Coming Out
Chapter 2 of 8
nataThe Order retrieves Harry from his last stay with the Dursleys, and Hermione launches into classical Snape defence.
ReviewedHarry's suitcase was packed, and he was sitting on it in the middle of his room at the Dursleys'. He was alert despite the late hour, his wand ready. Today, at midnight, he would come of age in the wizarding world and his mother's protection would cease. Harry expected that Voldemort would attack him then. Everybody had been expecting it actually. Order members had been guarding him uneventfully the whole month, and since yesterday they must have secured the whole of Privet Drive. Even Aunt Petunia presented some empathy, but certainly not in her attitude. Her and Uncle Vernon's demeanour had undoubtedly made Harry's last stay in their house as brutally unpleasant as usual. Oh, no, it was more subtle. Aunt Petunia showed Harry her concern by giving him extra-large portions of food. This year Harry's plate did not equal a quarter of Dudley's portion. This year Harry was entitled to eat half as much as Dudley. Since Dudleykins was no longer on a diet, Harry ate at the Dursleys' sufficiently for the first time. He had to smile at the thought.
The doorbell rang viciously.
Harry's small smile vanished in an instant. He jumped up, bracing himself for a fight, but only Uncle Vernon's voice came through the closed door.
"Get out, boy! Get out of my house, and don't return."
It was a minute after midnight. Harry Potter had come of wizarding age. So he levitated Hedwig's cage and his suitcase and sent them unceremoniously past the hovering, impressive figure of Uncle Vernon down the stairs. Uncle Vernon turned an unhealthy crimson colour at the sight of open magic from his nephew, but did not say a word. It was Aunt Petunia who quietly gasped as Harry passed by.
"Good luck against ... You-Know-Who."
Harry opened his eyes in surprise. "Thank you, Aunt Petunia. And good bye."
He turned to go, then changed his mind and added, "I might have to put up a fight here. You'd better hide."
Harry pointed his wand at the front door, vanished it with a non-verbal spell, immediately yelled, "STUPEFY!" and rushed down the stairs in horror.
"I'm sorry, Professor. I apologise. Professor, I'm so sorry..." Harry kept babbling to Mad-Eye Moody, who was again gaining consciousness, thanks to Tonks' prompt efforts. "I thought Death Eaters would be coming to get me. I was so convinced. Professor, I'm sorry."
"Would the Death Eaters ring the bell?" asked Moody from the pavement.
"Er, I suppose ... as a diversion tactic perhaps?"
"No, they wouldn't! Besides, the whole Order has been patrolling the neighbourhood for two days now. There is a major force spread around us at the moment."
Shacklebolt picked up Harry's luggage, Tonks helped Moody on his feet and Diggle replaced the missing door.
"Yes, I'm aware of that," Harry admitted shamefully.
"Then act accordingly." Mad-Eye Moody was still visibly upset when he nevertheless admitted, "But, boy, you are fast. You might have a chance."
The party gathered, Moody seized Harry's elbow and all Disapparated to Harry's house at Grimmauld Place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'No. I will not strip for you tonight, but I might let you strip me if you promise to kiss my whole body while undressing me,' a whitish otter told Ginny. Her eyes first widened in surprise, then narrowed with anger.
"You are transmitting sex arrangements to each other? I can't believe this! I'm supposed to intercept them!"
Hermione and Ron flushed deeply, dropped their shoulders and looked to the floor in embarrassment. They were practising their Patronus Messaging in eager wait for Mr. Weasley and Bill, or at least a Patronus from them for that matter, to bring them news about Harry's retrieval from the Dursleys'. They hoped it would go smoothly. With such a force of Order members protecting him, they were almost relaxed, but still had to know for certain.
"We are sorry, Ginny."
"You couldn't intercept any of our Patronuses the whole day, so we ... I thought ... I took the liberty ... to ask Hermione..."
"We felt this conversation was private. It was a mistake. We were overconfident in our skills at specifying the recipient of the message. We apologise," Hermione managed to squeeze out of herself quietly.
"I'm expected to try to hear your messages! I'm practising to intercept them. You are such jerks." Ginny, however, forgave them, but could not skip an opportunity and changed her tone to Ron. "So, no stripping, eh?"
"Shut up, Ginny," Ron hissed.
"And lots of kissing before the deed? Poor brother, such a disastrous message. You must be devastated."
