Foofaraw

Foofaraw

Disclaimer: "Gonnae no' dae that," says Jo. "How no'?" says I. "Jist gonnae no'."¹

Translation: Scottish vernacular – "Please don't do that," said Ms Rowling. "Why not?" I asked. "Just don't."

This was the time of day he enjoyed the most, Amycus mused as he licked the last scraps from his plate. After dinner on Fridays, the previous week's miscreants were named, detentions were read out by the headmaster and the Carrows would find out what delights lay ahead of them over the weekend.

He and Alecto had missed the last couple of weeks after Severus had given them both surprise long weekends. Amycus was pleased with how accommodating Snape had been towards his two newest teachers. The headmaster had explained that as novices they may be feeling the pace more than those who had been teaching for longer, and he didn't want them wearing themselves out when they were clearly so important to the Dark Lord. Alecto had agreed, commenting on how wizened and dry some of the older staff had become. The look on McGonagall's face had been pure acid, and Amycus shuddered at the memory. No, he definitely didn't want to end up like that harridan.

Wiping drips of custard from his chin and protuberant belly, he threw his napkin onto his empty pudding plate and belched quietly. He did enjoy his grub. What had the lovely little blonde called him? A gastrolith, was it? Amycus decided to ask his sister later. Alecto would remember; she was such a clever little thing.

Rubbing the full roundness of his stomach, he leant forward, drawing Alecto's attention away from her conversation with her neighbour.

"I do believe the fun is about to begin, my sweet. Are you finished with your jam roly-poly? You really should eat more, Alecto," he said, patting her bony hand with his pudgier one, "but if you've had enough, I could always squeeze a little more in."

His spoon was dipping into her pudding before she had a chance to answer, and Alecto pushed her bowl closer to her brother, simpering. "You need it more than I do, and I couldn't eat another thing; I'm so excited. Snape said he has an announcement to make."

As if on cue, the headmaster rose to his feet, and the already subdued atmosphere in the Great Hall quietened to silence as the students awaited their punishments. Some were already cringing and holding hands with their friends for support as Snape's dark-eyed gaze swept the room. Alecto clapped her hands with uncontrollable excitement, stopping only when Severus scowled at her.

"My esteemed colleagues, students and others...," his gaze flicked briefly over the Carrows before he continued in an almost bored tone, "... the only detentions this week are for Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor..., " Snape's sneer was like a reflex, "... and Theodore Nott, Slytherin, for being in the upstairs corridors after curfew without due cause."

Neville's shoulders hunched as he awaited the pronouncement of his punishment. The last detention had been with Hagrid; he had escaped the Carrow's clutches so far, but he knew his luck would not last much longer.

"For such flagrant flouting of school rules, you will work every evening of next week..."

Alecto leaned forward in expectation, trembling fingers fluttering over her top lip.

"... In Greenhouse Five, helping Professor Sprout to spread dragon dung."

"That's disgusting," muttered Amycus to his pouting sister. "Imagine having to do that. It makes me quite queasy to think of it."

"There is one more announcement from the Board of Governors."

Everyone's eyes were on the headmaster, whose face was expressionless, and they held their breath collectively.

"On the last night of term, there will be a Winter Ball."

A susurrus rippled around the room. Most students looked surprised, some concerned, but very few appeared to be excited.

"More information will be posted on the notice boards and will also be available from your house representatives after the weekend.

"Finally, following recent attacks on Muggle-borns in the area, tomorrow's Hogsmeade weekend has been cancelled. There will be no more until further notice." Severus paid no attention to the protests from the students and the Carrows' displeased looks. He raised his voice slightly to be heard above the increased volume of noise. "That is all. Please, retire to your common rooms immediately. I must remind you that any misdemeanours will continue to be punished... severely."

Drawing his robes around him, he swept out of the room, a cacophony of ignored questions following him.

~*~

"I was just thinking..."

"Why does that phrase fill me with dread?"

"Do I really scare you, Draco?"

"Lovegood, you are the most unnerving witch I have ever met."

"You say the sweetest things."

"I wasn't paying you a compliment, you idiot."

