Eleven

Blink of an Eye

Ten days passed, and the secret Potions laboratory remained empty.

Caught up in a flurry of activity assisting with the teaching of Potions, Contessa found plenty of excuses to suspend her research and was tempted to scrap her hunt for an Imperius curse-breaker after the events of the last trial.

She continued to see Severus twice a week in his quarters. They had not journeyed back and revisited his previously buried feelings for Lily Evans; instead Severus seemed content with Contessa simply being in the same room as him.

Initially, Contessa had been surprised to find she wasn't jealous after Severus's revelations of his love for Lily. But as it began to sink in, Contessa began to comprehend the intensity of his attachment to his first and only love. He had spent most of his of life in love with one woman. So powerful were his feelings that they had become a defining part of him. His love for Lily was inextricably linked to who Severus believed himself to be; he didn't know who he was without her, and he lived only to prove his self-worth to her.

Long ago, it seemed, Severus had made a pact with himself: he would avoid the pain of losing someone by choosing never to love again. And so he held on to his memory of Lily, unable to let her go.

And with that, Contessa knew all she needed to know. It seemed there was no room in Severus's heart for another woman, and whilst he continued to hold on so tightly to Lily, their friendship would never progress to something more.

No longer Occluding her emotions and for days afterwards, Contessa's heart ached as though a stone had been thrust into its centre. The constant companion of tightness in her chest had, once or twice, in the privacy of her quarters, caused tears to flow as she mourned the loss of something she'd longed for, but never actually had.

The ache soon turned to anger, which eventually found its release on her broomstick one night, flying like a shrieking banshee around Hogwarts' grounds.

Shortly afterwards her heart dropped onto a new wave of sadness as she began to understand the futility of her attraction to a man whose heart belonged to another.

But Contessa knew she couldn't run away.

She knew Severus was still there, needing her.

And she needed him too.

Although friendship was all their relationship would ever be, Contessa realised that Severus valued her greatly, and she could accept him, knowing he couldn't love again.

As her conviction became clearer, her romantic feelings started to ripple away like the tide retreating across a beach.

But the tide was leaving the coastline renewed; in its place was a shore of firm friendship and unwavering loyalty. Strengthened by the pain of grief and anger, their bond had grown robust. Contessa was glad that her unconditional acceptance of Severus came naturally, now superfluous to her hastily-made vow.

Perhaps Albus Dumbledore had known her capabilities all along.

Elsewhere in Hogwarts, however, matters were getting out of hand. With the number of students facing discipline, many of Contessa's evenings were now filled with detentions from Horace Slughorn's Potions classes, as well as her tutorials with Robert Selwyn. She was soon going to reach the point where her evenings with Severus would be threatened; she would have no good explanation for her whereabouts if Horace asked for additional favours.

Late one evening she was helping Robert pack away his potion ingredients after a successful attempt at making one of the trickier formulas from Arsenius Jigger's textbook Magical Draughts and Potions. The young Gryffindor had advanced beyond the usual level for a third year, so Contessa had decided to up the ante to gauge the boy's potential. He had not disappointed.

"You know, Robert, I think we could progress to antidotes next time," Contessa was saying as she picked up the brass scales from the workbench in the Potions office. "Strictly speaking it's not something you'd start until your fourth year, but I think you'd enjoy it."

Robert smiled. "Yeah, that'd be good, Miss," he said, trying not to sound too interested.

"How's it going with the other Gryffindors these days?"

"Could be worse, I s'pose," he replied.

Contessa usually anticipated this question would elicit a mumbled reply, but this time Robert's tone was more assured.

"Has it got a bit better?" she asked, placing the brass scales in the cupboard.

"Yeah, a bit. You see, they think I'm in detention when I'm here at night. And, well, there's some kudos for being in detention, especially if you're a Gryffindor. Or a member of Dumbledore's Army."

Contessa felt her eyebrows creeping up her head. "And you've not told them otherwise?"

"Don't see the point, Miss."

Contessa laughed. "Fair enough."

"I had to tell Professor McGonagall about it last week though, 'cos someone told her I was always in detention. She called me in to see her 'cos she didn't know anything about me being in trouble, so I explained it was just tutorials."

"Oh, it's fine. I told her you were getting extra help ages ago. She must've been concerned that no one informed the Head of House of your so-called detentions."

As they were clearing the last of the debris away, Contessa almost dropped the mortar and pestle she was holding when the door flung open unexpectedly. Robert turned around, startled, and his posture straightened immediately upon seeing the Headmaster striding into the office.

Severus's eyes glinted malevolently in the candlelight as he came to a halt beside the workbench, his billowing cloak following in close convoy. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, lending him the appearance of an upside-down bat.

Severus's pale skin, dark eyes and iniquitous manner reminded Contessa of the rumour she'd heard during her seventh year that the new Potions master was a vampire.

She suppressed a smile as she counted the numerous black buttons on the sleeves of his frock coat, until the clunking sound of winchesters being hurriedly stowed away bounced Contessa back into the present moment. She frowned as she watched Robert stuffing the bottles onto the shelves, attempting to make as fast an escape as possible under the Headmaster's stern gaze.

"Good evening, Headmaster," Contessa said with a deliberate tone of impertinence.

Severus didn't look at her and simply nodded once in acknowledgement.

Contessa placed the mortar and pestle back down on the bench and waited silently. She felt a flicker of amusement at staging their game in the presence of an innocent. She turned to see Robert hot-footing his way out of the office without a backward glance.

Contessa saw the door swinging behind the sandy-haired boy and heard the faint echo of his footsteps as he ran down the corridor. She turned to face Severus, failing to notice her tutee had left the door slightly ajar.

"That was hardly necessary," she admonished Severus.

Severus's arms remained entwined, but his shoulders dropped as he relaxed. Contessa watched distractedly as his fingers slipped under his cloak and gripped his bicep.

Perhaps her attraction had not yet left the building.

"You are forgetting that most of the students hate me; I'm merely living up to their expectations."

"And it's a stereotype to which you easily conform," she observed.

"Of course," he said with a slight air of impatience. "Remember the school must believe we're still at loggerheads."

