Chapter 3
Chapter 3 of 9
sc010fSeverus Snape has been dead for years, and Hermione is incensed that Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes could possibly be capitalizing on his name to sell beauty products. Written for Lulabelle72's prompt, "the late Severus Snape presents".
ReviewedHermione fidgeted over Christmas Eve dinner with her parents.
"Dearest, whatever is the matter?" asked her mother.
"Nothing, Mum, I'm just thinking about some issues at work."
"Well, you haven't touched your mince pie." Elaine Granger pushed Hermione's plate at her daughter.
"I'm sorry, Mum, I'm just not that hungry."
"Well, ducky," said her father "why don't we go a-caroling?"
Hermione tried to sound enthusiastic in her acquiescence, but later that evening, or rather, at two on Christmas morning, tucked up in her childhood bed, after a caroling session that ended up at her parents' neighbors' house, with everybody (except Hermione) drinking way too much eggnog, all she could think about was Severus Snape sitting alone, presumably, in his cozy sitting room in Long Higgleton.
Five hours later saw Hermione creeping from her parent's house, after leaving a note saying she would be back for Christmas lunch, and Apparating to the Cotswolds to beard Augusta Longbottom in her den.
"I must say, this is highly irregular," Augusta Longbottom declared, glaring at Hermione over her pince-nez as she sat at her breakfast table. "But my grandson assures me that you have the best of motives and are quite capable. Brightest witch of your age, was the phrase, I believe."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. Would you care for shortbread?" Hermione asked, offering the box.
"Not at eight-thirty on Christmas morning, thank you!"
"I'm sorry."
Mrs Longbottom harrumphed slightly and sipped her tea. The silence stretched.
"Madam – Mrs Longbottom, I wanted to ask you a question."
"Well? Speak up, girl!"
"Mrs Longbottom, I wanted to ask you about Severus Snape."
"And why would you want to do that?"
Hermione hesitated – what could she say to Mrs Longbottom that wouldn't break her promise to Severus?
"I . . . I'm upset about . . . the way his name has been used to market the line of cosmetic products, and I heard that you might have some information about, well, what happened to him," Hermione stammered.
Mrs Longbottom glared at the young witch.
"Indeed," she said.
Hermione opened her mouth to reply but shut it again with a snap as she clung to the shreds of her temper. The silence stretched again.
"Dare I ask what you plan to do with any information you think I am able to give you?"
"Set the record straight, perhaps? Neville told me that he brought Professor Snape to you, and that you and he had cared for him, but . . . he hadn't survived."
"There you are, then," Mrs Longbottom replied, sitting back and taking a piece of Hermione's shortbread. "You know all that there is to know." She took a dainty bite.
"But -" Hermione protested.
"This interview is at an end, Miss Granger, unless you would care to share your delicious shortbread with me?"
Hermione sighed, accepted the cup of tea, and tucked into her shortbread. Neville hadn't been joking when he called his gran a hard nut to crack.
But failure at the Longbottom abode did not dictate failure on other fronts. Hermione took her leave of Mrs Longbottom as soon as she could politely do so and called her parents.
As it was nine-twenty on Christmas morning, she woke them. They were not pleased that she was not in her bed and even less pleased that she was proposing to bring company for Christmas lunch, but she bargained on being their darling daughter who loved her parents very much and eventually won out.
Being an only child had its uses, sometimes.
"What are you doing here?"
Snape scowled at Hermione, tapping his slippered foot impatiently. Hermione noticed that the slippers were dark green while his pajama pants were dark red, almost Gryffindor shade. The dressing gown was green and belted just tightly enough for her to catch a glimpse of a bare chest, pale in the morning light. He sipped his coffee meditatively as Hermione blushed and soldiered on with her mission. She did wish that he would at least invite her in: it was bloody cold on his doorstep.
He did not.
"Inviting you to Christmas lunch with me and my parents. Will you come?"
"Where?"
"To lunch with me and my parents. You shouldn't have to be alone on Christmas Day."
"What makes you think that I'm going to be alone on Christmas Day?"
"Well . . ." Hermione paused – how was she so certain that he was going to be alone? "I doubt you're welcome at the Longbottoms."
Snape nodded.
"As a matter of fact," he said, "I was planning on spending today alone with a book. By myself."
Hermione drew herself up.
"Last offer, Professor; my father roasts a mean goose."
"Your offer is not tempting in the least, let me assure you, Miss Granger."
"Well, then, please?" Hermione wondered why she had thought begging would be a good idea.
"What?"
"Please. I . . . I . . ." Hermione was aware of how pathetic it sounded.
"Feel sorry for me?" Snape quirked an eyebrow.
"No, yes, no! I just want to make sure that you have a merry Christmas. And if you come with me..."
"Go away."
"If you come with me, I won't tell Harry that you're alive."
"You wouldn't." Snape's eyes widened in horror.
Hermione knew she really would never do such a thing - certainly when it meant breaking her promise - but she was desperate. Mrs Longbottom's lack of answers left her more curious than ever.
"It's a small price to pay, sir."
Snape paused.
"If I come with you, will you promise not to bother me again?" he asked.
"Well, no, but I promise not to beg you for anything," Hermione countered.
Snape sighed.
"Very well," he said resignedly. "What time is luncheon?"
