Circular Conversations

Looking at her inquisitively, Severus raised an eyebrow. “No, I have some. I was asking if the name meant anything to you,” he pressed again.

Frowning in thought, she said, “But we already discussed Professor Dumbledore.”

He let out a breath of tensed patience. “No, I meant Professor McGonagall,” he tried for a second time. But, as he looked at her, her face went blank once more.

His brow furrowed. Well, this could be a problem, he thought. If the girl couldn’t hear Minerva’s last name without losing her senses, what would she do if Minerva presented herself to her? This was a big problem.

Fleetingly, he was glad she was prepared and smirked, looking around, shaking his head. The cave looked as though she lived there already, and until they knew how she would react to Minerva, he planned to keep her here once Minerva returned. At the moment, it seemed the only solution. At present, there was no one at the castle. Their plan had been for him to abduct Serena, bring her here to ensure she wasn’t an imposter, then bring her to Hogwarts to await Albus’ and Minerva’s return.

Minerva had gone to the United States to find Adelaide while Albus took care of other business. Severus scowled. Business the Headmaster wouldn’t share with anyone – it was maddening. Since he now knew Adelaide was dead, he figured Minerva would be back sooner than the two weeks they had perceived. And although Albus was due back in just a few days, with Serena’s current reaction to Minerva’s name, that short time span loomed impossibly before him. What am I going to do with her for three days?

That gave them more time to get to know one another without prying eyes. He also had more time to study this strange thing that happened to her when he mentioned Minerva’s last name. Emerging from his thoughts, he glanced at her. She sat there with a vacant look. Raising his brows in surprise, he moved closer to her. He hadn’t meant to leave her there for so long.

“Serena,” Severus called gently, taking her hand in his. Rapidly, her eyes cleared, and she looked at him, a sweet smile gracing her mouth. Suddenly, a look of worry came over her face.

“Severus? What’s wrong?” She felt his worry, saw it on his face. As she watched, he looked down and seemed reluctant to tell her. “Please,” she begged, wanting to ease his unrest.

How could he tell her, he wondered. There was more – there had to be. “I was trying to tell you about your great-aunt,” he began.

She snorted. “Adelaide was many things, but I don’t think great would be a word I would use,” she chuckled.

“No, I meant your great-aunt who works at Hogwarts,” he informed, watching her. He saw her eyes widen, her mouth opening to form an O.

“I… I have an aunt – a great-aunt – who’s still alive?” she squeaked, awe in her voice.

So far, so good. He pressed on. “Yes, her name is Minerva,” he told her and observed. Again… the empty stare. This is troublesome. She must be under some kind of spell. How he wished Albus was here for some insight. “Serena?” He shook her slightly.

“Yes? Oh, would you like some tea?” she questioned with an exuberant smile, reaching for the teapot.

Clenching his jaw, Severus put out his hand to stop her from reaching it. This was getting on his nerves. “No, I have some already. We were discussing your great-aunt,” he told her again, just barely keeping the annoyance from his voice.

“Well, I wouldn’t call Adelaide great by any means.” She snorted again slightly.

“No, no… Your great-aunt who works at Hogwarts,” he explained once more, exasperated.

“I… I have an aunt – a great-aunt – who’s still alive?” she asked with awe in her voice all over again. “What’s her name?” she inquired, looking at him with hope.

Pain rose in his chest. “I can’t tell you,” he told her, not wanting to have to repeat himself yet again. Their conversation was going in circles. It was enough to make one dizzy.

“And why not?” Her anger was rising.

“Because every time I say the name, you get a blank expression and forget what was being said,” he told her bluntly.

Shock mounted on her face, followed closely by realization. “A curse…” she rasped painfully, despair crossing her face. Such despair and pain he could hardly bear it. He looked away.

“That is it! I have been cursed. But who would do—”

“How do you come to the conclusion that you are under a curse?” he asked, looking down his nose at her. “Perhaps it is a simple spell, easily remedied.” The words sounded untrue, even to his ears.

“The nagging in my bones? Never staying in one place for more than a few weeks at a time?” she queried, looking at him hard. “Now you say I forget everything when you mention my great-aunt’s name? It can be none other than a curse. At least it seems so to me.” She gazed at him sadly.

She looked like her world was falling around her, and he couldn’t stand it. There was an ache in his chest for her. She was so young, and she had her whole life ahead of her. Maybe it was a curse as she said.

Would her whole life be spent never stopping, always going? Never having a constancy that was a normal human want? Always searching for something, having it so close and never being able to cling to it? Never having companionship for more than mere weeks at a time? Some of these wants were ones he understood all too well. And what of love? He gasped suddenly at that word, pushed it away. Yet he felt her need and realized if it were him, he might perchance go mad.