Contessa smirked. "Yeah, well, you're not so scary to me anymore."

Severus rolled his eyes. A moment later his arms dropped to his sides, and he leaned back against the workbench.

"What brings you to the dungeons?" Contessa asked. She rested her hand on the tabletop, and her fingers nudged the cold stone of the mortar bowl.

"Oleander root."

Contessa's bemusement soon turned into curiosity. "Pardon?"

"Oleander root," Severus repeated. "It should be the next ingredient we try with Memory Potion base."

Contessa was stunned at Severus's renewed interest in potion-making after the consequences of their last endeavour. She took a moment to catch up with him.

"Don't tempt me to Summon a bluebottle," Severus mocked.

Contessa snapped her jaw shut, and despite her mouth having turned dry, she swallowed reflexively. "You're ready to try again?"

"Of course," Severus replied. "And this time it's your turn to test the potion."

"That may be, but I've no intention of taking a potion containing oleander root; it's notoriously toxic."

"Plainly you haven't given the matter enough consideration," he said. His eyes glittering as he leaned in closer. "In combination with Murtlap, we should have a viable potion."

Contessa took some time to think his theory through, reluctant to agree to something she might later regret. Eventually, she conceded, "It's a good idea."

"You sound surprised, Contessa." Severus's forehead creased as he tilted his head to one side. "Perhaps the fact that I am the master and you are the assistant momentarily evaded you?"

The teasing in his voice caused Contessa to simper, and her bottom lip grazed against her teeth as her smile became more pronounced.

Severus's cheeks rounded as he chuckled.

Neither of them heard the faint creak of the office door, and seconds too late, Contessa noticed the pointed hat of Professor McGonagall entering the room. The older witch's eyes were wide with surprise, and assessing the situation, her expression became almost feline.

In the blink of an eye Contessa's smile died, and the alteration of her countenance caused Severus's bearing to change. His lips parted into a glower, and he crossed his arms before turning to face the Transfiguration professor.

Out of the corner of her vision, Contessa saw one of Severus's eyebrows arch as he appraised the intruder. Contessa cleared her throat quietly, trying to still the sensation of her quickening heart rising into her larynx.

"Good evening, Minerva," Contessa managed, hoping to convey a mixture of welcome and unease, befitting of the charade.

"Tess," Minerva replied crisply, before addressing Severus with a nod. "Headmaster," she said askance.

"What do you want, Minerva?" said Severus, in a voice laden with acid.

Contessa tried not to wince at his hostility.

"A word with Tess, if you don't mind," Minerva replied.

"Certainly," said Severus. He made no attempt to leave the room.

Minerva eyeballed the Headmaster for five long seconds before reluctantly kowtowing to his authority and turning to face Contessa.

"It's with regard to Selwyn," Minerva began awkwardly, giving Contessa a distinct impression that the professor was doing some quick-thinking. "He's made excellent progress, and I was hoping you could open up your... tutorials... to other students."

Contessa was momentarily stumped for words, placed piggy-in-the-middle between Headmaster and Professor. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself cut off by Severus.

"It seems somewhat... inappropriate... for the Transfiguration professor to encroach upon the remit of the Potions master, Minerva. Horace is perfectly capable of deciding who should receive Potions tutorials. Besides," he continued, turning to face Contessa with a sneer, "I'm here to curtail our little upstart of a Potions Assistant's extra-curricular activities. It's high time she learned her limits and focused on her job, which she already performs with woeful inadequacy."

Contessa's jaw dropped at Severus's insult, temporarily forgetting that the slight on her character was completely in keeping with their subterfuge.

"But..." Minerva spluttered.

"No ifs, no buts, Minerva. I'm the Headmaster and I'm in charge of the staff and students at Hogwarts."

Minerva looked as though she was about to disagree, but she quickly adopted a suitably chastised demeanour and cast Contessa an apologetic look.

Contessa let out a halted breath. She smiled at Minerva before affecting a grimace at the continued presence of the Headmaster. Minerva's brow puckered as she turned on her heel and closed the door behind her.

Seconds ticked away, and Contessa listened to her heartbeat thrumming in her ears.

Headmaster and Potions Assistant remained motionless, staring at the door.

After a while, Contessa's eardrums started to burn. "What did you do that for?" she asked incredulously.

Severus unfolded his arms slowly. His chin receded into his neck, and he tilted his head towards her, affronted.

Taking another breath, Contessa steadied herself against the workbench. "You've cost Robert Selwyn his tutorials," she explained, moderating her tone.

"I won't allow the teachers to dupe you into providing extra detentions."

"How do you know that was what she was asking for?"

"I've known Minerva for a long time. She came here to ask you to supervise additional detentions; the guise of tutorials was for my benefit alone."

"And so you made the decision for me?" Contessa asked, unable to hide her disgust.

"Perhaps you have indeed forgotten your place, Contessa."

His tone was perfunctory, and Contessa faltered, knowing she had overstepped the mark.

"Robert will be upset," she said in a conciliatory voice. "It seems a shame that he'll have to suffer."

Severus shook his head intolerantly. "You shouldn't waste your time pitying the boy – he's perfectly capable of looking after himself. More to the point, you knew your evenings were unsustainable with the detentions you're providing. One less evening a week spent on tutorials will give you more free time, and we can get started on the next version of the potion."

Severus looked rather pleased with himself as he gave the latter part of his evaluation. Contessa knew he was offering a peace treaty, albeit with selfish motivations, in lieu of her diminished responsibilities. She couldn't help but smile at his disingenuous compromise because she knew it was his way of showing fondness.

Although she was disappointed for Robert, she knew the loss of his tutorials was unavoidable. At least she'd been able to help him.

Contessa turned to confront the problem which they had deliberately sidestepped.

"Do you think Minerva suspects anything?" she asked in a low voice.

Severus paused, appraising the closed door with a frown.

"I hope not."

---

Treasured in Darkness

"Letting go, it's so hard

The way it's hurting now

To get this love untied

So tough to stay with this thing

'Cos if I follow through

I face what I denied"

'Washing of the Water', Peter Gabriel

"Come on, Contessa, get on with it!"