"Malfoy, you do look funny when you sigh like that and roll your eyes."

"For the love of Merlin, Lovegood, are you going to tell me what weirdness was going on in your head, or do I have to guess?"

"I love guessing games."

"Please, stop dancing and clapping and just tell me."

"No guessing?"

"Lovegood!"

"I was just thinking..."

"..."

"You've just given me another of those looks."

"..."

"Ah! It's not a look of constipation, is it? It's a 'get on with it before I lose my temper completely' look, isn't it? So, I'll just keep talking and tell you what I was thinking. I was just trying to figure out the safest place in the castle to be in the event of an invasion of Glumbumbles or Pogrebin or maybe even Mackled Malaclaws... "

"I thought it was Horny Gollochs, Lovegood."

"Don't be silly, Draco. I already know about them. I'm not completely daft, you know."

"You...ˮ

"If the school is ever invaded, how do you think they'd get in?"

"The main gate?"

"Too heavily warded."

"One of the towers?"

"Too obvious."

"I give up."

"Really? You're just going to surrender? I thought you Malfoys had a bit more fight than that."

"That's not what I meant! Oh, I see; you're trying to get a rise out of me, Lovegood."

"You can stop looming over me, Malfoy. Do you want to know what I think?"

"Yes!"

"No need to get tetchy. I was just about to tell you. Initially, I thought of one of the magical loopholes, but..."

"Magical loopholes?"

"Yes, you know, like the Chamber of Secrets, the Headmaster's Oculus or the Room of Requirement."

"The Room of Requirement? I know all about invasions through that place."

"Things have changed since last year, Draco."

"You don't need to tell me, Lovegood; they're a hundred times worse. Have you any idea what those evil bastards out there are planning?"

"No. Do you?"

"I... um... I can't..."

"No? Of course not. So, anyway, I realised I was just being silly. Despair wouldn't come knocking at the door announcing its arrival. It would lurk in the dim, dank places on the periphery."

"Are you implying the dungeons would be a point of entry for whatever it is you're talking about?"

"Not the dungeons, but that is a brilliant thought I'll come back to later. You ought to brush up on your magical creatures, Draco. Have you really no idea what I'm talking about?"

"Lovegood, I am lost in your elliptical thought process."

"Are you sure you're not paying me a compliment?"

"Get. On. With. It."

"You know, your parents will regret paying for your expensive dental work if you continue to grind your teeth like that."

"..."

"And don't scowl, the wind will change, and your face will stay that way. All right, all right! Keep your hair on. I'm continuing with my line of thought. So... points of access would be the Forbidden Forest..."

"The Forbidden Forest? Why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't kn...Oh! You're being facetious, aren't you, Malfoy?"

"Are you becoming socially aware, Lovegood?"

"Are you even listening to me, or are you just escorting me around the school grounds out of some sense of duty?"

"I'm all ears, Lovegood. No, you don't need to run your hands over my head to see if it's true. It's a figure of speech, you daft witch."

"I knew that."

"Are you going to disentangle your fingers from my hair, then?"

"Um... well... I was thinking... about the dungeons..."

"Here we go. If you're going to start on about watching out for Plimpies...ˮ

"Plimpies are fish. You'd be in real trouble if you had them invading your common room...ˮ

"...Or Bowtruckles or some other ridiculous creature taking up residence amongst the Slytherin slime in the dungeons. Don't bother, Lovegood, I've heard it all before. We're arrogant, power-hungry scum as far as the rest of the school is concerned."

"Don't pull away from me, Draco."

"Why not? I'm one of those untrustworthy Slytherins."

"It's my fingers; they're still caught...ˮ

"Ow! Get off, Loony!"

"Oof! You're surprisingly solid, Malfoy. You knocked the wind out of me when you tripped and fell against me."

"I did not trip! You were holding me by the hair when I tried to leave."

"I... you... Draco, your eyes are fascinating when viewed from this close."

"They... I..."

"Mmhmm. All stormy greys with hints of serenity, and shot with silver."

"Serenity is not a colour, Lovegood."

