A new sorrow for Severus: realizing that he might have a little difficulty in managing his duties up to his own standards. Again, he's not having it easy, poor him.

The teasing and joking with Poppy is rather sweet, I think.

Dumbledore's idea for the Sinistra question is a good solution, and the scene shows nicely how different the situation is with Dumbledore as "simple" teacher. It must have been really difficult and irritating for Severus to adapt to this wholly unusual and unexpected situation.

One small thing I wanted to ask you since the first story of yours I read: you repeatedly use the expression "Hmpf" as a nondescript sound word. I never read this before in any English text, but know it so well form German... so I'm just curious where your influence comes from ;o).

Author's Response: Well, I do think that it's used in English dialogue ("Hmpf"), and I have no clue where it comes from in the deep recesses of my subconscious! I do write very consciously, but some things, who knows. It feels as though I've been reading "hmpf" and variants of that my entire life, but I haven't noticed. (I did live in Germany for a few years and attended university there for two, though, so it could be that that exposure increased the likelihood I'd use that particular combination of letters.)

Yes, the situation is presenting Severus with multiple difficulties. That he could relax a little with Poppy there was good for him, and a good sign.

Thanks very much!

Oh dear, this treatment sounds downright nasty. Well, one wouldn't expect the treatment for such a nasty problem to be neither simple nor easy, but still, poor Severus...
Part of the bad part for him would supposedly be being mothered, won't it? ;o) Of course, deep down he wants it, might even hope for it, but showing such a need? Never!
The meeting with Hagrid and his advice fits in really well, I like this part very much.

Author's Response: Thank you!

Yes, Severus does have conflicted feelings about needing care, being cared for, being reliant on others, and so on. So this experience might be good for him! ;D

I appreciate your reviews!

Recreation and foolishness indeed! *rofl* I would so have liked to see Severus's face when he discovers Gareth's distraction for what it is... and I would like to be in his head when he realizes that this is a glimpse in a normal, everyday way of live, spending time in this way with someone nice.

It's a lovely chapter, and I had much fun with the details of their evening there. The whole food stuff was fun, too; Gareth seem to have hollow legs, does he?

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed seeing Severus have a bit fun, even if it was despite himself. ;)

Gareth does love his food, but he's an active wizard, so he burns it off, too.

Thanks for the review! :)

Good chapter, though it's somewhat painful. The difference to Malfoy's fate must seem rather bizarre to Severus, as I am strongly supposing that he finds himself much more guilty than he is looked upon. I suppoes it's also weird for him to see himself, for once, on the winner's side with a future to look up to, and in the same moment observing the hardnessess of Malfoys recent circumstances.
Malfoy got off rather lightly, though.
The second part is delightful. Do you happen to be a reader of Richard Woodman's works? The reference to one cartographer named Drinkwater does ring an extremely loud bell *g*.
For Severus, the experiencing of Melinda's home life must be somewhat foreign territory, as well. I do hope it's territory he likes to explore - living at peace and with some nice and trusted companion, for example...

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Yes, the contrast between the two of them -- Malfoy & Severus -- has Severus's mind spinning!

Glad you enjoyed the second part. No, I don't know Richard Woodman. What kind of stuff does he write? That name I just pulled out of my hat as I was writing, so to speak.

The contrast between Melina and Brennan's witch/Muggle marriage and the one he saw between his parents is kind of mind-boggling for him.

Thanks much for the review!

Alcina vom Steinsberg's response: Do you know/read naval fiction? Richard Woodman with his Drinkwater series is one of the better authors. His protagonist, Nathaniel Drinwater, a naval officer in the Napoleon aera whom we follow from near childhood to death, has not an easy fate at all, earning everything with hard work and much setbacks, and the author weaves a beautiful and well-written tale of his life and time and adventures. During the series, he sometimes has some cartography to do and has some back-story about the subject, too.
Naval fiction used to be kind of my one and only literary love before I met the works of one certain Madam Rowling... apart from some Jane Austen and Bronte Sisters and a bit like this *g*. But then, some heroes of this genre do bear a reasonable similarity to a certain Potions Master...

Author's Response: No, I've never read any naval fiction, unless you count Moby Dick way back in school. ;) A friend of mine is into a series of naval books, but I don't recall who the author was. I tend to read mysteries, courtroom dramas, urban fantasy (I really like some of Charles deLint's stuff), and a variety of other fiction, and I like nonfiction on a variety of subjects, especially different scientific topics and some history, including ancient history. Oddly, I've never liked Austen or the Brontes -- though Austen does have some funny passages in her books, as far as I can remember. I prefer Anthony Trollope for amusing social commentary -- he's a riot, though he's not very popular these days. I've enjoyed Dickens in the past, too, though I've not read him in years.

I'm not sure where I got the name "Drinkwater" from, but it's not an uncommon name. I think there was either a character or an actress whose name was Drinkwater in a program I used to watch, but my mind is fuzzy on that. But I've also met Drinkwaters. Who knows . . .