Severus watched her slender fingers running up and down the potion flagon which rested on the coffee table in his living room.

"That's easy for you to say," Contessa replied. "You're not the one having to take it."

After a weekend spent preparing the oleander-root variant of experimental potion, the time had come to test it. Contessa was, understandably, nervous.

Severus tapped his fingertips on the table. His usual modus operandi would involve humiliating the other person into action, but ever since their experience with the last trial of the potion, Severus felt less inclined to do so.

"I'm confident the antidote will work," he said instead.

Contessa sighed resignedly. "Alright then." She picked up the bottle and swallowed half of its contents before sitting back on the sofa. She rubbed her hands against her knees whilst she waited.

Severus watched her features change into a frown.

Contessa looked up at him, perplexed. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I don't feel any different."

"That's good," Severus said. "Isn't it?"

Contessa shrugged her shoulders.

Severus retrieved his wand and pointed it directly at her. "Can you tap-dance?" he asked slyly.

"Wha..."

"Imperio."

Severus scrutinised Contessa's face for the first signs of the curse hitting home. Her temple creased, and her lips narrowed as she concentrated.

"Nope," she said eventually. "The curse found its way in, and I was able to block it."

Severus grimaced and shook his head. "I was sure this would work. How do you feel?"

"Fine, really. Just a bit more anxious than before, but that could have something to do with your veiled threat," Contessa said, smiling.

Severus couldn't believe the potion had had no effect at all. A hiss of exasperation escaped his clenched teeth.

"We're missing something," he said. "We have to be."

Contessa wrinkled her nose at his scowl. "It didn't work on me."

But Severus wasn't about to admit defeat. He knew his potion recipe couldn't have a neutral effect.

"We should give up and move on," Contessa said, dejected.

"No," he replied firmly.

Severus snatched the half-empty flagon from the table, and to Contessa's complete surprise, he dropped the remaining potion into his mouth.

The liquid tasted bitter on his tongue, and as it slithered down his throat, it burned like chilli peppers. Somewhere deep in his abdomen, a vacuum began to build. It was as if something had sucked all the air out and left nothing but a wide, empty hole.

"Severus, what's the matter?"

Contessa's concerned voiced penetrated the vacuity, and Severus noticed her reaching inside her robes for the antidote.

"No," he instructed her. "No antidote. If the potion affects me differently we should study the outcome and learn from it. Cast the Imperius Curse now."

Contessa did as she was told, but when the curse penetrated Severus's mind he deflected it with ease. He huffed and shook his head, communicating the potion's failure.

The edges of the vacuum had now become palpable, eating away at Severus's insides as if trying to escape from his body. His heart seemed to be sinking slowly towards the void, and the resulting ache gnawed at his sternum.

He was aware that Contessa was still with him, and he was curious to know why the potion would affect him in a different way. His rational mind prepared itself for another sojourn into uncharted territory.

With Contessa's steady presence keeping him safe, Severus allowed himself to embrace the sensations in his body and the memories they evoked.

He found himself taken back to the windswept hilltop, one cold winter's night, long ago. It was the night he'd asked for Dumbledore's help to keep Lily safe from the Dark Lord. Shivering, he could hear Dumbledore's voice, scathing and filled with contempt.

Contessa's voice drifted into Severus's awareness.

"Can you hear me?"

This time it was easier for him to speak. "I can."

"What's happening?"

"It's another memory."

There was a long pause, then Contessa's voice, full of concern. "I still have the antidote."

"I'm alright."

"Where are you?"

"With Dumbledore."

The icy wind had been stilled by a flick of Dumbledore's wand, and Severus stood, disarmed and vulnerable, in the presence of the Headmaster.

"What's he saying?"

"He's... suggesting... if Lily means so much to me... I should ask the Dark Lord to spare her... in exchange for her son."

Contessa didn't reply straight away, and Severus felt a nauseous swirl of disorientation, mingled with his recollection of terror and desperation.

Then her voice, calm and clear, rang like a bell resonating warmly through the freezing void. "How do you feel when you hear him say that?"

Severus's stomach swooped, and the back of his neck prickled with hot electricity. "I'm frantic, as though sand is slipping through my fingers. I've done everything I can to protect Lily, but I must do more. I know Dumbledore can help, and it kills me to have to ask him, to expose myself. But I'm beyond caring about the risk and the shame – Lily is all that matters. It's my fault she's in danger. It's because of me that the Dark Lord is hunting her down."

The vacuum pressed its icy extent further into Severus's chest, causing a new wave of anxiety.

"You're desperate to protect Lily, willing to risk everything to keep her safe."

"Yes. But when I tell Dumbledore I've already requested the Dark Lord's mercy for Lily, he says I... disgust him."

"How do you feel?"

Severus's stomach cramped. "Ashamed."

The word hung in the air like a spectre, and Severus fought the urge to shrink away. He opened his eyes and found Contessa's compassionate gaze, unfailing and resolute.

For one long, bizarre moment, Severus couldn't understand why this admission had not disgusted her, too. Surely he was a contemptible creature, unworthy of her acceptance? Had he not broken every taboo with the intensity of his love for Lily Evans? Was he not selfish, amoral and undeserving?

But there in front of his eyes was Contessa, unwavering, kind and accepting. Severus was stunned.

"You felt ashamed. You loved Lily and you wanted to protect her."

"She was all that mattered to me," he continued, heartened. "I asked for amnesty for Lily, but I knew the plan wasn't foolproof; there was a high probability the Dark Lord would kill her, regardless. I couldn't bear to lose her or be the one responsible her death. If I hadn't heard Trelawney's prophecy, if I hadn't reported all I'd heard to the Dark Lord, Lily might still be alive today."

"You feel guilty. You jeopardised Lily's safety unwittingly – you didn't know."

"I should have known, should've seen the consequences..."

"You blame yourself for her death."

"I am to blame." The vacuum in his gut seemed to come to a halt. His heart balanced precariously above the cavernous void, throbbing as it pressed into his ribcage. If he let the feeling escape, it seemed his heart would be lost forever, consumed by the black hole within. It was safer, then, to stay here in uneasy equilibrium, than risk succumbing to the dark depths of despair.

