Chapter Eight

The Christmas holidays were the honeymoon Severus and Hermione had never had. They saw no-one; all the students had gone home, desperate to escape, and the Carrows didn't celebrate Christmas. Hermione doubted they celebrated anything, except possibly death and murder. There hadn't been any reprisal for her escape from the Ministry, but she had no doubt Amycus was biding his time, waiting until the bustle of Christmas was over.

She and Severus kept to their rooms, seeing only the house-elves who brought them food. They spent the whole of Christmas Day in bed. Thanks to the roaring fires the house-elves kept burning in the grates, they were able to walk around naked whenever they pleased, and, gradually, Hermione lost the desire to cover herself up. Frequent sessions of ever more inventive lovemaking taught her not to be embarrassed, as did Severus' constant assertions that she was beautiful. The way he would watch her as she moved about the bedroom, reclining on the pillows, arms behind his head, as if he were the luckiest man alive, gave her confidence.

Severus, too, seemed more at ease with himself. The rigidity in his spine seemed to soften, and his prowling walk was replaced by something more akin to a strut. Steamy sessions in the bath ensured his hair lost the lankness and oiliness she was used to seeing. She teased him that everyone would wonder where the Demon Headmaster had gone, and he told her this was just for her to admire, that no-one else would ever see him like this. To which she replied, thank Merlin for that; he would lose all respect if he walked down the corridors naked. He had growled, scooped her up and taken her straight back to bed.

They saw in the New Year in bed, too.

*

On 2nd January, both Severus and Hermione were sitting, fully clothed, in his office (Hermione had insisted it was time she actually did her holiday homework) when Phineas Nigellus came hurrying into his portrait.

'Headmaster! They are camping in the Forest of Dean! The blood traitor...'

'Don't call him that!' snapped Hermione. 'His name is Ron!'

'...Ron, then, mentioned the place as he opened his bag, and I heard him!'

'Good. Very good!' cried the portrait of Dumbledore behind the Headmaster's chair. 'Now, Severus, the sword!'

Severus pulled aside Dumbledore's portrait to reveal a hidden cavity Hermione had had no idea was there, and pulled out the sword of Gryffindor.

'So that's where you put it when Ginny tried to steal it!' she cried. As he swung a travelling cloak over his robes, she asked apprehensively, 'Where are you going?'

'I must give this sword to Potter, apparently,' Severus replied, looking askance at the portrait as he replaced it.

'You're going to see Harry! Wait while I get a cloak too!'

'You are not coming with me,' he told her shortly.

'Why not?'

'I would have thought your experience with Dolores Umbridge would have taught you that. You are far safer in blissful ignorance.'

'It's not blissful! I've been worried sick about Harry and Ron ever since I came back to school!' Tears shimmered in Hermione's eyes. The thought of Severus seeing Harry and Ron without her was intolerable. She let them fall, making no attempt to hide them from him. She didn't often use tears as a weapon, but she remembered how completely disarmed Severus had been when she had cried in the early days of their marriage. She felt horribly guilty manipulating her husband like this, but the tears were real, and this was Harry and Ron he was about to go and see, and she'd be damned if he was going to leave her behind.

'And you still aren't going to tell me why it's so important to give Potter the sword?' Severus was addressing Dumbledore again.

'No, I don't think so,' said Dumbledore's portrait. 'And Severus, be very careful.'

Snape turned at the door. 'Don't worry, Dumbledore,' he said coolly. 'I have a plan.' He met Hermione's eyes.

'Please, Severus,' she begged.

'Very well,' he said, relenting. 'Come along then.' And he ushered her out of the door.

*

Severus' plan was two-fold. First he needed to find out exactly what Dumbledore was withholding from him, and Hermione knew that, he was sure.

'How on earth did Phineas Nigellus end up in Weasley's schoolbag?' he demanded as they made their way through the grounds.

'When we found out you were Headmaster, I took Phineas's portrait from Grimmauld Place so he couldn't spy on us for you. I put an Undetectable Extension Charm on Harry's rucksack, and Phineas has been living in there ever since.'

'I see. And what exactly are Mr Potter and Mr Weasley doing in the Forest of Dean?'

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. 'Dumbledore didn't want anyone else to know.'

'Hermione, please. Don't make me remind you about "love, honour and obey".' He smiled to soften the demand. 'Hermione, I am about to run the latest in a long series of errands for Dumbledore. In the course of these errands, I routinely risk my life; I may now be about to risk yours. I think, even if Dumbledore doesn't, that I deserve to know why.'

