A Choking Gall

Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

Andromeda dressed and left the cottage while Ted was napping. She watched him as she dressed, wishing she could stay in the bed with him. She knew if she didn't leave soon, it would destroy her when she finally did. Following some inner voice, she kissed his cheek one last time before she left. Walking back to Hogwarts was torture, but the nausea was gone, and somehow she knew her mind was her own again.

He sought her out while they were patrolling that night. "You didn't say goodbye."

She looked away. "I could barely stand to leave you."

"Then why did you? Just because of your family? I'm sure we can figure something out."

"What would it get for us?"

"A lifetime of what we shared today."

"They'll kill you, and then I'll have that on my conscience forever."

He looked hurt. "Do you really think so little of me that it would come to that?"

"I'm sure that you're as capable as you are good at... other things, but my family... they're..."

"I think it's worth trying. You're worth the risk to me."

"But they'll..." It would be horrible, she knew.

His hurt look intensified. "You mean I'm not worth the risk to you. Thank you for your time, Miss Black."

He turned and walked back toward the Hufflepuff areas. A moment later she was alone with her own inhibitions and longing. "Ted," she whispered to the stone walls.

They never once spoke during a month of revisions and two weeks of N.E.W.T.s. They still sat where they could see each other, and the Hufflepuff girls still sat too close to him. She knew, from what she hoped seemed like casual glances, that he watched her, but she didn't know what he thought, because they no longer shared their thoughts. She'd never been so lonely in her life.

She spent long hours beside the fireplace in the common room, wondering if he was on the other side of the wall again. It comforted her to study that way, thinking that perhaps the voice in her head supplying the missing terms was really him, but she knew it was no use. He was no doubt studying anywhere else in the castle.

Patrols were likewise a lonely affair. She walked the hallways assigned to her, avoiding those places where Hufflepuffs commonly roamed. She feared what would happen if she ran into the Mudblood. She was equally likely to run away or to fling herself into his arms. She told herself that she needed to be strong. This was necessary, since she was going to be apart from him forever once school days ended.

Showering was a new experience. She was now fully aware of her body and what a man...one man...could do with it. Her breasts sprung to life when she washed them, and when she washed lower, her body would sometimes start to shake with want. Several times she leaned against the tiles and simply let the water wash over her, slowly turning her wakened desire into something that would allow her to function. The nights were a different story. She dreamed of the Mudblood more vividly than ever. His kisses were magic, his touches were joy, and the lovemaking was a miracle. She woke in tears and tried to still her longings, but she knew it was useless. It wasn't just the passion, either. Ted had given her a sort of affection she'd never known in her parents' home, and she thirsted for it.

She ought to stop watching him at meals, she told herself. It was becoming painful to see him, and to see his kindnesses to the other witches. There was no way that he would be allowed to stay single; the other witches would make sure he finally chose someone after Andromeda was married.

She tried to tell herself that it was better. The loveless life in her future would be that much worse if she thought he was also doomed to a life without love. Yet her heart rebelled at the thought of another witch knowing what she had known. She couldn't stand the thought of him whispering lovingly to the other witches, or kissing them. It hurt to think of anyone but her experiencing the bliss of their intimacies in that cabin.

She packed her trunk one last time and queued up to go down to the train station. The chattering of other girls in the carriage grated on her, but she looked out the window and tried to ignore them. She found an empty compartment on the train and sat down next to the window, staring through tears at the rail station and, in the distance, the school. Somewhere in a wooded section nearby was the small cottage where she had briefly known true happiness.

Someone came into her compartment. She could ignore whoever it was. She could hear an incantation to seal the door shut and thought to herself that it was as well that they wanted peace and quiet. Surely they wouldn't disturb her, then.

The train started with a lurch, and a body fell across her lap.

"Oof!" She pushed the other student off her lap, and then her whole body started to tingle and tremble. It was Tonks.

"Oh!" she said weakly.

"I've been waiting for you to make some signal. You never came nor spoke."

"There was nothing to do or say."

"There's everything, Andromeda, and all our lives to do and say it."

"I don't have the luxury of making that choice."

"Why not?"

"My family will..."

"Does it matter what they will do? If they care so little about you that they would subject you to the sorts of marriages you face?"

"I can't just ignore them."

"Why not?"

