Amylouise. Thank you so much for helping me with the story, even after the Fest was over!
And a warning: In this chapter there will be references regarding abuse, non-consensual sex and rape. It's nothing graphic, but I think you should know.
4
She screamed when she couldn't move her feet. The Draco-Inferius was coming closer, and its clothes and hair were dripping water. The layer of flesh that could be glimpsed through the cracked, pallid skin was tinged green.
"I'll fuck you from behind," it said to her, "so I don't have to look at your Mudblood face." They were in a bed now, with her underneath him. She could smell him; the same smell she had encountered in Bathilda Bagshot's house. "I'll fuck you till you bleed, just like the old days. I enjoyed that." It shrieked with laughter and bent its head to kiss her.
Hermione screamed and fought to get free. She managed to get away from its hold and rolled off the bed.
She landed on her hands and knees. Pain shot through her kneecaps, and she screamed again, but she managed to scramble away from the bed anyway. But no one came after her. Curled in a corner of the room, she looked at the bed. Empty. No one was in it; not Draco, nor the Draco-Inferius.
First came a wave of cold blooming in her chest. The painful breathing and the tears followed, as she realised it was a dream and why she'd dreamt: She was still at Malfoy Manor and not at home. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees.
The knock on the door was perfunctory, and it opened just a second after the knock.
Draco stepped into the room and closed the door behind him and walked toward her where she sat. She couldn't read him as she stared up at him, but something was ... what? Her mind fumbled and tried to find the right word.
Askew.
That was it. Something about the man in front of her was askew.
A face a bit too pretty, a body a tad too fit and hair as white as moonlight. A perfect fantasy-Draco as the mind of an adolescent pure-blood witch would have conjured him.
She curled her hands to fists and got to her feet. You always left a fight hurting afterwards. So would he, even if he'd win in the end.
"I heard you scream," he said, and as if she didn't already know, he added, "I'm in the next room." He took a few careful steps toward her, and when he started to lift his arms, as if he was going to embrace her, she lifted her own arms as guards, her hands fisted. What she needed was her wand, but she didn't even know where it was.
She would go for his eyes if he touched her.
His arms fell, and he stepped back, his eyes narrowing.
"Well, you heard wrong, so you can leave now," Hermione said.
Draco gave her a wry half-smile. Instead of leaving, he walked over to the bed, gazing at the tangled bed sheets and the duvet that had been dragged to the floor with her. Without looking at her, he started to stretch and smooth down the sheets, tucking them under the mattress. He continued his work by fluffing the pillows, placing them in a neat row at the headboard, and finally, he shook out the duvet and spread it over the bed.
He made her bed? And without summoning a house-elf and without using magic.
Draco turned to her and tilted his head, his movements careful as he moved toward the door. "I can arrange for some Dreamless Sleep to be brought up for you, if you wish," he said.
"No, thank you. You may leave."
She saw him clench his teeth, but then his features relaxed. He gave her a short formal bow and left the room.
She looked at his back as he left. Wasn't he just an inch or so too tall?
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Latest 25 Reviews for Deception
175 Reviews | 6.25/10 Average
What an incredible adaptation! I love it. Im a huge Kleypas fan so it was an even greater joy to read. I love your Hermione. She was traumatized and damaged, but still recognizable. It was a verybelievable characterization. Your Severus was great, too.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! It's my very first story featuring HGSS, and I was quite nervous writing it. I'm a Kleypas fan too, btw ;).
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! It's my very first story featuring HGSS, and I was quite nervous writing it. I'm a Kleypas fan too, btw ;).
Haha! I love the ending--thank you so much for sharing, it was a wonderful read! :D
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you for the kind words, and I'm so happy that you liked it.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you for the kind words, and I'm so happy that you liked it.
