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AN: Written for the "storage cupboard" challenge on GS100.

It started with a toothbrush. A small concession, he felt, and one that she found important. Anyway, the toothbrush was a small price to pay for a minty-breathed, cavity-free lover, and so he had only bristled slightly at its presence next to his sink.

When he opened his underwear drawer to find several scraps of lace and silk that were most certainly not his, he had no objection. They took up little space and provided tactile enhancement for any pre-slumber onanation.

But this, he thought as he stared into the bathroom cupboard, was an invasion not to be silently tolerated.

“Hermione!”

“Wha?” Severus was shouting about something, and it was half-eight in the morning. Hermione rolled over and blinked at the doorway, which framed Severus wearing pants and a scowl.

“What is it?” She sat up, wrapping her arms around the duvet and resting her not-yet-caffeinated head on them.

“Curling iron! Mango-vanilla shower gel! Tampons!”

“Your Christmas list?”

“My bathroom cupboard!”

“For fuck's sake…” She rubbed her eyes. “All right, I’m sorry. But I spend so much time here, love; I don’t want to be caught unprepared.”

He glared. She smiled. “Come back to bed, you territorial bastard.”

She won.