Coin-Operated Boy vs. The Real Thing

Disclaimer: Thank you to those that have read and reviewed, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Much thanks to my beta: Kat

All characters belong to J.K. Rowling

The line "Sometimes taking the easy way out, is the right way out" is from the movie The Matchmaker

"Coin-Operated Boy" belongs to The Dresden Dolls

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Hermione woke up somewhat early for a person who hadn't gone to bed 'til the wee hours of the morning. What had happened in the kitchen with Snape had her staring at the ceiling for quite awhile before she had been able to go to sleep, trying to figure out why he had left. Now that she was awake, she rolled over to look at the clock, which read 10 a.m. Well, I have two options: Option 1, I can have a bit of a lie-in with that new book I got last week. Or, option 2, I can be responsible and get up and clean the house first. Then go and lie in the garden reading said new book. Hmmm, decisions, decisions. Thinking that she didn't want to possibly have to deal with the awkwardness that running into Severus, once he finally got up, could entail; Hermione picked option 2. I should be able to get the house cleaned, grab a shower and head out to the garden before he even thinks about skulking downstairs. Merlin knows I'm not sure I want to be around him after the way he kissed me last night, especially since he left. Why did he leave? Was it me? I know I'm not that experienced, but I thought from the way he kissed me..., Hermione shook her head to let the insecure thought end there. She didn't need this kind of silly love-sick girl idiocy, she had a house to clean.

Once dressed in a faded pair of jeans and a old t-shirt, Hermione rounded up all the cleaning supplies and picked a room to start in. Having decided to start in the study and fan out from there, Hermione carried what supplies she would need and then went back to the kitchen for her CD player. Since the house was so big, she, Harry, and Ron had decided long ago to shut up a large portion of the rooms and only use what they themselves needed. It was easier to keep up this way, and required no use of house-elves. Checking to make sure her CD was still in there, she turned the player on and began dusting the shelves of books that lined one of the study's walls.

Severus woke with a start as he heard a crash of piano and drums. Sweet Merlin! What is that bloody racket?! Rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm, he glanced over to the clock in his room and groaned when he read the time. He hadn't fallen asleep till after the sun had come up. Thoughts of Hermione had kept him up, not to mention he had had to deal with the pesky know-it-all as well. After he had snogged her and left before he had taken her on the kitchen table, the girl had followed him up to his rooms. It couldn't have been very long after he had kissed her, that he had heard a almost timid knock on his door followed by a very familiar voice. "Severus? Severus, I think we need to talk." We need to talk, she had said. Right. Like having a normal conversation with her was the first thing on my mind, he thought. He had refused to say anything and warded the door to make sure she couldn't sneak in after he had fallen asleep. He wouldn't have put it past the sneaky Gryffindor to try that, simply so he would have had to speak to her when he got up.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed to sit and stretch, he decided to go and see what the noise was. Surely Hermione is either still in bed or is out at some class for her studies, he assured himself as he padded to the door and down the stairs following the ruckus. Still, he had his wand drawn just in case. Some habits are hard to break, he thought with a smile. As he drew closer to where the sounds seemed to be emanating from, he began to make out words to it.

Coin-operated boy

That is why I want, a coin-operated boy

A coin-operated boy? Bloody hell, it's her again. The same piano and drums duo from last night was now being played at a very loud volume, only this time it was a different song. Should I just go back upstairs and sleep, or should I stick around and see what the message is behind this peculiar song? His lips thinned into a line as he thought, Hermione's voice already launching into the next verse.

Coin-operated boy

Not with my coin operated boy......

The music had an almost wind-up toy feel, especially when it began to almost skip like a machine would. The melody seemed to play down the impact of the words that went along to it. Bloody hell, Snape thought as he caught himself softly bobbing his head along to the piece. Deciding to be a bit braver, Snape leaned closer to the door so he was now able to see Hermione as she moved along the room, he could hear her voice take on a different lilt as the music shifted.

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener

Coin-operated boy.

Severus found himself almost sneering as he heard the word "smitten", feeling as if the girl was already asking for too much already. You already occupy too much of my thoughts. But as the song went on and she started to falter, mimicking the singer's pattern into almost fragmented thoughts and wants, he could feel himself soften as he thought about last night and how hurt her voice had sounded that he had used her and left her.