Yay. Sounds like everyone gets their just desserts. With extra severus on Hermione's serving :-)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Heh! Indeed and who wouldn't want som extra Severus? Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Heh! Indeed and who wouldn't want som extra Severus? Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
*Hugs you*
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
*Hugs you*
Well, that was an uexpected development. What with Severus being "Draco'. How is it that Severus was a metamorphagus? Why did you give him that particular talent? I can see that as being really handy for spying though.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
The truth is that when I wrote this story, my first idea had nothing to do with Severus at all. He strong armed his way into this story and just took over. As far as the metamorphmagus thing, well, my idea really is that if you meddle with Dark Arts, home made hexes and Potions and then get bitten by a large venomous (?) snake, you are bound to be affected by it in some very interesting ways. I had to cut that part out of the story though, since I didn't manage to fit it into the story very well. It ruined the pacing, and it felt very constructed and strange. Instead I let Hermione make the metamorphmagus connection, and then I left it in the hands and minds of the readers. I did concider a Polyjuice take on the situation, but that didn't flow very well either and left me with some major problems to explain away. And it would have been very handy talent for a spy wouldn't it? ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
The truth is that when I wrote this story, my first idea had nothing to do with Severus at all. He strong armed his way into this story and just took over. As far as the metamorphmagus thing, well, my idea really is that if you meddle with Dark Arts, home made hexes and Potions and then get bitten by a large venomous (?) snake, you are bound to be affected by it in some very interesting ways. I had to cut that part out of the story though, since I didn't manage to fit it into the story very well. It ruined the pacing, and it felt very constructed and strange. Instead I let Hermione make the metamorphmagus connection, and then I left it in the hands and minds of the readers. I did concider a Polyjuice take on the situation, but that didn't flow very well either and left me with some major problems to explain away. And it would have been very handy talent for a spy wouldn't it? ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
love severus's personality in the story!! need another story....
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! Another story is on it's way sometime after new year, and I hope you will give it a chance.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! Another story is on it's way sometime after new year, and I hope you will give it a chance.
I hate when you want to be mad at someone, then something happens and you never get to vent your feelings. When he's better, she'll have to take it out on him in bed, lol. I haven't tried to take over your story for awhile, huh? I would love it if Draco was off on his own agenda trying to pose as Snape ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yeah. It is so very frustrating. And it's typical that Severus is the one to do just that exact thing. And as far as taking over the story ... nooo. Severus is still the man with the agenda. ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yeah. It is so very frustrating. And it's typical that Severus is the one to do just that exact thing. And as far as taking over the story ... nooo. Severus is still the man with the agenda. ;)
Uh, oh...Are the transformations causing the migraines?
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Nah. He's a tense man. He gets them on occation ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Nah. He's a tense man. He gets them on occation ;)
Okey... Don't panic... breath... inside... outside... where is the rest of this chapter??????Please!!! where is it????? XD
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
*snickers* I thought a cliffhanger would be just the thing at this point ... ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
*snickers* I thought a cliffhanger would be just the thing at this point ... ;)
She'll have to save the bollocking for later... ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yes, indeed :D
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yes, indeed :D
i have to agree with moiramountain :) dear author you do leave us hanging with suspense! haha
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
i'm actually very happy to hear that. :D Thank you!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
i'm actually very happy to hear that. :D Thank you!
And..... ????? Gods, woman, it's 1:45 AM here in Colorado - I'm already up much too late working on IHN (yes, really, I am, I am....) and you feed me this tiny morsel of intrigue ???? Oh, but can't we all empathize with Hermione, here - furious and frantic, all at the same time - and longing for another of those sob inducing sessions, no doubt. /g/
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I want you all to keep reading! I needed to do somehing that would make you keep at it ;). And yes: you get so angry when a loved one behaves recklessly and here Hermione really has more reason than most to be angry. I would be livid from the worry alone and adding his highhandedness ... I would say he got off easy with the migrain. And I think the both need to sob a bit ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I want you all to keep reading! I needed to do somehing that would make you keep at it ;). And yes: you get so angry when a loved one behaves recklessly and here Hermione really has more reason than most to be angry. I would be livid from the worry alone and adding his highhandedness ... I would say he got off easy with the migrain. And I think the both need to sob a bit ;)
Ruh roh...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Indeed. Is it Draco? Is it someone else? Will Severus find out? Is it really Severus? Check in for the next part of Deception. ;)
Response from cmwinters (Reviewer)
Same bat time, same bat channel!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Indeed. Is it Draco? Is it someone else? Will Severus find out? Is it really Severus? Check in for the next part of Deception. ;)
Response from cmwinters (Reviewer)
Same bat time, same bat channel!