Ron had had enough. He was far from comfortable with his newly discovered lust for his girlfriend to face his little sister mocking him in his humiliation. All emotions channelled to anger, and he burst out.
"You say one more word, Ginny, and I'll hex..."
"You won't even try, or Mum will be made to know."
"You will not discuss my private life with her. We are both of age, so it's none of her business."
"It's all of her business. This is her house, Ron. You are shagging your girlfriend in your parents' house!"
"You are just jealous because Harry didn't write to you!"
"He couldn't. It's dangerous. The owls..."
"And he won't even look at you twice when he gets here!"
They were so engrossed in their fight that they did not notice another Patronus approaching The Burrow. Hermione shifted her gaze, wishing to shrink and disappear, and the flying Patronus in the distance caught her eye.
"A Patronus!" she screamed and ran outside, Ron and Ginny rushing after her.
"It's not midnight yet, so it can't be good news. Dad said they would retrieve him only shortly after midnight."
"There is an attack then."
"Oh, my," Hermione realised, "it is Snape's Patronus."
"What is it doing here?"
"Did the Death Eaters win?"
"This is the end."
Hermione surprisingly easily intercepted the Patronus, finding that it was addressed just to whomever in The Burrow and took the message.
'Potter safe. Death Eaters attacking The Burrow at midnight. Run.'
"Death Eaters are coming here. We must escape." She hastened to get inside.
"Are you crazy?" Ron caught her arm in the front room. "This is Snape's message. You cannot believe it. It's a trap. He just wants us to do something stupid like rush to the battle to get us all in one go. Harry is the target, not us."
"He says Harry is safe, but they will be HERE at midnight!"
"We can fight them if it's true. We will be prepared."
"What if there are too many of them? Would you risk the Death Eaters capturing you and endangering Harry with the information You-Know-Who could get out of you?" Hermione refrained from saying the Dark Lord's name.
"We need reinforcements. I'll send a Patronus to Dad."
But Ron could not feel happy about the expected attack. In fact, he could not feel happy enough about anything at the moment to conjure a Patronus at all. Hermione was shaking with fear and Ginny did not even try.
"Maybe we shouldn't request help. They are protecting Harry. What if you are right, Ron, and this is a dodgy tactic to weaken Harry's guards? We should go to Grimmauld Place. That way we can save ourselves if something is truly coming and not jeopardise the Order's mission."
Crack!
Hermione squeaked and jumped.
Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!
"Too many! The fireplace!"
Ginny ran for it, knocked over the jar as she grabbed a handful of Floo powder, jammed it into the fire and was already stepping inside and yelling the Headquarters address when Ron and Hermione caught up with her.
Ron scooped up a bit of powder from the floor, threw it into the flames and gestured to his love.
"Hermione!"
They heard the front door give in to the concentrated assault.
"No time, I'll Apparate. Go!" She pushed him with all her strength into the fireplace and immediately started to concentrate on her Destination, Determination and Deliberation.
The door exploded.
"Petrificus Totalus!"
The curse hit her in the chest, but she was already loosely deliberated. Her body resisted as she was pressed through the Apparating sensation. She hit the floor in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place hard.
Hard as a stone.
"Hermione, luckily, you are here too." Ron was just stumbling out of the fireplace. "Hey, you shouldn't have pushed me so hard."
"Ron."
"It must have been a rough Apparition for you too, if you fell. I hope the Death Eaters leave before Dad and Bill return." He regained his balance, turned his back to the girls and started to brush ashes from his clothes.
"Ron."
"We must warn them before they arrive just into the Death Eaters' hands."
"Ron! Would you, please, stop grooming yourself and look here?" Ginny was kneeling beside Hermione and finally caught Ron's attention.
"Hermione! Did you splinch yourself? Or did you hit your head?"
"She looks whole to me. She might have hit her head, but it wouldn't be serious, I think." Ginny was examining Hermione to her best knowledge. Her friend's eyes were vivid with anger and helplessness. "It rather looks like the full Body-Bind to me."
Hermione slowly closed and again opened her eyes to acknowledge Ginny's conclusion.
"She will be her self in a short time again. I'll warn Bill and Dad, and you make her a bit more comfortable," Ginny unnecessarily added when Ron was already lifting Hermione's stiff body in his arms, eager to touch her rather than levitate her form in an attempt to take her over to a couch.
