Three: Inspiration
Chapter 3 of 5
SevvyInfatuation can last a lifetime. Who knows where a secret schoolgirl crush can take you...
ReviewedHowever, as the days turned to weeks, Sara saw little - if next to nothing - of Professor Snape. No other opportunities seemed to present themselves for her to have reason to visit him in either his classroom, office or elsewhere. Any actual sightings of him were usually just fleeting glimpses at a distance as he disappeared around a corner in a flurry of the obligatory, billowing black cloak. Or as he seated himself at, or retreated from, the staff head table at mealtimes, Sara’s own seat being slightly too far to the left of the main table for him to be in permanent view.
Then one day, quite unexpectedly, as Sara made her way along the maze of Hogwarts corridors, precariously balancing a huge pile of student tests through to Deputy Headmistress McGonagall’s office, an interconnecting door suddenly burst open with precipitous force. Such was the strength of it, that it immediately knocked Sara to one side and sent the paper tower tumbling to the floor. The perpetrator was none other than the Potions master himself, looking in thunderous mood.
On seeing Sara hurriedly stooping to retrieve the fluttering jumble of papers, his expression softened however and he too bent down to assist, whilst muttering his apologies.
‘It’s quite alright,’ Sara said good humouredly, secretly thinking that the ‘accident’ was more fortuitous than annoying from her point of view.
‘How are you settling in?’ he suddenly asked of her, his voice almost betraying a tenderness he would normally have taken great pains in trying to hide.
As he raised to stand back up, Sara suddenly found herself having to suppress a gasp as she became aware that he towered over her. She had almost forgotten his impressive height and liked the idea that he was so much bigger than her. He had a faint smell of aromatic herbs and of smoke and pine, a sensuous yet very male scent.
His closeness felt extraordinary, thrilling with a shiver of sex, yet somehow safe too, as though he were really familiar to her, as though she knew him intimately already. He stood back a little and smiled down at her. It was a sudden smile of startling candour, giving one side of his mouth a little crease. Sara had to fight very hard to resist the urge to suddenly reach up and touch his face. The thought sent a clear, bright line of sensation through her.
It was obvious then that he was clearly starting to calm down from whatever had triggered the rage responsible for his previous outburst.
‘I’m settling in really well,’ Sara said, in answer to his question. However, she smiled nervously, despite feeling that she had never felt so glad to be back anywhere in her entire life.
‘Feels like I've never been away as a matter of fact!’ she continued truthfully, starting to feel a slight blush creep up slowly again from the base of her neck. Why did he still have that effect on her?
Snape seemed to look thoughtful for a few seconds, then said, ‘Sara, I’ve been thinking. With your knowledge of potions, it seems a bit of a waste that you’re here now merely as a Secretary. I was wondering.’ He stopped abruptly, clipping the sentence, then re-started almost at once.
‘I have an important task coming up soon. Some work I have to do for the Ministry. It’s basically a case of making up several batches of different potions, but I’ve been quite concerned for some while now as to whether I would be able to handle it all on my own, with my teaching duties as well I mean. Headmaster Dumbledore suggested a while back that I might like to enlist some help. Perhaps you would consider assisting me?’
Sara’s heart felt as if it had lept from her chest, and inside her head a multitude of tiny cheering voices seemed to have erupted so loudly that she almost wondered if he could hear them. But, in contrast, she became the usual stammering wreck she always seemed to be around him.
‘Oh,’ was simply all she said, followed hesitantly by, ‘Yes. Yes, I suppose I could. But I don’t know where that would leave me with Madam Villers. I - I’m not sure how it would affect my duties, you see.’
‘Don’t worry about that,’ the Potions master said assuredly.
‘Leave that to me. I’m sure we can sort something out. I’ll catch up with you later.’
With that, he turned abruptly, simultaneously almost seeming to re-plant the scowl and steely look back on his face as he appeared to remember his original quest - whatever that was.
‘Now, if you’ll excuse me …’ He let the sentence hang in mid air and strode off along the corridor at speed, customary cloak whipping around behind him, leaving in his wake an almost tangible electricity in the air, like that just before a storm, as evidence of his intensity.
