Walls and Bars

Disclaimer: Not mine ... I wish.

Draco Malfoy strutted down the corridor moodily, brooding about the fact that he was feeling. He didn't know what he was feeling, exactly, but something... The last week with Granger constantly there had stirred him up more than he cared to admit. The thoughts running through his head couldn't have been more unwelcome. Here he was, wanting nothing more than to go on as he'd always been, believing people like Hermione Granger were members of another species, and one glance at that Mudblood witch in her sleeping attire threatened to rip him away from all of that. He wanted to hate her in peace, but all he could think about was the way his heart had sped up when Hermione had tackled him. He didn't know what it was with her... She was nothing special, he told himself.

Over the last week he'd found himself watching her way more than was strictly necessary. He kept telling himself that it was just a physical attraction – that wasn't an idea he was particularly happy about, but it was better than considering what else his thoughts could mean... Still – and he couldn't ignore this thought, much as he wanted to – if it was only a physical attraction, why did he think about her when she and her body weren't around to attract him?

Classes would start today in about an hour. He could only hope that his work and duties would keep his traitorous brain occupied.

He pushed open the doors to the Great Hall almost violently and stalked over to the Slytherin table, not even glancing around. He plopped down next to Vincent Crabbe and stared straight ahead, his eyes narrowed.

"Hey, Draco," said Vince through a mouthful of toast.

Draco grunted in acknowledgement and continued staring. His mind was uncomfortably crowded.

"Hello, lover..." said a flirty voice from his other side.

He turned, scowling in annoyance, to find Pansy Parkinson's dark features staring avidly at him.

"I've told you not to call me that, Pansy..." Draco grumbled irritably. "Especially not in public." Honestly, talk about little girls playing dress up... Pansy couldn't pull off a seductive tone if someone was speaking for her.

"No one heard me," she whispered, grabbing hold of his arm. Gods, she was so obvious. Who would find that sexy?

Draco rolled his eyes and looked around the room out of desperation, anything to give him an excuse to ignore the twit who was manhandling him. His eyes fell upon the Gryffindor table, specifically on Granger and the morons she called friends. He scowled again, shaking Pansy's arm loose.

"We haven't seen you much this week, Drakie. How's your new dorm?" Pansy asked, her voice dripping with sugar. "I can't believe that Mudblood slag got Head Girl." She took on a vicious tone as she continued. "It must be torture to know she's that close to you all the time, huh?"

"Tell me about it..." Draco muttered grumpily.

"I know what you need," whispered Pansy, a little too close to Draco's ear for comfort. She slipped her fingers up his thigh, and just then, something happened that distracted him from whatever Pansy had planned.

abababababab

Hermione had been quite busy over the last six days. Though school hadn't officially started until today, there had been lot to do. She'd spent some time each evening making up patrol schedules and planning meetings for the Prefects as well as spending as much time as she could with her friends. She wasn't living in Gryffindor tower anymore, so she knew that once classes began, it would be harder to find a moment with them.

She hadn't even bothered to include Malfoy in her planning – partly because she assumed he wouldn't be interested in helping her and partly because the looks he'd been giving her all week. The staring he'd been doing was rather unsettling. She'd opted to steer clear of him as much as possible, though she couldn't really avoid seeing him in the mornings... or in the evenings... or any time she stopped back by their quarters for something.

She didn't know what to think about what had happened on Tuesday. The whole experience had been, in a word, alarming. She thought it was best if she just pretended it hadn't happened since she didn't know how to explain it.

In all honestly, as busy as she'd been keeping herself, she hadn't really had much room to stew over the matter anyway. Her friends always had quite a bit to say about the Head Boy, though...

"Seriously, Hermione," Ron said that morning at breakfast, "is it okay up there?"

Hermione looked patiently at Ron. She didn't really want to talk to him about it, but she didn't want to be rude.

"Yeah, Ron. It's not a big deal. I can handle him."

"Yeah..." Ron muttered darkly. "Or he'll handle you. I don't like the way he's been staring at you. I think he has something planned." He shot a glare in the direction of the Slytherin table.

