Falling Back Into The Shadows

Disclaimer: Potterverse belongs to JKR. No money is being made.

A/N:Just a reminder, this fic is now AU after the events of DH.

Thanks go again to the Sempra for the wonderful beta job.

Chapter Two – Falling Back Into the Shadows

I don't know what made me go back there. I hadn't been there in years, hadn't even laid eyes on the place. I really try to stay away from places that hold that much power over me. Whatever damage that was inflicted upon me by Potter and his gang of idiots, it was nothing compared to the horrors I suffered at the hands of my father.

Which is why, as I stood looking up at the old, dilapidated house, I felt a tremor of terror ripple through my soul, or at least, what was left of it. It was irrational, I knew. The house on Spinner’s End had stood uninhabited for over a decade.

I guess I went back to prove to myself I was no longer the person that I had been when I resided there. Back then, I was so thirsty for knowledge, the dark, forbidden fruit that seemed so unattainable, that I would stop at nothing to get it. The Dark Lord held the power to give me that knowledge - illegal potion ingredients that I had only read of in books; new, exciting Dark spells that I couldn't wait to experiment with.

Somewhere in all of that dark magic, the illegal potions, I somehow brewed myself a conscience. Suddenly I found myself questioning the Dark Lord's every word. Of course, I was smart enough to conceal the fact that I was now thinking independently. If there's one thing that the Dark Lord hates more than Mudbloods and blood traitors, it's a Death Eater with a brain. He wants us intelligent, certainly, but he doesn't want us to think too much. It's purely a survival technique, one that even now I can respect.

As I walked through the front door of my miserable childhood home, I surveyed my surroundings. The halls were as dark and gloomy as I remembered them. The tiny closet that had served as my bedroom stood off of the main hall, and, as I approached it, I was dismayed to find a note tacked to the door.

I read the contents quickly, noting the date printed on the aged parchment. November 17, 1980. I was astounded, not only because of the fact that this letter had lain here for two years, but rather because of the identity of the letter's author.

Regulus Black. I'd come across him numerous times during my tenure under the Dark Lord and hadn't given him more than just a passing thought. He wasn't important enough to the organization to be of any real use; he was merely Bellatrix's minion.

I remembered the boy from our school days and had been keen to avoid him. Anyone with even so much as a connotative association with the self-proclaimed Marauders, and I admit that I kept as wide a berth as I could. Regulus Black was very clearly the brother of Sirius Black. The boy was cut from a mould nearly identical to that of his idiot sibling, sharing the same grey eyes, short, dark, non-greasy hair, and sickening good looks that his brother had taunted me with not long enough ago. I was damned if I was going to spare so much as a kind glance for that family. Imagine my surprise when, after reading that letter, I realized the extent to which the stupid younger man had gone in order to circumvent the Dark Lord's plans.

Horcruxes. I should have guessed. The Dark Lord was always boasting about his quest for immortality. "I am keeping mortality at bay relatively nicely, wouldn't you say, my dear Severus?" The bitter cackle had chilled my very soul. It had been growing harder and harder to hide my disgust with the whole lot of them at that point.

"My Lord," the irritatingly high, excited voice of Bellatrix Lestrange had rung out unannounced. "Have you located the Philosopher's Stone?"

The Dark Lord had laughed his cold chuckle again. "It's so much better than that, dear Bella. Your stupidity amuses me, I thank you."

So, Regulus Black had stolen the Dark Lord's life insurance policy. Somehow, I doubted that my dear master had uncovered this fact. The simple execution that had been Black's fate would have been much showier for the thief if he had been discovered. The theft of the Horcrux would have infuriated the Dark Lord, but he had always respected courage and wit. He would have honoured the Black boy accordingly.

There's a house. All you have to do is seek out my brother.

Seek out his brother? I sneered at the decaying parchment in my hands. I wouldn't seek out Sirius Black if we were the only two people on earth, and I was on fire. Regulus undoubtedly remembered the relationship I shared with his moronic brother in our school days? Surely the boy couldn't have been foolish enough to believe that I would, under any circumstances, willingly walk back into that?

Or perhaps, I appear more stupid than what I really am. Yes, let's walk up to the man that tormented me from the age of eleven and embrace him like a brother! Surely he'll tell me all about the Horcrux! Undoubtedly he will have come to see the error of his ways and fall before me on bended knee!

What rubbish.

Explain what I've told you. He's a good man; he'll want to help.

Of course Sirius Black would want to destroy the Dark Lord. He was a lowly, selfish Gryffindor, always seeking glory. Yes, by all means, allow the dirty, greasy Slytherin to do the hard work. There's certainly nothing wrong with swooping in after the fact to claim the fame.

It’s not as though I’ve ever wanted the bloody fame. I’ve never wanted the praise, could never stand a kind word. I’ve never wanted someone to be proud of me. By all means, allow me to fall back into the shadows.

Yes, Sirius Black would love to help. And I would so not love to let him.

Regulus Black was a fool. Let someone else finish his hero's quest.

I crumpled the parchment under my fingers. "Thanks anyway, Regulus."

Sorry. I'm not anyone's hero.