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A/N: Sunny33 started it with Acting the Goat. KingPhilipsWench wouldn’t let it rest with A Goat in a Silk Dress. Is this the end of it? Will this sort the sheep from the goats?

Severus felt miffed.

Something was missing in his life, and he couldn’t quite put a finger on what the problem was.

His wife was beautiful and attentive; his work was challenging and fulfilling; his drinks cabinet and potions store were both well stocked. What more could a man want?

Aimlessly, he wandered out into the garden and gazed in a desultory manner at his flock of gambolling, all-consuming goats.

A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. He had grown to love his girls. Running on autopilot, he counted and named them in his head. Gertrude, Grace (well named for her dainty demeanour), Georgina, Gabriella, Ginny (that still made him cringe), Gail, Geraldine, Glennis (who looked more like a Dennis), Genevieve, Gretel (what a sweet tooth she had), Glenda and... that’s who was missing. Geoffrey!

Sighing, Severus turned back to the house. Things had not been the same since Geoffrey had gone. He missed the staccato tic-tac of hooves, the soft nibble of hairy lips on his fingers and the feel of shaggy pelt as it brushed against his hand.

He pushed the memories to the back of his mind as he rummaged in the pantry for ingredients for the evening meal. Hauling out the vegetable basket, he hefted a head of cabbage and a bunch of broccoli in his hands. Geoffrey would have liked these, he mused.

His mind made up, Severus called up the stairs.

“Hermione, I’m just nipping round to Malfoy Manor to check on... Lucius.”

Without waiting for an answer, he raced out of the house, and was soon at the Malfoys’ doorstep, still clutching the vegetables.

“Ah! Severus! Lovely to see you. And so kind of you to bring us... brassicas.”

“They’re for...”

“Of course they are.”

Ursula Malfoy’s gimlet eyes glittered as her tousled head peeked around the corner, and she spotted the greens in Snape’s hand. Nimbly, she crossed the marbled foyer and quickly relieved him of his burden before giving him a whiskery kiss. With a happy sigh, she trotted off in the direction of the kitchen.

Lucius glared as Severus followed her with his eyes, an indulgent smile curving those normally compressed lips. The blond had to clear his throat a couple of times to regain Snape’s attention.

“That must have been a seriously strong charm she had on her for it still to affect you, Severus.”

“Hmm?”

Lucius rolled his eyes. “Snape!”

“Um... Yes... Lucius. You don’t mind me dropping by? I was just bringing her a... a...” Severus muttered. “You know what? I think I’d better get home.”

“Next time, come round for drinks with me, not just to bring my grandmother vegetables.”

“Tell me, Lucius, how could your family have misplaced her, so she ended up living as a goat in Aberforth’s flock?”

“You remember my parents and how they were so caught up in maintaining their perfect image? They got an interior designer in. What a drama that was. It wasn’t until after the whole manor had been redecorated then re-redecorated when Mama complained about the flashing, purple stars and rainbow unicorns in the fourth drawing room, and there had been a dispute over the payment that they discovered Grandma was missing. We just assumed she was in storage somewhere.”

“What?”

“Or something like that...”

“Your grandmother? In storage?”

“Yes...” Lucius paused. “No, you’re right, Severus. I believe that was Grandpapa’s embalmed remains. What happened to my grandmother is another story, which—”

“Malfoy! I can’t believe you airheaded purebloods. You take more care of your valuables than your relatives. I’ve cared for Geoff... Ursula more than your family did.”

“She was an animal.”

“A very smart, cute...”

“You know what gets my goat, Severus? She’s my GRAN. It’s just not right.”

“What’s really weird is that she was left to me in a will, so officially I still own her. She may be your grandmother, but legally, she is my nanny.”

Severus fixed his dark gaze on Lucius. “And if I find out she’s not getting her greens, I may have to come and reclaim her.”

As he turned on his heel, he missed Malfoy punching the air with glee.

A/N: Thanks to sunny33 and KingPhilipsWench for inspiring this literary odyssey.