Yule Entry
Chapter 2 of 9
peppermintAnd why do I never get the presents I want?
ReviewedDear Diary,
Yule is upon us. The season of giving.
I never get what I want. Father Christmas put me on the naughty list a long time ago, and I've never been able to move off it. The whole declaring war on the Wizarding world and hunting down innocent babies apparently pissed him off. Who knew? It's not like he's perfect, making those elves slave away to make toys for all the children of the world. Hypocritical Muggle-loving toerag.
My Death Eaters like to throw a little party every year with titbits, cocktails, and a gift exchange. They never ask me to participate in the gift exchange; they all just bring me something opulent and tacky. I tried telling Lucius that I wanted a pair of Hippogriff slippers a couple of years ago, but he just laughed and said, "Oh, good one, my Lord." It bloody well wasn't a joke! My feet get very cold, especially on these ridiculous marble floors. Narcissa is forever bitching to anyone who will listen about how the Ministry came in and confiscated all her fine Persian rugs on suspicion of them being flying carpets.
Narcissa is forever bitching about everything, come to think of it. She wasn't such a whiner last time around.
Must write to Severus at Hogwarts, he hasn't sent me a torture report lately. I do so enjoy a good torture report. It would really brighten up my holiday.
I still need a hug. All I want for Christmas is a hug. And Hippogriff slippers.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Dark Lords Need Love Too
117 Reviews | 6.86/10 Average
ROFL!! Can't wait to hear about the trip to the spa.
ROFL. :D
Anonymous
*mwahaha* Brilliant again! Atrocious nails indeed! And Snape with his new hairdo... I saw a great capiton the other day, with a pic of him, and "L'oreal- because you are worth it". ;o)
I can just see him jumping up and down with joy! Off to the spa, boys!
sick, sick, you have one sick and twisted and demented mind. I love it. Good chapter. Please can I have more.
Awww....he got his hug.....
OMG! Fortunately he doesn't master the wand. Wonder what that spa day will be like?
BWAH!!!
I suspect I now know where the fluffy hair alluded to on Buzz came from a few days ago. It's most kind of the Tedious One to take such care about his minions and their grooming practices.
Oh dear God, Voldemort and Lucius sharing a spa day? ROFL. I pity the unfortunate soul who has to give the Dark Lord a massage.
But, hey, I would be more than happy to volunteer to give Lucius a massage. And, naturally, Severus too. That would certainly make my Christmas! 
Er, at least as long as I don't have to see even a semi-nude Voldie. *Shudders*
Ahahaha 'naughty boys need love too' and all that. LOL
Too cute!
haha WIN! I love it!
Very funny! Poor Lucius...he used to be so proud of that hair...
Am I wrong or is this inspired by some scenes in the last movie? Because I made myself the same remark about Lucius' hair. Anyway it's brilliantly done as usual.
Response from peppermint (Author of Dark Lords Need Love Too)
Yes, it is. Seeing DH provided me with some much-needed inspiration, LOL!
Sounds like Bella is becoming such an untrustworthy tramp. What's an evil megalomaniac to do?
Lucius can't get it up anymore? Mehehe, seems to be a trend among writers this week to make dear Lulu look bad. Love it! Just as the rest!
I am already looking forward to reading all those drabbles in one go once you're done!
Shame on you making me laugh at work. I so look forward to your updates.
The comment about Lucius's hair... priceless! :)
Anonymous
*mwahaha* Brilliant, once again! "Where that mouth has been" - "needs a conditioning treatment" *roflol*
Poor Tedious One, just like any kid on Christmas who didn't get the one thing he was looking for...
I'm sure he does get cold on those marble floors. Cold-blooded creatures need a heat source. He's really building this hug up in his mind. I wonder if, when it does happen, it satisfies his expectations.
Aw... poor fellow. I wonder if Lucius knows he could save his wine cellar by giving the Tedious One a little human contact now and again...
"Special collectibles," hm? Well, that would explain my brother-in-law's attachment to his baseball card collection. I always thought the Ken Griffey rookie card had an evil twinkle in its eye ...
This is hilarious! I'm so glad you updated! I look forward to reading of the fate of the rest of the collectibles!
*Snort*
I don't know whether to pity the "cow" or the TO on what will happen next. I think Bella will enjoy being tortured, and he will hate being in the room with her...
You've almost got me feeling bad for the poor widdle TO. Almost.