Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

This final part is taken from the song of the same title. As you will notice with some of the words to the song, I thought that this fit Severus very nicely.

All canon characters belong to JKR.

Thank you to June for all of her help in getting this story ready to post.

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Severus heard the rustle of her clothes. Of course it was her.

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to show yourself, Miss Granger.” He then held up his hand, knowing the question that was coming. “Don’t ask me. I do not know when I realized you were out there, in the shadows.”

All the fear has left me now

It’s my mouth that pushes out this breath

Hermione moved around him to stand in his sight of vision.

He looked up at her, remembering her face only slightly. After she and the rest of the Trio graduated, he had only seen her once — the night of the final battle, which was two years after their graduation. It was her body falling to the ground that he remembered seeing; falling from the Killing Curse Draco had hit her with. That was five years ago.

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it

I won't fear love

“I am weary, Hermione.” He did not bother with formalities; he felt there was no longer a need. He sensed she had been watching him for so long, he felt a comfortable familiarity with her now, not really knowing why, but not caring either. “I had hoped to find some peace, some…closure after it was all finished. Yet all I found…all I have is…emptiness. I feel empty and I am tired.” He looked to her. Her eyes glittered with the reflection of the fire. He knew what she was; he had known from the moment he began to sense her these last few years, and he realized how she had survived the Killing Curse.

Companion to our demons

Making darkness in the day

“This world has taken much from you, this life, this time,” she said as she approached him. “That is why I chose to leave. There was nothing for me here. My parents had been killed. And after all was said and done, after Voldemort was defeated, I knew that Harry and Ron would go about their lives. And then, what of me? Where was I to go, what was I to do? Hermione Granger was dead long before that vampire took her life, so long before.” She whispered.

It will be easy

Without a thought

“And now,” he asked, “what have you now?”

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it

I won't fear love

“I don’t know yet. What I have will depend on you.” She held out her hand to him. He looked at her outstretched arm, beckoning for him to grasp her cold hands. “I know what you have lost, Severus. I have heard you all these years. Leave regret behind you and come with me, please.”

Peace in the struggle to find peace

Comfort on the way to comfort

He closed his eyes, so close to finding peace, yet too high a price for it. “I will not be the harbinger of death to any more innocent lives. I have grown as tired of death as I have of life, Hermione.”

She smiled and cocked her head to one side.

“And what sort of a Potions Master cannot make his own Blood Replenishing Potion?”

His eyes grew wide, as he realized how she had lived all these years. She always had been a smart young woman. She had adjusted the potion to suit her needs and lived without having to kill. It was time he found peace. He took her hand and stood, looking down at her for a moment, before she leaned into him and gave him the peace he had desired for so long.

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it

I won't fear love

“Albus?” said Minerva from behind him, where he had been looking out the window for some time. “What is it?”

He smiled and turned to her.

“She has come for him,” he said somberly.

“And?” Minerva sobbed.

“And they have gone, together. They will finally be at peace, Minerva.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hope you enjoyed this. In this story I saw Severus as a man who had lost so much from such an early age. I felt that after the war he desired the one thing he never really had which was peace and comfort and Hermione offered that to him.