Crack! Crack! Crack!
Hermione was unceremoniously dropped back to the floor as Ron and Ginny joined forces to protect her body and sent hexes towards the intruders.
"Protego!" Mad-Eye Moody's shout echoed in the now over-crowded room.
"Incarcerous!" Ropes flew out of Dedalus Diggle's wand and bound Ginny and Ron.
"What do you think you are doing? First Harry, now you? Think before you hex someone." Moody's magical eye was piercing Ginny and Ron.
"The Death Eaters attacked The Burrow while we were all expecting them to march upon Harry, right? That's why you are all jumpy here instead of where you're supposed to be and Hermione is bound," Tonks deduced.
"Yes. There were so many of them! They just kept popping in ..." Ginny shuddered as she remembered. "We must warn Dad!"
"I just did," Professor McGonagall said. She made her way from behind the crowd to tend to Hermione. "I sent him a Patronus that you were all here and safe as soon as I saw you while you were busy fighting Alastor."
"Thank you. I hope it reaches them before they return to The Burrow." Ron sighed, a little embarrassed once again that evening, and helped Hermione to stand up after McGonagall countered her curse.
At that moment a Patronus materialised through a wall. Mundungus Fletcher took the message.
'Dark Mark above The Burrow. Seems empty. Need to search.'
Before Mundungus could refer the message to the awaiting assembly, there sounded yet another double-crack. This time, it went without an attack, although Mr. Weasley and Bill still faced a forest of aimed wands.
"I just got your message. What did you find?" Mundungus asked.
"Nothing. Shortly after I sent off a Patronus, Dad received Professor McGonagall's message. We Apparated directly here. Thank you for the reassurance," Bill addressed McGonagall. "It was quite a sight to see the sign about my old home knowing my little siblings were in there." Bill messed Ron's hair, much to his annoyance.
"Ginny, Ron, Hermione, we are very glad you are all safe." Mr. Weasley embraced the young escapees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Harry, he saved our lives!" Hermione was fuming over Harry's stubbornness.
"Oh, yes? Then how can you explain the fact that you were bound? It could have easily been a Killing Curse that hit you, for all that matters." Harry refused to let go.
"No. Potter's friends would be more valuable to them alive," Ron whispered, not meeting Harry's eyes.
"Even so. Even if they wanted you alive to get to me." The edge in Harry's voice forced Ron to look up. "How far do you think she was from being caught?"
"Close."
"Precisely! Millionth of a second. If she would have been bound before she started to Apparate, she wouldn't have gone anywhere."
"But we hesitated after we got the message. She wanted to go, but I stopped her."
"Clever. Now, what do you think would have happened to her if she were caught?"
"Harry! Drop it, please." Hermione stepped in. "She refuses to hear what could have happened. She can imagine quite vividly without you. Thanks."
"But it's relevant."
"To what?"
"To Snape's deception!"
"Deception?"
"Harry, he saved us!" Ginny backed up Hermione.
"He warned us, so that we could get away."
"No, Ron, he didn't!" Harry raised his voice. "Don't you see that he gave you just such a short notice to ensure that you did get caught? Then, if at least one of you survived and returned to the Order, you would have pledged that Snape is on our side, he would get the spy status back and could continue to supply Voldemort with our intentions."
"If you put it that way ..." Ron lost his resolve.
"See?"
"But what if he did not know before?" Hermione was pondering an alternative. "Your hypothesis assumes that Voldemort filled him in on his plans beforehand. He does not appear a trusting fellow, Harry. I doubt he tells his Death Eaters about his plans in detail."
"Snape might be close to him now that he killed the only wizard Voldemort ever feared. Or he might even have designed the plan." Harry shrugged.
"All right. Voldemort might have entrusted Snape on his tactics, or Snape could have come up with it," Hermione admitted. "But what if Voldemort thought of the idea to target us instead of you last night and did not trust any of his Death Eaters to share it with them? What if Snape learnt of the plan just moments before they were to go and only had time for a quick blind warning? And can you imagine how much danger he put himself in for conjuring a Patronus in front of all those Death Eaters?"
"Then how did he know that you could receive a Patronus message? I can't. Now, Hermione, how could he know?" Harry opposed her.
"He couldn't," Hermione admitted.
A relief of victory flushed over Harry's face.
"But he also couldn't expect that we would be left in The Burrow all by ourselves without any Order member. We never were before."