He slowly and softly pushed the door open further to watch as she did a half shuffle, between the different bookshelves and table dusting things as she went. He could already see that she had cleaned quite a bit from the shining windows to the freshly swept fire-place. He smiled as she turned her head and he caught sight of her nose with smeared with a bit of soot. She really can be too adorable sometimes...wait...did I just use the word adorable? Severus frowned at the thought as he ducked back into the hall when she turned around suddenly to toss a bit of trash into a bin.

Hermione smiled as she carelessly aimed the wadded up piece of paper. She had seen the movement from the hall and could only figure it was Severus again watching her. Him being there has to be a good sign, she thought. Maybe I'll have a repeat performance of last night even. Her eyebrows crinkled together as she thought she had caught a glimpse of him frowning, but she wasn't sure. Or maybe not...

And if I had a star to wish on

I can even take him in the bath

Both Hermione and Snape smiled as they thought of the scene that particular line painted. Severus could see in his mind the water cascading down her body, his hands following where spray of a shower might go. Hermione bit back a bit of a groan, almost as if she had been reading Snape's wandering and lusty thoughts. Gathering up the last bits of trash, she began to round up the things she would need for the parlor as the last verse played.

Coin-operated boy

That is why I want...a...coin-operated boy.

All right, Gryffindor courage, don't fail me now. Hermione took a deep breath and opened the door as the last notes of the song faded. Oh, I'm going to need a cold shower after this, she thought as she took in the sight of Snape standing there. Being as his intent had been to find the source of the noise and then leave, he hadn't bothered getting dressed when he had left his room. The light from the study showed the paleness of his body, the faint appearance of muscles and the smattering of dark chest hair that ringed his navel before disappearing into his green boxers.

Severus himself was still surprised that she had once again caught him, his boxers showing the state that the last thoughts he had been having had left him in. As Snape cleared his throat, Hermione's eyes wandered back up his face and disheveled hair. "Coin-operated boy?" Snape questioned, raising an eyebrow. Trying to act as if he were dressed in his usual billowing robes, and not standing in his boxers in front of the objection of his affection.

"Yes. A coin-operated boy. Someone that is just like a real boy, without all the complications," Hermione answered, lifting her chin slightly in defiance.

"I'm surprised you would want to take the easy way out, Miss Granger."

"Sometimes taking the easy way out is the right way out. Besides, after dealing with the real thing, a coin-operated boy would a blessing."

"Is that so? Perhaps you've just been wasting your efforts on the wrong sorts of boys...or men for that matter." Snape eyebrow raised again, as he looked thoughtfully down at her.

"It's possible. Maybe if said boys or men, would stop snogging me and then running away, I wouldn't feel the need to have a coin-operated boy," she said with a tilt of her head.

"I did not run away," Snape said with a distinct frown. "And just how many boys have you been kissing anyways?"

"None except you as of right now. And you most certainly did run away."

"Miss Granger, I can assure you that I have not, nor have I ever ran away from anything." Hermione snorted in disbelief. Severus continued, choosing to ignore her. "I was merely acting as the responsible adult that I am, and removing myself from a position where I could have taken advantage of you."

"Severus, you're acting as if I'm still a student-"

"-Technically you are," he interrupted.

"Not what I meant, and you know it. What happened last night was mutual, and I think we need to talk about it."

"Miss Granger-"

"-Hermione."

"Fine. Hermione," he said, stressing the use of her first name, "what happened last night will not happen again. I am several years older than you are and...well..." he began to fumble as he started walking back to the stairs, "...and you will just have to trust me that I only have your best interests at heart..." he finished as he turned and quickly vaulted up the stairs and closed his door.

Hermione pursed her lips together and considered going up there after him, quietly fuming at the same time. My best interests at heart?! What a load of dragon dung. And that whole line about being older, you'd think he could come up with something better than that. Deciding that since he wouldn't open the door to her last night, he most likely wouldn't open to her today, Hermione went back to her cleaning. All right, Severus, you might have gotten away this time, but next time... Hermione's thoughts trailed off as she thought of the sight of him in his boxers. Well, at least I'll have something to masturbate to, she thought with a smile.