Poor Sev, will he ever get his kitten.  Too cute.  I enjoyed this.  It really is a good story.  Time to click the update bookmark button!

I think this may be one of my favorite chapters I've ever read in fanfic, if not my absolute favorite. The tenderness that Minerva, Poppy, Melina, and especially Albus, showed to Severus was incredibly touching. I teared up in quite a few places, which is a feat, as I have never (that I remember) had this reaction before (except, obviously, with canon book 6 and 7). It was so beautifully written and poignant, and though I had never really subscribed to the theory that Tobias was, in fact, a relatively good father, and that it was Eileen and her family that were abusive... but you wrote it in such a way that I believed it instantly. And, again, it's beyond moving to read Albus' validation of Severus and his need for a father figure, his need for Albus especially to accept and love him – I held my breath during that entire encounter,  simultaneously wanting to shout at Dumbledore that I didn't believe him, that I didn't believe he ever cared for Severus, to yearning *with* Severus for Albus to approve of him, to acknowledge and then envelope him with the love that (in canon) seemed forever denied to Snape (but given freely to Sirius, James, et al, unconditionally). I feel as though I'm in Snape's position now, and I'm not sure if I could trust Dumbledore, or ever really think he could truly love Snape, but I desperately wish that he can, that he will, that he does. And I hope Snape has an easier time coping with all these conflicting emotions than I can, when I'm just merely projecting myself into the situation, rather than "living" it. ...And now I sound crazy. I apologize, just wanted to let you know how touched I am with this chapter, and how I love it so much, and to thank you for writing something so emotionally intense and thought-provoking.

Poor little boy Severus, he was breaking my heart. I wonder if he'll ever get enough love to heal the damage of being loved only a little when he was young? After he began to wake, it was very interesting to see him transition from vulnerable and childlike to his more usual adult concerns and reactions. And then that little hint of the vulnerable child at the end again, just peeking out from behind the mask. Loved it.And somebody get that man a kitten!

Wow! Poor Severus, and poor Poppy, too. That was some ordeal and it's a good thing she was willing to serve as a sympathetic to Snape. His rambling and Albus sitting with him was very touching. It sems they're slowly mending their friendship, though I'm sure it will take some time to heal entirely.Thanks again for posting the story here. 

I look forward to every update of this story and wanted to pop-in to say that the progression has been very well done so far; the last chapter was quite riveting and it's nice to see Severus' recovery come to greater fruition in this following chapter. His family background - during the hallucinations/recollections - were very interesting and quite original to the usual sort of "Snape backstory," in which Tobias is the aggressor. And perhaps a future kitten will appear? X)Also, concerning the previous chapter with Hermione (and the yummy tarts), at first I was apprehensive, since their conversation was limited to rather depressing experiences, yet I realized that it's quite important that they deal with those events - especially as those events relate to the both of them - assuming their relationship has the potential to progress into something more than friendship; certain past experiences must be released from the psyche, otherwise there may be past bias or repressed feelings that could encroach. That said, I think the discussion was handled well. I really enjoy Severus' character and his interactions with the others; looking forward to the next update :)

Um..... I tried, I really tried... but I can't push through this... not that I care too terribly much for Severus, but its Gareth I can't picture here - I like him too much to go here... I just can't. I sorry.

Hot Hot Hot!!!Can't wait to see the two of them enjoying his fantasies :)Once again it was my highlight to read a chapter. LOL, when I saw in the chapter index that it says NC-17, I immediatly stopped doing anything and read this chapter :P - well, it was just what I needed that day^^The two of them are just so AAAWWW! I can't help. I'm so happy that they finally got a story for themselves!Just as much as I'm happy, that nothing happend to Albus - still I hope he didn't have to spend a night on the sofa, lol.Oh, and nice interaction between P/S, I mean his confession about what he feels etc. and that he almost confessed his love, quite cute. But surely Poppy suspected what he was about to say?Well that's it from me. Viele liebe Grüße :)

I'm so glad Gareth got Severus to enjoy himself and forget about his troubles for a few hours, even if it was against his will. And make helicopter sounds! I wonder if Gareth was letting himself get caught on the Dodgems? That seems like something he might do, just to egg Severus on. In my imagination, he looked like a giant stork crammed into a little bumper car with his knees up around his ears and a maniacal grin on his face.

Gareth is a good friend, keeping Severus in line with excellent advice and still keeping his sense of humor! Although I'm sure Severus would never have admitted wishing to keep Poppy on a tether and approve her social schedule if he hadn't been tipsy.I'm very curious about this Ministry project. I really enjoy the realism you keep injecting into the story. That the government would design a study to skew the outcomes and buy themselves an expert to rubber stamp it sounds depressingly real. But I'd really like to know whatk kind of awful policy they're planning to implement with their data.

