An Uninvited Wedding Guest
Chapter 3 of 8
nataHermione and Ron try to sneak away from Bill and Fleur's wedding reception.
ReviewedWarnings: All warnings for this story refer primarily to this chapter. Please, beware that there is abuse, torture, character death and a bit of language.
When Mr. and Mrs. Weasley entered the kitchen in Harry's house a while later, they were so tired from lack of sleep the previous night that they didn't notice the abysmal atmosphere between Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny.
"When can we return home, Dad?"
"Not for some time, Ron." Mr. Weasley rubbed his eyebrow and sighed. "No visible damage is apparent on the house, but we couldn't detect any magic either. So we must all stay here meanwhile."
"Strange."
"Why?" Hermione and Harry failed to see anything strange, much less unsafe, about not detecting any spells on a home. To them, lack of damage and lack of spells translated to lack of danger.
"Magical houses are always charmed." Mrs. Weasley sat down and poured her husband and herself a cup of tea. "Transfigured furniture, enlarged cupboards, changed wall colour."
"You refurbish by magic?" Hermione was amazed.
"Often. And repair too."
"So if we can't detect even spells we placed on the house ourselves, that must mean that the Death Eaters are trying to hide something that they did to it." Mr. Weasley sipped his tea.
"Kingsley and Tonks managed to focus their magicmeters enough to see a large strong mark placed around midnight last night. Its nature isn't very harmful by itself. Kingsley says that it is in slightly uncomfortable range. But we couldn't say what it turns into when triggered, and hence cannot assess the danger until we break the Anti-Detection Wards." Mr. Weasley tiredly sighed. "It might take a while."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hermione, come with me." Ron stretched out a hand to his girlfriend with sparks in his eyes. She took it with a sensual smile, and they quietly sneaked out from Bill and Fleur's wedding reception.
Given the war time, the wedding was surprisingly large. Fleur insisted on glamour, and Bill was determined to give it to his veela bride. She was only part veela, but he was fully enchanted. Hence, the Order of the Phoenix had to grant security, and at the late hour all members were easily distinguished from regular wedding guests by uncommon soberness.
Ron and Hermione watched Tonks as she patrolled around the reception area and waited until she walked up to Lupin. They met for a chaste kiss, but when Lupin tried to pull away, Tonks slid her arms around his neck and deepened their kiss. Lupin glanced around before he committed fully to cherishing Tonks' inviting mouth. He caressed her lips with his tongue and gently bit them. Tonks' hair burst in change, and Hermione breathlessly watched the rainbow colours slide down the length of her hair in waves of growing passion. She experienced waves of her own as Ron's hand found its way to her chest, pinched her nipple and caressed her breast.
She leaned to his touch and moaned, "I want you, Ron."
"Come."
They ran further into the dark, hazed by too much butterbeer and lust, until they stopped, panting, in a small hidden alcove. They crushed into each other's arms, their lips meeting in a fierce kiss. They hungrily tasted each other, finally giving in to the desire that had burned them from the inside the whole day of meeting half-dressed, faces flushed from hurrying, bare shoulders of Hermione's dress robes, tightness of Ron's robes and stolen intimate touches.
Ron's robes were too revealing, his erection blatantly evident whenever he saw Hermione. He needed her. He was intoxicated. How could he have survived so many years next to her without touching her, holding her? He actually suspected that his mother had gotten him those damned robes on purpose, to keep him composed and behaving. He was taking dose after dose of Deflating Draught to avoid his mother's suspicion of the extent of her youngest son's maturity, until Hermione was concerned that he might overdose and never recover. Well, if she was so worried, she was about to deal with the consequences. Ron hadn't taken the Draught since the ceremony started, and his erection was now pressing hard against Hermione's belly.
He traced her neck with kisses, eliciting sweet moans from Hermione. He held her pressed tightly against him and slid the strip of her dress down her shoulder, tracing its path with his tongue. She rocked her hips forward to meet his hard cock. He exposed her breast, and she moved her hand to his buttocks to ease his access and arched back. Ron sucked her nipple fiercely, caressing the small of her back with one hand and roaming across her ribs to tease her other breast. He freed it and stepped back to admire the view. Hermione whined at the loss, but decided to play the game. She slid her hands up her hips, shifting her weight from leg to leg slightly, and slowly brought her palms up to cup her breasts. Her cheeks were slightly pink, her swollen lips bright red and her shining eyes deep brown. Ron could not stand it. He rushed to her and attacked the clips holding her robes to her form. He did not finish.