"You say you are to blame, even though she wasn't killed by your hand."

Severus swallowed reluctantly. "Not by my hand, no," he said through gritted teeth. "But if it were not for me, she'd still be alive."

"And if she were still alive...?"

"She'd be with that imbecile, Potter." Severus noticed his eyelids were very warm as he closed them. Warm and dry.

"She'd be with someone else."

Bitterness clawed at Severus's throat. "With her husband and her family, probably wouldn't even think about me – forgotten my very existence."

"What do you want to say to her, Severus?"

Severus opened his eyes again. It hadn't occurred to him that there might be something he wanted to say. And now that there was a chance to say something – anything – countless feelings jostled for position. Somehow, inexplicably, words found their way out of his mouth.

"I'd say I'm sorry. Sorry for not being the man she wanted me to be." He paused as a red-hot serpent coiled itself around his spine, and his remorse faded slightly. "I could have been a better man if she'd given me a second chance. Instead I was forced out into the cold, and I've languished there for over twenty years, wishing I had died instead of her."

"You've lived your life trying to say you're sorry, and you've suppressed your anger after being abandoned by the woman you loved."

Severus's bottom lip pressed into his chin as the beginnings of a sob formed in his throat. His eyes watered, threatening tears, but he willed himself not to cry. Something he heard in Contessa's words provoked a sense of futility, and for the first time it seemed that living a life of atonement was folly.

But Severus wasn't quite ready to concede that. He lived for Lily; she defined him to his very core, and he couldn't imagine being himself without her. He resolved he would make it up to her by doing what needed to be done; Severus could no longer protect her son, but he could ensure Harry Potter received all the information entrusted to him by Dumbledore. If it was the last thing he did.

And, perhaps, when he did, he might be able to forgive himself.

Contessa's bluish-grey eyes met him across the divide, and Severus marvelled at her ability to walk alongside and accept him so completely, knowing some of his deepest flaws and his darkest, weakest emotions. It was as if she didn't need him to be anything more than everything he already was.

He supposed it was the unconditional vow she had taken that helped him feel safe and, in a new and strange way, loved.

Somehow it seemed unreal, this sense of being cared for and treasured in darkness. Suddenly Contessa was like a precious stone unearthed before his very eyes.

He might have to consider thanking Dumbledore for finding him this gift. Severus would not have known to look for her or believed such a person existed.

There was something different about Contessa, he realised. As with Lily, he shared a friendship with her, greater than any bond previously experienced. And yet somehow, when he was with Contessa, Severus knew he could be himself. Whatever he was, she was okay with. She knew he was a Death Eater, knew he loved the Dark Arts, knew he was bitter and twisted, preferred to be alone, loved another woman to the point of self destruction... All these things Contessa knew. And she was still there, steadfast, resolute and loyal.

It was something he had never encountered before, and now her acceptance had leaked through into his perception, he realised that Contessa treasured him in a way which Lily never had.

Here was a woman, sitting opposite him, her attention fixed solely upon him, offering him a connection he never thought possible.

All of a sudden, Severus's broken soul felt cherished and valued.

The vacuum in his abdomen filled with warmth and... another feeling... one he recognised but hadn't allowed himself to feel for such a very long time.

Severus couldn't bring himself to say the words in his head, but the warm and tender ache in his heart soothed his remaining doubts. It was as though he had a chance to start anew, to live his life differently. To free himself from the chains he had worn for so many years.

With a start, he realised they had been sitting in silence for almost half an hour. He shifted on the sofa, forcing blood to move through his immobile limbs.

Knowing he could not verbalise the revelation of his feelings for Contessa, Severus needed to switch the focus elsewhere. It was too soon to make any sort of admission to her, too uncomfortable, too dangerous. He racked his brain for the last words they had spoken.

Of course.

They had been about his remorse for his part in Lily's death.

That moment seemed an eternity ago.

"I've made a decision," Severus said.

"You have?"

"I know what I need to do to put things right."

Contessa leaned forward and reached out for his clasped hands. She placed warm hands on top of his and squeezed gently. He allowed this contact for a moment, before pulling away.

"Why do you think the potion affected me differently?" he asked. The tone of his voice signalled a wish to conclude the conversation.

"I'm not sure," Contessa replied, one hand resting now upon her knee, the other sweeping back the wavy brown hair falling across her shoulders. "These last two attempts were based on Memory Potion and seemed to unlock suppressed feelings. Perhaps I didn't have the same repressed emotions to release, so there's been no effect on me."

It was conceivable. Severus sat back in his seat, altering his posture to indicate his wish for her to leave.

Wordlessly, Contessa stood up and padded softly to the door. She placed her hand upon the doorknob.

"Tess," Severus called across the room.

Her name tingled slightly on his tongue, and he watched a small smile curl around her mouth.

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

She nodded once, wished him goodnight and left him on his own again, swimming in a warm pool, out from which he never wanted to climb.

---

Storm Clouds Gather

"Tess."

The sound of Horace Slughorn's voice made Contessa jump in her seat. So engrossed had she been in her thoughts, she hadn't heard the door to the Potions office open or the professor's footsteps as he crossed the room.

Red ink from her quill had dropped in blotches upon the parchment she was marking, and the nib had dried completely. She felt her cheeks burning as she hurriedly withdrew her wand and Tergeo'd the spilt ink from the first year's homework.

"Horace, good morning," she said, clearing a frog from her throat. "Sorry, I was miles away."

"My apologies for interrupting," he replied genially. "You seemed in a wonderful daydream."

Contessa smiled bashfully. She had been rather preoccupied with thoughts of Severus over the last few days, fascinated by how much he had loosened up in her presence and other subtler changes in his demeanour.

It seemed as though she'd swum into Severus's shore and was walking along the beach, feeling the warm sand beneath her toes for the first time. She felt privileged that she'd been shown things which no one else had seen.

However, Contessa still had a sense of the unspoken; there was much she didn't yet know. And she was also aware of other walls standing in her way, preventing her from moving further inland.

But she knew Severus trusted her and felt comfortable with her. It was true he'd made some dubious choices in his life and had done some terrible things, but as he revealed more of his true nature, Contessa found it easier to understand him and keep her unconditional vow.