Hermione couldn't fault his logic. And actually, she agreed with him. So, as they made their way to the gates, she explained about Dumbledore's mission, the Horcruxes and why Harry needed the sword.

It was the first time she had ever seen Severus lost for words.

*

The forest was so dark that Hermione wouldn't have recognised it, even though she had been camping here with her parents. They landed so close to Harry, who was keeping watch outside the tent that she had packed for them, that she could have reached out her hand and touched him. She hoped he had remembered the protective enchantments she had taught him before she'd left for school.

Although every instinct told her to run to Harry, to make sure he was all right, to burst into the tent and see Ron, she let Severus guide her silently away through the trees. He threw his cloak around her too, as she hadn't had time to fetch her own. The hem of the cloak slithered along the ground as he did so and, for a fleeting moment, she thought she saw Harry stir and tense as if he had heard. But he seemed to give himself a little shake and settle back against the tent pole again.

Severus led her away through the trees, deeper and deeper into the forest until they reached a small, frozen pool, where he stopped and pulled the sword of Gryffindor out from under his cloak. Pointing his wand at the pool, he flicked it three times. Hermione realised the three non-verbal spells were 'Silencio', 'Diffindo', and 'Wingardium Leviosa', as the icy surface of the pool broke without a sound, and the sword rose into the air and floated out to the pool, coming to rest under the shattered ice. Severus flicked his wand a final time, and the pool froze over again.

He led her back behind a tree again and raised his wand for the third time. A dazzling silver doe emerged and cantered off among the trees. Hermione felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

After the last two weeks, if he were to cast a Patronus, she would have hoped that his happy memory would be of some time in those weeks (hers would certainly have been); in which case his Patronus surely would have been... well, it certainly would not have been Lily.

Involuntarily, she let out a little gasp, and he turned to glare at her, one finger pressed to his lips.

He need not have bothered. Hermione had her hand pressed over her mouth. But, in the bright white light of the Patronus, he could clearly see tears sparkling in her eyes.

He turned abruptly from her and sent the silver doe in the direction of Harry's tent. She couldn't bear to look at his face, but she knew he was concentrating hard as he watched the doe winding through the trees, enticing Harry towards the pool. As Harry came into view, Severus grabbed her arm and pulled her behind a large oak tree, and when Harry stopped at the pool, he let the Patronus die, cast a Silencing Spell over them both and Apparated them back to Hogwarts.

It was the first time in a fortnight she hadn't enjoyed being in his arms.

*

By the time they got up to their rooms, Hermione was crying, silently but steadily. She tried to run into the bedroom as soon as she got inside the office, but he reached the door before she did, and stood with his back to it, blocking her path.

'What is the matter?' Severus demanded.

She sniffed, swallowed and forced herself to look up at him. 'You still have Lily's Patronus. I thought that since that night... since we...' She took a deep breath, determined to be adult about this. 'Since we slept together...'

He interrupted her. 'You thought that my Patronus would change as yours did? I told you I will always love Lily.' Severus was angry, but with himself rather than her. He should never have taken her with him, never have let her see it. He should have known she'd think like this.

'I thought you loved me!' She groped in her pockets for a tissue and, finding none, dashed the tears away with the back of her hand. 'Stupid Hermione – fell for the oldest trick in the book – he seduces me so he must be in love with me. I'm such an idiot!'

'You seduced me!' Severus exclaimed, then broke off. That was childish, and this was an adult situation; he needed to explain calmly. 'I do love you, but that Patronus has been part of my life for twenty years. It can't change in an instant.'

'Mine did!'

'You have been casting Patronuses for two years.'

'So you're saying that because I was sixteen, my loving Ron didn't count?'

He stared at her. 'You loved Mr Weasley?'

'Yes! And it was real! Surely even you can see an otter isn't that far from a weasel. Which is why it's such a big deal that my Patronus changed. My loyalties, my affections have changed. And yours haven't. And to me, young, stupid, eighteen-year-old me, that's a big deal!'

And she reached round him, yanked the door open, making him stagger forwards, and ran into the bedroom. Once there, she slammed the door, threw herself down on the bed and burst into tears.

The honeymoon was over.

*

A/N: I have just been told I must italicise any direct quotes from the novels. Therefore, thoughout this story, Hermione's thoughts are now in double quote marks and, apart from where italics are necessary for emphasis, any lines in italics are from DH.