Where Rain And Smoke Mingle
Jenwryn4 Reviews | 4 Ratings, 0 Likes, 2 Favorites )
Remus/Sirius. Set in 1979. A very damp, melancholic piece. "It doesn't matter if they've disowned you, they're still your family. It doesn't matter how often you walk away, it still hurts..."
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About Jenwryn
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Jenwryn
Member Since 2007 | 30 Stories | Favorited by 27 | 42 Reviews Written | 311 Review Responses
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Reviews for Where Rain And Smoke Mingle
Very sad.
Gah! I don't even like Sirius and yet you made me feel sorry for him. Wonderful, powerful writing.
Response from Jenwryn (Author of Where Rain And Smoke Mingle)
Oh, thankyou! I have to say, Remus was my first love but I think I've written myself into being fond of Sirius! :D
Response from Jenwryn (Author of Where Rain And Smoke Mingle)
Oh, thankyou! I have to say, Remus was my first love but I think I've written myself into being fond of Sirius! :D
I was thinking of trying to do an ff.net style review, but I don't know if I can.Sorry I've been fangirling you to death and back, but DUDE. You're amazing.
Response from Jenwryn (Author of Where Rain And Smoke Mingle)
Me and my muse think you are pretty darn incredible too! Talk about encouragement....! *glomps*
This is absolutely beautiful; it reads like poetry. Your imagery is amazing. I had no trouble seeing the scene you were describing. I loved your description of the rain – especially the rain that “stomped” in contrast to the miserly, tedious, hateful little rain.” If I may make a suggestion, though: One sense you didn’t use and that many writers habitually leave out (probably because it is the hardest to describe) is the sense of smell. In a piece like this it can be another powerful descriptive tool. I would have been interested to know about the smells of the cigarette or the wet earth.
I also really enjoyed your style of long, almost unwieldy, sentences contrasting with the short ones. Especially the sentence-paragraphs.
Thanks for a wonderful scene.
JadeResponse from Jenwryn (Author of Where Rain And Smoke Mingle)
Firstly, thank you so much for this wonderful review! And then, secondly, thank you for pointing out the sense of smell - you're right, it does get terribly neglected and I shall have to make a point of considering it a little bit more! *hugs*