A white little terrier interrupted them.
'Mum is looking for you! Return!'
Hermione was coldly unamused by the cheerful dog, whereas Ron openly gritted his teeth and groaned.
"I bet this message made her deadly happy! She surely could've died from bliss. 'Mum is looking for you!' 'Mum is looking for you!' That unfucked bitch! That must have been such an easy Patronus to conjure!"
"It's your sister you are talking about."
"But she interrupts! And she relishes it! I want you. I want you so much. I don't care anymore what my sister does or with whom, as long as I can make love to you." Ron grabbed her shoulders, and pulled her closer to him.
"She is trying to help. Don't make it harder than it is. Your Mum." Hermione slid her hand down his back, across his arse, and moved towards his groin. Ron closed his eyes and groaned with expected pleasure.
"Am I the one making this harder?"
"Yes, you are. Now, take this." Hermione's hand found his pocket. She stepped back and handed him yet another vial of the Deflating Draught. Ron grunted in frustration, cupped her hand with the vial in both of his, blew on the sensitive skin on her wrist and pulled her close once more. He planted a chaste kiss on the valley between her breasts, whispered, "I'll be back," and covered her chest with her robe.
"I'll dress myself rather." Hermione shivered. "You are driving me insane. Just take the potion and get back. I'll be right behind you."
Ron knocked the contents of the vial in, took a deep breath, and disappeared towards the lights.
Hermione watched his silhouette blend in with other people, embraced herself and sighed. Another interrupted attempt. So much for making love to Ron. She shivered and rubbed the goosebumps on her upper arms. Without Ron, she was chilly. She felt a slight breeze from beside her and reached back to cover her shoulder with her hair.
Her hand brushed against some fabric.
She startled, turned, and saw a hovering, black-hooded figure in a white mask.
She screamed and reached for her wand.
Two things failed to happen.
No voice came from her throat.
And she had no wand.
"Too late, sweetie." The Death Eater laughed harshly as he waved her wand in front of her.
"Silenced, my dear." He flicked his wand towards her and laughed. "Silenced, restricted and at my disposal. You hot little chick. You must be soaking wet. Let's make some use of it if he deserted you like that. Let's make this duty a bit pleasanter."
He threw Hermione's wand into the dark, ripped her robes open, and shoved his hand between her legs.
"Yesss. Ready," he hissed.
Hermione could still move, but her limbs were heavy. So, so heavy. She strained her muscles to lift her arms and push him away.
"Oh, sweetie wants to fight. Yesss. Fight. I like it rough."
Hermione wanted to run. To make a dive for her wand. It must be somewhere close. She fought to lift a leg, but it was too heavy, and she lost her balance. He fell with her, grinning. She was slow. So very, very slow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Professor McGonagall entered the full kitchen back at Grimmauld Place.
"Hermione regained consciousness at St. Mungo's. More than by her injuries, she was threatened by extreme exhaustion. The Healers say that she will recover."
"Thank you." Ron's eyes filled with tears as all his pain and guilt rushed to the surface. He had returned to search for Hermione after she hadn't come back to the wedding, only to find her at the same spot. Naked. Bleeding. Unconscious. Professor McGonagall took over and strictly prohibited Ron to accompany her to the hospital.
"Physically, at least." Minerva McGonagall felt her own grief pressing her chest and prohibiting her to breathe. "St. Mungo's refrains from Memory Charms until their patients recover enough to decide for themselves to what extent they want to have their mind altered and in what situation they want to find themselves in after the procedure. As it is, Hermione refused to let anyone tamper with her mind when she awakened. She has full recollection of what happened to her until she fainted."
"My poor, brave girl," Mrs. Weasley sobbed. "My poor, brave girl."
Faces of others were similarly downtrodden. Lupin tightly held Tonks and placed gentle kisses on her grey hair; Arthur Weasley stood behind Ron and squeezed his shoulders; Hagrid blew hard into his huge handkerchief; and Mad-Eye Moody took out his magical eye and slowly polished it.