"Because they're my family. I have to do what they say."

"According to who?"

"Whom."

He rolled his eyes. "Andromeda Black, I'm in love with you."

"There's nothing I can do," she said. "It doesn't matter what I want. If I don't do what they want, they'll find me, and they'll force me..." The possibilities were frightening, and she started to lose her breath with distress.

"If they're going to force you, anyway, why not try to break free?"

"Because they do terrible things. You don't know my aunt."

"They wouldn't use Unforgivables on you."

"There are a lot of horrible spells that aren't Unforgivable, and they have magical devices, too." She recalled the day she'd been caught wandering off in Diagon Alley and the bracelet she'd had to wear for weeks that screamed whenever she got too far from her mother. Father claimed that he had a special necklace for witches who loved against their parents' wishes. It supposedly settled over the heart of the witch and caused physical pain whenever she thought of her love. Tonks could never cause her pain; she simply wouldn't allow it.

Suddenly she was crushed against his comforting chest. "Ah, love, I don't want to upset you."

"Ted," was all she could whisper as her distress turned into tears.

She awoke hours later, by the look of the darkening sky outside the window. Tonks had shifted things around so that their feet were propped up by their trunks. She was still cushioned against his chest, and his arms held her protectively even as he dozed beside her. It was heaven, and she hated to end it. He woke the instant she stirred.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she got up and moved to the opposite seat.

"It wouldn't do for me to get too used to it. I'll miss it so when I'm..." Visions of the senior Nott and his rumored perversions made her choke up. She smiled, a little too brightly, and said, "You have so much love to give, Theodore Tonks. Please promise me that you'll find someone... I'll hate her, of course, and you for the rest of my life, but I can't bear the thought of both of us being miserable."

He shook his head. "Don't do this."

"I have no choice."

"You're a full grown witch. You're of age, and I heard you've been accepted at St. Mungo's..."

She shook her head. "That's all off," she said in a voice that sounded small and weak. "My father fixed it so that a great many of the other students were accepted with scholarships this year. There was no room for me. He wrote to me that I won't have time."

"So what will you do?"

"There's my presentation before the Wizengamot in a few weeks. I'll be married a month later, or maybe two. They have several highly eligible bachelors who supposedly want me." She looked out the window and wondered why none of them thrilled her as Tonks did. They weren't all horrible.

"That's hideous."

She shrugged and tried to be nonchalant. "That's my life, Mudblood."

He moved over to her seat. "How can you stand it?"

They all flashed in front of her: Avery, Nott, the Lestrange brothers... the Dark Lord. She shivered. "I'm sure I'll get used to it or something."

"Like you got used to this?" He reached for her and kissed her. The universe slid into place as their lips met. For a few precious minutes, she let it happen. It would give her something to remember when she was forced to become another man's wife.

Then she pushed him away. "We have to stop," she said.

"Why won't you understand? It never has to stop."

"They'll never let me."

"Then let's run away... right off this train when we get to London. We'll go get married, and then they won't be able to separate us."

"And then what? How will we live?"

"We'll find someplace, and I'll have the Auror job. Maybe St. Mungo's will take you after all."

He kissed her again, and she pictured it just as he said. Even an old dusty two-room cottage with the Mudblood...Ted, she told herself...would be better than the grand marriage of her parents' design with one of those other wizards.

He pulled away. "You know you want to. You won't admit it, but you even have feelings for me."

She was suddenly tired of it all and snapped, "Of course I have feelings for you, Mudblood; I love you."

She gasped and put her hands over her mouth as she watched his face dawn like the brightest summer day.

"I...I shouldn't have said that."

"But you did say it, and it must be true. You've never really lied to me. You wouldn't lie to me about this."

He leaned down and kissed her again, holding her tight. She knew she should struggle. She should fight him for his own good because her family would never allow it, but for now she couldn't. Instead she kissed him back, molding her body against his and clinging to him. For now they were together, as perfect as could be, young and in love until... The train stopped with a violent jerk.

They got up, gathered their things, and Ted took both their trunks. It was the only chance she would ever have to say it. "Farewell, my love."

"I don't accept it," he said. He followed her to the stair and nodded toward Cygnus Black. "There's your father. I'm going to ask him for permission to visit."

"Ted, it will be a disaster."