And as her amorous feelings for Severus continued to disperse, she was relieved her confusion had finally passed.

"I need to talk to you about Potions detentions," Horace said earnestly, taking a seat on the stool beside her. He ran his palms over his bald head.

"I was wondering how much longer the status quo could continue," she replied.

"Not much longer," Horace said regretfully. "There aren't too many problems with my Slytherins – most of them are keeping their heads down – but the other Houses are in something of a quandary. Ever since the teachers started carrying out extra night-time rounds, they've struggled to provide enough detention time. Minerva's been hit worst, what with all those Gryffindors in the DA. It's bad enough that the Carrows are breathing down our necks, telling us our punishments are ineffective. I fear storm clouds are gathering all around us."

"What can I do to help?"

"Well," Horace said, licking his lips in anticipation, "I was going to suggest you hand the Potions marking back to me. It'll give you a bit of time to yourself during the day, and then in the evenings you can supervise detentions en masse for the less serious offenders. That way the professors can concentrate on teaching and holding detentions for the main culprits."

"So, I'd have a mixed bag of Houses and years each evening."

Horace grimaced slightly. "I know it's a lot to ask of you, Tess."

"No, it's OK. I'll have to talk to Filch about it; I can probably glean some ideas from him. What about the Headmaster?"

"I'll run it past him first," Horace said. "I don't want to get you into trouble again."

"Oh, don't worry about me; Snape's perfectly capable of finding his own excuses." Contessa's rehearsed reply reminded her of her commitment to see Severus twice a week. "I'll have to finish by eight o'clock a couple of nights a week, but I could make myself available at weekends."

"Thanks, Tess. It's always good to have a few options."

"When do I start?"

"If I can gain the Headmaster's approval, could you start tonight?" Horace's smile held a silent plea.

Contessa looked at him quizzically. "Has something happened today?"

"Something happens every day. But today the balance tipped. I don't know how much longer we can hold back the tide."

---

"Sorry I'm late," Contessa said as she stepped through the Floo Network into Severus's quarters one day later. It was Friday night, and she was half an hour behind schedule. "I had some problems controlling a bunch of fifth-year girls – practically had to stop them clawing each other's eyes out in detention."

"Gryffindors or Slytherins?" Severus asked.

"Both," Contessa groaned. "The Slytherins are being provoked to the point of retaliation, and when they snap all hell lets loose. I don't think pooling detentions is going to work – tension is high and tempers are frayed – it's too much for one person to handle alone."

Contessa sat down and watched Severus rub his forehead irritably.

"I don't have any other options... or, at least, not one that I'm willing to give serious consideration. The Carrows have been very vocal in their suggestions, none of which I care to entertain."

"You'll have to make a decision soon; otherwise your leadership will appear weak. You don't want the Carrows to usurp you."

"I know." Severus sighed. "I wish Potter would get a move on. I fear all that sleeping outdoors has addled his puny brain."

"Have you had any news from them?"

"Nothing since the close scrape at Xenophilius Lovegood's home. Phineas says they're still camping, he's heard them talking about Beedle the Bard, of all things." Severus rolled his eyes.

Contessa understood why Severus maligned Harry Potter, but that didn't mean she felt the need to participate.

A squeaking pop heralded the arrival of Binky the house-elf.

Smiling exuberantly, he presented them with a large bowl of strawberries and a chilled bottle of champagne. From behind his back the elf withdrew a heart-shaped box of chocolates which he placed down upon the coffee table in front of Contessa.

Her eyes whipped up to meet Severus's. "What's all this?" she asked him worriedly.

Severus, uncharacteristically, appeared flustered. "I was just about to ask the same question..."

Binky shrank a little under the Headmaster's black stare. "Binky thought Master and Mistress would enjoy an early Valentine's celebration... seeing as their regular evenings won't overlap."

Contessa fought back a chuckle and watched a symphony of emotions flicker across Severus's countenance. He quickly settled on embarrassment.

"Good thinking, Binky," Contessa said kindly, trying to ease the tension. "After all, we do have a charade to maintain."

Binky appeared relieved. "Thank you, Miss."

The elf popped the cork on the bottle of champagne, bowed, and disappeared abruptly, leaving Severus gawking at the ridiculous spread of food and drink.

"I'd forgotten it's Saint Valentine's Day tomorrow," Contessa said conversationally, picking up the bottle and pouring bubbling champagne into two crystal flutes. She held one out for Severus and tapped her glass against his, listening appreciatively to the resonant tone of crystal.

Severus remained silent, seeming more occupied by the crackling fire in the hearth than the luxurious treats laid out before him. So excessive was his attention that Contessa didn't speak again. She wondered how Severus felt about Valentine's Day, given his unrequited love for Lily Evans. She supposed it was another notable date he would much sooner forget.

A loud gong bounced them both from their respective reveries. Contessa's heart lurched, realising the Doorbell Charm signalled the imminent arrival of the Carrows.

For one brief, frightened moment, Contessa noticed it was Severus who had frozen this time.

She stood up quickly and held out her hand. Startled, Severus took it, and Contessa dragged him to his feet. They didn't have much time, and he seemed shaken and unprepared. She had to push him towards the fireplace to spur him into action.

"Come on, Severus, we've planned for this," she urged him. He continued to look bewildered. "On the floor!" she commanded, panic starting to edge her voice.

Severus nodded jerkily and dropped to the floor, lying down on the hearth rug and starting to unbutton his shirt. Contessa picked up the champagne glasses and strawberries to place them on the floor next to Severus. Finally, kneeling down beside him, she Transfigured her jumper into a silk blouse.

She noticed the black fronds of Severus's hair splayed out on the floor and Accio'd a cushion from the sofa, tucking it gently under his head. Contessa could hear the sound of the Carrows' footsteps on the stairway.

"Are you ready?" she asked anxiously.

He nodded, jaw taut and gaze fixed on the ceiling.

Carefully, Contessa straddled his waist and selected a large strawberry from the bowl near Severus's head. His expression was completely unreadable, and it did nothing to quell her nerves.