Sara could only stare after him, marvelling at how one man could have this effect on everything around him and, at the same time, render her personally to feel so enraptured and yet so small and insignificant in comparison.
She couldn’t quite manage to control the urge to smile though, and she soon found a huge grin spreading rapidly across her flushed face. It seemed that all her dreams were about to come true at last. She felt that she couldn’t have written that last meeting better herself if it had been a scene in a novel and she the author of her own destiny. Such was the strength of her joy, that she thought she might just burst into instantaneous flames of pure happiness …
Two days later, and before she could get to see again the man she was so excited to at last be working with, came the news of his death. At the hands of Death Eaters, the rumours said.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Don't Stand So Close
33 Reviews | 4.85/10 Average
You've handled the subject of obsession beautifully, and highlighted just how much a person's inner world is hidden away from those who surround them. It's incredibly sad that Sara left this world without anyone knowing why.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you so much for this review,
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
- I really appreciate your comments and the fact that you've taken the time to read this fic. :-)
Aww, poor Sara. I am not surprised she was tongue-tied. I'm glad Severus was gentle with her, though.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I'm sure he has the capacity to be exactly that when he wants to be! Thanks for the kind review :-)
'How are you?' I'd die on the spot if Snape asked me that! Well, so did dear Sara, almost.Sevvy, you have a beautiful way with words, and you had me smiling long before the dear professor even showed up. And you had doubts about posting, tut tut.Have a very nice weekend! /M
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I thought you were the brave Slytherin type; surely it would take more than that to make you die on the spot?!Thanks for the review! :-)
Interesting start, Sevvy. How old is she compared with Harry etc? :)
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Patience, my dear Sunny - all will be revealed soon (stay tuned as they say!) Thanks you so much for the review :-)
So far so good!!
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far :-)
great start - nice word smithery - interested in seeing more of your original character - thanks for posting - (darn it! not a coherent sentence in the lot :-) I'll work harder next review)
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I'd give your review top marks actually - thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm really glad that you're liking the story so far :-)
Oh Sevvy, one can tell straight away this is written by a true Snape lover! What beautiful descriptions! My only question is: what took you so long to post?! 
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you,
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
- you flatter me! (Can you see me blushing?!) I really hope the rest of this story doesn't disappoint. As I've already said, it was written quite a long time ago and I've never been sure if I should post or not but I'm so glad you like it so far. It means a lot to me *hugs* :-)
I cannot promise coherent sentences, sevvy, sorry. ;-)Wow, how I recognise Sara's thoughts and desires. It's almost uncanny.The warnings worry me though ...Glad you decided to post this, sevvy. Looking forward to chapter 2./M
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you for your lovely review and the shiny stars my dear friend. I hope this story doesn't disappoint as it progresses. (And stop looking at warnings - it's not good for you!) :-)
I've always wanted to write a story to this song. I think of SS everytime I hear it too. This is wonderful. I hope to see more soon.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you for your lovely review. It's always amazed me that more people haven't connected this song to SS. Chapter two will hopefully be up soon. Thanks again! :-)
I thought that was very very good. I don't often read stories involving suicide but something got me reading this one. I like the way it worked out with everyone being completely baffled including Snape. He has a kind side to him when he encounters a former student whom he remembers as very dedicated and good at potions. He feels nothing for her otherwise and her obsession builds up things in her head which do not exist. It is sad, but there certainly are plenty of people who become obsessed and forget the real world.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you so much for so kindly reading and reviewing my story. You have no idea how much it means to me that you did this and that you understood what I was trying to get across. It is indeed a sad fact that people do become obsessed (with all sorts of things of course, not just another human being.) And even sadder when they can't separate fact from fantasy. I never intended this story to be really sad or depressing, but rather more of a thought provoking one with the message of hope (i.e. the eagle representing eternal life.)I'm really glad you 'stayed the course' and thank you again for your comments. :-)
