An Insult to Poetry

Okay, forgive me this indulgence… I should explain why I’m subjecting you to this madness. My older brother, Josh, came home from church one day and told me a story that I thought was funny, so I decided to turn it into a poem. I highly doubt anyone will find it as funny as I did, but then again, it’s definitely one of those things where ‘you had to be there.’ I know the people involved, and my brother is a wonderful storyteller, so I got a laugh out of it… Still, that doesn’t explain why I felt the need to make this travesty out of it… I blame it on not enough sleep and too much caffeine.

DISCLAIMER: This poem has no intrinsic value whatsoever; you've been warned. Any eyeballs injured through excessive rolling are not the responsibility of the author.

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“So, how you doin’?” said Josh to Mike.

“I’m cool,” was Mike’s reply.

“I didn’t get to bed ‘til four o’ clock;

I’m seriously gonna die.”

“That sucks,” whispered Josh. “I got up at eight.

Mike, good sir, why were you up so late?”

Mike grinned and raised his brows a bit.

“Well, Josh, I had a date.”

Josh understood but spoke anyway.

“I take it that’s a good thing.”

Mike nodded a little and grinned a lot more.

“I finally gave her a ring!”

“Right on!” said Josh. “What did she say?”

“She said she’d really love to!”

“Congratulations, Mike, my man!

I knew you had it in you.”

“Thanks, Josh. You know, I’m so excited!

She’s a truly amazing girl.

I didn’t think she’d say ‘yes’ to me.

I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

“‘Scuse me, dudes,” said their pal, Jeff Aird.

“I couldn't help overhearing.

Just let me say that’s really cool!

Wish I was gettin’ married…”

Mike looked at Josh; Josh looked at Mike,

their amusement just barely unsaid.

“Jeff,” said Josh, “I’m curious to know––

Just when did you get out of bed?”

They chuckled together and Jeff was confused.

“Fairly early, I even combed my hair.”

At this, Mike and Josh couldn’t stand it anymore;

Their laughter filled the air.

“Really?” asked Josh, barely containing himself,

for Jeff’s hair was quite askew.

“If he combed it at all,” Mike said with a snort,

“it must have been with a shoe.”

The boys doubled over; the Bishop ambled over.

“You know, you’re really disrupting your friends.”

They were silent for a moment, but then their eyes met.

The disrupting started over again…

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I did warn you...