'Cause We All Struggle With Forward Motion

A/N: Don't own Potterverse. Just play there.

Instructions on How to Dance

By: AR Taloff/ Fenrir

Chapter III: 'Cause We All Struggle With Forward Motion

I've been banging my head against the wall

for so long it seems I knocked it down, yeah it got knocked down.

Remus tugged on a t-shirt, a pair of socks, brushed off his pants, and walked out the door of his bedroom.

The living room windows were open, letting in the smells from the bakery and market from down the road. Scent was important to him. Even in his original form, Remus had telltale reminders that part of the month he was an animal. Scent was a curse, but it was also a blessing at times.

Times like these where he could smell the baking goods and the fresh vegetables and Luna's perfume and candles, neither of which were too strong. The morning smells of late summer. He liked these things and remembered that if they never fell in love, that at least this tenuous companionship, this flat, and these smells would always be here, just waiting for morning.

Luna had gone jogging...she always did these mornings...then she came home and showered before putting her hair in a long braid and getting ready for school. He hadn't remembered reading about her liking jogging and wondered if that was part of that point one percent that hadn't been in their compatibility.

As it had been for the last few mornings, Luna was out on the rooftop, having a cup of chai tea. He found himself walking that way, too, climbing up the stool to grip the roof for leverage and push off the railing around the balcony. She was there, letting the morning sun and slight breeze dry her hair with a small box containing two croissants and two cream-filled donuts---one chocolate, the other Bavarian cream---by her side and a mochaccino in her right hand.

He had seen her clambering up there like a cat one day and gone with her, only to discover he liked the spot quite well. The more he learned of Luna, the more he found that she could do simple things that left him feeling a little different than he had before. Remus would have never gone on the roof of his flat to enjoy anything, much less a sun and the town below. Sipping the mocha while sitting next to her, he wondered abstractly if that was what true love and all that was about, letting yourself change in good ways due to someone else.

Taking a sip of her tea, Luna felt like her skin was prickling up as Remus continued to look at her, despite having sat down. His watching her was growing more and more disconcerting as their time together went on. He didn't watch her always, but when he did, Luna felt like her nerves were on fire.

For the last week or two, they'd finished putting their flat together. It was homey, and she liked that. There were some paintings they'd found at a flea market and some vases and seashells they'd found at a home decorating store. Thyme, rosemary, chives, and basil were in little pots next to the window.

And that box had been put away in her closet.

Two days after yelling at him, she wandered into his room while he was folding laundry and apologized with some chocolate from a chocolatier she'd heard of. A tentative truce had been formed, and she had lied about the contents of the box. Luna admitted, disgustedly, that she wasn't tough enough to not lie. Not yet.

Every morning since three days after they'd moved in, she went to the studio.

Lynette LaToure was 65 when Luna and Neville had decided to join dance classes. Now, at 67, she had been fond of the couple. None but two people had been told about them being magically inclined; Lynette was one of them. Very little, Luna mused, got by the owner of Mamette's Hardwood Floor, and Luna had to practice every nuance of every phrase. It was hard to not cry when she first started to think of the lie she'd tell. No one needed to know, at least not yet, that Neville and she had broken up, and now she was stuck with an old man. No one needed to know that they weren't getting married. At least not yet.

But the one problem with lies, she realized, is that soon it became hard to tell the truth, even to yourself.

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Luna was struggling with her books. Again. It didn't take much with Divination as the subject. There were any number of long and boring texts on the subject, and since she was focusing more on the how and why of the art, rather than forcing the talent on her students, it became necessary to cull the idiocy from the good. She'd had a large selection of her own books, but still, there were seven levels of Divination, five of which dealt with the actual learning of all the types, three which required the actual ability.

So naturally, the problem of finding even more books was at hand. Reaching her office door, Luna jumbled the books around to find her wand. Seconds from properly grasping the damn thing, her tenuous hold on the texts broke, and they spilled unceremoniously to the ground.

Slumping, Luna knelt and began picking them up.

It had been a long day, but she'd received an owl from Mrs. Pince that the books she had ordered had shown up. Not wishing to put the librarian out, Luna had finished up at the studio and Apparated over to the flat and to her office. Her legs were tired due to a good workout, and her mind was still going through the steps. Despite all this, she heard the low scrape of leather against cobblestone and turned her head, wand at the ready.

Nothingness.

Luna forced her breathing to get quiet and tried to hear around her heartbeat. Dark places still gave her the chills, and despite the torchlight, she was still aware that it was past eleven and night had turned everything black. Staring into the darkness, she tried to see if there was anyone there and found nothing.

Without turning away from the place, she had heard the noise, she began fumbling with the books and keeping her wand at the ready, Expelliarmus at her lips. Realizing she was only getting so far she scooted back a ways as her hand came in contact with another.

Turning, she screamed the spell and pointed at the place the offending party might have been and heard a shout and a thud as the creature was thrown against a wall. Luna panted, pressing against the wall and trying to calm her racing heart.

Glancing about she noticed another wand and grabbed at it, then approached the figure cautiously. Two paces away, it coughed raggedly and moved, and Luna's eyes narrowed. That cough sounded familiar.... She knelt gingerly at the person's side and nudged him with the pair of wands. "Oi... are you okay?"

