Chapter Two: You're My Best Friend

Chapter Two: You're My Best Friend

"Slow down! You'll get us killed! Or worse, arrested. I spent years avoiding death at the hands of the Dark Bastard and narrowly escaped Azkaban, and now you are..." Severus's knuckles turned white as they barely missed a large lorry on a tight corner.

"Calm down, Severus. Trust me. This car is designed to be driven at speed. Besides, a few well-placed charms keep the car on the road and away from other vehicles. The Notice-Me-Not should prevent any police detection." Lucius's confidence in his spell-work was unshakeable.

"What about trees? Fences? Power poles?"

"Power poles?" asked the driver.

"You know, those bloody great concrete things at the side of the road. Does your spell include them? And a Notice-Me-Not will not avoid detection by speed cameras."

"What's a speed camera?"

Severus rolled his eyes and asked for guidance from whatever gods may listen to two supposedly respectable wizards bent on breaking various laws of Muggle, Wizarding, and Newtonian origin. He pointed to a box which had just flashed at them from a pole at the side of the road. "That was a speed camera. The police use them to catch fools who drive too fast. You, my dear friend, have just incurred a speeding fine."

"I'll worry about that later. For now, just enjoy." Lucius was unconcerned about Muggles and their petty fines. Why would the wealthiest wizard in Britain worry about fines when there were roads to explore, music to enjoy, and women to bed? He hadn't told his friend about the last plan yet; the man clearly needed a good shagging, and who better to arrange one?

After their three-hour drive back to Malfoy Manor the previous evening, Severus had Floo'ed back to Spinner's End with instructions to return the next day ready for a Muggle adventure. With nothing better to do for the summer than stagnate at his uninviting dwelling, Severus had finally acquiesced, with the proviso that Lucius attire himself less ostentatiously. Casual shirts and jeans had sufficed, and the adventure had begun in a roar of the engine and a squeal of the tyres, much to the bewilderment of the house-elves who had lined up to see their master off.

"Put some music on, Sev!" shouted Lucius over the growl of the motor.

"Any preference, Luce?" asked Severus, rummaging around in the CD box.

"You choose."

Severus smirked as he found just the right song and sang along with gusto.

... You're the best friend that I ever had

I've been with you such a long time...

"Oh, I suppose you think that's funny, Snape. An hour on the road and suddenly he's turned into a fucking comedian," Lucius groaned as said comedian continued to sing to him extravagantly. At least the dark-haired wizard was finally allowing himself to relax and have a good time, even if it was at his expense.

As they sped along the M4 towards Bristol, Lucius fumbled in the glove box to find a packet of fine Havana cigars. Offering one to his friend, he used his wand to light both. The heavy smoke drifted around the interior of the car, mingling decadently with the leather and other purely masculine aromas therein. The two men grinned at each other. Life was good.

Don't stop me now ('cause I'm havin' a good time)

I don't want to stop at all...

"Do you feel like visiting Stonehenge, Sev?"

"Merlin, no. Didn't you specify that this trip was strictly Muggle? Too many witches and wizards lurking around Salisbury. Let's go south, down to the coast."

"Your wish is my command, master." Lucius performed a mock bow, causing the car to swerve wildly towards the centre line.

"Just concentrate on driving, Malfoy! You are not good enough at it yet to act the fool."

Lunch was eaten by the beach at Southbourne. A line of gaily-painted beach huts marched along the sand behind them as they sat enjoying the simplicity of the meal and the fresh, sea air. With no house-elves to cater for his exotic tastes, Lucius had settled for a loaf of fresh bread, a slab of cheese, various cold meats, and fruit, purchased from a Muggle shop. However, with a flourish, he produced the fine bottle of wine and appropriate glasses he had managed to stash in the boot before leaving.

"Only one glass, Lucius. I'm driving next, and I do not want to be thrown in a Muggle police cell for drinking and driving," Severus declared.

"All the more for me, old boy. All the more for me." He raised his glass in a toast. "To freedom. From Dark Bastards, wives, and headmistresses!"

"Freedom!"

There had never seemed a better time to simply lie back on the sand and watch the clouds drift past, birds swooping and squabbling over scraps of food left by untidy passers-by; the gentle swish of the waves against the shore hypnotic in its rhythm. Muggle life definitely had its benefits. A wand, however, was still useful when it came to getting rid of the pervasive sand that clung to their clothes when they decided to move on later in the afternoon.

"Where to now, Luce?" Severus asked as he strapped himself into the driver's seat, eager to test his mettle against the motor.

"No idea. Is Brighton anywhere near here? I hear the café on the pier makes the best fish and chips in England."

Severus did a few mental calculations. Travelling by road was a little less convenient than Apparation or Floo, but the trip was certainly more enjoyable. "It's only about eighty miles. We can get there well before dinnertime. Just sit back and relax."

