Unhappy Surprise
Celisnebula6 Reviews | 6 Ratings, 0 Likes, 2 Favorites )
This is for the "page 394 challenge" posted at Doomspark's livejournal. It's a moment of reflection after everything seems to have gone south in a relationship.
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About Celisnebula
Author
Celisnebula
Member Since 2005 | 26 Stories | Favorited by 130 | 2 Reviews Written | 261 Review Responses
Geek girl extrodinare!
I write fan fiction all over the place, a lot of it is archived over at Sycophant Hex, since (as lovely as the Petualnt Poetess is, there's no crossovers allowed) I've been a huge crossover kick lately.
I have no one true pair in Harry Potter. I write Hermione and Snape the majority of the time, but I'm open to anything.
I've loads more fandoms than Harry Potter - far too many to name, so let's just say I'm well rounded, eh? Due to how long it takes me to write, I'm trying not to post things anymore unless they are finished. This includes my current works in progress. Never fear, I've not abandoned a thing, just won't be posting until they're done.
You can always check out my livejournal for the whole geeky scoop on me.
celisnebula.livejournal.com
Cheers!
Fixing Charm: Best Underappreciated Author - Winner
Polyjuicer: Best Diverse Author - Runner Up
Reviews for Unhappy Surprise
Boy, been down *that* road. Poor, sad little man. Doesn't he know that EVERYONE is terrified to become a parent? *sigh* Yes, I now it's only fiction.Elura
Response from Celisnebula (Author of Unhappy Surprise)
Thank you.
I love this story and i love the way you write their emotions/thoughts
Response from Celisnebula (Author of Unhappy Surprise)
I'm glad you enjoyed it -- the challenge didn't quite turn out the way I intended, but I like the end result.
Very powerful writing - I like that there is only narrative and no dialogue. Good stuff!
Response from Celisnebula (Author of Unhappy Surprise)
Thank you :o)
Oh, I really liked this. Some of your descriptions are so vivid. For example, "asphalt city" was so striking - stroke of sheer genius.
"the fact that the bars were gilded with love notwithstanding. "
I had to read that sentence a couple of times before it made sense, but when I did I liked it. If you ever redo this, you might want to consider re-working that one.
On the whole, I loved this. A brief snapshot of something, beautifully written. Thumbs up!
Response from Celisnebula (Author of Unhappy Surprise)
Oh my, thank you for the review. I had tried the gilded sentence a couple of different ways, but the one I used seemed to work the best, but I will take your advice under advisement. Again thanks for reading.
Amazing writting. You have a way with words.Tamara
Response from Celisnebula (Author of Unhappy Surprise)
Thank you so much! I'm pleased you enjoyed this.