"It isn't? Don't you feel colours with emotions and see them with feelings?"

"Aah..."

"You've distracted me, Malfoy. I was trying to talk to you about the dungeons."

"You were...ˮ

"We can't dillydally out here all night. As I was trying to tell you, when the final invasion comes, it won't come through the Room of Requirement again, so that will be safe. We can use that for our... um..."

"For what, Lovegood?"

"Shouldn't we be heading back indoors now?"

"What are you going to use the Room of...ˮ

"The dungeons! I was talking about the dungeons before, wasn't I? They're the safest place in the castle."

"If that was an attempt to distract me, it was pathetic."

"Come here, Malfoy. You are a wonderful... smart..."

"Stop kissing my forehead, you daft bint."

"Promise me you'll lead your Slytherins, and anyone else who might need safety, down to the dungeons when the time comes."

"Whatever, Lovegood."

"Perfect."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy with this discussion, though I use the term loosely, because I'm a little confused."

"Don't worry your pretty Slytherin head."

"Hey! Are you implying I'm an airhead, Lovegood?"

"Of course not, but neither are you a Ravenclaw."

"Thank Circe for small mercies. One mad Ravenclaw in the vicinity is plenty."

"Precisely. Don't just stand there shaking your head, Draco. Haven't we got a house reps meeting to attend? If we're late, the headmaster will have a conniption."

"Goodness, yes. What's on the agenda tonight?"

"The Winter Ball."

"You realise we'll all have to take a partner, Lovegood."

"Mmm?"

"Don't look at me with those big eyes. You know you..."

"What, Draco?"

"There's no point asking me to partner you."

"No?"

"You know I can't. And, I wouldn't want to... I'm a Slytherin, and there would be all hell to pay if anyone thought I was going with a girl from another house. Not going with because that would imply you're my girlfriend, and you're not... you know... It's dangerous."

"Well, Draco, I'm glad we've clarified a few things."

"Luna, wait."

"Draco, I understand. Truly, I do. You're trying to protect me. Now, take care where you're walking, otherwise you'll get slush marks on your brogues."

~*~

Hundreds of miles away, Ron Weasley sat crouched over a board. His concentration was improving, and the long winter evenings were the perfect time to hone his chess skills. Unfortunately, playing against his brother was becoming a little tedious.

Charlie had been kind to him initially when the depression still affected Ron's concentration span and had let him win a few games. Then had come a period when the older Weasley brother had tried harder and beaten him several games in a row, but eventually, Ron started winning consistently. As Ron leant over the chessboard in contemplation, waiting for Charlie's next move, he realised he needed more of a challenge.

A slim hand appeared in his line of sight, indicating but not quite touching one of Charlie's knights, and Ron heard a low murmur as the person leaning close to the dragon keeper whispered in his brother's ear. Charlie rumbled a thank you and moved his knight in an L shape, sweeping aside one of Ron's pawns and threatening his queen.

Ron's eyes flicked up to catch a sunny smile lighting the face of the Icelandic dragon rider as she observed the outcome of her suggested move. He moved his gaze back to the game, letting out a long, slow breath as he processed the shift in power caused by one single move. It was a bold option and not one his brother sitting across the board from him would have made without encouragement. One of the twins might have considered such an unexpected move, but then would not have been able to follow through with the killer blow. Ron's breath hissed through his teeth as several permutations ran through his mind, all of them ending in his defeat, aware the smiling witch was probably already more than one step ahead of him.

"Check in two, mate in three, she tells me. Submit?"

Ron's hand hovered over the board as he tried to visualise a series of moves which could save his king, but nothing presented itself. Eventually conceding defeat, he tipped his king gently on to its side, grimacing as his brother hugged and kissed the laughing girl with a casualness which made Ron feel inadequate.

"What's it going to be next, Ronald? Your shirt?"

Ron's skin blushed vividly as he hesitated before slowly peeling off his work shirt, swearing he would never play strip chess again. Especially not against Frigg Ragnarsdóttir, whose clear eyes currently followed his movements. Ron felt a flush burn across his pale chest, and his newly burgeoning muscles rippled as he pulled his hands roughly from his shirt sleeves before crossing his arms in a protective gesture.

