A Big Mistake

Thanks to Ladyinthecloak for her brilliance; all mistakes belong to me, really.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Potterverse. I've just stolen some key elements and have skewed them terribly for my own perverted means... Heh.

Chapter 19: A Big Mistake

--

"Things change, Miss Granger," Severus said quietly.

"Understatement of the century!" the girl exclaimed, leaning into her cupped hand and raising her eyebrows for effect. She wiped a bit at her nose with a tear-drenched sleeve.

"I'm assuming you are under copious amounts of stress, are you not?" he asked.

She sat up slightly and looked down at her tea. "Yes."

"How much sleep are you getting?"

"Four, maybe five hours a night," she spoke absently, tracing the rim of her cup.

"Miss Granger! You must have at least eight hours of rest a night! You need Pepper-Up... or Dreamless Sleep!" Severus started rattling off different elixirs and potions for sleep aids when she cut him off.

"Perhaps... Perhaps Dreamless Sleep wouldn't be too terrible," she muttered hesitantly.

"No wonder you don't raise your hand in class. It is probable that you cannot even lift it up!"

"Not true! I just don't like the attention anymore! It's all just stares and whispers now! And let me ask you a question, Professor! How many hours of sleep do you get per night?"

"That is none of your concern," he hissed and then regained his footing. "But I am not using a Time-Turner during my work hours."

She huffed and looked away, folding her arms again. "It's so I can take all the classes I wish to take."

"How many hours a day are you using the Turner?"

"Erm... seven?"

"Miss Granger, you are spending twenty-seven hours in a twenty-four hour period awake. Each day. Do you not sense something wrong with this picture?"

"I might," she grumbled, picking up her tea and taking a big gulp.

"How many years have you been using this Time-Turner, Hermione?"

"Since third year, sir. I almost had it taken away, though, when Harry and I used it to save Sirius..." She kept talking, but Severus heard none of it. He was too busy making calculations in his head.

Nine months out of the year she has been using the Time-Turner. For four school-years... That's thirty-six months. She's eighteen now... That would make her nearly... "Twenty-two."

"Sorry, sir?" Granger's eyes snapped to his widening ones.

"You're approximately twenty-one-and-a-half years old, Miss Granger."

"Wha...No, I'm... WHAT!?"

"You've lived four school years...which is thirty-six months...twice over. That would make you approximately three years older than you think you are."

"My God."

"Indeed."

They sat in silence for a long while, just sipping absentmindedly at their tea, until Hermione started fidgeting in her seat. Severus could tell she wanted to say something, badly.

"What would you like to tell me?"

"N-nothing, sir."

"Hermione." Her head snapped up, eyes wide with surprise. Damn it, man! He resolved to make up that last statement. "You want to tell me something."

She seemed halfway through a nod before she shot up from her chair. "Mm...no."

He did not know exactly why, but he stood up, too. "Granger."

"No. No, sir. I-I have nothing to tell you... sir."

He walked around the table and reached for her arm as soon as she backed away from him. "Why are you running away? It is a question, Granger...not a death threat."

"Hah!" she laughed nervously, adding, "I beg to differ," in a half-whisper.

"Your reaction suggests that you are hiding something. And you know what else it suggests? It suggests that what you're hiding is already something that you know isn't good for you. Now you will tell me what that something is." He punctuated that last demand with the unsheathing of his wand.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get an answer out of you by all means necessary. I've asked you many, many times before about your sleep-loss and your lack of appetite, and obviously it's not something as common as a disorder or disease. You've enough on your plate, Hermione, now spill it."

"Now you are threatening me!" Her eyes were wide in terror. Irrational terror, mind.

"Don't be silly. I'm not going to k..."

"Oh, Gods! You're going to kill me!" she breathed. And then she frowned. "What? Why are you going to kill me?"

"Christ, woman, did I not just say...or attempt to say, rather...that I was not going to kill you until you rudely interrupted me?" He nearly shouted, then, remembering himself he tucked his wand back into his sheath and strode quickly towards her.

He grasped her by the arm and she squealed, "It's the potion!"

Severus stepped back. "Wha...?"