"Can I visit her?" Ron hoped. He needed to see her. He wanted to tell her he loved her, to let her know he was sorry for letting that happen to her, to tell her that he still wanted her.
"I'm afraid not, Ron. She is hysterical even if male Healers are in her room, let alone if they try to approach her. She will need time."
"Tomorrow then?" Ron didn't let go.
"Much longer, I'd say. Weeks, perhaps months," Professor McGonagall clarified.
"But we were planning to leave right after the Apparition tests in two days to... to..." Harry managed to refrain from revealing his search for Horcruxes even in such distress.
"If you must go, then go without her." Professor McGonagall saved him from confusion, deciding not to press the matter of Harry's intentions again.
"But we need her with us!" Ron sounded desperate.
"Leave her behind. Let her recover. Please," the stern, strict, firm Hogwarts Professor of Transfiguration pleaded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"My Lord, you wished to see me." A Death Eater knelt before Lord Voldemort in a subordinate, respectful position.
To return the polite greeting, the Dark Lord flicked his wand, and a stone flew from the pavement into the Death Eater's face with such force that it flipped the man in a somersault.
"Give me a report of your duty last night, Yaxley." Voldemort's slit nostrils flared.
"I patrolled the blood traitors' wedding, My Lord. A young couple came out, and attempted to fuck, but didn't."
Voldemort extended his wand and held it at arm's length. Yaxley watched his fingers in horror, his face twisting with pain. His nails snapped off one after the other, and he clutched his hands in his armpits, trying hard to suppress his whimpers.
"And?"
"The bloke left the chick in the alcove half naked. I silenced her, restricted her, and gave her a lesson, My Lord." Yaxley clutched his throat. Voldemort suffocated him with tender circles of his wand until his face turned purple.
"A lesson?"
"I fucked the bitch, My Lord, and left her dead."
Voldemort pointed his wand at Yaxley's groin, his trousers vanished, and a ring appeared on his cock, semi-hardened from the choking sensation.
"She is not dead. You were thinking of your own pleasure and failed to verify."
The ring tightened.
"You not only failed to search for me when I first disappeared sixteen years ago, but you've betrayed me again now."
The ring tightened more.
"My Lord, I didn't..."
"You failed to bring me the prisoner."
The ring snapped shut.
Yaxley yelled in agony as his cock fell off. "I didn't know you wanted captives, My Lord!"
"You failed to bring me Hermione Granger!"
All Yaxley's hopes for survival drowned in realisation.
"Crucio!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione lay in a hospital bed, strangely content and apathetic. She realised that her calmness was only and exclusively a magical reaction, but she didn't care. One of those potions that the Healers kept pouring down her throat must have been responsible for it. Yes, she remembered everything. Yes, she still felt dirty, worthless, hateful. But she didn't care now. The potion detached those feelings from her consciousness and attached them to some other character that was still within her, but not quite herself.
She had even managed to endure Ron's visit a while ago.
Professor McGonagall said he had been adamant about coming to see her. He said a lot of nice things that she didn't listen to. As a matter of fact, she didn't really hear them. She was concentrating so hard on using her logic to fight the swelling, nauseating emotions of having Ron next to her. She loved him. Why the urge to throw up?
It had been she who had sent him away. It had been both of their desires that drove them past security. It had been her lust too that interested the Death Eater. But then, directing the guilt to herself was so unbearable that she couldn't deal with Ron coolly. She loved him.
And she sent him away.
She could see the pain in his eyes as she cut short his proclamation of love and told him to leave. She could see his despair when she yelled and got sick despite the Calming Draught as he tried to hold her hand to persuade her.
She used to love Ron dearly in her previous life.
In this new life she had nothing.
Just this potion-induced dumb emptiness lightly penetrated by guilt and hate.
Hermione opened her eyes as she felt rather than heard a surreal sound. Immediately she wished she had kept her eyes shut. She had seen another Death Eater's Patronus. She didn't want to be reminded of Death Eaters. Ever again. It was sure to deliver a message to her. She didn't want to hear it. She certainly didn't want to hear what Snape had to tell her. Yet, she reached for her wand and retrieved the Patronus message.
