Dark and funny at the same time - "Accio Elder Wand' indeed!  Although I was a little worried Dumbledore was really trying to convince Voldie of the error of his ways and failing dreadfully.  I should have known there was a twist.  The beginning reminds me a little of a children's poem by A.A. Milne, about King John, "who was not a good man," yet who still hoped that Father Christmas would remember him and fill his stocking on Christmas morning, and who (like Voldie) sulked no one gave him a gift.

“Fine. But I’m going to hide the sword in the lake just to fuck with him...”  This line made me laugh out loud!  We have to take our pleasures where we find 'em, don't we?Congratulations to Hbar!  Beth

So brilliant and sly - wonderful banter between Voldy and 'Brian' - HA! Striking contrast with the dark visions imagery/scenarios. Felt Severus' tiredness and tension headache - last two lines of dialogue - so funny & bloody sad... thank you! Have a great New Year, astopperindeath!

Oo, oo, oo *waves hand frantically in the air*  Can I be your first reviewer? I am absolutely honored to have something written for me.  And yes, let's start production straight away on your bottle o' squees.  World happiness, here we come! I lurked for a long time without reviewing, so there are many fantastic stories that I never commented on.  But once I started I can't go back.  You all spend so much time writing such fantastic stuff, it is the least I can do to tell you what I think.  Even if there are moments where you're wondering if I'll ever shut up.  I wish that more folks would do the same.  It is so exciting to see something new posted by one of this site's great authors (and there are many), and equally as fun to see new authors progress and grow in their talent from one story to the next.  I'm horrified to think how many hours I have spent with you all, but after work and kids are done for the day, it is my favorite way to wind down.  I hope to see you here for years to come because while there are many venues for fanfic, I enjoy the high standard of quality you employ, and everyone is so darn nice.  So please know the love is mutual.  And if a position ever opens up for incessant rambler ... clearly, I'm your gal :)As for your story, I loved it.  A story with dark moments and humor all rolled into one is not always an easy feat.  There was a lot to laugh at from the lazy bastard trying to accio the elder wand, to admiring himself in that particular shade of green.  Next thing you know he will be asking the Death Eaters if his butt looks big in his robes :)Your scenes of what the future could hold are horrifying, and I think pretty spot on to reality if the wrong side won.  Thank goodness it is all a ploy from the good guys.  As for Severus, how many times have I wanted to leave this in a review:" ... stop whinging. You’re almost forty years old. It’s getting embarrassing.”Ha!  So true.Thanks again for all you gals do, and to you  for sending such a fun story my way.  Have a Happy New Year!  *Runs off to check if word count of review exceeds word count of story*

Severus just wouldn't be Severus, if he didn't '' fuck with Potter " bless him. I love the way " Brian "   messes with " Tom " 

Tom and Brian go head to head! Priceless. I love this, especially the end line about Severus putting the sword in the freezing cold water just to mess with Potter's head. I always wondered about that, I mean surely there are less life-threatening ways to retrieve the sword under conditions of bravery? Trust Severus to come up with something so vile, god love him. Very well done!

Oh, I'm a sucker for humorous dark!fic. One tends to find it so rarely these days.

“Whatever you need to do, Severus. I know you don’t get a lot of happiness these days.”
It's nice of Dumbledore to so kindly give him a little freedom to do as he please.
Thank you for the wonderful story and happy New Year.

LOL.  Almost feel sorry for Tom!  Of course Sev has to mess with Potter's mind, wouldn't be right otherwise! :)

"Tonight was Christmas Eve, and he hadn’t received a single gift."  Fav line, best set up.  Truly a wonderfully snarky pic.  This was truly well done!  I laughed hard.  :-)

What a wonderful blend of dark humour and lightness. A great thank you for HBAR whose reviews are always much appreciated.