Frigg's laugh was throaty as she licked a finger tip and made a sizzling sound as she touched it to Ron's fiery skin.

"Don't tease him, Frigg." Charlie hugged the witch close against his side. "You and I make a great team, don't we, girl?"

The witch replied in the affirmative, but Ron was pleased to see the subtle shift of her hips as she removed herself from his older brother's encircling arm.

"Perhaps you can help me in Norbert's den now you're half stripped for work, Ronald."

"Um... yeah... okay." Ron's eyes followed her as she left the room. Swallowing hard, he turned to his brother with a watery smile. "I suppose I'd better go and... um... help her. Do you think this could be dangerous, Charlie?"

"Undoubtedly, little brother," Charlie answered with a broad grin and a cheeky wink.

Squaring his shoulders as he rose, Ron swallowed again. "Wish me luck, Charlie."

"Luck, bro'."

~*~

Finally alone, Severus leaned back in the armchair in his study, stretching his long legs and easing the day's aches out of his shoulders.

The house representative's meeting had run quite smoothly with just the students, the Heads of each house and no Carrows present. He hadn't had to pay too much attention to the subject being discussed; Flitwick was perfectly capable and ridiculously enthusiastic when it came to planning school events. Severus had taken the opportunity to take a back seat and observe the proceedings.

He had wondered why the Board of Governors had made the decision to hold a ball, especially when the Death Eaters among them were well aware of the build up to a final conflict between the Dark Lord and Potter. Perhaps because of the impending call to arms, they were hoping to give the dunderheads one last night of fun before the nightmare began. Looking at the four young people in front of him, he had pondered how well each of them would fare if they were conscripted to fight and couldn't restrain a derisory snort.

Minerva had given him her best tight-lipped, waspish look and had asked tartly whether he wished to add anything to the discussion. Her eyes had narrowed a little when he had waved away her query with an assurance they were all quite capable of organising the debacle better than he. The corner of her mouth had lifted a fraction when he had suggested he could help with the decoration on the day. Telltale signs of McGonagall's dry sense of humour had been evident as she had accepted his offer and noted how much she would enjoy watching him tie bunches of mistletoe with festive ribbon. Lovegood's comment to watch out for Nargles in the mistletoe had elicited a small raise of the Head of Gryffindor's eyebrow and quirk of her thin lips in Snape's direction.

Turning his attention to the fey Ravenclaw, Severus had watched her interactions with the other student representatives. He had noticed how she sat next to Malfoy, occasionally tapped his knee or pulled his sleeve for attention, which, Severus had noted, rarely strayed very far from the blonde witch. It was clear to the more observant there was more than a Slytherin agreement to protect Lovegood going on with Malfoy. Despite Draco's feigned indifference, as he had lounged with his arms lying languidly along the back of the couch, Severus could have sworn the young man's fingers had twitched every time Luna's pale curls had swished past them with animated movement.

What about Lovegood and Longbottom? Snape had still not been able to figure out what the unlikely couple, along with their Weasley accomplice, had been planning to do with Godric Gryffindor's Sword once they had stolen it, nor had he any clue how they had removed it from his office and disposed of it so quickly.

His musings had triggered a scowl, and he had been mildly gratified by Longbottom's predictable flinch. Was this nervous wizard really the best of brave Gryffindor house? Neville's recovery and returned quizzical look had been unexpected, and Severus had started to wonder if there was indeed more to Longbottom than he had given him initial credit for.

Which left the other one: the Hufflepuff. He was the invisible man, neither quiet enough to be completely ignored nor gregarious enough to stand out. Even as Severus tried to cast his mind back over the evening, he could not recall anything the boy had said, nor even the colour of the nondescript lad's hair, let alone his eyes.

Some spy I am.

Then, at the close of the meeting, Lovegood had asked if it was true they would have to attend the Winter Ball with a partner. Severus had flicked his gaze to McGonagall, who had nodded confirmation. With that, Lovegood had leant forward, put a hand on the Hufflepuff wizard's knee and asked if he would agree to be her partner.

