A Madness Most Discreet

Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

Please note: Usually the stories I write would be probably be rated "R-lite". This one is fully R-rated, as part of the fest it was originally written for. For those who are used to a particular sort of love scene in my stories, you will find this a bit more explicit.

The April Hogsmeade Weekend arrived, and it would be the last of Andromeda's career at Hogwarts. She decided to enjoy the spring day and go into town to pick up a book she wanted for her Arithmancy N.E.W.T. Sidestepping packs of third years and paired-off fifth years, she arrived at her destination and made her purchase.

After wandering through town, she realized there was nothing else she wanted to do. The world had become quite centered upon one single wizard whom she couldn't marry, regardless of her feelings. She shrugged and started on her solitary way back to the school.

A sudden squall took her by surprise and she moaned with dismay as her clothing quickly became soaked.

"Quick, over here," a voice said into her ear. She realized that she'd been covered over by someone's cloak and that he was leading her off the path. "There's an abandoned cottage just beyond those trees."

She allowed herself to be led, knowing that it was Tonks. They hadn't been this physically close in a couple of weeks, but it was as if she'd never been anywhere else. "I need to get back to the school."

"I'm afraid it will be hours before this blows over."

He managed the latch on the door and guided her into the cottage. After casting a dusting spell at the one chair in the room, he lit a fire in the fireplace and smiled ruefully at her. "I guess we'll have to hope it's not full of birds' nests and things." He conjured a chair for himself and sat close to her, but shifted so that he could look at her.

Perhaps the cottage was enchanted, or perhaps they were lucky. The chimney drew the smoke and the fire was quite comfortable. Nevertheless, Andromeda started to shiver. Ted came over and stood her up. "We need to get this robe dry." He unfastened it and worked it down over the wet sleeves of her blouse.

"It's no use," she responded, "it's all soaked through."

"I'm afraid I can't stand the sight of you wearing nothing, Andromeda," he replied. "I'm liable to lose all my self control."

"Why don't we?" she asked. "We've both researched it thoroughly. The most likely remedy is for us to have sex."

"No, Dromeda, it's for us to consummate true love."

"Mudblood, I'll never have that, but I suspect this is the closest thing I ever will have."

His eyes became moist. "My poor love, are you so sure it's really like that?"

"I told you, my whole life is the sum of my children. If I don't produce magical pureblood children, my life will be a failure. Love doesn't enter into it."

"What about your parents?"

"Contracted. How they managed the three of us I'll never know, because they are indifferent to each other at best. I suspect the three sets of matched jewels my mother owns have something to do with it."

"I believe you love me."

"That's impossible. It's just the Amortentia making me feel like this toward you. Once we've done it, it will be all over. Then I can go on with my Healer training and..." She didn't know what happened after that. How would she fill her life without Ted in her dreams?

"You know how it's working in this case."

"It can induce romance between any two people."

"This Amortentia was mixed with Veritaserium. That changes everything."

"Please, Mudblood, I can't love you!" She was starting to feel nervous.

He pulled her close and held her tight. "All right, love. I believe you."

"I can't love you, and I can't go on like this. I need to study and to prepare for my Healer training. I need to be free of this, and you say only you can help me."

"What will your pureblood husband think when he realizes you're not a virgin?"

"He'll probably bed me before the wedding himself and suppose that I'm not a virgin because I've been testing other men. More likely he'll think other men have been testing me. It doesn't matter, Mudblood. I know you want some lovely life where we can live happily ever after, and you don't want to think of me as some sort of tart, but that's all I am. You're the only one who doesn't see me that way. You're my only chance to do this without it being a business deal."

He pulled her close again, tight to his body. Breathing deeply, he murmured to himself. "This will be as much like a wedding night as I can manage, then."

He knelt before her and took her hands within his. "Andromeda Black, I swear to you before any entities that might be listening that I will love you until the day I die. You alone will be the only woman I consider as a wife, and you alone will be the only woman to share my bed. I pledge to protect and care for you in any way that you need, from this moment on."

Andromeda stood there for a moment, feeling foolish. "Mudblood, I..."

He stood up and patted her hand sadly. "I know, Dromeda. You don't think you can love a Mudblood."

She bit her lip, ready to cry with frustration. "It's not exactly like that. Other men may have my body, and I may be forced to bear children for someone, but, Theodore Tonks, you'll always be dear to me, and to me you'll always be the one who really and truly cares, because no one else ever has..." She bit her lip again, ready to cry for real. "I'll never forget you."

"It's not a wedding vow, but it's the best we'll have for now." He pulled her close and kissed her. "There, there, now. No more tears. That's no way to act on our wedding night."