A truly tragic, yet fitting ending. There are so many 'what might have beens' and it took a moment for me to realize what the eagle was a metaphor of. Very enjoyable story.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I am so pleased that you understood my metaphor of the eagle and absolutely delighted that you have taken the time and trouble to follow and review this story! It really does mean so much to me - thank you! :-)
Good chapter, and the notes at the end were wonderful and very true.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I am so happy that you are still following and enjoying (or at least not too depressed by) this story and thank you so much for commenting on my notes at the end. I just felt I should put them in somehow. Thanks again! :-)
Ouch, what an evil way to end the chapter.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Perhaps this story is bringing out my underlying evil tendancies! Sorry about that! But thanks for continuing to read and review! :-)
You did a great job showing us Sarah's nervous state. It gave the chapter a more robust flavor.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you again for your review. I'm glad that you felt I had described Sara's nervous state accurately. I know I would have been a bundle of nerves in her position! :-)
Nice start to the story. I'm looking forward to seeing where you will take us.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I'm glad that you like the start to this story. Thank you so much for your review! :-)
oh this epilogue.this deepens the absurdness of Saras suicide the more.one could have guessed.he is alive and she is dead.no one understands it and for him she was just a nice talented girl grown up to a woman.aawww.unjust.Why would she not have the patience, courage and power to wait.just a little longer.she had waited for 6 years.Now she can fly above him. maybe to protect him?at least be around, I think.sad sad story.Thank you so much for it.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Sara's suicide is not really absurd. As far as she is concerned there was no reason to live. If any one is to blame it is perhaps Dumbledore (or Severus himself) for not telling her immediately the truth of her recruitment and that Severus would be 'faking' his death.But that's just my point: We are all too busy going about our own lifes that we do not always realise another person's perspective on things. And, even after her death, no one has actually managed to put two and two together and realise why she did it.I am so glad that you have taken the trouble to read and review my story - it really means a lot to me. I hope I have not depressed you too much! I can (and do) write other stuff - some of it even happy! - but this was my first and I wanted it to be something completely different! Thank you so much again :-)
Response from salvamea (Reviewer)
delays and wrong decisions. sad sad story, but that is how many things end, no matter where.I found it very refreshing to have this new character in here.And that you showed the human side of Snape. But the ignorant, spy side, that could trust no one, not even the ones he asks for help. I meant absurd like: if she had waited a little more, she soon would have heard all about it, and have seen him again. no need to die. It is not always good to be such an able potions mistress, that can provide herself with poison like that.All those skills thrown away.
I thank you for your explanations at the end of the chapter.But for me they were merely unneccessary.you made Saras feelings and state of mind and emotions and heart very clear and transparent to the reader right from the start.Nothing surprinsing or shocking here when she look inside herself and sees there is nothing to live for anymore.That she is shattered. led an unsatisfactory life, which can not be continued- as she thinks at that point.It is a hard step she takes here. Sad and lonely and without hope and confidence in a future before her, even without the love of her life.But people do get to this point.Why not in fanfiction.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
You are so right, people most definitely do sometimes (sadly) get to this point. I am trying to be realistic here - her obsession is so strong that she would not be thinking rationally at this point in time. She is so desperate to be near him again. Once again, my thanks go out for so kindly reviewing! :-)
AARRGGHH!! What are you doing!!let him die!this can not be!she has the opportunity of her life and it is soo close now.And him so friendly and kind and everything to her.quick, lets read on
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I hope I have not shocked you too much by this chapter! Thanks again for the review and for following this story :-)
her dream came true. her dream came true.she took soo much effort to get this moment, to get this chance to meet him. and she lived through it.And he was soo nice to her. Almost human.yes, girl, you will see him again.And he will take a closer look at you, I bet.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
I think Severus is very 'human' (just unable to show that nice, normal side in canon and in view of the double life he leads.) I think that Sara is probably one of the few people who have actually been able to see this and see through his 'protective armour'.I'm glad that you are following and liking this story. Thanks for the review!