Ahhh! I love how possessive you have written Snape, very "in character". Like Hermione, I (as a reader) feel simultaneously intrigued and frightened by him -- and I do love it when Snape is portrayed this way. I love the ambiguity of his nature, and the extremes his personality tends to fluctuate between.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I love ambigous Snape too. The way his moral compass sometimes seem to point in the right direction for all the wrong reasons. And there is no doubt in my mind that he is prepared to do plenty to get his way. I'm very happy you told me this since it's exactly how I wanted to depict him. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Response from KingPig (Reviewer)
"The way his moral compass sometimes seem to point in the right direction for all the wrong reasons." This is the best description of him and his nature that I've ever come across!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I love ambigous Snape too. The way his moral compass sometimes seem to point in the right direction for all the wrong reasons. And there is no doubt in my mind that he is prepared to do plenty to get his way. I'm very happy you told me this since it's exactly how I wanted to depict him. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Response from KingPig (Reviewer)
"The way his moral compass sometimes seem to point in the right direction for all the wrong reasons." This is the best description of him and his nature that I've ever come across!
Problem solved - the real Draco is confronted with his own doppleganger and drops dead from shock !! Nice and neat...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Nice and neat, that is true. But Severus wouldfind that so very unsatisfactory...
Response from moiramountain (Reviewer)
Yeah, if I were the real Draco, I'd be heading straight for that deep dark ocean that supposedly took me the first time - jump in, take in a lungful of water, and get it over with - far better than what Severus has in mind for me, no doubt.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Nice and neat, that is true. But Severus wouldfind that so very unsatisfactory...
Response from moiramountain (Reviewer)
Yeah, if I were the real Draco, I'd be heading straight for that deep dark ocean that supposedly took me the first time - jump in, take in a lungful of water, and get it over with - far better than what Severus has in mind for me, no doubt.
What a crazy position for Hermione to be in. She wants Draco gone for good, but is unwilling to use the one means at her disposal. And for Severus, she is important, so does he ignore her and kill Draco to ensure her safety (and his position), or does he respect her wishes, but take the chance that Draco show up to claim his old life and his wife? And just what is Draco doing anyway? If it really is Draco ...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Horrible position, I agree. And you have just put me in a position where I can't answer even one of your questions without giving the plot away. ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Horrible position, I agree. And you have just put me in a position where I can't answer even one of your questions without giving the plot away. ;)
ooooohhh..... nice!! :) hahaha love the possessive!Snape :)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you! And I'm very fond of possessive Snape too. anot sure I would want to be the object of his desire though ...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you! And I'm very fond of possessive Snape too. anot sure I would want to be the object of his desire though ...
what?? could be what reader76 said?? please!! don't let it be Draco!! He must to be dead!! poor Hermione...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yes. Dreadful thing if he has returned, isn't it? But you don't know yet. And I ain't telln'. ;)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Yes. Dreadful thing if he has returned, isn't it? But you don't know yet. And I ain't telln'. ;)
Oh, my. That sounds more like a Draco reaction to me.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Now, if I were to acomment on that, I would give to much away ;).
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Now, if I were to acomment on that, I would give to much away ;).
Oh God! I like how make it Snape.... you can feel secure and happy with him, no matter that he is thinking how to kill to the worst of his enemies... hahaha... I love him!!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! I was trying to convay that, so I'm glad you think so.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you so much! I was trying to convay that, so I'm glad you think so.
Very well handled. *applauds* Love the dichotomy of both iof their feelings/needs. :)
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I really wanted that to come through in the chapter, so I'm very happy to hear this. And thank you!
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I really wanted that to come through in the chapter, so I'm very happy to hear this. And thank you!
I am intrigued by how eagerly he wants her. Is there a back story? Did he have an interest in her before all of this went down? Or is he just a man and by default, cannot resist being with her? I was torn in my feelings about him. On the one hand, he seems really seems forceful with her, but then he was also careful and considerate. I just don't know what to think. I do want to know more.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Severus decided to return in the guise of Draco after Plucky ran into him. He assumed Draco and Hermione were happy together, and since he really didn't mind having a nubile young wife he decided to try this little ruse (opportunist, yes indeed). Then, as it turned out, things got complicated, and he found himself attracted to the new Hermione, damaged as she is. And yes. He is both very domineering but still considerate, in his own way and when he choses to be. That is very much the way I see him ... And there is more. Five chapters to be exact and two of them are in queue. I hope you'll like them. Thank you! I love concrit reviews.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Severus decided to return in the guise of Draco after Plucky ran into him. He assumed Draco and Hermione were happy together, and since he really didn't mind having a nubile young wife he decided to try this little ruse (opportunist, yes indeed). Then, as it turned out, things got complicated, and he found himself attracted to the new Hermione, damaged as she is. And yes. He is both very domineering but still considerate, in his own way and when he choses to be. That is very much the way I see him ... And there is more. Five chapters to be exact and two of them are in queue. I hope you'll like them. Thank you! I love concrit reviews.
