Chapter 5

Chapter 5

How the hell had it happened?

Striding back through the Hogwarts grounds, Severus tried to focus on the fact that he was free – absolved of all guilt. He had an Order of Merlin at last – something he had wanted since it had been denied him by the escape of Sirius Black. He even tried to focus on the unpleasant fact that half the Ministry now knew about him and Lily, but his thoughts kept straying back to what had happened with Hermione that morning.

He couldn't seem to rid himself of the picture of her in his arms, himself stroking her hair, and her fingers brushing against his neck. He couldn't tell whether that had been inadvertent, but he was certain she had not been adverse to him this morning. Once the nightmare had released its grip, she had given every indication of enjoying – of relishing, even – his embrace.

He could have had her then, he realised with a shock; he could have taken advantage of her vulnerable state. If he'd been gentle, treated her with the strange, new tenderness he felt towards her, she would have responded to him, he knew. He had stopped her because he'd feared he would not be able to stop himself.

But he knew he would have despised himself if anything had happened. He would indeed have been taking advantage of her, and that went against all his instincts. Despite all the accusations flung at him over the years, Severus Snape was an honourable man. There had been times, at school, when he had considered slipping Lily Evans a love potion, especially in their fifth year when Potter had been sniffing around her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hadn't wanted Lily under an enchantment; he had wanted her to be in love with him, as he was with her. Similarly, he wanted Hermione to give herself freely to him, not because he had taken advantage of a situation they would both later regret.

Severus squared his shoulders and quickened his stride, trying to put some distance between himself and Hermione. That was the first time he had admitted it to himself – he wanted her. He knew that, when they got up to the castle, he should just let her make her report to McGonagall and then send her home, but he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to do that.

Hermione, for her part, was feeling guilty. She should be back at work. There was no need for her to be here. Severus could very well report to Minerva himself, and he certainly didn't need escorting through the grounds. His acquittal seemed to have given him back his strength – and his temper. He was striding ahead of her as if he didn't want anything more to do with her. But she couldn't face going back to work, where the sole topic of conversation would be the hearing, and she didn't want to go back to her empty flat. She didn't want to leave him.

'We should go and report to the Headmistress,' Hermione suggested. Anything she could do to postpone going home was welcome. They had reached the Entrance Hall; fortunately lessons were in progress and no one was around.

'I will not walk all the way up to the second floor looking like this.' He set off towards the dungeons. 'I am going straight to my rooms to rid myself of these filthy robes before I do anything else.'

Hermione blushed and tried to rid herself of the mental picture he had just conjured up. 'I should go back to work. I'll just see you to your rooms.'

'You are proposing to enter the Ministry in that state?'

She looked down at herself. She had forgotten that she'd been wearing the same clothes for twenty-four hours. 'I can ask Ginny for the password to the Prefects' bathroom.' As she said it, she hoped he wouldn't agree. It was nearly lunchtime, and traipsing up to Gryffindor Tower like this, dodging the gawping students, would be worse than going back to her empty flat.

They reached Severus' rooms just as the bell rang for the lunch break. Slughorn's Potions class began to spill out into the corridor, and Severus pulled Hermione into his rooms before they were spotted by the students. He slammed the door behind them, and she suddenly found herself pinned against it, one of his hands still gripping her wrist, the other above her head where he had pushed the door shut.

'Well, Miss Granger,' he said softly, 'it would appear you are now trapped in here for the next hour at least.'

She stared up at him, trying to keep her breathing under control.

I shouldn't tease her, Severus thought. She's still confused about this morning. Hell, for that matter, so am I. But I'm serious; she can't be seen leaving my rooms, and if we Floo to McGonagall's office, she'll know we've just come from mine. She really is trapped here until lunch is over. He had to control his own breathing at the implications of that thought.

He released her wrist, which he hadn't even noticed he was still holding. 'You should have a bath here, Hermione,' he said more gently. 'It might make you feel better.'

'So should you.' Hermione looked up at him, eyes sparkling. Even with her newfound post-Azkaban confidence, she didn't feel quite brazen enough to suggest he share hers, but she hoped he would take the hint.

He led her through his office, though a small living room, to the bathroom. Another door led off the bathroom, presumably to his bedroom. Hermione found her eyes drawn irresistibly to it, and had to tear her gaze (and her thoughts) away. The bathroom appeared to be modelled on the Prefects' facilities: a large sunken bath with the usual array of gold taps. Severus turned on several of the taps and steaming hot water began to fill the bath. When the bath was full, he turned to the airing cupboard to find extra towels.

Hermione was so cold and achy that she undressed and got in without a second thought, but she was quite sure he was sneaking glances at her in the mirror as she did so. She hoped so. She was damned if she was going to go back home without discovering if there was anything in what had happened this morning. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since they left the prison. Hagrid had claimed that being released from Azkaban was like being born again, and, despite her exhaustion, she had to agree with him. Her libido, which had lain dormant since Ron had left her, had returned in heaping measure.