Uproar had ensued, if there can truly be uproar in such a small group. The Hufflepuff had blushed and stammered, shrinking back in his seat; Longbottom had grabbed Lovegood's hand, telling her not to be silly. And Malfoy? Malfoy had turned ashen, his lips pressed tightly together, and the muscle in his jaw jumping before he had surged from his seat and had left the office without saying a single word.

Severus had dismissed the remaining students with curt instructions. "Lovegood, you will work with Professor Flitwick on Charms, Longbottom entertainment, and you, Fringe-Flighty..."

"F-finch-Fletchley."

"You shall assist Professor Sprout with... floral... arrangements..."

The gathering had dispersed rapidly. Minerva McGonagall had been last to leave. Pausing briefly as she passed through the doorway, Severus had been taken by surprise when she had pressed a small coin into his palm.

"My Knut is on Longbottom and Lovegood. My Gryffindor against your Slytherin. I don't believe the Hufflepuff is truly in the running."

As he sat alone now, twirling the coin over and under his fingers, Snape's lip curled into a faint smile. It was a small token, but this had been the first positive interaction with McGonagall since...

His fingers stilled, and his eyes dropped to the Knut in his hand. Severus hadn't realised quite how much he had missed the sharp witch's dry humour and competitive banter.

It was one of the many things that had changed since...

With determination, he drew his thoughts back to that awful day. Despite his years in the ranks of the Death Eaters, the first time Snape had cast Avada Kedavra had been only a few months prior, atop the Astronomy Tower with Dumbledore on his knees before him... imploring him. "Severus, please!"

His mind veered away from the image, and he closed his eyes as bile rose in his throat.

Swallowing hard, Snape pressed fingertips against his eyelids, causing a sharp stinging and sparking redness in an attempt to obliterate the vision of the deadly green curse.

"Albus Fucking Dumbledore!" he roared into the empty room, releasing his pain.

Gradually bringing his breathing and emotions back under control, Severus let out a long, slow breath. He realised raging at the manipulative, and very dead, old coot was not productive, even though it provided some short term relief.

With a deep sigh, he relaxed against the cushions again, focusing his attention back on the coin in his hand. Curling his fingers around the Knut, Severus felt a small glimmer of hope. The werewolf had obviously been true to his word and spoken to Minerva, and this was her token of truce. Snape wasn't stupid enough to believe the Scot wouldn't have questions she wanted to ask, but this was a start, thanks to his old friend.

Lupin appeared to be as trustworthy and loyal as any Gryffindor, despite his affliction with lycanthropy.

~*~

"You're slinking into bed late tonight. Are you going to tell me where you've been?"

Lupin's hand stroked gently over the swelling curve of his wife's belly as he contemplated his reply. "Did you feel that? The baby kicked me."

"Stop being evasive and answer my question. Otherwise I'll kick you, and it will hurt a good deal more."

Remus chuckled as he laid an ear on Tonks' pregnancy bump. "I do love it when you get all authoritative."

"You still haven't answered my question, love." Tonks felt a sigh heave through him and ruffled his hair in response. "I know you can't tell me exactly where you've been or what you've been doing, but it might help to talk."

Lupin sighed again as he rolled onto his back, tucking his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. "I never expected married life to be like this, with me sneaking into my marital bed late at night, covering my tracks and unable to talk with my wife about my actions."

"You haven't lied to me, have you, Remus?"

Turning to meet her enquiring gaze with his shaggy hair flopping over his eyes, Remus gave her a reassuring smile. "No, you know I wouldn't, ʼDora, darlin'."

"Don't you 'darling' me until you've given a reasonable account of yourself, husband."

"I do love it when you emphasise that word. Ouch! No need to elbow me."

"Get on with it then."

"With what? This? Or this? Or perhaps...?"

Tonks giggled as her husband's hands strayed over her body. "Enough!"

"Enough? So soon? You're easily pleased, my dear wife."

"I'm not so easily distracted. Please, give me some credit."

Snuggling into his wife's side, Remus smiled at her insistence.