this girl is so interesting!"!you write her story with so much warmth and artless and not artificial. one must like her at once. And her way of describing her true ever lasting feelings for that strangest and purest of all people turns one to her in the most feeling and emphatic ways. one must like her. and wish her luck.lets hear his side of view.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad that you like Sara and find her interesting! I hope that you are now inspired to read on with this story.Thanks again for taking the time to review :-)
Dearest sevvy,this was a wonderful little story. It is sad to see that Severus did not get to know the feelings Sara held for him. And still, the end seemed hopeful. It is encouraging to think that those who love us will never truly leave us.Sending you a big hug from Switzerland, for the story and the kind words./M
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you my dear morgaine. I'm glad you have followed this story right through and felt that it offered hope. That was certainly my intention, along with expressing exactly as you say - those who love us never truly leave us.Hope Switzerland is sunny - say 'Hi' to all your family for me! Thanks again for all your support and loyalty with this story. :-)
That was a very bittersweet ending, and although Sara taking her life was tragic, I got a very real sense of hope from this epilogue. Maybe the spirit of Sara is waiting for him in the afterworld after all?And let me thank you for your sweet comment at the end. If it wasn't for your reviews, I probably would have given up writing a long time ago. And I'm pleased that you finished this piece and decided to post it, I really hope it spurs you on to write more. And I meant what I said last time: do feel free to drop me a line, if you want to :)
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
. I'm glad you found this story bittersweet rather than intensely sad. It was not my intention to be too depressing!If you read my response to Elizabeth, you will see that I was indeed trying to express that there is 'life after death' in some shape or form. The eagle/wizard thing was a rather clumsy attempt at showing that!It is my intention to get in touch with you soon & I would have done so sooner but things are more than a little crazy here at present; my husband just found out today that he has definitely been made redundant, among other things! Will contact you soon I promise! Thanks again for all your loyal support. :-)
Response from star_girl (Reviewer)
I'm sorry to hear about your hubby. I hope things get better for you both soon. Thinking of you. x
I did have a slight fear that it was all faked. And I was wondering if she should have waited for further proof to kill herself. It's sad that she was so obsessed with the thought of love that she closed herself off to actually getting it in return.It was beautiful. Poor Severus never got to see the side of someone who pined for him. Sad.
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you for your review and for your support and loyalty in following this story. The point I was trying to make is that obsession - to the extent that Sara had it - is not a good thing. Severus was unaware of her feelings for him but, even if he had been, would almost definitely not have been willing or able to return them. His life went on even after her death - he had greater things to think about.Whilst I wanted the tables to be reversed a bit in this tale by allowing Severus to live (at least for the time being), I wanted to also express the hope that Sara (in whatever realm she then existed) would wait for him. Possibly even knowing that his own death (if canon is to be applied) is imminent. The 'mirrored' image of bird and wizard is my rather complicated and deep way of expressing that! (I have always thought that AR - as Severus - has rather hawk/eagle like features at times!) I really hope that you did not find this too sad. As I said before, rather than creating a depressing tale, it was my intention to be thought provoking and express that death does not have to be the end. Hence she went from 'all encombassing black' (at the beginning of the story) to the 'all encombassing light'. Thanks again for the review :-)
This, too, is a sad chapter, but I am not offended by it at all. I read the warnings before I began reading the first chapter.Your point about the futility of obsession is keenly made, as is the point that the object of one's obsession is rarely aware of it and often does not return the feelings.I'm eagerly awaiting the epilogue to see how this ultimately concludes.Beth
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
It has been lovely this morning to wake up to a flurry of your reviews - you can't believe how grateful I am to you and how much this means to me - thank you for that!I am pleased that my point about the futility of obsession is coming across. I hope you will now feel able to read the final part of this story - it's in the queue and should be on its way soon! Thank you again for all your kind words and for staying loyal to this fic. :-)
Dead? He's dead? Oh my God! I never expected this, especially after their meeting in the corridor when he spoke to her about assisting him with his brewing. How sad!Still, your story is beautifully written! Emotions, as you describe them, ring true and put this reader truly into the midst of the story itself. You've done a great job telling your tale.
Beth
Response from Sevvy (Author of Don't Stand So Close)
Thank you again for the lovely review. I hope it is not making you too sad! I also really hope that you will continue to read and, hopefully, not be too disappointed by the outcome :-)