Harry's victorious feeling sank.
"Hermione is right, Harry. Snape would have expected at least one person here who could receive a Patronus message. The Order was just so sure Voldemort would try to get to you last night. Too sure." Ron's voice sank.
But Harry still stood to his place. "Then he would have also expected at least one person who would fight the Death Eaters back long enough to enable at least one of you to get away to tell others of his 'noble' intentions, but short enough to get at least one of you captured."
Harry had a point. Harry certainly had a point. But so did Hermione.
"Harry, you are paranoid."
"Wouldn't you be, if the most dangerous wizard of our age and his army were after you since you were one?" he shot at her. "And if he and his cronies already managed to kill so many people that were there to protect you?"
"Yes," Hermione's cheeks flushed a little pink, "I guess I would be."
Author's notes: Thanks to KD for beta reading this story and to saschia for pointing out my mistake in the orientation of the tracking cube charts. The concept should work so that the time is recorded on the axis from left to right, the nature of a spell on the axis from front to back and the force of the spell on the vertical axis up and down. Please read and review; plot bunnies feed on reviews, and they need a lot of nourishment.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Cleared of the Murder
28 Reviews | 6.5/10 Average
It was an intense chapter. So much anguish in the aftermath. Wonderful writing.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, an unanswered review. Oops! Thank you for your compliment.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, an unanswered review. Oops! Thank you for your compliment.
I really enjoyed reading this story. I especially loved the epilogue. You write a deliciously snarky Snape, and for that I thank you!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I'm delighted to hear that you liked my take on Snape. He is a charmer the way he is, isn't he?
excellent story. i think you handled the rape spot on. congrats on featured story, it's well deserved. thanks for sharing your vision and talent.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it very much.
This should be at with the Epilogue, as I have read the whole story and enjoyed it ... but I started to reread the first chapter when it occured to me that in your opening line you have Mundungus Fletcher at the Order meeting. Granted, I don't think it's nailed down tight in canon as to how long he was to stay, but the last we knew of Fletcher in HBP, he was in Azkaban and Harry wasn't happy with him.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Hm, that did not occur to me. As far as I was able to check (HP Lexicon), he was sent to Azkaban for impersonating an Inferius during an attempted burglary. He could have been released within months for such a minor crime. Theoretically, if the Ministry did not accuse him of spreading panic and lock him for good on their policy that they need to arrest someone, he could have been free by the first meeting in this story without Harry knowing - hence, without mention in canon.There. An explanation. But only as an afterthought. In fact, I missed that. Thank you for your comment, I will think about a different character that could serve the purpose.
As I mentioned on Ashwinder allready - I like the ways the dialogues are led, so I have to rate this story also here.Congratulations to the second closing and I am looking very very much forward to the dragon (nudge nudge - when wil you finish them ?!?!?!?)
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for all those stars! The dragons are on their way - see my lj for more updates.
Thank you -- that's much better!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
I'm very happy that it has done the job for you.
Nicely done. I love the Vacuum reference, too. :-)
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you. 'Walk Through the Fire' is a captivating story, but that potion definitely deserves a working antidote. Even though they might never find it in Wonderful's plot plan, they have a good chance in this one.
I love this story. Absolutely love it. While I don't fully understand the cube graph things or the magicmeters, I get the concept behind them and I think they're very clever. I think you handled Hermione's rape in a very mature way, and I'm glad that you didn't just brush it off like some writers do, that you allowed Hermione to have those after-feelings and crazy emotions. I hope you update this soon and can't wait to read more!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
What a very lovely message to find early in the morning! Thank you for making me smile. I'm very happy that you liked the story. The epilogue has now been sent to my beta.
You developed some really intriguing ideas. Have you given any thought to what might happen next? I'd be very interested to see it, if you ever write it.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you. I've just sent an epilogue to my beta and a sequel is well on its way. However, I will start posting it only once it is completed. I kind of like this universe, so there definitely will be more.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
I'm very glad to hear it! I understand not wanting to post until done - there's always the possibility something you do in a later chapter will make you want to tweak something in chapter 1, after all.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
It does not usually happen to me. I tend to plan the story beforehand to a considerable detail - plotwise, not method-wise. My hessitation is rather due to the fact that I often have long hiatuses between intensive writing sessions, and I don't want my readers to suffer the wait. *sigh*
I like ths story so far, its looking good.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I'm posting the next chapter today.
