one-shot
Chapter 1 of 1
a_bees_buzzHave you ever wondered what would happen if your favorite characters were actually penguins? No? Pity.
ReviewedOn a bright, crystal-clear morning, Albus and Minerva looked on fondly as the little fairy penguins splashed in the shallows where the sea washed up over the edge of the ice floe. The little dears played as if they hadn’t a care in the world.
“Seventeen sorted into Gryffindor this year.” Minerva preened a bit, noting the plethora of red and gold scarves on the frolicking little blues as she ran an oh-so-casual flipper over the yellow and black plumes that marked her as a macaroni penguin.
Albus puffed his chest, as emperor penguins are wont to do, before replying. “They are a promising lot, Minerva. I am, however, concerned that young Harry and his friends appear to be missing. Are you aware of any mischief they might have had planned?”
Suddenly, squeals of terror rent the air, and the tiny creatures scattered across the ice floe as a great, whiskery walrus rose to the surface and launched himself onto their beach, tossing three bedraggled little birds before him. Even in their current sodden state, there was no mistaking the bushy, if dripping, crest of the female and the scar and freckles that marked her companions.
“I caught them playing with that damned dog-fish again. Only this time, they were less than half a mile from where the Dark Shark and his pod were feeding,” Severus snarled.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Diving for Dunderheads
20 Reviews | 4.0/10 Average
Have I mentioned I love your sense of humour? XD
oh just too funny. i laughed out loud. thankis
Next, for a Finding Nemo crossover!
I must say the title intrigued me and I couldn't resist taking a peek. This was cute and funny and brought a smile to my lips. Thanks for sharing! ~LW
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
You are quite welcome. It's a silly little thing, and I'm pleased it brought you a smile.
Where do you come up with these strange ideas? Did this plot bunny need to be exorcised or what?!
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Actually, this was a spin-off from an extended conversation by other people about the meaning of "AU". They were talking about the difference between tweaking one little detail of canon and extreme AU, which someone described as "everyone's penguins." I read that phrase and started typing. I've tried to find that discussion again so I can credit whoever it was who said that, but I didn't find it.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Actually, this was a spin-off from an extended conversation by other people about the meaning of "AU". They were talking about the difference between tweaking one little detail of canon and extreme AU, which someone described as "everyone's penguins." I read that phrase and started typing. I've tried to find that discussion again so I can credit whoever it was who said that, but I didn't find it.
hhahahha nice nice
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Thank you. :D
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Thank you. :D
Just what I needed to brighten my day. I'd love to see this as a cartoon. My only problem is if Sev is a mammal and Hermione is a bird, there is no possiblity for a future 'ship.'
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
See, there you're thinking like a Muggle. If all the students are fairy penguins, and all the adults aren't, then clearly these are magical penguins that grow up to take other forms. I wonder if otters and walruses are compatible species?
I would absolutely adore a cartoon of this. If I had any art skills at all, I'd try to do one.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
See, there you're thinking like a Muggle. If all the students are fairy penguins, and all the adults aren't, then clearly these are magical penguins that grow up to take other forms. I wonder if otters and walruses are compatible species?
I would absolutely adore a cartoon of this. If I had any art skills at all, I'd try to do one.
OMG! Crack-fic at it's most bizarre! Never contemplated this idea before...and don't know that I will ever again. ;)
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
It was inspired by a conversation about the range of meaning of "AU", from changing one tiny little detail (like, for example, Severus dying) to "everyone's penguins." I read that line and this happened.
Response from queenp (Reviewer)
I collect penguins, so when I saw the summary, I couldn't resist watching. I couldn't stop laughing and imagining everyone as you described them.
So would Mrs. Norris be a catfish?
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Of course. Though Tonks would be a chameleon, and not fishy at all.
if you just heard a long, loud, squeal of laughter, that was me. this was too funny. you did a great job of depicting which sea creatures were which characters. i love a good bit of silly, and this really hit the spot. thanks!
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
That was you? Quite a squeal you got there!
So glad you enjoyed it.
Bwah ha ha ha ha.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Made you laugh! Yay me.
Awww this is too cute. My son is so into penguins right now. He just loved when I read this to him. And his review is two thumbs up.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
I'm so glad I could make your boy happy! Please tell him thank you for me.
I absolutely love this to bits! I'm glad you decided to archive it, as rereading it made my afternoon!
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Always happy to brighten your day, my dear. :D
...walrus...::blink, blink::BWAHHAAAHAAA!::THUMP::Thank You! I needed that.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Thus answering the question of who really is the walrus. Coo Coo Ka Choo.
Glad I could make you laugh.
Response from Anathema (Reviewer)
Where the hell does that "Coo Coo Ka Choo" thing orginates from, anyway?!?My husband is driving me insane with that one. He has the habit of throwing in odd exclamations every once in a while, especialy when I'm trying to read in peace.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
It's a Beatle's song - "I am the egg man, I am the walrus, Coo coo ka choo." Then the fans started arguing about who was the walrus, Paul or John. Sorry about that, I was being obscure.
Haha, this is hilarious! Sooo random. I like the idea of Albus as an Emperor Penguin, and Walrus!Snape. The Dark Shark? *giggles*
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
I had fun working out what sort of creature each character should be. I'm glad you liked my choices.
Thanks for reviewing.
Oh my. XD
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Just a bit of random silliness.
This is great! I laughed so much people in the library were giving me dirty looks :D
yeah, ok, this was hilarious. completely unexpected and uncontemplated, but hilarious. but i have a really difficult time imagining severus as anything fat. that being said, i think he deserves more than being relegated to the role of an eel...hmm...
OMG this was ruddy HILARIOUS!!!
Missy AKA LovesRickman
THEATER of the ABSURD. He He He.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Very absurd!
Thanks for reviewing.
Response from a_bees_buzz (Author of Diving for Dunderheads)
Very absurd!
Thanks for reviewing.
Hilarious! That was great fun!