And if Severus had been spying on her, there was hope that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed luxuriously as the hot water enveloped her chilly skin and soothed her aching muscles. If she felt like this after one night in Azkaban, how must he be feeling after a month? Maybe she was expecting too much of him, she reflected, remembering her own words to Ron: 'He's not going to have the strength or the inclination... '

'Is there room in here for two?'

Hermione opened her eyes to see that Severus had stripped off his robes and was climbing into the tub beside her. He had obviously taken her hint. 'Well,' she corrected herself smugly, 'he's certainly got the inclination.'

'I should think there's room in here for your entire Quidditch team.'

'What a revolting thought. I have no intention of sharing you, and especially not with those little thugs.'

Hermione felt her cheeks turn pink, and not just from the hot water. I have no intention of sharing you. That sounded promising. She took a deep breath, plucking up the courage to make the first move. 'Come here,' she instructed. 'Let me wash your hair for you. It certainly needs it.'

He glowered at her, and she smiled sweetly up at him through her lashes. 'I've always wanted to say that to you.'

He settled in front of her and closed his eyes. 'You know, for the first time in my life, Miss Granger, I agree with you. Especially if it means you'll continue to do that.'

She was rubbing shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp, and he was clearly enjoying the experience immensely. When his hair was finally clean, she moved her hands down to his shoulders, her fingers working out the tension in his muscles. Severus relaxed against her, his head resting back on her shoulder.

Eventually, he tore himself away and ducked down under the water to rinse off the lather. When he emerged, his dark hair was slicked back across his shoulders and water cascaded down his shoulders and back. Hermione caught her breath and he turned to look at her.

'Your turn.'

'Not yet.' She pulled him round to sit back against her again. Gently, she swept the curtain of wet hair off his neck – the same gesture that had caused all the trouble this morning, but now she was in a position to follow it up. She bent her head and kissed his jaw, just below his ear. He groaned and turned his head slightly, allowing her better access. She kissed her way down until she couldn't reach any further, then wriggled out from behind him and made to continue her way across his chest.

With a groan, Severus grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her round, sitting her in his lap. 'Definitely your turn.' Before I lose control completely, he thought. I want the upper hand here. She has been entirely in control of the last twenty-four hours, but I'll be damned if I won't be in control in my own rooms, in my own bedroom.

He pulled her down to sit between his legs, and she gave a little smirk of satisfaction as she felt him pressing against her back.

When he'd finished washing her hair, running her curls through his fingers, he slid his soapy hands downwards. But he didn't stop at her shoulders; his hands slipped lower, massaging the soapy lather over her breasts. He wouldn't have dared do it if she hadn't made the first move every time; she had invited him in here; she had touched him; she had kissed him.

Hermione arched her back in pleasure, pushing herself further into his hands. His fingers traced circles around her nipples, which stiffened as he brushed his thumbs against them.

When she could bear no more teasing, she spun round in his arms and kissed him, twining her fingers in his wet hair, pulling him towards her. His arms closed around her and pulled her even closer.

They broke apart and she just gazed at him, dizzy with arousal. He traced the line of her mouth with his finger, stopping to pull gently on her bottom lip and exaggerate its curve. He leaned forward and kissed her lower lip, drawing it between his own, and she arched into him again, wanting more. The bath was lukewarm by now, but Hermione didn't notice; her skin was burning wherever it touched his.

Severus shivered slightly. 'The water is getting cold,' he said. 'We should get out.' Taking her by the hand, he helped her out of the tub and led her across the tiled floor.

'Where are we going?' The minute the question was out of her mouth, Hermione despised herself for its naivety. She might be half his age, but she wasn't an ingénue, so why was she behaving like one? Nerves, she realised. This wasn't the Ministry or the courtroom – she had no experience here.

He smiled at her embarrassment and inclined his head towards the bedroom door.

She let out an involuntary giggle. 'We're dripping wet! We'll soak the bed!'

'You have a point.' Severus reached for one of the huge, soft towels piled on the steps to the bath as Hermione reached for her wand.

She shot a jet of hot air at her hair, drying it in seconds, and looked at the towel in his hands. 'My way's quicker.'

'Ah,' Severus said silkily, running the towel across her shoulders and following it with his lips, 'but... my... way... ' (He was punctuating each word with a kiss.) 'Is.' (Across her breasts... ) 'More.' (Down her stomach... ) 'Fun.'

The two per cent of Hermione's brain that was still capable of thinking wondered if she had heard right. Did Professor Snape just use the word "fun"? Then that two per cent joined the rest of her in surrendering to the pleasure as he knelt in front of her and began running the towel up her thighs.

His hands stopped millimetres short of where she wanted them to be, and she whimpered in frustrated desire.

His lip curled into a smirk (Hermione's stomach flipped – funny how that gesture, which she had once detested, now seemed impossibly sexy), and taking her hand, he led her to the bedroom.

******

Hermione lay in Severus' arms, her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder, her fingers idly tracing patterns across his chest. She took a deep breath. There was something she wanted to ask him, but she didn't want to beak the mood. She decided just to ask; she had to know.