Lucius did just that. He had to admit Severus's driving was more restful than his own, smoother and more controlled, and was soon lulled to sleep as the powerful car ate up the miles.

***

Hermione sighed as she watched the children playing on the pier. Seagulls squawked, waves lapped at the pier supports, and groups of chattering tourists swarmed the fairground. How did she ever think this would be a peaceful place to make decisions? She had always wanted to visit the famous pier, and, when her final year back at Hogwarts was over, she had decided to spend some time alone to sort out her future plans without anyone else pressuring her.

There were so many options, yet none seemed to appeal. Ron and Harry were intent on entering the Auror training program, but she had had quite enough of fighting dark wizards. Neville had suggested she work for the Ministry in the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures; after the dismal results she had had a few years ago with the house-elves, she rather thought she should stay clear of that occupation. Molly Weasley was pushing her to train to be a Healer; after all, a Healer in the family would be useful. As she wasn't actually planning on joining the Weasley family, not that Ron was aware of it yet, and had little patience with people when they were well, let alone sick, she did not give that idea a lot of credence. Teaching was possible, however years of frustration trying to encourage the boys to study had put her off that profession. One only had to see how much Professor Snape had really enjoyed teaching, even after he could drop the evil bat persona. She had even been approached by the Department of Mysteries and offered a position as an Unspeakable. Her lack of faith in the Ministry after the years of botch-ups preceding the final battle was, even under Kingsley Shacklebolt's leadership, too shaken to consider any position there. Which left her right back where she started. On Brighton Pier. Frustrated.

"Where's that fish and chip shop, Luce?"

Hermione startled as images of the Potions classroom flashed into her mind with that distinctive voice. Fish and chips? Luce? Am I dreaming? She looked up to see the rear view of two extremely well-defined arses clad in tight denim passing by. One was attached to a grey-shirted man with long, blond hair, the other to a dark man in a green shirt. She dragged her eyes away from their indecently attractive rear ends and shook her head. Down, girl! Just because your sex life has been sadly lacking lately doesn't mean you get to ogle older men. Especially those two. Her curiosity and libido getting the better of her, she silently followed the pair at a discreet distance, confirming their identities when they stopped and turned to each other briefly to argue about which food vendor to patronise.

Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy. In Brighton, wearing jeans. What is the world coming to? This, I have to see. She seated herself at a nearby table to watch. Malfoy was sitting alone; Snape had disappeared while she was ordering coffee. Suddenly, she felt a prickle down the back of her neck as a warm breath glided over her skin, then a low voice in her ear addled her thoughts.

"Care to join us, Miss Granger? It would be easier to observe us from over there."

She turned, to find herself face to prodigious nose with her erstwhile Potions professor, who was sporting a wicked grin. Funny, I didn't know he could smile. Swallowing hard, she managed to reply, "Er... yes. Thank you, sir."

Lucius stood as his friend settled the young witch at the table. Extending his hand, he caught hers and gallantly bestowed a kiss upon it. "Miss Granger. Delighted to renew our acquaintance under more pleasant circumstances."

Hermione snorted in a most unladylike fashion and looked him in the eye. "Considering the previous times we have met, Mr Malfoy, when you have been either insulting my parentage or trying to kill me, any circumstances could be deemed preferable." Over your dead body, preferably.

"Yes, but you still saw fit to testify on my behalf. I must have some hope of redemption in your eyes. And my companion here can vouch for me." Confident that his easy charm would win her over, Lucius smiled.

"I merely stated the facts. You were not seen to be involved in the final battle, and you did appear to be under some duress with regards to your family's safety. Loyalty to one's family is a start, Mr Malfoy. However, my experience of your friend's method of teaching is hardly conducive to my acceptance of his opinion on your character. Perhaps you need to convince me yourself?"

Hermione regarded both men with chin held high, no longer afraid of either. Seeing one near death and the other desperate to save his wife and son had altered her perception of both men, although she was not about to concede that to them. Snape had been his usual, obnoxious self in her final year, although he had been fairer. Obscene numbers of points had been deducted from all the houses, and detentions were likewise shared evenly. Seemingly, being proven to be one of the good guys after all had not improved his disposition one iota. An unlikely friendship had developed between herself and Draco Malfoy during their last year at Hogwarts, which had enlightened her somewhat as to his father's motivations and loyalties during the previous twenty years. She found herself somewhat intrigued by the more relaxed and surprisingly sexy Snape and Malfoy. Finding out what they were up to was infinitely more interesting than moping about the pier worrying about her lack of future direction.

The enticing smell of freshly cooked, battered fish as their food arrived conveniently forestalled any further discussion on the relative merits of Lucius Malfoy's character. Conversation was limited to requests for the salt or vinegar and various murmurs of appreciation. Brighton Pier fish and chips were the best.

***

A/N: Lyrics from Queen's You're my Best Friend, and Don't Stop Me Now.

Written for the LMHG Gift Exchange as a gift for PajamaPants.