"It's the potion I think it's the potion," she said in a rapid slur of words. All the while there was a guilty look on her face. Then her eyes seemed to glaze over as she began again, "I've been researching the next ingredient, and it's niggling at me, like I know what the answer is, but it's in a deep, dark corner of my mind, and I can't quite reach it...I've gotten pretty far, you know." Her words were excited and staccato, like she didn't dare take a breath between each one, and she was shaking all over.

Severus just stared in disbelief.

"I've coined it as the Epiphanoserum. It's supposed to reveal the innermost, subconscious feelings to the drinker. There are side effects, though...that's what I've been researching, you see. If the drinker has certain feelings for a certain person, their physical attraction might be enhanced toward the one receiving affection...I think it's because of the cacao and the powdered oyster I added a month or two ago...I can't remember. All my thoughts get all jumbled up in my head when I think about it." She giggled. "It's so exciting, creating potions. I think so; don't you think so, Professor?"

"You're addicted," he said flatly.

"What? Don't be silly. I haven't ingested a potion since I was last in hospital."

"Where is it?"

"Where is it?" she repeated dumbly, as if her brain had suddenly stopped processing information. Which he supposed it had, due to the obscene amount of exposure she had had to this 'Epipha-something-or-other'.

"I do not think I have to repeat myself, Hermione." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her once. "Where is the potion?"

"No! Don't destroy it! I've worked on it for months!" She appeared suddenly lucid and this was good, if not for her determination not to tell him anything.

"It's not in your bedroom, is it?"

"No! That's incredibly stupid to experiment where you sleep!"

"It's incredibly stupid...period...to experiment unsupervised, Hermione. Do you have any idea what this has been doing to you?"

She inhaled. "Why would it do anything to me? I'm just researching and adding ingredients every now and then!"

"Merlin, did they teach you nothing at Peniche? Have I taught you nothing? Potions aren't just digested, Hermione, they can have serious effects on your olfactory glands. They distort your mind, Granger!"

"You...you can't have the potion."

He shook her one last time. "Hermione. If you go on for any longer without sleep or nutrition, you will die. This potion is causing your loss of appetite and strange conduct...both your anti-social and your fidgety behaviour. You. Are. Addicted. And it's destroying your personality."

"No!" she replied weakly, almost in tears.

"Legilimens!"

A cluttered desk. Thinking about it in Charms. Dark and cramped cupboard. Thinking about it in Hogsmeade. Sweet, seductive smells that wafted from the cauldron. Thinking about it at dinner. A dusty, restricted tome that she fell asleep on every night. Thinking about it during their luncheon while she laughed at something he said. A door in the Gryffindor common room.

He drew back, angered and frankly a little hurt that she hadn't been thinking about him while he made her smile, and turned towards the doors to the hall.

He had to get rid of it.

--

It was two in the morning when the tears stopped, and the weight that had been lifted had seemed less cataclysmic. He'd taken the cauldron and Evanescoed it in one grand swoop of his wand and had taken her potions set and books and cauldron with him.

And he'd left her alone to cry herself to sleep.

She'd run up to her little bedroom and buried her face in the pillows, lamenting. In embarrassment. In despair. In relief. In grief that these feelings that her rational mind...now that it was back in action, after she'd been cut off...had decided were forming for her Potions master were actually a by-product of the potion. They weren't real.

Not real.

-o-

It surprised her to wake up in the morning to find both a bottle of Dreamless Sleep and Pepper-Up at her bedside.

A/N: Whaddya think? I've had this scene (in several different drafts) since the beginning, but like the finished product. I hope it explains a few things!

This is kind of where the story turns sour...not terribly, mind. Though, I must remind you now that there is no instant gratification for Hermione or Severus...they've got a bit of a road ahead of 'em. 'Specially Sev. The story is a bit more SS-centric for the rest of the time. But, you'll still be hearing from Herms, don't you worry your little heads! There was also a scene from the Halloween Ball that hints at the general direction that Hermione's story is moving in now, if you can find it. It involves another person. *wink wink nudge nudge*

BUT!!! This is still and will in the end be a SSHG fic! I PROMISE!!