"Nevertheless, when a man wants to court a woman, he asks her father."

"Ted!" she hissed, but he was determined.

Cygnus Black smiled blandly upon his middle daughter. "Ah, Narcissa is the first off the train, and Andromeda finally graces us with her presence. Your grades do your family credit, my dear. Your suitors are all properly impressed."

"Mr. Black," Ted started. Andromeda started to feel panicky.

"I see you have my daughter's trunk. Thank you young man." A wand was tapped on the trunk, which disappeared, presumably home. "As I was saying, daughter..." Cygnus took his daughter's elbow firmly and walked her toward the barricade. Druella and Narcissa were ahead of them.

Andromeda turned and saw Ted, who hadn't moved in several minutes. She could do no more than mouth, "I'm so sorry," before her father tugged at her arm and said, "Don't make a scene, young lady. It's not unheard of for young witches to have admirers, but that's all he will ever be."

"No, father." But she could feel his eyes on her back, and everything within her screamed that she needed to be with him.

Andromeda did very little for another two weeks. She slept late into the mornings, feeling fuzzy-headed when she woke. Then she felt sick until she ate her breakfast. After that, she wandered through the house, looking for some spot that felt like home.

She would start in her own bedroom, but all she could think about was the pleasure she had discovered in the bed with Tonks. She wandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she missed having his eyes on her when she ate. She'd never really been at home in the other rooms of the house, and so invariably ended up back in her room, where the sight of her uniform or a school book would cause her to cry. She often lay down on her bed and fell asleep after that.

In the evenings, she dined with the family and whatever business associate father had in that night. On several occasions, she realized the wizard at dinner was there to assess her. Father would describe her excellence at Hogwarts and the fact that she had been a Prefect. The wizards would answer with their approbation, and Andromeda expected every morning to hear that one or another had offered a contract for her.

One day during her wanderings, she happened past father's study and heard him speaking angrily at someone. "I expected you to get the hint when I ignored you at the train station, young man."

"I refuse to be ignored, sir. I am here to ask permission to court your daughter."

"It's impossible."

"I'm sure that it's quite possible, sir. I love her, and I believe she loves me, too."

"In love with a Mudblood? Preposterous!"

"Nevertheless, I believe she and I could have a happy life together..."

"Andromeda Black was not born to be happy. Her future is to be great."

"I'm not as wealthy as your family, but I have a good job and I believe we will have every necessary comfort..."

"She's never given a thought to her own comfort. Her needs don't run that way."

"Sir, please, just give us a chance..."

"I believe this interview is over, young man."

Andromeda withdrew up the stairs, but stood where she could catch a glimpse of him.

"Thank you for your time, sir. I'm sorry we couldn't come to an agreeable conclusion."

He looked so manly standing there, in a businesslike wizard robe. He spoke like a proper wizard, too, and not with his usual common accent. But under it all was that cheerful smile, that sandy hair, and the chest that had given her such comfort. Perhaps he felt her looking at him, because he happened to glance her way. She ducked away and stood with her back against the wall, trying to calm herself.

"I don't give a tinker's damn about what gives you sorrow, young man. I've spent far more time on you than I've ever spent on a Mudblood before. Let this be the end of it."

Ted's voice raised just a bit. "I'm sure Andromeda knows that if she's ever in need, I'll be there for her."

The front door opened and closed. Andromeda's heart wandered down to the street with him, wondering what he would think and whether he would let it go at that. She wasn't sure what she expected him to do next.

"Andromeda Black!"

It was time to face the music. She took a deep breath, walked back down the hallway, and descended the stairs.

"Yes, father."

"Have you been encouraging that Mudblood?"

"No, sir." She'd done everything in her power to discourage him, for his own good.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Father's eyes stared into hers.

She forced herself to be calm. "Any feelings I might have are unimportant, Father."

Father's stance softened just a bit. "That's my girl. I believe we have almost finished negotiating your marriage contract."

"With whom, father?"

A strange look passed over father's face. If she didn't know better, she would think it was fear. "I think I'll let the wizard introduce himself to you when the time comes."

If father had that look on his face from dealing with her future husband, what would her life with the man be like? That was the day she started sorting things to put into a carpet bag Uncle Alphard gave her as a gift for completing her education. "I think you will find that it has a capacity greater than it appears," he had said with a wink. The bag held items she wouldn't have expected as well as clothes. Things she loved went into it as well as things she might need if she ever had to leave in a hurry.