"In a dirty cottage?" she said, regaining her dignity.

"It's not so bad," he said as a shimmer of magic worked through, and the entire room was transformed from messy to clean. What had been small piles of litter turned into flowers or candles. Andromeda spun around on her foot until she saw the bed, which looked remarkably like the four-posters at Hogwarts, complete with heavy drapes.

"You've thought of everything," she said.

"If I had, there would have been an officiator here with a marriage license," he said.

"Well, you have everything else."

"Dromeda, I love you so much." He lowered his face to hers, and she gave herself to his kiss in a new and complete way, knowing that unlike the previous kisses, this time she would hold nothing back. Want flooded through her, familiar and yet different, comfortable and yet so very exciting.

She shivered and realized she was still cold. "Will you mind if I get out of these wet things?" she asked.

He shook his head silently and she undressed by her chair, hanging the various clothing on the back of it. As she reached her bra and knickers, she looked at him in concern. "I guess you've seen it all when you've seen my thoughts," she said.

"Never like this," he responded. "It's always been through your mirror or while bathing."

"You're not helping."

"Why don't you look at me?" She looked into his eyes...they were such warm, friendly eyes...and then allowed her vision to stray down to where he was now naked except for his briefs, which stuck out funny in the front.

"Is it always like that?"

"It is since I started desiring you, love, but no, not really."

As she watched, he slid his hands under the waistband of his underpants. An instant later, the undergarment joined the clothing hung on his chair and he stood before her, completely naked.

There was nothing left to do but reach behind herself for the hooks of her bra. It slid down her arms in a way that made him groan. Then he whispered, "Beautiful." That emboldened her to slide her panties down and place them on the chair. He groaned even more loudly, and she realized that his arousal had become more pronounced. Her previous observations and explorations were now all to the point.

There was no time to worry about it. He stepped toward her and leaned to pick her up. It was only a few steps to the bed, but he carried her. He set her down and sat next to her. Then he suddenly seemed a bit nervous. "This is like a dream come true, but I'm a little worried, Andromeda. I have so much desire for you that I want to just shag you senseless."

"Isn't that the point?"

He shook his head. "No, I want this to be something we both treasure. If it's the only time I ever make love to a woman, I don't want to waste it. Worse yet, if I'm not very careful, I'll hurt you badly."

"I don't think you could ever hurt me." She looked down, and wasn't sure. "I mean, it's supposed to fit, right? Plus, I trust you more than anyone I know. You won't hurt me any more than it has to."

He gathered her close and held her. "Thank you for that." He kissed her, and the sensation of bare skin was wonderful. Andromeda thought she could get very used to it if she had the chance.

"Ah, love," he whispered, "do you mind if I touch you?"

"Oh, please do," she responded. Somehow her body was twisting around to where his hands were cupping her breasts. He kissed her lips, and the reality of what they were doing destroyed the images from their dreams. She sighed. "Oh, please... more..." His mouth lowered to replace one of his hands and Andromeda felt herself growing faint. She was moaning and sighing something. Was it the Mudblood's name? It didn't matter. This was what she knew she would feel with him, but the dreams were no preparation for this.

His mouth was everywhere, following his hands. Her own hands, unsure what to do, chose to explore what they could. They rubbed those shoulders she'd admired all year, and then she ran her hands through his hair, admiring the way the sandy blond strands felt between her fingers.

At some point, his lips returned to hers and their bodies started to align together. She slid a leg around his hip and wrapped her knees around him, pressing up against him. After the way they had moved together for weeks in their dreams, it came naturally to her. Something heavenly started to move through her, but it wasn't quite enough.

"Mudblood, more!"

"Ah, love, we need to take our time, but Merlin, I think you might be ready for me." She felt fingers, gentle yet inquisitive, probing. Her body threatened to go wild, but then he moved away and she felt something new rubbing against her, giving her a heady feeling. He moved gently as she moved with decreasing control.

One of them moved farther than before, and then there was a new sensation within her. She opened her eyes and looked at him in delight. "Is this how it is? It's amazing."

His face was full of strain. "Not exactly. Are you absolutely, positively sure?"

"Oh, yes," she breathed out, more sure of this than anything in her life. This was magic, more than anything she could do with a wand. Somehow, she had known from the beginning of this insanity that he would make it perfect.

He groaned loudly, and suddenly there was a stinging pain that made her cry out. Everything stopped as he hugged her tight and whispered, "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"No, it's...it's..." And suddenly it was fine, because his hands were touching her, rousing her again. "Please," she whispered, moving her body against his.

"I won't be able to stop," he groaned, moving within her, faster and more intently. She regained the rhythm and matched him, grinding against him as that wild, heady feeling crept back upon her.