It coughed again and turned its head towards her, revealing a pair of glittering gold eyes. Remus's eyes. "In a manner of speaking."

Her jaw dropped and face blanched at that, and Remus felt the nasty comment that was bubbling up dissipate. He also noted her inching back. Merlin, does she do that with everyone, or do I just horrify her that much? Rubbing the back of his neck, he sat up slowly, vision clearing. Sighing, he looked at her and smiled amiably. "Sorry for scaring you. I didn't know what was keeping you and saw your note that said you were at Hogwarts."

Nodding slowly, Luna made a motion with the wands. "Sorry for... sending you across the room."

Smiling, Remus felt the back of his head gently and chuckled. "Well, it will certainly teach me to sneak up on you." Her face flushed, and she ducked her head. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad; you did the smart thing. It might not have been me."

Luna nodded again and stood up. Remus tried to do the same and managed fine until his head suddenly felt detached from his body. He heard Luna muffle a cry, and realized, belatedly, that it was muffled against his shirt... and that he was slowly descending back to the floor with her try to stop his fall.

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I don't know what he was thinking, checking up on me like this. Merlin knows it's not like he's got anything to worry about. I can take care of myself, and why isn't he waking up?! Luna paced back and forth, thinking and mumbling things to herself at intervals. She had managed to stop him from cracking his skull on the cobblestones again but succeeded also in being pinned down by him. Mobilicorpus helped get him to her office, and a Floo to Poppy had sent the mediwitch up to check and make sure Remus wasn't entirely broken.

She had looked him over, given Luna a funny look, tsk'ing the entire time, and after, she'd called Snape up to make her some more of the potion she needed. Then, Snape had strode in, giving her snide looks; the only thing she'd thought that could have made things worse would be for Albus to appear, which he had, the wanker.

Albus would always be her favorite his wit, his laughter, everything was sweet and guileless, and the affable front covered his steel will and awesome power. What she hadn't known was his nosiness would become such an issue. He, of all the staff, knew about her and Remus, and the whole time and every time they saw each other, much to her consternation, he would hint, whisper loudly, and talk about Remus and she, saying and asking and inferring everything about them living together.

Luna loved him, she did. She just thought that when he was in Yenta mode, he was a wanker. And that, to her, felt justified.

So there they had sat...Snape, Albus, Poppy, and her...staring at Remus. Then the questions had begun. Why was Remus by her office? What had brought him over here? Were they working on a project together? Did they want the kitchen to send up tea and cookies when Remus awoke? Would he be staying the night at his new flat, I mean, office? Luna fended them off, doing what she was learning to do best, which was fudge, fib, and flat out lie. Finally the barrage had ended, and Poppy and Snape had left.

But Albus had stayed and asked more questions. Questions about Neville and Susan, questions about her and Remus. It seemed like he just wouldn't leave her alone. Then when she was imminently close to telling him that it was none of his damn business if she brought up her life with Neville to Remus, Albus yawned and made apologies of tiredness and left.

Here she paced now, annoyed with the thoughts that raced through her head and the guilt that had peeked out of its cage. She was guilty feeling for not telling him the truth, not telling him that she still loved Neville, that she didn't want him. That she hated jogging any day and went to the dancing studio. That she wasn't sorry for lying.

Luna slumped on a chair and sighed. It was a sad truth. She felt guilty for lying, but not sorry. Her heart was something she didn't even think about anymore, because the mere mention of it and its broken state might send her overboard. And then she might hate the one man she loved, very deeply. Throat tightening, Luna willed those thoughts away.

Watching the sleeping Remus, Luna wondered how the Yentas figured they would work. He was old, much older than Neville, and he didn't like dancing, she was sure. Yes, they were both professors, but that surely couldn't count for much. And yes, they both enjoyed reading, and plants, and sitting outdoors, and curling up with a good book under a comfy blanket, and yes, when she was a little girl her dream prince was a sandy, shaggy-haired bloke who would tell her that it was okay to like things that others thought were silly.

Oh, damn, Luna, just admit it. They weren't entirely off their rockers.

She didn't mind Remus. He was nice company, and he cleaned up after himself and wasn't out of shape. But he wasn't soft either. Neville, while fit, always had a bit of a tummy to him--Remus didn't. There was a certain leanness to him, one that lent to a kind of finished look. Despite the amount of chocolate he consumed, he never seemed to gain a pound.

Sighing, she looked up and realized he was staring at her. Luna blinked to make sure it wasn't a trick of light and then asked, quietly, how he was doing.

"Fine. My head feels a bit tricky, but fine. Where are we?" He didn't look around, just watched her, and for once, Luna didn't feel unnerved.

"My study. I had a small bed in here for when I would work late."

He blinked, but didn't shift his head, after a moment; he made a small noise of assent. "Sorry for falling on you."

"Sorry for not being able to hold you up." Luna's lips twitched a little as she realized they both seemed to apologize a lot. Maybe that was part of how they were compatible. Incurably apologetic. Check. Banishing that thought, she continued, "Poppy said when you woke up that you should take this." Holding up a glass to his lips, she didn't notice that he was still watching her.