Interesting thoughts on the conditins Snape has set and the Patronus messages. I wonder why none of them can see at least the possibility that his concern is for it to fall into Voldemort's hands. I look forward to reading more.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
They are generally suspitious about anything Snape does in these conditions. They had trusted him, most of them reluctantly, and he marched right up to the Astronomy Tower and shattered their trust in the worst possible way. They view his actions as dubious - to put it mildly. Thanks for reviewing each chapter. It feels wonderful!
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
Oh, I totally understand their suspicions and sense of betrayal. I just want to knock their heads together for missing it. Glad you're enjoying the reviews!
Oh, I just love Mr. Granger's misinterpretation of the magicmeter's readings. Nice touch!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
;-) Thanks! I'm happy that you interpreted the magic of love and the owl otherwise.
It is intense indeed. I think you have rendered her response very well.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I tried my best.
I like how you've balanced the possibilities here. Snape could realistically still be on either side.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
We won't know until HP7, will we? Perhaps his true loyalty will remain a mistery even afterwards. I, however, believe that he might get a chance to be redeemed in canon.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
That's what I'm hoping, too.
I find your magicmeter idea very intriguing, especially the way it maps out Albus' magic for the days leading up to his death. Onward to chapter 2!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you! I'm glad you like it!
This ain't half bad, I'm baffled as to why nobody reviews!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you so much for being so generous and leave me four reviews in a day. You were wonderful, you really made my day. Reviews are possitively addictive, and a writer can never have enough.
That magicmeter sounds interesting!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you! It's also almost canon. Almost. Except that Jo does not like science. I do.
Poor Hermione! I can understand her reaction to Ron, though.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
I agree. I still feel guilty for putting her through such horrors, but it was necessary to separate her from Ron and Harry were quickly and abruptly.
Promising start!
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much! I hope you will like the rest of the story too.
Interesting ideas. The letter from Hermione's dad at the end particularly intrigues me.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you for your review. There certainly is a reason for the way those letters are worded. I hope you will enjoy revelation behind them in chapter 7.
I can't believe that nobody's reviewed this story yet. You've done a good job so far and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
One small thing, though—in this chapter you have Ron saying "Potter's friends would be more valuable to them alive" in a conversation with Harry and Hermione. It seems a bit odd to have him saying this, especially since the remark seems to be directed towards Harry and doesn't appear to be a quote.
Otherwise, though, good work so far. Keep it up!Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you VERY much for your review. In fact, it is the second, but my first review on this site was lost during the server breakdown on Monday.The way I picture Ron in that scene is that he is sitting a bit apart from the girls and Harry, deep in thought. He tries to contemplate what had happened and he still does not understand why the DEs did not harm Hermione, but rather attempted to capture her. Therefore, being lost in thoughts about Death Eaters, Ron says rather 'Potter's friends' then 'us' or 'your friends'.
Response from Pennfana (Reviewer)
Ah, I see. It still seems a bit odd, but I understand your reasoning now.