'Miss Granger, Dark Lord tortured Yaxley to death. I'm sorry to say, he didn't die because of what he did to you, but because he didn't bring you to the Master.'
Strange message. A consolation from Snape. Somehow it had managed to lift a little bit of hate from the other person within her. She pondered how queer Snape must have felt when he made himself ultimately happy about the words 'I'm sorry' as she drifted to dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Thanks to my beta, KD, for her suggestions and support. This chapter is meant to be intense and I hope I succeeded. Your opinions would be very appreciated.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Cleared of the Murder
28 Reviews | 6.5/10 Average
It was an intense chapter. So much anguish in the aftermath. Wonderful writing.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, an unanswered review. Oops! Thank you for your compliment.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, an unanswered review. Oops! Thank you for your compliment.
I really enjoyed reading this story. I especially loved the epilogue. You write a deliciously snarky Snape, and for that I thank you!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I'm delighted to hear that you liked my take on Snape. He is a charmer the way he is, isn't he?
excellent story. i think you handled the rape spot on. congrats on featured story, it's well deserved. thanks for sharing your vision and talent.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it very much.
This should be at with the Epilogue, as I have read the whole story and enjoyed it ... but I started to reread the first chapter when it occured to me that in your opening line you have Mundungus Fletcher at the Order meeting. Granted, I don't think it's nailed down tight in canon as to how long he was to stay, but the last we knew of Fletcher in HBP, he was in Azkaban and Harry wasn't happy with him.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Hm, that did not occur to me. As far as I was able to check (HP Lexicon), he was sent to Azkaban for impersonating an Inferius during an attempted burglary. He could have been released within months for such a minor crime. Theoretically, if the Ministry did not accuse him of spreading panic and lock him for good on their policy that they need to arrest someone, he could have been free by the first meeting in this story without Harry knowing - hence, without mention in canon.There. An explanation. But only as an afterthought. In fact, I missed that. Thank you for your comment, I will think about a different character that could serve the purpose.
As I mentioned on Ashwinder allready - I like the ways the dialogues are led, so I have to rate this story also here.Congratulations to the second closing and I am looking very very much forward to the dragon (nudge nudge - when wil you finish them ?!?!?!?)
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for all those stars! The dragons are on their way - see my lj for more updates.
Thank you -- that's much better!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
I'm very happy that it has done the job for you.
Nicely done. I love the Vacuum reference, too. :-)
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you. 'Walk Through the Fire' is a captivating story, but that potion definitely deserves a working antidote. Even though they might never find it in Wonderful's plot plan, they have a good chance in this one.
I love this story. Absolutely love it. While I don't fully understand the cube graph things or the magicmeters, I get the concept behind them and I think they're very clever. I think you handled Hermione's rape in a very mature way, and I'm glad that you didn't just brush it off like some writers do, that you allowed Hermione to have those after-feelings and crazy emotions. I hope you update this soon and can't wait to read more!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
What a very lovely message to find early in the morning! Thank you for making me smile. I'm very happy that you liked the story. The epilogue has now been sent to my beta.
You developed some really intriguing ideas. Have you given any thought to what might happen next? I'd be very interested to see it, if you ever write it.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you. I've just sent an epilogue to my beta and a sequel is well on its way. However, I will start posting it only once it is completed. I kind of like this universe, so there definitely will be more.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
I'm very glad to hear it! I understand not wanting to post until done - there's always the possibility something you do in a later chapter will make you want to tweak something in chapter 1, after all.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
It does not usually happen to me. I tend to plan the story beforehand to a considerable detail - plotwise, not method-wise. My hessitation is rather due to the fact that I often have long hiatuses between intensive writing sessions, and I don't want my readers to suffer the wait. *sigh*
I like ths story so far, its looking good.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I'm posting the next chapter today.
Interesting thoughts on the conditins Snape has set and the Patronus messages. I wonder why none of them can see at least the possibility that his concern is for it to fall into Voldemort's hands. I look forward to reading more.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
They are generally suspitious about anything Snape does in these conditions. They had trusted him, most of them reluctantly, and he marched right up to the Astronomy Tower and shattered their trust in the worst possible way. They view his actions as dubious - to put it mildly. Thanks for reviewing each chapter. It feels wonderful!