'Severus?'

'Hmm?'

'Can I ask you something?'

'No doubt you'll find you can.'

'Did you ask Harry not to tell anyone about your history?'

'Yes,' Severus said shortly, not looking at her.

'But why? If you had told people, told the Ministry, after Voldemort died, this would never have happened.'

Severus sighed. He had hoped he had put all this behind him. And this was certainly not the time or place to be discussing it. But he supposed he couldn't hide the truth from her.

'Hermione, Hermione.' He sounded faintly exasperated. 'If I were to explain about the pact with Albus, about my, for want of a better word, "double life", I would have had to reveal the reason I turned my back on Voldemort all those years ago. And if anyone but Dumbledore had known about that, what would they have thought of me? At best I would have been pitied, or mocked. I would have become a laughing-stock, my feelings sullied. At worst the public would have thought I had betrayed Lily deliberately.'

Hermione gasped. 'No one would think... '

He cut across her. 'They would believe I did it to remove James Potter from the equation, from the triangle, to clear my way to his widow.'

'Even now?'

'Even now. People do not forgive easily.' Severus gave himself a little mental shake. He didn't want to go into this now; he was not going to get maudlin. This was a new start for him.

But since she had mentioned it, there was something he felt he had to ask her. 'Would you rather none of this had happened?'

Hermione grinned. 'Well, of course, I'd rather not have spent hours with the Dementors, but I'm glad I got to know you better.' She started tracing patterns over his skin again.

'Well then, one good thing has emerged from this mess,' he said with satisfaction, watching the progress of her fingers.

Hermione decided the atmosphere needed lightening. 'Yes, you know how to deal with Dementors now.'

Severus bristled with mock indignation. 'I have always known how to deal with Dementors, Miss Granger.'

Hermione grinned at him. 'Are you sure, Professor? As far as I remember, Harry recommended using chocolate in that essay in our sixth year, and you gave him twelve and a half percent for it!'

He laughed – a deep, rich, genuine laugh she thought she would never tire of hearing. 'Perhaps that was rather excessive. But I am trying to be serious. This isn't easy for me; I am not used to this sort of conversation. I want to thank you properly for coming to my rescue. I wasn't very articulate in my thanks before we went to the courtroom.' He looked down at her and began to twist her curls around his fingers again. 'It just shows what an effect you've had on me – I am never lost for words! But I think knowing that someone in the outside world trusted me, believed in me and was fighting for me... '

'Even if it was the last person you'd have wanted to see.'

'Even if it was the last person I thought I would enjoy spending time with – knowing you were fighting my case for me when everyone else had abandoned me – that stopped me losing my mind.'

'I haven't thanked you for looking after me. If work ever tries to make me go to Azkaban again, I think I'll probably have to resign. Only you stopped me going mad in there. I thought I'd be OK; I thought I could deal with the Dementors.'

'Just as you thought you could deal with a twelve-foot mountain troll in your first year?'

'Actually that was Harry and Ron – I was just covering up for them.'

Severus groaned. 'Why does every conversation we have lead back to Potter?'

Hermione laughed. 'OK, OK; I won't mention him again, I promise!' She turned in his arms so that she could look up at him properly. 'What do we do now?'

'We should go and see the Headmistress before she starts sending panicked owls to the Ministry, thinking they've locked me up for good.'

She slapped his shoulder lightly. 'I'm trying to be serious now. I meant what do we do about this? About us?'

Severus suddenly became very still. 'Is there an "us", Hermione?'

'I'd like there to be.' Hermione held her breath. Please don't let him say this was a one off; I couldn't bear it. Please don't let him say he can't have a relationship, and least of all with me. She tried to keep her tone casual as she voiced what she prayed he wasn't thinking. 'Mind you, I dread to think what the staff will make of it. And the students. After all, only eighteen months ago, I was your student.'

'Do they have to know? You're the one who knows all the secret tunnels in and out of the school, Miss Granger.'

Hermione gawped at him. 'I never thought I'd hear Professor Snape advocating sneaking out of the school! Anyway, I don't want to sneak around. If we are together, I want everyone to know.'

'There will be plenty of time for that. I ought to let the school get used to me being happy for once. I need to get used to it myself!'

She let out the breath she had been holding – he did want to be with her; he just didn't want them to be common room gossip-fodder. 'Professor Snape happy? Half the school will faint with shock!'

'Oh, don't worry; I won't let it affect my professional demeanour. I must maintain my status somehow. The little brats will be gossiping about me already. I shall have to put a stop to that!' He sobered immediately. 'While I was in Azkaban, I promised myself that, if ever I got out, I would make the most of my freedom.' He bent his head and kissed her. 'And, thanks to you, I have the rest of my life ahead of me.'

He was right, Hermione realised as she reached up to kiss him back. Twenty-four hours might seem like a lifetime in Azkaban, but they had the rest of their lives to finish what those twenty-four hours had started.