Fast-paced chapter... very good. I enjoyed the argument as they dissected Snape's motives; Harry was sceptical and blinkered and Hermione typically open and objective. The cube idea is a very good one, although, I'm wondering about the two variables on one axis? Did you have time versus spell strength as part of the magicmeter function? Were the cubes discussed by Tonks, displaying the same data as the 'graph' generated by Minerva's magicmeter?The way I read it, the magicmeter slope was time versus spell strength; it also generated a sort of ballistics analysis of the spell being cast (am I way off?).The cube discussed by Tonks, reminded me of the spirometry graphs you can get, where the quadrants relate to a particular lung function/dysfunction--upper left quadrant may indicate emphysema, for example, and lower left, asthma (just an illustration, as I don't know exactly how the chart works), and the placement within that quadrant suggest a severity of the observed condition. I extrapolated from that, to think that the placement of the light within the cube indicated the type and strength of the spell at the time of the test, and conveying the efficacy of the spell, i.e. how effective that particular spell would have been, dependant upon it's location within the cube.I did struggle to see how Tonks could have deduced from the results that Dumbledore could have been killed by any charm, even if it was a Healng Charm, but I liked the idea and thought that it was a lovely irony.Either way, I enjoyed the chapter; the structure matched the content incredibly well, and I was caught up in it. Wonderful.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
The magical charts. Yes. An enigma. The magicmeter measures magical residues (what stays around after magic has it an object, imagine it as vibration, or a comet tail) in time. Magical residues can represent magic around a person, something like a personal scent, or as you say the spell strength. That is Minerva's chart. She sets one chart for magical residues of Dumbledore's corpse and one for a specific spell, the Killing Curse.Tonks uses more sophisticated device. Where McGonagall has to tune her magicmeter for every specific spell she wants to test, Tonks has a third dimension in her results, marking if the spell was good or bad. The axis then show time, spell strength and intent/goodness. The spirometry analogy you mention might apply to a certain extent. With this, one can also more or less diagnose the spell.Tonks also creates a death probability chart, and we do not see the device she uses for those measurements. I expect that it is based on changes in individual's magical signature, or residues in time, but I'm not certain it can be measured directly with a magicmeter as I envision it. Good point,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
. Maybe it is a way of recalculating the values given by a magicmeter. I'll have to think about that. In any case, Tonks had known that by the time Dumbledore lay crumpled on the Astronomy Tower, he was so weakened that he was basically dead all by himself - probability of his death has been more or less 95-100% since the moment he began to desire water from the Inferi infested lake.Thank you very much for your reviews.nata
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
The magical charts. Yes. An enigma. The magicmeter measures magical residues (what stays around after magic has it an object, imagine it as vibration, or a comet tail) in time. Magical residues can represent magic around a person, something like a personal scent, or as you say the spell strength. That is Minerva's chart. She sets one chart for magical residues of Dumbledore's corpse and one for a specific spell, the Killing Curse.Tonks uses more sophisticated device. Where McGonagall has to tune her magicmeter for every specific spell she wants to test, Tonks has a third dimension in her results, marking if the spell was good or bad. The axis then show time, spell strength and intent/goodness. The spirometry analogy you mention might apply to a certain extent. With this, one can also more or less diagnose the spell.Tonks also creates a death probability chart, and we do not see the device she uses for those measurements. I expect that it is based on changes in individual's magical signature, or residues in time, but I'm not certain it can be measured directly with a magicmeter as I envision it. Good point,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
. Maybe it is a way of recalculating the values given by a magicmeter. I'll have to think about that. In any case, Tonks had known that by the time Dumbledore lay crumpled on the Astronomy Tower, he was so weakened that he was basically dead all by himself - probability of his death has been more or less 95-100% since the moment he began to desire water from the Inferi infested lake.Thank you very much for your reviews.nata
Excellent start, and the magicmeter and associated data is a remarkable idea: magical forensic evidence. The concept opens up a whole new area of fanfiction. I admit that I smirked at Diggle's cynicism about trying to think happy thoughts when dodging curses, and I appreciate Tonk's observation about perspective being the key.I hope that you delve into the theory behind Minerva's evidence, as the scientist in me was sitting on the edge of the seat, begging for more--really appreciate the depth of thought that went into that scene. I'm also very happy to see someone wondering about why Dumbledore was hurled from the Tower--I had seen it as some ploy on JKR's part as to his survival; alas, no!Minerva's needed and desperate stoicism was lovely to read! You wrote her as being human and not some convenient character--as you defined all the characters. It's good to see that the characters actually feel.I'm waffling now, so I'll stop.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, no, please don't stop! It is so wonderful to read and read into your review. Thank you very much for it!Magical forensics now has its own original story. This year I have been trying to get it published (in Czech). Unsuccessful so far. Well, it is rather weird and I'm not that good an author, so it is no wonder. It deals with concepts from here - what signatures magic leaves, what physical principles are involved in spells, how that can affect molecular processes in a cell... That sounds rather like a lecture, doesn't it? I tried to convey it in a story of an immortal wizard having his heart transplanted into a non-magical girl. The reviewers so far like the idea, dislike my language and my characterisation. So, it is very nice to find your review here praise my take on characters.Thank you,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