Hermione resisted the urge to leap into the air, clap, and squeal.
"We eat at one. We live in –"
"Please spare me, Miss Granger, simply Apparate here at twelve-forty-five and take me via Side-Along. I have no desire to know exactly where you live."
"Well, then – thank you, sir. You won't regret this."
"I'd better not," Snape growled, slamming the door in her face.
As she Apparated away to her parents' cozy London home, it occurred to Hermione to wonder why Snape had agreed so readily (surely being threatened with Harry wasn't all that it had taken) and also why Snape had refused to Apparate himself.
Her mother was glad to see her and immediately put her to work. Presents in the Granger household were typically opened after Christmas lunch, when everyone was much more mellow.
Fortunately, Hermione had the perfect gift in mind for her difficult former professor and guest. The Late Severus Snape Presents line of products included a very nice shampoo and conditioner gift set for men.
Hugging to herself the image of Severus Snape opening the gift of one of his own products as he politely made conversation with her parents, Hermione fell to frying sausage with a will.
AN:Not mine, no money. But thanks and praise go to the marvel that is Subversa for taking my ramblings and making them recognizable English!
Thanks also to Lulabelle72 for her ingenious prompting!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Lotions and Potions
143 Reviews | 5.86/10 Average
Awwwers! Loved your story! :)
I just loved this story! It was so sweet, romantic, sexy. A very well written story that was interesting until the very last word. I would give this story 10 stars if I could but I will have to settle for five instead. Wonderful story and your very lucky to have Subversa as your beta, that writer has created some fantastic stories, just like this story.
That was the hottest and sweetest garden kiss I have ever read! Fantastic chapter!
OMG - I love that last line! It's a classic!
Great story!
Hmm..curious as to why Snape no longer has his magic, as well as why he agreed to come with her and play nice. He could have been nasty to her family, in hopes that shed never invite him again- that doesn't take magic.
GODS I'm a sucker for happy endings!
(Love how tenacious and funny you made Hermione!)
I had to re-read this today just because it's yours and I wanted something to fill the half hour while I waited for the pork to marinate.
It's as delightful and charming as the first time I read it. Hermoine's a bit like mould, she infiltrates and is exceedingly difficult to eradicate. Although she's far easier to love.
He should be glad it was Hermione the one he had to have sex with and not some ugly witch! :))
I'm glad he expressed his feelings at the end so we'll know he'll treat her right.
Loved your story. Thank you.
Love this! It was light and sweet but substantial and not at all sappy. I love it (I'll say it again)
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you! :)
I love happy chapters. Severus seems relatively comfortable and for him that must be a miracle.
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :)Making Severus comfortable is always the most challenging part! ;)I'm so glad you enjoyed this!
Great story! I love it! Update soon!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :)
Blaco-- that's great! And they probably don't even care when Hermione makes fun of them, either... Glad that things are finally heating up for our favorite couple, and that nobody had to drop Severus from a second story window after all (though that would have been funny). Next chapter please!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much - more is coming... ;)
No really, it's for your health! Oh, that's fabulous! I almost snorted soda out my nose when I read the last line, "you're supposed to shag me." I can only imagine how that's going to go over--but hopefully I won't have to imagine for long...
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :) I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
"Draco and Blaise attempted to get her drunk so she could shag Ernie Macmillan, but to no avail."BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love that line! And I can't wait to find out what Hermione's solution is to Severus' problem... hopefully it's not as potentially lethal as when Neville's family tried dropping him from windows as a boy! Keep up the good work!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
Dranger danger? LOL!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
:) Indeed! Thank you!
whoooohooo! yes! yes! yes! finally they're getting together. i can hardly wait. thanks so much
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
*g* Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
more please - loving this. Very funny and exceptionally well written.
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you're enjoying this!
Hermione knew that she need only wait him out. Love it! Now--get busy with the next chapter (please)!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :) Next chapter will be posted soon! :)
Nice buildup in this chapter. I can really feel how she has gotten under his skin. Of course I can't wait until the next chapter to see the culmination of her plans. Thanks for posting, JoAnne
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you're enjoying this!
WHOOT! She wore him down! wait... isn't there another one... you mean... AHHHhhhh!UPDATE SOON!!! please.
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
*g* so glad you're enjoying this! :)
She used poor Neville and only to make him so moppy that he got drunk! Well, okay, he'd probably have gotten drunk anyway - but that's not the point! She used him. And Ilove that she stormed off to Severus' house! Arithmancy, the Runes, and a Muggle psychic - what? No tea leaves, reading the stars, crystal ball, or cards? Geeze! LOL Can't wait to see his reaction to this! Oh, on the other hand she's offering to shag him. So, he gets a little. It's been a while - he just might.
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
I know... bad!Hermione.But I'd liek to think she's gotten a little unscrupulous in later years!I'm so glad you're enjoying this! :)
Interesting that he could feel her doing magic in his house. Cute that her friends are trying to set her up. And really funny that it was a Friday the 13th when she discovered the answer... I'm on pins!!
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :)I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
Oi, Draco is s a kick. Hermione + a good cause + a problem = nose in books. Geeze even I l know that! Good chapter, doll.
Response from sc010f (Author of Lotions and Potions)
Thank you so much! :D