Chapter 4

A/N: I own nothing, nor do I make any money.

He was back at Godric's Hollow. Stumbling through the wreckage of what was once James and Lily Potter's home, Severus found himself in a nursery. And there was Lily, lying dead on the floor. Her beautiful green eyes were still wide with fear and sadness. Severus fell to the floor as his legs gave out beneath him.

His eyes snapped open. His breath came in shallow, hard pants, and his skin was soaked in a cold sweat. And then he heard the voice that soothed his innermost fears.

"Sev, you're alright. It was just a dream. You're safe. Please calm down." Lily was back at his side. His breathing returned to normal, but he was suddenly cold with the dampness covering his body. He pulled the sheet up to his chin in an attempt to stop the shivers ripping through his body. He needed a blanket. He grasped for his wand, but he was shaking so violently that he couldn't conjure what he so desperately needed.

"Call her, Sev. She can help you," Lily said softly from the side of his bed. He shot her a glare. "Don't use your evil professor look on me, Severus. It doesn't work, remember? Now, call her. There is no shame in asking for help." Her voice was stern but laced with concern.

"No," he stated in a harsh whisper. Pain ripped through his throat. Tears pricked his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have spoken, but Lily was being so insistent. He didn't need the Granger girl.

"For someone so intelligent, you're being awfully stupid, Severus." With that, Lily stomped off. The pain was now coming from his chest. Lily had left him. It's your own fault. If you weren't so damn stubborn, she probably would have stayed, his inner monologue informed him.

And then, with a start, he remembered the memories. Potter knew about his love for the boy's mother! The Granger girl had said the entire Golden Trio had witnessed them. Fear and vulnerability overtook his already weak body. He had to know who else knew.

He huffed with annoyance and defeat before reaching out for the coin sitting on the bedside table. His shaking hand knocked it to the ground on the first attempt. His long arm swooped down and retrieved it easily on his second. He found his wand again and quickly tapped the fake Galleon once before collapsing back onto his pillows.

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Hermione woke with a start. Something had forced her awake. Her hand seared with heat as she realized that the charmed coin was alerting her that Professor Snape needed something. Hoping that it was nothing too serious, she hastily rolled out of her bed in Gryffindor Tower and threw her robes over her jeans and T-shirt.

She quickly made her way to the hospital wing and then to Professor Snape's bedside in the corner. As she opened the curtains, sympathy ran through her body. He was visibly shaking and his trembling hand was clutching his throat.

Hermione went to the cabinet to retrieve a blanket and placed a Warming Charm on it. As she placed it around his shaking body, she looked at him with stern disappointment.

"You tried to talk, didn't you?" He simply nodded at her. After pouring a Pain-Relieving Potion into his mouth and assuring he swallowed it, she began chiding him. "I specifically told you not to speak! Do you want to lose your voice?" She huffed as she ended her tirade. She handed him the writing tablet and quill before sitting on the edge of the bed.

There is no reason to rebuke me like a child, he wrote quickly. He turned to her with a sour look.

"No reason! No reason? I only restricted you on this one thing and you ignored it! I am trying to help you, Professor! Why couldn't you just listen to me?" She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She couldn't have been asleep for more than three hours when she had gotten his summons. Hermione was running off of adrenaline and caffeine and had been for days. She was beyond exhaustion, but refused to ignore Professor Snape's needs. And she had no idea why. But she couldn't push past the feeling of annoyance that she had had to come to the hospital wing in the middle of one of her first chances at sleeping in a week. And she didn't try hiding it in her voice.

She looked back at the man beside her. "Is your pain easing?" she asked in a matter-of-fact tone. He nodded. "Are you warm enough?"

He started scribbling again. I am, thank you. He paused, and then took up his quill again. Please forgive me for waking you.

A stab of guilt washed over Hermione's body. Hadn't she told him to call her if he needed anything? He had risked his life to save Harry, and even herself, time after time, and she couldn't sacrifice some sleep to help him? She felt ashamed of herself. She hung her head and whispered, "No, Professor. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you." She saw him writing again.

You have not slept properly. When was the last time you slept?

Hermione let out a humorless laugh as she replied, "At all? Or straight eight hours like a normal person?" He gave her a stern look. She sighed. "I catch catnaps every chance I get. Before you called, I had four straight hours," she lied. There was no need to make his guilt any deeper. She quickly changed the subject. "Who were you talking to anyway?"

He scowled at her and then began writing once more. No one. I awoke from an unpleasant dream. But that is not important. May I ask a question of you? Or would you prefer to wait until morning?

Hermione paused for a moment before answering. She once again was racked with guilt. He had not knowingly used his voice. It was simply an involuntary reflex caused by a nightmare. With a pained expression on her face, she decided that she owed him whatever answers she could provide to his questions.

"Of course, Professor. Ask anything you want, and I will answer anything that I know." She smiled slightly and repositioned herself so that she could see his tablet better. He instantly began writing.

You mentioned that both you and Weasley were with Potter when he viewed my memories. Have you told anyone of them?

There was a look of desperation and, Hermione noted, a hint of fear in his eyes. Her forehead knitted in confusion. Of course they had told people. Those memories had proven that Dumbledore had ordered Snape to kill him, that the Headmaster was already dying from the cursed ring that had held a part of Voldemort's soul when Snape had sent the Killing Curse at him. And that Professor Snape had always been true to the Light, never to the Dark Lord.

"I don't understand, Professor. Those memories proved your innocence. Of course we explained them to the others. Just the members of the Order, though. We thought..." But she ended her thought as the realization struck her like a Bludger to the gut. He means his relationship and love for Harry's mum, Lily.

"You mean Lily," she managed to say. He only nodded with embarrassment across his features. "No. No one knows about that but the three of us. We agreed that it should be your decision to make that information public. It's just too private." He visibly relaxed in relief, but he was pointedly avoiding her eyes.

Hermione felt uncomfortable with this knowledge. It was somewhat awkward knowing that a man she had once thought incapable of any warm feelings was in love with a dead woman. But it also pained her. While Harry and all of Lily and James's friends were able to mourn in public, Professor Snape had kept all of his turmoil inside. She heard the scraping of his quill.

You said my innocence has been proven?

"Oh, yes!" she answered, a grin emerging upon her face. "Kingsley has been appointed Minister temporarily, and we've had a meeting with him about your role in the war. He sees fit to account all of your actions as necessities of war. You will not be charged with anything. In fact, you've already been counted amongst the heroes of the war."

Indeed, was his only reply. Hermione smirked at the curled lip that accompanied his answer. He was still Professor Snape, that was for sure.

"You should try to go back to sleep. The sooner you are healed, the sooner you can go back to terrorizing Potions students."

He rolled his eyes at her obvious attempt at a joke, but did not protest when she pulled the blanket up over his chest and put his quill and tablet on the bedside table next to his fake Galleon.

"I'll be back in the morning. If you need me before then, use the Galleon. I'm also going to give you a Dreamless Sleep Potion this time to prevent any more accidental use of your voice."

He nodded his assent as she chose a vial from a drawer in the table. He took it in one swallow.

"Goodnight, Professor. I will see you tomorrow." His eyes were closed before she even slipped out of the curtains around his bed. She was glad he had called.

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A/N: Many thanks and hugs to my wonderful beta, ks51689. She makes my run-ons readable.