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
Oh, I totally understand their suspicions and sense of betrayal. I just want to knock their heads together for missing it. Glad you're enjoying the reviews!
Oh, I just love Mr. Granger's misinterpretation of the magicmeter's readings. Nice touch!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
;-) Thanks! I'm happy that you interpreted the magic of love and the owl otherwise.
It is intense indeed. I think you have rendered her response very well.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I tried my best.
I like how you've balanced the possibilities here. Snape could realistically still be on either side.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
We won't know until HP7, will we? Perhaps his true loyalty will remain a mistery even afterwards. I, however, believe that he might get a chance to be redeemed in canon.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
That's what I'm hoping, too.
I find your magicmeter idea very intriguing, especially the way it maps out Albus' magic for the days leading up to his death. Onward to chapter 2!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you! I'm glad you like it!
This ain't half bad, I'm baffled as to why nobody reviews!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you so much for being so generous and leave me four reviews in a day. You were wonderful, you really made my day. Reviews are possitively addictive, and a writer can never have enough.
That magicmeter sounds interesting!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you! It's also almost canon. Almost. Except that Jo does not like science. I do.
Poor Hermione! I can understand her reaction to Ron, though.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
I agree. I still feel guilty for putting her through such horrors, but it was necessary to separate her from Ron and Harry were quickly and abruptly.
Promising start!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much! I hope you will like the rest of the story too.
Interesting ideas. The letter from Hermione's dad at the end particularly intrigues me.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for your review. There certainly is a reason for the way those letters are worded. I hope you will enjoy revelation behind them in chapter 7.
I can't believe that nobody's reviewed this story yet. You've done a good job so far and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
One small thing, though—in this chapter you have Ron saying "Potter's friends would be more valuable to them alive" in a conversation with Harry and Hermione. It seems a bit odd to have him saying this, especially since the remark seems to be directed towards Harry and doesn't appear to be a quote.
Otherwise, though, good work so far. Keep it up!Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you VERY much for your review. In fact, it is the second, but my first review on this site was lost during the server breakdown on Monday.The way I picture Ron in that scene is that he is sitting a bit apart from the girls and Harry, deep in thought. He tries to contemplate what had happened and he still does not understand why the DEs did not harm Hermione, but rather attempted to capture her. Therefore, being lost in thoughts about Death Eaters, Ron says rather 'Potter's friends' then 'us' or 'your friends'.
Response from Pennfana (Reviewer)
Ah, I see. It still seems a bit odd, but I understand your reasoning now.
Fast-paced chapter... very good. I enjoyed the argument as they dissected Snape's motives; Harry was sceptical and blinkered and Hermione typically open and objective. The cube idea is a very good one, although, I'm wondering about the two variables on one axis? Did you have time versus spell strength as part of the magicmeter function? Were the cubes discussed by Tonks, displaying the same data as the 'graph' generated by Minerva's magicmeter?The way I read it, the magicmeter slope was time versus spell strength; it also generated a sort of ballistics analysis of the spell being cast (am I way off?).The cube discussed by Tonks, reminded me of the spirometry graphs you can get, where the quadrants relate to a particular lung function/dysfunction--upper left quadrant may indicate emphysema, for example, and lower left, asthma (just an illustration, as I don't know exactly how the chart works), and the placement within that quadrant suggest a severity of the observed condition. I extrapolated from that, to think that the placement of the light within the cube indicated the type and strength of the spell at the time of the test, and conveying the efficacy of the spell, i.e. how effective that particular spell would have been, dependant upon it's location within the cube.I did struggle to see how Tonks could have deduced from the results that Dumbledore could have been killed by any charm, even if it was a Healng Charm, but I liked the idea and thought that it was a lovely irony.Either way, I enjoyed the chapter; the structure matched the content incredibly well, and I was caught up in it. Wonderful.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