Hermione rolled her eyes, feeling uncomfortable. "Ron, really, I'm fine. We haven't even said more than a few words to each other all week. We're staying out of each other's way. I really don't want to talk about Malfoy anymore, all right?"

"I just – I want you to be careful, okay?" Ron said tentatively.

Hermione sighed and decided to ignore him. Honestly, she knew he was probably right. Draco Malfoy was no one to be trifled with, but she didn't want to discuss it with Ron, especially considering how weird she was feeling about the whole subject at the moment.

"Hermione, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I'm listening, Ron," she snapped.

Ron reached across the table and took hold of her hand.

Hermione jumped, startled. She looked at her hand almost perplexedly and wondered why it was in Ron's. Before she had time to think, Ron was leaning across the table – and then...

She didn't even have time to react. Ron's lips were on hers, almost smothering her. She hadn't even closed her eyes. She was acutely aware of the dreadful silence that had fallen around her.

A crash from the other side of the dining hall made her jump about a foot. She wondered vaguely what had caused the noise, but she was currently more concerned with what was going on in front of her. What the hell had just happened...?

Ron just kissed me. Why did Ron just kiss me? In front of everyone... Bugger.

Hermione's mouth fell open as she looked at Ron, wide eyed. Her face flushed red as supreme embarrassment warred with shock. She glanced around for a moment, feeling cornered, and found Harry and Ginny looking dumbfounded. Ginny recovered first.

"Ron!" she snapped.

Hermione found her voice and said, "Why did you do that?"

Ron looked just as surprised as the rest of them. "I don't know..." he breathed. "I just wanted to."

His explanation, or lack thereof, as it were, sent a thousand thoughts spinning through Hermione's mind, and for once, she couldn't think fast enough to sort them all out.

Ron kissed me... Why now?

Oh, God... this is a nightmare.

Hermione cleared her throat and quickly grabbed Ron's hand, pulling him up.

"Come on..." she muttered, not daring to look around.

Ron obeyed her, and the two of them left the Hall promptly, Hermione feeling like she couldn't breathe and couldn't move fast enough.

She walked swiftly down the hall and out the front doors to the grounds, then turned to Ron. Her first instinct was to be angry. She wanted to yell, "What the hell was that?" – but she controlled herself.

"Explain," she said in a succinct voice, surprisingly calmly.

Ron gaped at her for a moment, then said, "Hermione... I don't know why I did that."

Wrong answer.

If he was going to kiss her, embarrass her in front of the whole school, it had better be for a damned good reason. Not knowing was not good enough.

"You don't get to do that, Ron," she spat.

The truth was – if the kiss hadn't been so rushed and surprising... and public, it might have been nice. A year ago she might not have cared where their first kiss was. Now, she wasn't even sure there should have been a kiss at all.

She'd spent a long time wondering what kissing Ron would be like – several years, in fact – but never in any of her daydreams had she pictured that he would just... come at her out of nowhere. It was all wrong. He'd ruined it by being... Ron.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting for that?" she said, glaring at him. "And you just blow it in the middle of the Great Hall with everyone staring."

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean to... I just..." He came closer and said, "Let me try again."

She wanted to tell him to sod off, but part of her was curious. She wanted to know once and for all if there could ever be anything between her and Ron.

"Okay," she said after a long silence.

Ron didn't need to be told twice. He moved in and put his arms around her waist. She just stood there, waiting. He put his lips gently on hers, lightly testing her. When she didn't push him away, he tentatively probed her lips with the tip of his tongue. She opened her mouth, and he slipped his tongue inside and commenced exploring.

This was more like what she'd pictured – gentle, not smothering like the first had been.

"I've wanted you for so long, Hermione," Ron whispered, then continued to kiss her, his hands moving up to her hair.

She'd wanted him for a long time, too, but did she want him now? She focused on the kiss, determined to find out.

It wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, it was the opposite. It was... comfortable. It felt normal, like anything else felt. She had expected to feel something different, something... more. She focused on her stomach and realized she didn't feel it flipping. She focused on her head and realized that she couldn't hear blood rushing in her ears. Her heart wasn't racing; she didn't feel short of breath; she didn't feel any tingling – these were all things she thought she'd feel.