I wanna go to the Golden Cup parks with Gareth. I bet he'd be a blast! It would have been funny watching Snape trying to blend in with the crowds and enjoying himself, too. Seems that Snape's made his first real friend, for which I'm glad. They had a rocky start, back in RaM, but I'd say they're doing a grand job of building the bridge towards friendship.I can just imagine Minerva at a theme park, too. Albus, though, would be a man after my own heart. lol Thanks for the update!the GLM

Uhm, I love this story, and knowing there a lots of chapters to come is soo nice to know

Snape at an amusement park???  You have a very fertile and active imagination. I love it!!On a more serious note, it is sad that Severus is so embarrassed and uncomfortable with the idea of having fun. I guess never having experienced the joy and fun of a "normal" childhood has severely affected his reactions as an adult. Thanks for giving him a glimpse of that fun.

Wow! Lucius Malfoy is truly a nasty piece of work. After all the harm he's done, his arrogance, and then his major downfall and injury and he's still concerned more with his image and the family name. I'm glad Severus went to see him, though. I think it's good, both for Malfoy and Snape, to see how each other is living now ... one a prisoner and one a free wizard.I feel bad for Narcissa, in a way. I don't believe she is utterly blameless but she's suffering with Lucius.Brennan is just a cutie and I loved the story about Minerva popping into their bedroom in the middle of the night. OOPSIE. Min shoud have known better, tsk tsk.

Severus has come a long way, but he still acts out when he's uncomfortable, doesn't he? I suppose that's a part of his character that may never change, though he seems to try to overcome it when he's aware of it. I like that you've given his rose-bush blasting from OOTP another twist - and it made me a little sad for him that he was so hurt by the students' fear and dislike of him, even while he deliberately cultivated it.I thought the scene with the witches all complimenting his robes was pretty amusing. I could just see him backing away in horror with Pomona fingering his robes while the other witches openly admired his person. Maybe last year he would have insulted and threatened to hex them?

Very informative chapter - lots going on in Severus' damaged heart and mind - and all this inner torment makes perfect sense. I am quite proud of him for not allowing it to fester, but trying to GET IT OUT AND OVER WITH - something the old Severus would NEVER have done! Way to go!

*snip*He would be sitting up in bed, strong, muscular, and virile, only a sheet over him, and he would put his book aside. He would ask Hermione if she had a nice evening, and she would tell him something, something vague and polite, or she would tell him that he had kissed her good-night at the door, and McGonagall would say that if he had known she liked to be kissed good-night, he would have done it a long time ago. That whole paragraph, of how Severus tries to sabatage himself, focuses on the negative - of imagined negatives, negatives that weren't even realistic - which he KNOWS isn't going to happen, both Gareth and Hermione have said so - and yet, he's dooming himself... I can easily see Severus doing that - he's so terrified of his fragile emotions being hurt he destroys anything sweet and good between them - just with his imagination.

*snip*“Doubtful,” Hermione said. “So, is this our third date?”Severus looked at her teasing smile and found the corners of his mouth responding to it. “Yes, I suppose it is.” Now that he thought about it, he seemed to remember that there was some tradition that after the third date, the woman would let the man take a liberty or two. “We will have to determine what our first two dates were, though, and come to some agreement about that.”“Yes, we will have to think about that very carefully,” Hermione said with mock seriousness. “The first date is particularly important. We have to be especially sure about that one.”“Indeed. We have to start off on the right foot, after all,” Severus agreed.As they ate dinner, Severus found himself forgetting they were on a date and simply enjoying Hermione’s company. They ordered coffee, but no dessert. I am very much enjoying Hermione taking Severus in hand and forcing him to stop being a dick and work with her - stop fighting himself, and her, and just relax - she has quite the mental fortitude and is very confortable with herself - lots of self confidence - very impressed with Hermione, but then again, I've always been.And so cute how she's playing with him here, now that Severus has finally lightened up.

*snip*Something occurred to Severus. “Do you have a pub you would like to go to?” The few Muggle pubs he was well-acquainted with were rather seedy, nowhere he would want to bring Hermione. “I know a couple places.” She hesitated at the door, turning back to him. “I don’t mean to sound dumb or impertinent, but is this a date? Like a date date?”That's my Hermione! Always clarifying!

I'm just commenting because if I don't, you ask me why I didn't. I found this chapter disturbing.

I loved Severus' little burst of pride with Lucius, as he made a point of telling him that he had plans with a friend. And perhaps he recognizes a little more fully the quality of the friendships he has now, after spending time again with people who would only use him. His insight that Narcissa welcomed his visit only because they had no other visitors was very telling, especially because it didn't cause him any pain, even as much pain as he feels when he gets anonymous insults by owl post.

Oh, dear. I almost feel sorry for Lucius. But not quite. His having to live like a Muggle, and nearly destitute, is a perfect punishment.If Severus is going to get a fit of the sullens every time a witch bats her eyes at Gareth, his temper is never going to recover. It's a good thing that Gareth didn't put up with his silly prudish attitude, though. Maybe Severus will learn to lighten up a bit. And learn to flirt a little, himself.