The magical charts. Yes. An enigma. The magicmeter measures magical residues (what stays around after magic has it an object, imagine it as vibration, or a comet tail) in time. Magical residues can represent magic around a person, something like a personal scent, or as you say the spell strength. That is Minerva's chart. She sets one chart for magical residues of Dumbledore's corpse and one for a specific spell, the Killing Curse.Tonks uses more sophisticated device. Where McGonagall has to tune her magicmeter for every specific spell she wants to test, Tonks has a third dimension in her results, marking if the spell was good or bad. The axis then show time, spell strength and intent/goodness. The spirometry analogy you mention might apply to a certain extent. With this, one can also more or less diagnose the spell.Tonks also creates a death probability chart, and we do not see the device she uses for those measurements. I expect that it is based on changes in individual's magical signature, or residues in time, but I'm not certain it can be measured directly with a magicmeter as I envision it. Good point,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
. Maybe it is a way of recalculating the values given by a magicmeter. I'll have to think about that. In any case, Tonks had known that by the time Dumbledore lay crumpled on the Astronomy Tower, he was so weakened that he was basically dead all by himself - probability of his death has been more or less 95-100% since the moment he began to desire water from the Inferi infested lake.Thank you very much for your reviews.nata
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
The magical charts. Yes. An enigma. The magicmeter measures magical residues (what stays around after magic has it an object, imagine it as vibration, or a comet tail) in time. Magical residues can represent magic around a person, something like a personal scent, or as you say the spell strength. That is Minerva's chart. She sets one chart for magical residues of Dumbledore's corpse and one for a specific spell, the Killing Curse.Tonks uses more sophisticated device. Where McGonagall has to tune her magicmeter for every specific spell she wants to test, Tonks has a third dimension in her results, marking if the spell was good or bad. The axis then show time, spell strength and intent/goodness. The spirometry analogy you mention might apply to a certain extent. With this, one can also more or less diagnose the spell.Tonks also creates a death probability chart, and we do not see the device she uses for those measurements. I expect that it is based on changes in individual's magical signature, or residues in time, but I'm not certain it can be measured directly with a magicmeter as I envision it. Good point,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
. Maybe it is a way of recalculating the values given by a magicmeter. I'll have to think about that. In any case, Tonks had known that by the time Dumbledore lay crumpled on the Astronomy Tower, he was so weakened that he was basically dead all by himself - probability of his death has been more or less 95-100% since the moment he began to desire water from the Inferi infested lake.Thank you very much for your reviews.nata
Excellent start, and the magicmeter and associated data is a remarkable idea: magical forensic evidence. The concept opens up a whole new area of fanfiction. I admit that I smirked at Diggle's cynicism about trying to think happy thoughts when dodging curses, and I appreciate Tonk's observation about perspective being the key.I hope that you delve into the theory behind Minerva's evidence, as the scientist in me was sitting on the edge of the seat, begging for more--really appreciate the depth of thought that went into that scene. I'm also very happy to see someone wondering about why Dumbledore was hurled from the Tower--I had seen it as some ploy on JKR's part as to his survival; alas, no!Minerva's needed and desperate stoicism was lovely to read! You wrote her as being human and not some convenient character--as you defined all the characters. It's good to see that the characters actually feel.I'm waffling now, so I'll stop.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, no, please don't stop! It is so wonderful to read and read into your review. Thank you very much for it!Magical forensics now has its own original story. This year I have been trying to get it published (in Czech). Unsuccessful so far. Well, it is rather weird and I'm not that good an author, so it is no wonder. It deals with concepts from here - what signatures magic leaves, what physical principles are involved in spells, how that can affect molecular processes in a cell... That sounds rather like a lecture, doesn't it? I tried to convey it in a story of an immortal wizard having his heart transplanted into a non-magical girl. The reviewers so far like the idea, dislike my language and my characterisation. So, it is very nice to find your review here praise my take on characters.Thank you,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
,nata
Response from sweetflag (Reviewer)