"Oh, I love you," he whispered as he suddenly thrust deeply within her, his body shaking for a moment. He pulled back and thrust within her again, shaking again. Andromeda felt her own body shivering as the feeling of wild excitement receded. He collapsed upon her, and she lay beneath him, wondering if anything could be so wonderful ever again.

A moment later, he leaned up and looked at her. "It's better than I dreamed," he said, kissing her face in a way that made her feel... she didn't know the word, but it was a lovely feeling. "If you don't mind waiting a couple of minutes, we'll try to do it so that you'll enjoy it better."

"I don't see how it could be better. It was...I didn't know my body could do that."

He rolled to her side and put an arm around her. He kissed and caressed her softly for a few minutes as that lovely feeling continued. They could hear the eaves drip with the rain, and a stray gust of wind rattled the windows. "I've pictured us like this for a long time," he said. "Long lie-ins while storms rage outside, but us snug and perfect together."

"Just like this?" It felt so normal to cuddle up to him.

"Yes, I could do this for the rest of my life."

"I wish my life had room for something like this."

I wish you'd believe that we can be like this forever. There's always a way. Tell me why you think it wouldn't work."

She looked up at him and considered the situation. They lay together skin to skin, and his hand was caressing her shoulder and back. What could she withhold from him now?

"If they knew you existed, they would find a way to kill you. Then they would force me to do what they want, and it will be worse than if I just do it to begin with." She thought of the marriage her parents were arranging for her. "I'm already afraid of the wizards they want me to marry."

"You're afraid of Avery? I knock him over every time we play Quidditch."

"Yes, I know. It infuriates him, just as everything infuriates him. When he gets particularly mad, he slaps around one of the third-years. I suspect he's been... abusing... Maureen Smith. The girls say things about him... I don't want him to do the things they talk about to me."

"Tell your parents you don't want to marry him."

"They might chose Nott."

"He's all right."

"Not the Nott a few years ahead of us, but the father. His wife died in childbirth, and now he's told my parents he wants me. For the past five years, he's been coming to me in hallways and pushing me into corners where congratulates himself that I'm young and nubile."

"That you are," he said, "but no man of that age has any business noticing."

She shuddered. "He says his wife was too old and that she wasn't able to do the things he wanted. I don't want to know what those things are. Still, the worst of all is the Dark Lord." She buried her face in his chest. He hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. Something within her relaxed and she curled right into him. He made her feel safe.

He chuckled. "You're like a kitten. Are you so starved for affection?" He spent several minutes holding her and caressing her. "So... Voldemort.... They might contract you to him?"

"It would be quite a coup for the Blacks to marry into the Heir of Slytherin's line. For some reason he hasn't taken Bellatrix yet. My parents have said that he might want me instead. I don't know what I'll do if it happens. He has these long, skinny fingers. They're not delicate, beautiful hands, and nothing like your nice strong hands." She reached for his hand and kissed it. "His are like the legs of a spider. When he touches me, I always think I'll die."

She felt herself being pulled close and her hairline was kissed. "My love, I won't let that happen. I'll be there, whenever you need me. I'll rescue you."

Her eyes pricked at this declaration of his devotion. "You can't. I'm sure they'll kill you if you try, but I can't tell you what it means to know that someone feels this way."

During the conversation, he had caressed her in a way that was relaxing, but now she was starting to be aroused by him. She wriggled a little so that her breast was in his hand and sighed softly. "Please, Mudblood, make love to me again."

They did everything they did before, except this time, he encouraged her to touch him more. She smoothed the hairs on his chest, tasted him, and traced the muscles of his shoulders and belly. Sliding her hand even further down, she discovered that he was once again aroused. She traced and massaged his velvet skin, feeling more and more excited herself every time he sighed or groaned.

Finally, he rolled flat on his back and pulled her over him. With his hands over her hips, he gently guided her body down over his. "Oh, Merlin," he hissed.

Andromeda went very still, unsure exactly what she was feeling. She'd never felt particularly empty or lacking before, but this sensation, of him deep within her, made her understand what she had never missed before but always would in the future. She moved up and then down, feeling her insides quake as she did so. She repeated the process and received a whispered, "Ah, love..."

She rose above him and lowered herself several times, feeling more and more excited. Ted picked up the rhythm, holding her hips and guiding her. Andromeda didn't need any further help to understand what she was doing. With every move of her body over his, she could feel greater and more intense passion. Suddenly she couldn't move anymore. She collapsed over Ted as everything seemed to fly apart into a million specks of light. Ted was grasping her hips and moving up into her, once, twice, and with a loud groan a third time.