A week later, she was summoned to the door of the formal drawing room. Mother was beaming and Father looked less stern than usual. "The contract is signed. The marriage is set for the fall."

"Who?"

Father opened the door and guided her into it. "It wouldn't do for you to keep your husband waiting, dear."

The door shut with Andromeda on one side and her parents on the other.

"Ah, Miss Black. How are you?"

She turned back to the door, sure she wasn't supposed to come in this room. This wizard was...

"Miss Black?" his countenance turned as dark as his nature.

She immediately sank to her knees and bowed before him. "I'm sorry, my lord. I was surprised. I didn't expect that they would have..."

"If we are to form the alliance your parents and I have agreed upon, you may call me Tom when we're alone. In public, you will call me 'my lord,' as does everyone else."

He leaned down and lifted her up. Andromeda feared those hands at her shoulders more than anything about him. It was all in the way he used them to caress his followers or to hold his wand just before some frightening spell was cast. Somehow she forced herself to remain calm as he put his fingertip under her chin to look into his face. His benign smiles were worse than the frown of any person she'd ever met. "Of course, my dear, you weren't expecting such an honor. Your modesty is charming. Yet where else would I find the best ground to plant the seed of Slytherin than the House of Black?"

"Bellatrix, my lord?"

A flash of anger crossed his features. "Barren. She's an adequate lover, but hasn't got with child. I've learned the little whore has been with several wizards with the same results. Lestrange wants her even without issue; he can have her. I'm moving on... to hopefully more fertile ground."

He pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. Not... Ted...

One of his hands was at the small of her back, pulling her close to where something poked into her tummy. Suddenly he pulled away from his kiss and moved his body far enough away to place his hand over her abdomen, probing. Then he smiled even more cruelly.

"I had my worries, since your sister is obviously barren, but you're quite fecund, aren't you, my Andromeda? You will be the garden of my strength."

"My lord?"

"We're alone, so please call me Tom, my dear. My followers know that I have found the secret to avoiding death. I shall teach you. I think you will find it quite easy. After a while we shall conceive the first of my loyalest followers. In the meanwhile, we will find many ways for you to serve my various needs."

Then those hands, those horrible hands, were touching her breasts. He squeezed hard, causing her to yelp in pain.

His lips lowered again, but Andromeda lost all control over herself. Her breakfast suddenly reappeared, covering the front of the Dark Lord's robe and her own. In an instant, her wand was out, cleaning up the mess. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's come over me."

"Ah, my sweet witch, it's the excitement." He slid his hand over his cleaned robes and then pointed at her. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned up? A house elf can do the rest. Then we will go some place private, and I will start to teach you the secrets of my life."

She backed out of the room, and then walked quickly down the hall. It wasn't excitement, and she suddenly saw it very clearly. She closed her eyes and willed her thoughts...her very being...harder than at any time since the afternoon she had spent with Ted. Please be there. Please... please...

I'm always here for you, love.

She nearly stumbled on the stairs, she was so relieved to make this connection.

Did you really mean it, that you would help me if I had a problem?

He seemed to sense her desperation. What's wrong?

Her mind flashed the moments before... the Dark Lord... his groping... his kisses... her sudden sickness... In response, she had an impression of a pure anger, of rage even, at the wrongness of it all. It comforted her to think that he still felt this way about her.

Can you get here? The image of a particular place was strong in her mind.

It was quite familiar to her. Yes, I can get there.

Come to me, love. We'll find a way to solve this problem.

She turned on the taps to the shower and then dropped her dress where she stood. Without getting in the shower, she tiptoed to her room and dressed quickly. Then she pulled her bag out of the back of her closet. As she made her way down the back stairs, she heard the Dark Lord speak to her father.

"I believe she will suit me admirably, Cygnus. She's a little shy, but she'll grow out of it. She's not one of those overly bold girls, like your other daughter."

"No, my lord." Was that her father's voice, sounding so deferential?

At last the kitchen. It was deserted even of house-elves at this time of day. She tossed some powder into the fireplace and said, quietly but firmly, "The Leaky Cauldron."

A/N: Thank you to Kyria of Delphi and Pennfana for their review and advice!