A couple of months ago she might have relished this opportunity, but now their relationship had transcended, the situation felt entirely incongruous. And perhaps even slightly disrespectful.

It pained her to notice Severus's mask-like face concealing his discomfort, and she could only imagine how difficult intimacy with another woman must be for him.

Contessa wilfully forced the last vestiges of romance and attraction aside, hoping to avoid experiencing a repeated sting of rejection. Her awkwardness was heightened by the thought of the Carrows bursting through the door at any moment, and Contessa closed her eyes briefly to calm her unease. What she was about to do would require copious amounts of self-control, and she mentally chanted a mantra to focus her thoughts.

She opened her eyes again and looked down at the pale skin of Severus's torso. His relatively hairless chest rose and fell in staccato bursts, and she noticed his lips pressed tightly together. Bemused, Contessa placed her hands on the warm skin of his chest, and he recoiled momentarily. Clearly, this was going to be harder for him than she'd thought.

Resolving to minimise his distress, Contessa leaned forwards, brushing past his chest and steadying herself with one hand on the floor. In her other hand she held the strawberry, suspended above Severus's mouth.

His breath was warm on her neck as her hair fell forwards, screening her from the doorway.

A brusque knock made them both jump.

Severus's ebony gaze met hers in wordless enquiry.

Contessa nodded immediately.

Across the room, Severus called, "Come in."

---

Turn of the Tide

The handle turned, and the door creaked open.

Severus saw the booted foot of Amycus Carrow stepping into the room and heard the gabbling tones of his sister, Alecto, as she pushed her way through the entrance.

A moment later Severus felt Contessa's warm fingers wrap around his jaw. She turned his head, forcing his gaze to meet hers again; her face, her lips, mere inches from his.

"Open your mouth," she whispered.

Severus noticed his heart racing, and he complied without thinking.

Contessa placed the succulent end of the strawberry between his teeth. Her warm breath stroked his cheek as she laughed gently. Severus's senses came alive as he took a bite of the red fruit, the juicy flesh melting sensuously on his tongue, contemporaneously sweet and tart. He closed his eyes as he chewed and swallowed, luxuriating in the sensations enveloping him.

Severus felt the soft warmth of Contessa's weight above him, the tickle of her cascading hair on his neck and shoulders, the nearness of her face and the flow of her breathing.

When he opened his eyes again, he was met by two oceans of cerulean blue, shining with reflected sunlight.

She blinked, and the connection severed.

Just as Severus began to regain his internal locus, Contessa dipped her head and brushed her lips against his neck. Sparks of tingling current erupted down his spine as she nibbled delicately on his collarbone. A minute arch in the crook of his back caused his chest to rise, pushing Contessa's moist lips onto his skin.

The sensation was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, so innocent in comparison to his previous encounters with women, yet somehow more electrifying and erotic. Somewhere, in the dampened-down recess of his thoughts, he wondered how that could be possible.

It was only when Amycus spoke that Severus realised he had stopped breathing.

"Evenin', Snape," the Death Eater grunted. "What's all this?" he asked, pointing at the champagne bottle and the box of chocolates on the coffee table.

"Ain't it a bit early for Valentine's Day?" Alecto chimed.

Severus forced his brain into action, trying to ignore the tickle of Contessa's hair as she worked her way slowly down his chest. He noticed her mouth was no longer making contact with flesh; she was hiding from the Carrows behind the shield of her hair.

Instinctively, his hand reached out for Contessa, and his fingers slid into her tresses, pulling the curtain away from her face. The loss of her safeguard caused her to look up, startled. Before he even knew what he was doing, Severus's thumb was stroking her bottom lip, which he noticed was trembling slightly under his caress. He felt a heady rush of power.

Contessa responded in one smooth movement, sliding her leg to one side and moving to lie down beside him. Her back was towards the Carrows as she refocused her attention to his torso, kissing his ribcage with her mouth, followed soon after by the warm flick of her tongue.

Severus was suddenly grateful she had dismounted before he disgraced himself.

"We've started a little early, that's all," Severus said, noticing his voice was husky and deep. "We intend to make a weekend of it."

He felt Contessa's hot breath against his stomach as she paused. The sensation was exquisite.

"Well," Alecto said gruffly, "What we've got to discuss won't wait 'til Monday, Snape."

"Surely, Alecto, school matters will keep until morning?" Severus replied, realising just how much he wanted the Carrows to leave.

With a jolt, he noticed Contessa lips had travelled further south than either of them had intended; they hadn't planned anything beyond this point in the charade. His elbow nudged the cool glass bowl on the floor beside him.

Severus plucked another strawberry and reached out for Contessa. His fingers felt the warmth of her scalp as he wrapped them around the back of her neck. As he pulled her towards him, the chain around her neck slipped, and the Tiger's Eye ring fell from underneath her blouse, landing on the exposed skin of his torso.

The silver band tingled as it dragged against Severus's chest, and suddenly Contessa's thoughts rang simultaneously through his mind.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Her fear of failure crashed through Severus's body, and he knew, indisputably, that he had voyaged unintentionally into Contessa's mind.

When the ring left his skin it was as though he had been hit in the face with a cold, hard slap. An icy shiver descended his spine, and he sobered instantly.

Then a vice of iron tightened around his chest: he had been a fool to think she might return his feelings.

The muscles of his jaw tightened as he offered the strawberry to Contessa. She stared, wide-eyed, for a moment, then opened her mouth timidly.

Severus smiled nastily when he whisked the fruit away at the last second, stuffing it smartly into his mouth.

This time he tasted nothing.

He pushed Contessa away, sat up quickly and hoisted himself to his feet. Severus half-buttoned up his shirt and offered his hand out to Contessa as if she were an afterthought. Appearing disconcerted, she grasped his hand and followed him to the sofa. As he fixed the last button, he felt Contessa's hands slide around his waist. He forced himself to shake off the sensation, reminding himself it was merely pretence.

He slouched to a sitting position and patted his lap, signalling for Contessa to join him. She reclined on the sofa, lying down on her back with her head resting in his lap. Severus didn't look at her.

"Pass me that bowl, will you, Amycus?" he said lazily.