He pulled her close and kissed her face again, whispering, "Oh, my sweet love."

"I had no idea. I thought the other time..."

"I think there's a lot we can learn together."

She woke a little while later to discover that he had a bucket of water. "I thought you might want it, and I suspect you'll want this." He handed her a vial with a small amount of red fluid that must be her virgin blood.

"Mudblood..."

"I couldn't get it all. I'm afraid we should have gotten it the first time."

He probably knew as well as she did that leaving it in the sheets was, so the old wives claimed, a way to ensure everlasting love and fidelity. By essentially rubbing themselves in the residue of their passion, they had invoked magic that would bind them together more surely than the potion accident had.

Nevertheless, Andromeda welcomed the chance to clean herself, and she looked for the loo.

"It's over there," he said, pointing toward a door.

Andromeda finished her business and went to the chair with her clothes on it. "It looks less rainy now; I think I should go."

He came and took her hand. "Wait a while, love. It will stop entirely soon, and I wish to hold you in my arms again. I told you there will never be anyone for me but you. So if I'm never to know this in my life after today, I'd like to experience it one more time."

She couldn't refuse, not when his voice made her tingle between her legs. She knelt on the bed near where he sat, and he reached over and held her face, pulling her close for a fierce kiss. "This is what we are," he said, almost more to himself than to her. He caressed her with great tenderness, careful of all the places on her body where he had been over-eager before. Yet she knew that he was just as eager, now. She kissed and touched him as much as she could, but he was clearly making love to her as he had envisioned it.

He placed a hand on her knee, running a thumb up her thigh, and she felt her legs move in response. His body slid up against hers, and then he was within her again. It was like home for both of them, she realized. His eyes shone with that look he gave her from time to time that promised forever. Something within her accepted it and offered everything within herself in return. His hands reached alongside her body to clasp hers, and he kissed her tenderly as he moved with utmost gentleness within her.

Andromeda didn't know where her hand ended and his began, just that whenever either felt their passion intensifying, they clasped tighter. She wasn't sure exactly where his chest and hers melted together, just that her heart was beating against his as though they were merged. She met his gaze, unsure if her soul was still her own, when he pushed more deeply than ever within her. She felt herself trembling as her body accepted his and she felt the bliss work its way through her. She thought she would scream at the feeling tearing through her body, but instead she could only let out a loud, whimpering sigh just at the same moment he groaned her name and shuddered within her. She had never clenched anything as tightly as she did his hands within her own while her body reacted to the intensity of their passion.

She lay among the pillows, and as he began to move away, she pulled his head to her. She laid it on her breasts and whispered, "Now you tell me," as she started to smooth her hands through his hair.

He told her of being the odd one in his family, a sensation she understood. He whispered of coming to Hogwarts, where everyone was supposed to be the same, but where he discovered the little tortures reserved for the Muggle-born, particularly for little boys who couldn't seem to grow out of their chubbiness. Tears sprang to her eyes as he described the loneliness of going home on the Hogwarts Express and watching all the kids who were greeted by their parents while knowing his own were held back on the other side of the barricade.

"But then there was you, my Dromeda. You were like an angel to me, so pretty..."

She harrumphed at that. "You know my sisters are both prettier."

He reached up to push the hair out of her face. "Never to me. I've never seen anything remotely like you."

She couldn't say anything to respond, but instead started stroking his head again. "So you stayed at Hogwarts because of me? I don't believe that."

"Not exactly," he admitted. His hand caressed her for a moment. "When I became aware of you, I realized I would never see a prettier witch. When we started working together as Prefects, you were all business, but you didn't really bully or abuse me. Somehow, even the word 'Mudblood' takes on a teasing lilt in your mouth, as if you're trying to remind yourself rather than me that we come from different worlds."

He had her dead to rights. She could only drop a kiss on his head and whisper, "Continue," with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Whenever I look at you, I can imagine a life in the Wizarding World. I picture myself with a wizard's career, with a witch for a wife, and I imagine myself as the father letting his kids off and meeting them at the train. Only now I've been caught up in my own fantasy. None of it works without you."

"Mudblood," she said tentatively, "I don't know if I can be the basis for another person's life like that. Even if I were free to marry whomever I wanted, I don't know if I'm strong enough."

"That's not the sort of marriage I want. I don't want you to serve nor take care of me, and I don't wish to serve nor take care of you. I want to travel through life hand-in-hand with someone who understands me. I want to help each other over the adversities, little and big. And, I do want as much of this as I can get." He leaned up and kissed her again.

A/N: Thank you to Pennfana and Kyria of Delphi for beta reading!