He frowned. “How long was it you say you have been traveling?” he asked to stop his rampant thoughts from swirling out of control.

“Eight years,” she stated dejectedly. “It feels as if I am searching for something, but I have no idea what it is. However, I am ecstatic about my great-aunt. I thought I was the only one of my family left,” she added a little more brightly.

“Well, your great-aunt is from your mother’s side. They all thought you were dead. It would seem you have a few relatives left.” He gave a slight smile, attempting to turn her spirits around. “What was your mother’s name?” he inquired, lifting a brow.

A smile came across her face as she thought of her mother. “Sss….” Raising hysterical eyes to him, a hiss came out of her mouth, and one hand came up to her head. “Oh, my God, I don’t know! How can I not know my mother’s name?” she entreated agonizingly, her eyes darting back and forth as she searched frantically in her head for the name. Her eyes landed on him, the pain in their depths renewed and tears glistened on her thick lashes, threatening to spill.

He felt it again, that tug in his chest. “Sh, hush now, Serena, it’s all right. I can tell you her name, but I’m afraid if I say it, you may forget what we have discussed again. So let’s leave it for now,” he told her softly, compassion rising in his chest.

She nodded, her lips quivering, and he opened his arms to her. Falling into them, she clung to him, her body shuddering, as great, deep sobs were torn from her chest. He tightened his hold around her and began to rock her gently, like she was a child. He was surprised when the movement did not bother him because it wasn’t something he would normally do, but it felt right.

His shirt was wet with her tears, and her hands clutched it as her desolation rose. He wondered who would want to curse her. Pondering this thought, he stroked her back and remembered what she and Minerva had said of Adelaide. The woman had very limited magical ability; she had been practically a Squib, but people could be hired – or worse – sometimes Squibs could perform a curse, though it was rare. However, if Adelaide had some magical ability, she could have done this to Serena. That was something he would have to look into.

His thoughts returned to Serena – her sobs were starting to subside. Sighing gently, he rested his chin on top of her head and spoke softly to her. “Serena, please stop. I will help you. We will all help you.” He took her by the arms and gently raised her away from him.

Looking at him, a tear rolled down her nose, which she hastily wiped away with her sleeve and sniffled, averting her face. Tenderly, he placed a finger beneath her chin, tugging it up so her eyes met his.

“Okay,” she croaked. Hiccupping slightly, she murmured, “Thank you.”

“I know this has been a difficult piece of information, but knowing your great-aunt, I have no doubt of your backbone.” Serena found a timid smile at that statement.

He stood, offering his hand to help her up. Closing her eyes a moment, she took his warm palm, letting him lift her to her feet and lead her to the bed. There, he bid her to lie down, the bed dipping when she sat down, gazing up at him. Briefly, his hand caressed her cheek, and his dark eyes met hers.

“Sleep will help,” he murmured. “We will talk more in the morning; please get some rest.” Straightening, he moved to settle on the floor. Leaning up against the cave wall, he closed his eyes.

Staring after him, Serena called to him softly, her voice a gentle plea, “Severus?”

Opening his eyes, he stared at her. It had been a desperate bid; a denial of what he felt for her. He needed to give her time – them time – but they had already jumped the gun, and this seemed pointless. He was trying to be noble, but he was no Gryffindor.

“Please stay with me,” she pleaded. “I can’t see you sleeping on the floor when there’s plenty of room here.” She patted the vacant space beside her. “I just need you near me, nothing more.” She held up her hand to make a sign. “Girl Scouts Honor.” She smiled at him, a little teasingly.

Severus frowned questioningly at her. “What’s—”

“A Girl Scout?” She smiled a little brighter. “It’s an organization in America that provides upstanding morals and encourages teamwork for young girls. I seem to remember them encouraging this through camping trips and other activities – and no, I never was one.”

He smirked at that. Slowly, Severus rose and crossed to the bed where he lay down next to her.

“Thank you,” she told him simply, snuggling up against him.

“Here…” Moving his arm around her, he held her close, allowing her to lay her head on his chest.

“Mm, very nice.” She sighed contently.

“Yes, well, go to sleep. It will do you good,” he instructed.

“Yes, Professor,” she whispered, smiling gently as she closed her eyes.

Looking down at her briefly, Severus then rested his chin on top of her head and hugged her tighter to him. He was worried about what had been done to her. How would it affect her? How would it affect Minerva? He felt powerless, and that was a feeling he abhorred. Especially since this woman seemed to be burrowing her way into his thoughts constantly.

Pushing his worry aside, he reminded himself that tomorrow they would begin the search for answers. Slowly, he closed his eyes, and before long, he drifted off to sleep wrapped in the warmth that was Serena.

A/N: My sincere thanks go to karelia for her awesome beta abilities. I am beginning to wonder how I can ever repay her.