"Are you going to tell me about the other woman now, or do I have to use my Auror's interrogation skills on you, Remus? At this point, I should warn you, I have been trained in the use of acceptable force for the extraction of information. Don't laugh! You'll regret it if I have to use any techniques requiring coordination."

"What makes you think there's another woman?"

"I can smell her on you."

"What if I told you Severus made the fragrance?"

"Severus doesn't smell like that."

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"Not as far as I'm aware."

"I never have, ʼDora. I care for you too much."

"Yeah, I know. And that's half the problem: you care for me, but you'll never truly love me. I understand that. Honestly, I do. But sometimes, I think we should never have married. Remind me why we did, Remus."

"Because you're an oddity, and I'm a dangerous misfit; we both needed the security, and no one else would have us." Lupin's touch was gentle as he kissed his wife's temple.

"Now I remember."

"Considering we weren't particularly close before we got married, I think we've managed remarkably well."

"Do you ever wish you'd married for love?"

Remus paused before speaking. "I think we did the right thing, given our circumstances."

"You haven't answered my question. Don't think I didn't notice."

"About the other woman?"

Tonks sighed deeply. "That as well."

"I think I've found her."

"Her?"

"Yes. I think I've found the one."

"Are you trying to tell me you've found the love of your life?"

"I'm talking about the woman I've been looking for."

"Carry on." Tonks' voice had a hard, grim edge.

"Remember I told you before we got married how I had been given certain... guidance about what will happen."

"A prophecy?"

"Like that, but not exactly. Though they kept their cards close to their chest, I managed to wheedle a bit of information from someone with inside knowledge."

"I still don't understand how anyone can know for certain what's going to happen in the future."

"It's a bit complicated, but you'll have to accept the person involved is completely trustworthy and not some crystal-ball-gazing flake."

"You still won't tell me who it is? They could have more intelligence helpful to the Order."

Remus opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words were forthcoming, and he shook his head as a brief look of frustration flitted across his open features. "No. I still can't tell you."

"And the woman you've found? She's the one?"

"Definitely."

"Are you able to tell me who she is?" Tonks tried to keep her tone light as she closed her eyes and swallowed hard, uncertain if she wanted to hear her husband tell her he had found a lover.

"It's Hermione."

"Hermione Granger?" The breath whooshed out of her lungs, and she scrunched her eyes more tightly shut. Oh, gods, so young and beautiful. I can't possibly compete with that.

"Yeah, I know. I wonder why I never realised before. She's absolutely perfect."

"Perfect..." Tonks could scarcely speak past the lump in her throat.

"Sev's going to love her."

"Severus?"

"Yes, she's brilliant, and they'll work really well together."

"Oh, I thought... I thought..."

"You thought what, sweetheart?"

"I thought you..."

"Don't cry, ʼDora. Oh my goodness! You thought I was taking up with another woman. Oh, sweetheart, you know I'd never do that to you. I care far too much for you to ever do that."

Later, as Remus became intimate with his wife, spooning in behind her and running his hands over her gently swelling, fecund belly, a silent tear escaped and slid down Tonks' cheek. The realisation of how devastated she had felt when faced with the possibility her husband might have a lover drove home the fact she had fallen in love with the wizard who now held her tenderly in his protective embrace.

She also realised this was not what she wanted.

They never spoke of love, only of caring, and Tonks did not want Lupin's gentle caring. She did not feel she could cope any more with his eyes closed during their lovemaking, his gaze averted and his tears dampening her post-coital flush. Tonks craved absolute devotion, unrestrained lovemaking and animal passion, which she knew lurked beneath the werewolf's subdued exterior. She had seen flashes of it when he interacted with...

Damn him! She wanted his love.

Turning in her husband's arms to confront him with her desires, Tonks found Remus to be sound asleep.

A/N: Sunny33 is an amazing lass. She can make sense out of my drivel. How good is that?

1. Also, with my apologies to the Scottish comedy series Chewing the Fat, which had this as a recurring theme.

Translation:

foofaraw n. 1. a fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant. 2. an excessive amount of decoration or ornamentation.