Amycus huffed as he reached down to collect the strawberries and plonked the glass bowl on the coffee table in front of Severus.

The two Death Eaters sat themselves down on the opposing sofa. Alecto lifted the lid from the box of chocolates and helped herself to a truffle.

Severus leaned forwards and chose a small strawberry from the bowl. He dangled the red fruit above Contessa's nose for a few seconds, before he let her bite into it with her teeth.

"What's all this about then?" Severus asked Amycus, with tones of intolerance and boredom.

Amycus was poised to speak but was superseded by his sister.

"It's partly about that woman lying on your lap," Alecto said, speaking through a mouthful of melted chocolate.

As the uncouth mastication of the truffle continued, Severus fought the urge to ram another chocolate down her throat.

"Oh, really?" he said.

"The time's come for changes at Hogwarts," Amycus said abruptly. "Discipline ain't keepin' the kids in line anymore. The problem needs sortin' once and for all."

"I would agree discipline can sometimes lack cohesiveness," Severus replied, hoping to throw Amycus off track. "But individual teachers are responsible for punishments – it's one of the many Hogwarts traditions we undertook to uphold."

"Snape," Alecto said, with a sneer of impatience. "The previous Headmaster was a Muggle-loving traitor. We've been here long enough to start makin' changes, it's time we ditched Dumby's old ways and made up our own. If we don't get to grips with the kids, there won't be a school left to run."

Alecto turned her attention to Contessa, who froze in Severus's lap. "Your bit-on-the-side Potions Assistant is providin' a soft option for the troublemakers," Alecto continued. "That punishment's nowhere near enough for the likes of Longbottom and Weasley. Penalties should be harsher. We can't let them little shits take over Hogwarts."

"Marchbanks is perfectly capable of meting out appropriate punishment," Severus countered.

Alecto smirked. "Are you sayin' she'd use the Cruciatus Curse on that runt, Longbottom?"

Severus felt Contessa's shoulders tensing against his thigh. His heart skipped a beat when her lips parted, and she inhaled a slight gasp. Quickly, he reached for another strawberry and placed it neatly in her mouth.

"The Cruciatus Curse is not going to be used as a standard punishment by any of the professors," Severus said. "They will never agree."

"That's why you need to hand over control of discipline to us, Snape," Alecto manoeuvred. "We'll be firm and consistent. It's the only way you'll control the ringleaders of Dumbledore's Army."

Severus knew Alecto had backed him into a corner. "I'll think about it," he said after a short while.

"What's there to think about? Things are already out of hand."

"There might be another solution."

Alecto hissed snidely as she shook her head. "Happen I'll see what the Dark Lord thinks?"

Her words provoked a stab of pain, as if Severus had been shot in the abdomen. He knew where Alecto was leading, and he knew couldn't afford to follow. Severus couldn't hold back the turn of the tide; his indecisiveness would ensure his swift demise.

"The Dark Lord would not wish to be consulted on a matter this small," he said finally. "I shall announce to the school, presently, that Professors Carrow are to be placed in charge of discipline." The words choked in his throat with a swirl of acid.

"A wise move," Alecto mewed.

"Leave it to us, Snape. We'll have them kids sorted out in no time at all," Alecto affirmed.

Severus shuddered at the thought.

"We'll let yeh get on with yeh romantic evening, then," Amycus said, grunting as he stood up. The Death Eater offered out his hand to Severus, inviting a hand shake.

Severus pretended not to notice and turned his attention to Contessa, rigid and pale on his lap. He ran another strawberry against her cheek until it rested on her lips.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched the Carrows leave the room and the door closing behind them.

Contessa pushed away the strawberry and sprang immediately to a sitting position, resting with one leg wrapped underneath her. The change in posture flushed her face, long hair tumbled across her shoulders, and her bottom lip quivered.

Such body language could have been construed as attraction or ardour, but Severus knew it was neither. More likely it was pity. And that was the last thing he wanted from her.

"Severus," she said softly, "I'm so sorry – I think I made the whole thing worse. If I hadn't agreed to Horace's request..."

"No apology necessary, Contessa," he said coldly.

Severus pulsed with satisfaction when he noticed her flinch at the renewed use of her birth name. The feeling was quickly replaced by a ripple of shame.

He needed her to leave before he betrayed his true feelings. Before he made a fool of himself. He wasn't about to be stung by unrequited love for a second time in his life.

"You should go," he said stiffly.

Contessa sat, quietly stunned.

When she reached out to touch his hand, he felt the warmth of her soft skin and he almost faltered.

"Go," he said more firmly.

Her hand snatched away, and he watched her uncoil her legs and rise up to stand. She lingered for a moment, and Severus could feel her eyes burning through his curtains of black hair, seeking contact.

He retrieved his wand and cast a charm past her, opening the door ready for her departure. He continued to stare dead-ahead until she turned to leave.

"I'll be back on Saturday night, then," she said sadly.

Severus twitched.

"We have an appearance to maintain," Contessa explained.

Severus didn't reply. He wished he were a million miles away from her.

He heard the latch snap shut as Contessa left his quarters.

---

A Fiercer Sea

Professor Binns floated into the front-row seat next to Contessa as she waited for the staff meeting to convene. The arrival of the ghostly History of Magic professor sent an icy shudder down her spine.

She looked around the crowded staffroom, noticing that most of the teachers had now assembled, awaiting the presence of the Headmaster.

It was the Saturday afternoon of Saint Valentine's Day, and the room was filled with hushed mutterings and general unrest. Despite the presence of the Carrows at the top end of the room ensuring effective crowd-control, Contessa was aware of the insistent tapping of Madam Hooch's boots on the marble floor and the low, growling sighs of Hagrid, who was sitting on the back row next to the centaur, Firenze.

Contessa had arrived in the nick of time, having spent the afternoon trying to track down Severus. Dumbledore's portrait had told her the Headmaster had gone for a walk in the castle grounds, but no matter where Contessa looked, Severus was nowhere to be found.

Increasingly concerned, she had tried to contact him using her Tiger's Eye ring, knowing the metal would turn cold against his skin. Severus had failed to respond.