Remus really didn't know what to think of her at times. One minute, she could seem so willing for them to work out, and the next, practically allergic to the very thought. There were times when he would make her tea and curl up on the other side of the couch and read a book, and she would share the blanket with him. Then later that night, she would get moody and cross and go jogging. She ran so much, he wondered if he should try running, too. Maybe it would help her to know he was interested in getting to know her.

She was beautiful, he thought, as she patiently held the glass while he swallowed the nasty concoction. It wasn't the first time he'd thought it, nor, he imagined, would it be the last. Her golden blond hair was in a ponytail, and her robes weren't anything particularly revealing. She wore no makeup, and she used a very normal kind of chapstick. But she was beautiful to him. The more he learned about her, the more he liked. The Yentas weren't crazy, and seeing Tonks every day did bother him, but it helped him to see that she was happy and that they weren't meant to be together for always.

When he was finished, he made a grimace and watched Luna smile. "Tastes like an old shoe. Snape made it for me, didn't he?"

"I'd be more curious as to how you know what flavor is 'old shoe,' but yes, he showed up and made it for you on site."

Remus watched her brush her hands off on her robes and smiled. It was the first joke she'd cracked, ever. Does that mean...? He kept quiet as she stood, paced a bit, then purposefully inhaled and turned to him.

"Albus said we have tomorrow off by order of the headmaster since we're both up inordinately late, and he wants us to be at the top of our game. He'll make proper excuses and find substitutes. When you're ready to, we can Floo to the flat. I'm going to quickly get some of my books and send them through. Why don't you rest?" Luna breathed and turned to the office room of the study, once again on edge.

Sighing, Remus closed his eyes. So much for hope.

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"And then she made that face and said that she just needs time by herself. You know, I'm not getting any younger, Snape. I would like companionship in my life." Remus was waiting for the potion for his head again, and before realizing it, he'd begun venting to the Potions master.

Snape, meanwhile, was beginning to bristle further at the inordinate amount of information being thrown at him and was desperately trying to ignore all of it while simultaneously act as though he was interested but not enough for said information to continue being given. It was not working. "Lupin, did it ever occur to you that she is a new professor, and she worries about her job and her sudden attachments to you?" Wondering why he cared enough to make a sound argument, he almost missed the fact that the D.A.D.A. professor had clammed up.

Glancing surreptitiously at Lupin, he mentally sighed. "Or did it never cross your mind that she might not just be trying to ignore you?" Pausing, he continued, "Though one can only hope she's learnt to, she was a little slow on the uptake." Snape handed him the bottle without flourish and lifted a sarcastic eyebrow.

Remus nearly missed the insult to Luna while he pondered what Severus had first said and glared at the greasy git. "Luna isn't slow, and at least she doesn't hiss at natural sunlight." With that, he walked out of the room, slamming the door.

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Luna went through the motions of the Laendler last. That was the largest part of her lie, that Neville was coming back and that they would compete. If such was true, she needed to practice their routines. The Laendler was the hardest to do. It was the one that had taken them the shortest time to learn, but it was ultimately the dance that made them want to dance. The Rumba was where they'd fallen in love, but the Laendler was their first time. Their first medal, their first dance, their first taste of glory in some other field than magic.

Finishing the dance slowly, she looked up to see Gregory, a fellow dancer, watching. Smiling, she began walking around slowly, so that stretching later wouldn't be so harsh. "Hi."

Gregory smiled back and joined her walking. "Hi, heard Neville was out at a research site."

Luna nodded. "It's in New Zealand; he'll be back in a month." She breathed and hoped he didn't notice the slight tremble in her voice. Glancing at him to check, Luna realized he was too busy thinking to actually pay attention to things like that.

"I was wondering if you wanted to practice together? You know, just until Neville gets back and I find a new partner." He stopped walking, but Luna continued on.

Shit, she thought. Shit, shit, shit. This was bad. If I say yes, this will mean if he doesn't find a partner in a month and Neville hasn't shown up, I'm going to be his partner. Remus certainly won't dance, so even if that comes up, I'll be with Greg. If I say no somebody will wonder why, and they'll start asking questions. She grimaced. Merlin, I'm so sick of questions.

Thinking further, Luna realized it could be worse. Gregory was talented, he was dark haired and eyed with a tall frame, and he was very fluid. His last partner had gotten into a car accident and that had been the end of their dancing. He knew the dances. He knew some she didn't, and she knew the folk dances. They could work out, even if it might be strange without Neville.

Without Neville was what it really boiled down to.

But if Neville found out Greg and she were dancing, he might get jealous. He might remember the work they'd done, all they'd accomplished, all the history they'd had. He would come back.

He has to come back. He loves me.

"Sure."

A/N: Thanks go out to Sun, my lovely beta, and the readers. I hope this chapter makes you smile. The lyrics in the title and the beginning of the chapter belong to Reliant K, their song, 'Forward Motion,' is one I'd recommend to anyone.

Southern Witch says: Owwwoooo, werewolves of London... in dancing class. (I'm singing music in my head!)