,nata
Response from sweetflag (Reviewer)
Lecture away... I love the idea. I hinted at the suggestion of magical forensics in another fanfic, but I shied away from having to think, so I left it there. The knowledge that you've done an original story involving those principles makes me very curious. Is it avaialble to read? Hang on... it is in Czech. That will cause problems... lol. Not that good an author? No. There has to be another reason. I'm not fawning, but I find your style of writing to be fascinating, but I admit that I'm no professional critic or good author myself. I find it difficult to write the characters in HP fanfics because I'm only borrowing them, and I like them to be as close to how they are presented in the books so that my stories are more fitting for that environment. It's hard, and I much prefer original characters as the reader will have no preconceived ideas and expectations about them. The fact that characterisation has been frowned upon in your original piece is quite a surprise.As for getting it published, I wish you all the best with that and remind you that Charlotte Bronte had little success at first :), neither did JKR, if memory serves. Maybe you could get a second pair of eyes to read through and suggest a more reader-friendly phrase or two? I just had a flash of a magic-noir... a detective drama akin to the Maltese falcon... lol. I'll read the next chapters as soon as... the family beckons, and I have to read stories... Winnie the Pooh :D
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Oh, no, please don't stop! It is so wonderful to read and read into your review. Thank you very much for it!Magical forensics now has its own original story. This year I have been trying to get it published (in Czech). Unsuccessful so far. Well, it is rather weird and I'm not that good an author, so it is no wonder. It deals with concepts from here - what signatures magic leaves, what physical principles are involved in spells, how that can affect molecular processes in a cell... That sounds rather like a lecture, doesn't it? I tried to convey it in a story of an immortal wizard having his heart transplanted into a non-magical girl. The reviewers so far like the idea, dislike my language and my characterisation. So, it is very nice to find your review here praise my take on characters.Thank you,
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
,nata
Response from sweetflag (Reviewer)
Lecture away... I love the idea. I hinted at the suggestion of magical forensics in another fanfic, but I shied away from having to think, so I left it there. The knowledge that you've done an original story involving those principles makes me very curious. Is it avaialble to read? Hang on... it is in Czech. That will cause problems... lol. Not that good an author? No. There has to be another reason. I'm not fawning, but I find your style of writing to be fascinating, but I admit that I'm no professional critic or good author myself. I find it difficult to write the characters in HP fanfics because I'm only borrowing them, and I like them to be as close to how they are presented in the books so that my stories are more fitting for that environment. It's hard, and I much prefer original characters as the reader will have no preconceived ideas and expectations about them. The fact that characterisation has been frowned upon in your original piece is quite a surprise.As for getting it published, I wish you all the best with that and remind you that Charlotte Bronte had little success at first :), neither did JKR, if memory serves. Maybe you could get a second pair of eyes to read through and suggest a more reader-friendly phrase or two? I just had a flash of a magic-noir... a detective drama akin to the Maltese falcon... lol. I'll read the next chapters as soon as... the family beckons, and I have to read stories... Winnie the Pooh :D
I've really enjoyed this story very much. Particularly the magic-meter bits (Wonder why so few fics speculate on the science of magic? It is such a logical topic for Hermione to be speculating about) and the dialogue between Severus and Hermione. I would have liked for it to be longer, but can also see why this could be a logical place to stop. One thing though. Hermione's ordeal. Was that just a plot-point to make her return to Hogwarts and seperate her from her friends? If that is the case, it seems a rather harsh one. All in all I feel perhaps the aftereffects could have been addressed more, considerating how awful what she went through is....
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Thank you very much. I believe that the reason why science of magic is rare in fanfiction is the fact that the writer must know quite a bit about it. Here, I used bits of chemistry and engineering, but it is nothing compared to amazing science dialogues in ubiquirk's Ladder. Wonderful, wonderful scientific discussions there.Hermione's rape was there purely for the purpose of quickly separating her from Ron and giving her a reason to fully concentrate on something else then direct Horcrux hunt. She shouln't also grieve about her failed relationship with Ron (if I took that course), while I wanted to keep it HBP compliant. I'm sorry it had to be done. It's a terrible thing to go through. She was very much ashamed (not even telling her parents), wanted to avoid any humans she could (hiding away in Snape's lab), focused on a task that could consume her mind and keep it off the memories (research). That's what I would have done. I think, having not had the experience.
Is it really over? I want more. It feels like there should be more to it.
Response from nata (Author of Cleared of the Murder)
Yes, this is the end. All aspects that I intended to deal with in this story have been closed. However, I'm considering an epilogue. Several people at Ashwinder also noted that I ended this too quickly. Since readers are very important for every writer, I take such suggestions to my heart. And although I already have an almost finished sequel, an epilogue is definitely an option too.