Now she was sitting in the staffroom, crossing and uncrossing her legs, awaiting the Headmaster's arrival with as much trepidation as the rest of the staff.

The black iron latch of the door ground open and everyone turned around in their seats, only to see a flustered-looking Aurora Sinistra hurrying into the room. She spotted the only remaining chair next to Contessa and rushed forward, slightly out-of-breath.

Aurora was about a decade older than Contessa. The Astronomy professor settled down in her seat, adjusted her flowing, midnight-blue robes and smoothed an errant hair back into place. The professor always wore her black hair pinned tightly away from her face, and Contessa noticed it was starting to show the first signs of grey.

"Did I miss anything?" Aurora asked her anxiously.

"No," Contessa reassured. "No sign of him yet, either."

"What's it all about then?"

Contessa shrugged. "No one knows. We all received an owl this morning – no indication what he wants us for, except that it's urgent."

"What could be so urgent that it warrants an interruption on Valentine's weekend?" Aurora asked with a hint of scorn. She looked towards the Carrows, standing like squat and ugly Grim Reapers. "I had plans today! I had to Apparate back here from Paris – Friedrich was not at all pleased."

It was only as Aurora finished her sentence that Contessa noticed the room had hushed unexpectedly. Behind the Astronomy professor, the black, bat-like form of Severus Snape stood with his arms folded and one eyebrow arched.

He didn't need to say a word.

Immediately, the two women straightened in their seats and looked forward, silently castigated.

Severus strode to the top end of the staffroom and turned swiftly on his heel, affecting a stance which reminded Contessa of her once-hated Potions master surveying his students with disdain. His proximity caused her an unexpected ripple of unease, and she knew, undeniably, they now sailed on a fiercer sea.

"You will no doubt be aware," he began, without greeting or preamble, "that discipline at Hogwarts is failing, and the pupils' increasingly feral behaviour is preventing the delivery of an adequate education."

Contessa's heart chilled, filled with cubes of ice pressing into her chest. Surely he wasn't going to announce it here... during Valentine's weekend?

"After due consideration, I have decided to place the Professors Carrow in charge of discipline at Hogwarts."

The sound of china shattering on the floor caused everyone to turn around. Sybill Trelawney's teacup had slipped from her grasp and shards were ricocheting across the room. Tea-leaves scattered, staining the hem of Professor McGonagall's robes.

The shock of the Headmaster's announcement rendered the audience momentarily speechless. After a few moments of frantic glances, all eyes fixed upon Severus again. Contessa could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.

"You will, therefore, tell your students to attend the Carrows' office in the dungeons at eight o'clock prompt for all detentions. The Carrows will decide on the appropriate punishment for their misdemeanours."

Finally, someone in the room found their voice. Unsurprisingly, it was Minerva McGonagall.

"This is preposterous! Surely we, as professors of this school, should have a say in the way our pupils are disciplined!" Her voice increased in volume and pitch as she spoke.

"You've had your say for far too long, Minerva. The old methods are ineffective; behaviour has spiralled out of control," Severus said, his tone non-negotiable.

"I'm sure that, with renewed effort, the staff can work together to overcome the problems," Minerva said with forced calm. "There is no need for drastic action."

There was a loud murmur of assent across the staffroom, and Severus's gaze followed its progress through the audience. A hard lump lodged in Contessa's throat.

"It's too late," he stated. "There is no point locking the stable door after the horse has bolted. It's time for the Headmaster to take decisive action in the school's best interests."

Aurora shuffled in her seat, breathing into Contessa's ear, "In the best interests of You Know Who, more like."

For the first time since he had entered the room, Severus looked directly at Contessa. It was as if a lightning bolt had struck her. He glowered and looked sharply away.

"And what do the board of governors have to say about this decision?" Minerva asked.

"I met with them this morning," Severus replied. "I have their full support."

Aurora cast Contessa a suspicious look. It was clear they both knew how that agreement had been reached.

"No further questions?" Severus said abruptly. "Good. I shall announce the decision in the Great Hall at dinner. I expect you to demonstrate your co-operation and loyalty tonight."

For a few seconds, the teachers sat in stunned silence. Severus stared coldly at the staff, wordlessly communicating the end of the meeting.

Slowly, chairs started to scrape on the marble floor, and the teachers shuffled their way out of the staffroom.

Sitting on the front row, Aurora and Contessa waited as the others filed out, watching Professor Binns drifting airborne towards the door. Contessa decided her best chance was to wait until everyone had departed and speak to Severus alone.

Discernibly shivering, Aurora stood up. "What do you make of all that?" she asked Contessa.

"I don't..."

"Professor Sinistra," Severus's harsh voice cut through the air. "A word, please."

Aurora cringed. Contessa threw her a look of concern.

"I'll be fine," Aurora mouthed quietly.

Contessa nodded and then attempted to make eye contact with Severus, but he was still refusing to meet her gaze. Contessa's stomach knotted in a slow, nauseating pulse.

"Go!" Aurora hurried her.

Reluctantly, Contessa left the room and lingered in the hallway outside the staffroom. The two stone gargoyles above the entrance peered at her inquisitively as she waited for Severus.

After less than a minute, the doors opened and the Astronomy professor stepped into the corridor. Her firmly-set jaw eased into a smile when she saw Contessa.

"Tess, it's so kind of you to wait for me..."

"I..."

"... but I really can look after myself – that overgrown bat doesn't scare me."

"Is he...?"

"Gone. Took the Floo out of the staffroom. Told me he expected my presence in the Great Hall for dinner. Miserable sod. I'll sneak out later..."

Contessa opened her mouth to speak and quickly closed it again.

"No need to say anything – we'll make the best of the situation, Tess. The Carrows won't be getting their claws into any of my students." Aurora placed her arm around Contessa's shoulder and guided her away from the staffroom. "Besides, no need to look so glum; you'll have a few spare evenings now. We can spend some time together on the Astronomy Tower. I'll be glad of your company for my observations. Did you know next week there'll be a new moon next to Saturn in the constellation Pisces?"

Contessa forced a smile and followed Aurora dolefully, listening to her plans for their telescopes.

It seemed Severus was avoiding her.

And she had no idea why.