Lecture away... I love the idea. I hinted at the suggestion of magical forensics in another fanfic, but I shied away from having to think, so I left it there. The knowledge that you've done an original story involving those principles makes me very curious. Is it avaialble to read? Hang on... it is in Czech. That will cause problems... lol. Not that good an author? No. There has to be another reason. I'm not fawning, but I find your style of writing to be fascinating, but I admit that I'm no professional critic or good author myself. I find it difficult to write the characters in HP fanfics because I'm only borrowing them, and I like them to be as close to how they are presented in the books so that my stories are more fitting for that environment. It's hard, and I much prefer original characters as the reader will have no preconceived ideas and expectations about them. The fact that characterisation has been frowned upon in your original piece is quite a surprise.As for getting it published, I wish you all the best with that and remind you that Charlotte Bronte had little success at first :), neither did JKR, if memory serves. Maybe you could get a second pair of eyes to read through and suggest a more reader-friendly phrase or two? I just had a flash of a magic-noir... a detective drama akin to the Maltese falcon... lol. I'll read the next chapters as soon as... the family beckons, and I have to read stories... Winnie the Pooh :D
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, no, please don't stop! It is so wonderful to read and read into your review. Thank you very much for it!Magical forensics now has its own original story. This year I have been trying to get it published (in Czech). Unsuccessful so far. Well, it is rather weird and I'm not that good an author, so it is no wonder. It deals with concepts from here - what signatures magic leaves, what physical principles are involved in spells, how that can affect molecular processes in a cell... That sounds rather like a lecture, doesn't it? I tried to convey it in a story of an immortal wizard having his heart transplanted into a non-magical girl. The reviewers so far like the idea, dislike my language and my characterisation. So, it is very nice to find your review here praise my take on characters.Thank you,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
,nata
Response from sweetflag (Reviewer)
Lecture away... I love the idea. I hinted at the suggestion of magical forensics in another fanfic, but I shied away from having to think, so I left it there. The knowledge that you've done an original story involving those principles makes me very curious. Is it avaialble to read? Hang on... it is in Czech. That will cause problems... lol. Not that good an author? No. There has to be another reason. I'm not fawning, but I find your style of writing to be fascinating, but I admit that I'm no professional critic or good author myself. I find it difficult to write the characters in HP fanfics because I'm only borrowing them, and I like them to be as close to how they are presented in the books so that my stories are more fitting for that environment. It's hard, and I much prefer original characters as the reader will have no preconceived ideas and expectations about them. The fact that characterisation has been frowned upon in your original piece is quite a surprise.As for getting it published, I wish you all the best with that and remind you that Charlotte Bronte had little success at first :), neither did JKR, if memory serves. Maybe you could get a second pair of eyes to read through and suggest a more reader-friendly phrase or two? I just had a flash of a magic-noir... a detective drama akin to the Maltese falcon... lol. I'll read the next chapters as soon as... the family beckons, and I have to read stories... Winnie the Pooh :D
I've really enjoyed this story very much. Particularly the magic-meter bits (Wonder why so few fics speculate on the science of magic? It is such a logical topic for Hermione to be speculating about) and the dialogue between Severus and Hermione. I would have liked for it to be longer, but can also see why this could be a logical place to stop. One thing though. Hermione's ordeal. Was that just a plot-point to make her return to Hogwarts and seperate her from her friends? If that is the case, it seems a rather harsh one. All in all I feel perhaps the aftereffects could have been addressed more, considerating how awful what she went through is....
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I believe that the reason why science of magic is rare in fanfiction is the fact that the writer must know quite a bit about it. Here, I used bits of chemistry and engineering, but it is nothing compared to amazing science dialogues in ubiquirk's Ladder. Wonderful, wonderful scientific discussions there.Hermione's rape was there purely for the purpose of quickly separating her from Ron and giving her a reason to fully concentrate on something else then direct Horcrux hunt. She shouln't also grieve about her failed relationship with Ron (if I took that course), while I wanted to keep it HBP compliant. I'm sorry it had to be done. It's a terrible thing to go through. She was very much ashamed (not even telling her parents), wanted to avoid any humans she could (hiding away in Snape's lab), focused on a task that could consume her mind and keep it off the memories (research). That's what I would have done. I think, having not had the experience.
Is it really over? I want more. It feels like there should be more to it.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Yes, this is the end. All aspects that I intended to deal with in this story have been closed. However, I'm considering an epilogue. Several people at Ashwinder also noted that I ended this too quickly. Since readers are very important for every writer, I take such suggestions to my heart. And although I already have an almost finished sequel, an epilogue is definitely an option too.