New Chapter for Finish Line
Finish Line
RachelW5 Reviews | 10.0/10 (5 Ratings, 0 Likes, 2 Favorites )
Reaching the finish line: There are many to reach, to cross, but the one I see and the one you see might be different.
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About RachelW
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RachelW
Member Since 2005 | 6 Stories | Favorited by 106 | 2 Reviews Written | 46 Review Responses
Reviews for Finish Line
This is the first peice of original fiction I've ever read online, and I think this is a good story to start with. I like how you really captured the moment. I should tell you, I extremely dislike running. I was the kid who always was the one in the back of the line in elementary school gym class, and since then, I've always hated running with a burning desire. However, you really captured the character well, showing running is a personal art rather than a performing art. I can definitely put th echaracter's emotions into my emotions when I do well in the things I enjoy or excell at. This was a really great story!
Response from RachelW (Author of Finish Line)
Thanks! :-) I don't run either - bad knees, but used to do lots of weightlifting and bicycling, and getting back into the bicycling lately. This story was an imaginative exercise to put myself back into the feeling of exercising.
I know this was not your intention, but I found myself drawing a more personal analogy ... another 'race' of sorts, another challenge. I would say that was a compliment, for if a writer can get the reader to personalize the story, it has been successful (and I don't run; probably would fall flat on my face).
I also want to add that I am happy to see a short story. I was just wondering how I could encourage more original stories, and there you were. ;) I was very happy to get the e-mail that you posted something new.
So... everyone knows that I have a degree in English... (Literature nerd here...) Tell me. Why did I come back to read this again and start wondering if there is something else? You know I like to read other messages into things. Many things spring to mind now. It's just a race! She's talking about life! She's dying and being brought back. That kind of stuff. Wanna put me at ease? lol dork!Southern
Response from RachelW (Author of Finish Line)
COOL!!! Okay, yes, I meant for it to be about several things, and really, the race being a metaphor, since I'm not a runner (though at one time I used to work out a lot and can understand the whole endorphine addiction that goes along with it) but it's not really about running a 20K race. ;-)southern_witch_69's response:
haha! thank goodness. I read it and said, "Wow! Feels like I've had a run." That's because of all the description. Perfect. (During the first read, at one part, I imagined the runner to truly be someone that was in the midst of some near fatal accident, but I shrugged it off.)
So then after, I kept wondering about it. I had to read again. Only that time, other things popped up. ~teehee~ Clever.
I can almost hear the feet hitting the ground, the heavy breathing, and can nearly feel my legs aching. Good description.
Response from RachelW (Author of Finish Line)
Thanks, SW!! :-)
Amazing