I want to say that was sweet... but it is not quite the right word. It was sweet for him to let her be in control to show he wouldn't hurt her, but I fear his possessiveness may be as strong as Draco's cruelty.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I would say that your fears are very well founded. His sweetness is, after all, rooted in the desire to have her, to bind her to him, rather than anything else. And in a way he is very sweet, but Hermione is a very brave woman, taking him on. Thank you for reviewing. I might even dare to try writing erotica again.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
I would say that your fears are very well founded. His sweetness is, after all, rooted in the desire to have her, to bind her to him, rather than anything else. And in a way he is very sweet, but Hermione is a very brave woman, taking him on. Thank you for reviewing. I might even dare to try writing erotica again.
I love how strikingly vulnerable you have presented Hermione, all while allowing glimpses of her inner strength ring through during the more intense moments. I also really enjoy the slight struggle Snape seems to have between showing empathy for Hermione's situation and his innate need to dominate.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you for telling me! That is exactly what I was trying to show the reader. After all Hermione has been through, she is still a very brave, even bold person. And Severus--dominant and devious as he is--is still working so hard to make this something that can bring them together, maybe for the first time making the right choises. I felt very uncertain about my ability to convey what I wanted as I wrote this chapter. I tend to avoid writing erotica, and I wanted to bring the characters and the story forward too, so your review makes me very happy.
Response from KingPig (Reviewer)
Please don't avoid writing erotica -- you do it so well!! You can manage what few writers can -- the ability to write a steamy scene that is not only very "hawt," but also actually propels the story forward, and portrays the delicate balance within your characters between a driving, instinctual need and the fragile fear of a deeper intimacy -- and you do it with a natural ease. You are a very talented writer, and if nothing else, this chapter proves that you can easily and deftly handle the double-edged sword that is Lemony Goodness.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
You made me tear up now. Thank you! I was so nervous about this, and I never expected it to be recieved so well. It means a lot to me. So much I might even dare to write erotica again ...
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Thank you for telling me! That is exactly what I was trying to show the reader. After all Hermione has been through, she is still a very brave, even bold person. And Severus--dominant and devious as he is--is still working so hard to make this something that can bring them together, maybe for the first time making the right choises. I felt very uncertain about my ability to convey what I wanted as I wrote this chapter. I tend to avoid writing erotica, and I wanted to bring the characters and the story forward too, so your review makes me very happy.
Response from KingPig (Reviewer)
Please don't avoid writing erotica -- you do it so well!! You can manage what few writers can -- the ability to write a steamy scene that is not only very "hawt," but also actually propels the story forward, and portrays the delicate balance within your characters between a driving, instinctual need and the fragile fear of a deeper intimacy -- and you do it with a natural ease. You are a very talented writer, and if nothing else, this chapter proves that you can easily and deftly handle the double-edged sword that is Lemony Goodness.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
You made me tear up now. Thank you! I was so nervous about this, and I never expected it to be recieved so well. It means a lot to me. So much I might even dare to write erotica again ...
It's heartbreaking finding out what Draco did to her. I wonder how Severus can be so sure he's dead? A million fiery deaths would still be too good for him.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Draco turned out worse than I thought when I started writing the story. And yes, I thing Draco snogging a Dementor would be a good punishment for him in this story ... Draco has been gone for a long time, so Severus is really only taking a calculated risk, which is what he tends to do I think. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story. It's nice to have you along for the ride.
Response from Pyttan (Author of Deception)
Draco turned out worse than I thought when I started writing the story. And yes, I thing Draco snogging a Dementor would be a good punishment for him in this story ... Draco has been gone for a long time, so Severus is really only taking a calculated risk, which is what he tends to do I think. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story. It's nice to have you along for the ride.