Chapter Three: Lost in Shadows

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.

Many thanks to VIVAvivacious for her help as my beta and all of her input into improving this story.

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Ink-stained fingers, thoroughly-chewed bottom lip, and quills used to hold hair up in a loose bun. These were all once traits of a very bright and enthusiastic Gryffindor, now the traits of a woman who had suffered many losses and survived a war. She was a shell, dirty and broken. She had once been a girl called Hermione Granger, but now she was only that girl in name and an entirely different woman. It was a pity, but all the same, she refused to let her friends see her like she was.

There were deep, dark circles around her eyes. They were once wide, brown, and inquisitive, but they are now dull and listless. She had to use quite a lot of the limited energy she had to hold up her glamour charms whenever she visited. She loved Ron and Ginny as if they were family, make no mistake, but to see them hurt her so much, making her heart lurch and ache. They reminded her so much of Harry and the good times.

She had tucked herself away in the French countryside for the last few years, only ever venturing to the cities when she desperately needed a book she did not already have in her own huge collection. When she did that, she always went under the guise of a totally different glamour. The only one of her friends who even had the slightest clue of where she was had been Albus Dumbledore.

The wards on her house made her completely undetectable. And she liked it that way because they didn't need to know what had happened to her. She was unbearably thin and gaunt, her ribs were visible and her collarbone stood out sharp. The flesh on her was sparse indeed, and her hair, although not the bushy and unmanageable mane it had once been, had grown quite a lot longer without a haircut, and she most likely had the worst split ends.

She felt something nuzzle her leg and looked down from her parchment, smiling slightly at the sight of her silky black cat, Jupiter, pawing at her pants insistently. 'What is it boy?' she asked softly.

'Mrrrooow!' the small cat replied, rubbing his head against her.

Hermione checked the time with the clock on the mantelpiece of the fireplace, noting it was around midday. 'Oh, alright, you're hungry then, I suppose?' she asked, heading out of that room and being followed closely to the kitchen. Opening the bottom cupboard, she pulled out a small tin of cat food, she spelled it open, and up-ended the contents into the cat bowl.

'There you go, my precious one,' she said, scratching his head lightly as he bowed over the bowl to nibble up his lunch.

She left him there and returned to her work. She had spent the better part of the last six months trying to develop a cure for lycanthropy but had been unsuccessful thus far. She had been thorough with her research and notes and everything else, but nothing seemed to end with the desired results. She wouldn't be happy until she had a little to work from, but it all seemed to be fruitless. She was a certified Potions master and had been researching for three years since her graduation, but it hadn't made any huge difference to the Wizarding community.

'Don't worry, Remus,' she muttered to herself. 'I'm trying, and I will find something soon – very soon.'

Reaching up to her hair, she tugged out one of the quills, as the point of her last one had broken, and dipped it into the inkpot. She began taking down notes on the inaccuracies in her theory. There were plenty of those, but she needed to make mistakes to learn from them better later.

While she wrote, a bit of parchment on her table caught her eye again, and she read over the letter that Ginny had written her. She had received it the day before and was still extremely confused about why the redhead would write to tell her she was going on a trip when she wasn't even in the country. Perhaps she had just needed someone to vent to.

In any case, she pulled out a bit of parchment and began to write a short reply to Ginny, who obviously needed the advice.

Ginny,

Hermione

Signing with a flourish, Hermione folded the parchment up neatly and sealed it with her midnight blue wax. She pressed her seal into it and, without giving much thought to it, she reached into a bowl and plucked an owl treat from it, handing it to the chocolate-brown eagle owl on the perch beside her, patting his head.

'Good boy, Helios,' she crooned softly, tying the letter to his leg as he nibbled at the treat. 'Take that to Ginny Weasley now.'

The owl swooped out the window when Hermione opened it, and she closed it as soon as he was gone to keep the cold out. It had been snowing quite a bit lately, and she found it was too cold to keep the window open any more than she had to. Slumping back into the chair at her desk, she sighed wearily. She really needed to get more sleep than she did.

Hermione picked up her quill and began at her notes again.

An hour later, she put down her work and left the study, heading back downstairs to the kitchen to get some coffee. While she was there, she pulled down the jar of biscuits from the top of the refrigerator and took two choc-chip cookies out. Thanks to a huge growth spurt at the end of seventh year, she was able to reach the heights easily; she was about the same height Harry had been. At first, she had not liked being so tall because the rest of the girls in their year had been shorter than her. But, she had eventually grown used to being one of the taller girls to go through Hogwarts. It did have its perks, after all.

She sat at the kitchen table and sighed, biting into one of her biscuits absently. How long had it been since she visited Ron? Six months, perhaps? She shook her head. It couldn't have been that long since her last visit. She loved to see his girls and Luna. She did miss them quite a lot, but she couldn't go back there for long periods of time. That place, wherever her friends went in London or anywhere else, had always reminded her of Harry. It depressed her.

'Mrrrooow?' said a soft sound from beside her.

Hermione peeped beside her and looked down to see Jupiter peering up at her expectantly. She smiled and pulled him up into her lap as she sipped at her hot cup of coffee. She liked being here with her cat and owl. She could still contact her friends when she wanted to. She was free here.

'What do you want then, my little dear?' she asked softly, kissing his little nose and allowing him to rub his head along her cheek and purr. 'Did you just come for a cuddle, or do you want something else?'

'Meow,' he replied to her, crooning.

'Both then, I suppose,' she said when she saw him paw at her biscuit.

Deciding she didn't really need to eat the cookie anyway, and considering Jupiter had put his little paws all over it anyway, she gave it to him and set him back on the ground. He carried it away to his bowl, where he gnawed at it for a while until he had it broken up into pieces small enough to fit in his mouth.

Hermione had to admit he was remarkably smart for a cat. He was a lot smarter than Crookshanks had been, but then again, she had gotten Jupiter when he was only a new kitten; Crooks had been a lot older.

'You won't be getting my biscuit next time, little one,' she threatened as she stood and placed her mug in the sink. 'And that is a promise too.'

She walked out of the kitchen and towards her room upstairs. She would leave her notes for the time being and go for a long, hot bath. It was only four days until Christmas, and Hermione still had to make plans so she would not be forced to stay at the Burrow for longer than she had to. And she still had quite a few Christmas gifts to buy and wrap. Perhaps she would do that tomorrow...?

She slipped off her clothes that hung loosely from her thin frame. She really needed to put on some weight, too. She had surpassed thin and had gone straight to gaunt so quickly. She might make herself some dinner that night and eat the whole lot. Maybe she could keep that consistent.

For the time being, she was going to have to make herself more naturally thin and not starved. When had she begun neglecting her appearance so badly? She combed a hand through her limp, brown hair and decided it needed a good wash while she was in the shower. She didn't want to go out the next day looking grubby. Perhaps she would get a haircut while she was there?

Sighing, she closed her eyes. She would make up her mind in the morning. She just needed to rest peacefully then.

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A/N – This story has just been newly edited so that it is actually fit for reading.