Dinner and Light Conversation

Rain beat against the windows of Hermione’s flat. While several deplored the “dreary” rain, she had always found the rhythm calm and soothing. There was little she liked better than a day of rain when she could stay home preferably with a new book. Unfortunately this was not one of those days. Firstly, she was running dangerously low on fresh literary material. Secondly, she had promised Ginny that she would meet her for dinner. Generally dinner with Ginny lasted longer than the average dinner with friends, which meant the rain would likely have abated by the time she was able to return.

Hermione resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to leave the peace of her home. She dressed in some nice jeans and a gray long-sleeved shirt and Apparated to the Italian restaurant that was agreed upon earlier in the week. Ginny hadn’t arrived yet so Hermione waited in the bar area with a small glass of red wine. About ten minutes later, Ginny finally arrived.

“I’m so sorry I’m late Hermione.” Ginny breathlessly apologized. “I couldn’t find my keys.”

“It’s fine. I hadn’t been here very long.”

The host led them to a small table toward the back and took Ginny’s drink order. “So what’s up?” Hermione asked once the waiter left.

And with that Ginny was off describing every detail of her job at Madame Malkin’s, where she was interning, and the recent ups and downs of her relationship with Terry Boot. Hermione only had to offer the occasional response to Ginny’s monologue and so did not pay consistent attention to the considerable number of details offered by the redhead. Instead Hermione thought about what new book she should get, what groceries she was low on, and what paperwork she had to do Monday at work.

This was the life of Hermione Granger. She had perfunctory meetings with people she knew from Hogwarts, performed her job at an exceptional level, and lived a life of few pleasures, but fewer pains. She welcomed this after the war. Some had become almost addicted to adrenalin once the fighting was done and began engaging in extreme behaviors to hit that feeling again. Hermione thought that they hadn’t been tortured likely. Anyone who had wouldn’t seek out pain. There were also those who had been so damaged that they either ended up in hospitals or as hermits. Hermione didn’t count her among those either. After all she was here with Ginny, even if she didn’t necessarily want to be. So Hermione found her life content, or at least not stymied in one of the extremes.

As their food came, Ginny wrapped up her extensive update. Hermione knew that the conversation was going to turn to the topic she least liked but everyone felt entitled to ask. “Now that I’ve updated you on what’s going one with Terry and me, have you met anyone recently?” Ginny ventured.

“It’s the same as it was the last time you asked me and the time before that and, shockingly, the time before that. I am not seeing anyone. I have no desire to see anyone. I spent seven years of my life caring about and for two boys and another year trying things with your brother. I think it’s time for me to care about me. I don’t know why everyone expects me to constantly be courting and courted. I’m tired now. I’m tired of bad dreams and everyone’s expectations. I don’t have the energy or desire to take care of anyone else. I rarely got to spend time by myself growing up, and now I have my own flat, and it’s nice to come home and not have to try and make conversation. It’s nice to come home and get in my pajamas, have a glass of wine, and read. It’s nice to come home and relax and not have to engage in meaningless drivel with someone who doesn’t understand and whom I am using only as a warm body. I do not understand why it is so critical for me to have someone. It is not a sign of remaining damage, and it is not a sign of dissatisfaction with my life. It is only a sign of me not wanting to be in a relationship.” Hermione concluded with a sip of her wine.

“Herm, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wanted to know if you had met anyone since we last talked.”

“I’m sorry.” Hermione sighed. “I guess I am not feeling well. I really didn’t think I should come and I guess I was right. It’s nothing against you. I’m just tired. I’ll owl you later.” Hermione put her portion of the bill on the table and left quickly.

She knew she shouldn’t have blown up at Ginny. Ginny was one of the few who still maintained genuine interest in her life. She just wanted so badly to be back at her apartment listening to the rain. So that’s where she went. She went home, changed into her pajamas, and slipped into her comfy and warm bed, and let the pitter-patter of the rain lull her to sleep. It was often only on rainy nights she slept well, and although she regretted her outburst, she was not going to let this night go by.