As it was, she felt... nothing... at all.

She pulled away and looked into Ron's eyes.

"So?" he asked breathlessly.

"Ron..." She looked at him and knew she couldn't lie. She didn't want to hurt him, but it would be worse to lead him on when she didn't return his feelings, as much as she would have liked to. "It just not... there."

Ron looked away quickly, his jaw clenching, and then he looked back at her with a plea in his eyes.

"Don't say that, Hermione. It is there," he insisted.

"Not for me," she said, knowing and hating that she was causing him pain. "I'm sorry. You're the best friend I've ever had. I don't want to hurt you."

Ron flinched as she said 'friend' and glared at the ground.

"Too late, Hermione."

He turned and walked away, and she resisted going after him. She wanted to comfort him, but she knew she was the wrong person to do it. Still, that didn't make hurting him or realizing that she would never again have romantic feelings for him any easier. She felt her eyes stinging and stared at the ground, her vision blurred.

Ron disappeared behind the doors, and Hermione walked slowly to the front steps of the school. She sank down heavily and began to cry.

I just lost my best friend.

abababababab

What the bloody fuck!

Draco stood up violently, knocking several dishes off the table in front of him. They crashed loudly to the floor, but Draco didn't notice. Pansy jumped aside in shock. No doubt she figured he was reacting to the hand she had been sliding up his thigh.

She moved to touch him again, but he shrugged her off. His attention was entirely on what was going on about twenty feet away at the Gryffindor table.

The Weasel had his foul lips on Granger.

Draco didn't even have time to berate himself for the inappropriate anger welling up inside of him. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have told himself to look away and stop thinking about the stupid Mudblood, that what she did was none of his business and shouldn't interest him, and that she wasn't worthy of his thoughts any more than Weasley was worthy of her lips... But, no such admonition found him; he was too busy gritting his teeth and glowering.

Push him off... Slap his ugly face! he silently commanded, no, begged.

Granger pulled away, looking shocked, and a triumphant smile formed on Draco's face. It all happened so fast... Just as he felt a little calm returning to him, he saw Granger take the Weasel's hand. His face tightened at this and quickly turned into a scowl as Granger stood up and walked out of the hall, pulling Weasley after her.

Draco couldn't stop himself – he followed. He walked out the doors of the Great Hall and saw Weasley disappear out the front doors of the school. He felt his feet moving and wondered what in hell had control over him.

He stopped in front of the window next to the door and watched as Weasley and Granger argued. Draco was pleased to see that she was telling him off. Then, very suddenly, Weasley kissed her again, and she didn't push him away this time... or slap him, as Draco would have preferred. He felt blood rush to his face in inexplicable fury.

His eyes narrowed contemptuously, but then he turned and walked away, wringing his hands in disgust at himself and the situation.

What the hell was wrong with him? Following a Mudblood? Wanting a Mudblood, if that was what you could call it? Being jealous of someone else for kissing her? And not just any Mudblood. Granger. Hermione fucking Granger.

He hated Hermione Granger.

He hated everything about her from her bushy hair to the way her hand automatically shot into the air like a fucking roman candle every time she was asked a question. He hated the way she walked. He hated that she wasn't afraid of him. He hated her sidekicks, and he hated himself for forgetting all those things.

And, on top of all that, she was snogging Ron Weasley.

Weasley! In public!

Well, they deserved each other. The Mudblood and Blood Traitor. Draco scoffed loudly, shaking his head.

As he strode down the hall and toward his first class, the walls that had surrounded Draco Malfoy for seventeen years rebuilt themselves, stronger than ever. The bars that he had situated to protect himself snapped back into place. He was a stone wall. He always had been, and he always would be.

No Mudblood girl was going to change that, no matter how much her eyes sparkled when she laughed. In that instant, he despised Hermione Granger for making him forget it and himself for letting her, even for a moment.

SB's Notes: Okay! Here we are again. You know, of course, that a healthy dose of angst is coming up. I hope you liked this chapter (as much as it's possible to like Ron kissing Hermione), and I hope you enjoy the angsty goodness to come!

Thanks to SW69 for her betaing skills. SW has mad game! ;)

Reviews are appreciated!