Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“What are you doing with Hermione?”

“Good morning, Molly. Would you like to come in for a spot of tea?”

“You’re not going to put me off by faking good manners.”

“Of course not,” said Severus. “I’m not even going to be particularly hospitable. All I’m going to offer you is oolang tea with sunflower seeds.”

“Overlong?” asked Molly. “You steeped it too long?”

Severus explained that oolang was a Chinese variety, and he had developed a taste for it since handling some manuscripts with a tale about Salazar’s father, Sebastion, who had intervened between the dragon Yu Long and a Chinese prefect Di Renjie, or was it the other way around. The manuscript was in Olde Englishe and not easy to read.

Molly gave her tea a dubious look. “You’re letting a young girl handle magical manuscripts that give a person strange desires?”

“I didn’t let her touch them,” said Severus.

As he took her cloak, he noticed a Department of Mysteries Badge on it. The reason for Molly Weasley having one of those wasn’t easy to read either.

“You mean, you let her do the dangerous work of getting the treasures, and then you keep them from her?” asked Molly.

There was a short pause before Molly asked Severus why he was chuckling. She didn’t see anything funny about exposing a student to danger and cheating her.

“Where’s the cream and sugar?” asked Molly. “You were right about not being hospitable, and Hermione belongs with Ron.”

Severus replied that Lavender Brown might have another opinion. Molly asserted that was only superficial sex and Ron would soon grow tired of it. Severus was thinking that Ron was a strange boy. He thought about Ron having a little superficial sex with Hermione and decided that the next time he saw Ron he would remind the boy how lucky he was to have found someone as precious as Lavender. “Don’t give her up. She’s a jewel.”

Molly was protesting that an innocent young girl should not be put in jeopardy from evil artifacts that, the gods only knew, had strange powers. Severus was saying that Hermione’s primary activity was collecting tales from the era.

“She’s spending time in the Restricted Section,” said Molly. “You’ve got to keep her out of there.”

Severus was saying that the elves seemed to have an extensive oral tradition. Molly was arguing that they were twisted narratives that would have an insidious influence on a naïve mind. Severus had never believed young girls ever had a naïve mind, and he was about to ask Molly about her mind at that age, but he thought better of it and only asserted that the elf stories were straightforward accounts of adventures.

Molly clinched her argument. “You can’t claim your tales have merit if they don’t have a moral.”

Severus remembered the troll saga and thought Don’t expose your backside to Salazar. He rendered the expurgated version. “Don’t turn your back on a Slytherin.”

“Maybe there’s some value in those old stories after all,” said Molly.

Perhaps Molly is the Mystery, thought Severus.

*****

“Molly was here,” said Severus.

“Was she trying to reassure everyone about Ron’s honest intentions again?” asked Hermione.

Severus walked around the land mine and said, “She’s concerned about your spending time in the Restricted Section.”

Hermione considered that tidbit. “What do we know about administrations, sir? By doing the opposite, we can’t go wrong.”

“But she has a point,” said Severus. “I’m exposing a student to danger.”

“Au contraire, sir, being aware of my irrepressible curiosity and the dangers of my acting alone, you have decided to accompany me to keep me from harm as a responsible professor should.”

A little while later, the two were deeper in the Restricted Section than they had ever been before.

Severus was considering a painting covered with cloth that they hadn’t noticed before and said, “We’ve been looking in books but haven’t found anything.”

Hermione removed the cloth and stepped back. “It’s Salazar.”

She looked again. “And an elf. The elf is wearing armor.”

Severus waved his wand for the incantations used to restore castle portraits that had lost their vigor, but nothing happened. Finally, Hermione stood before the artifact and declaimed.

Hear this oft-told tale of Salazar

Hero wizard who came from afar.

Who stood alone against evil trolls,

Head-bashing, bone-crushing, deadly foes.

He swore a fine oath: They Shall Not Pass.

He was determined to kick some ass.

“Damn right, he kicked some ass,” said the elf, “but he didn’t come from that far away, and he sure as hell wasn’t alone,” whereupon the elf beat on his shield with what appeared to be a huge meat cleaver.

Hermione was thinking that Salazar was more egalitarian than portrayed. She was also thinking the elf might be a tough customer.

Severus spoke. “I’m Professor Snape.”

“Sir Reginald van de Jan,” replied the elf. “I assume you recognize Salazar Slytherin, a Lord of Hogwarts.”

“Can’t he speak?” asked Hermione, glancing at the Salazar image that seemed to be both glaring at them and sizing them up.

“What makes you think that Lord Salazar would address one such as you?” asked Sir Reginald.

Maybe Salazar isn’t as egalitarian as I assumed, thought Hermione.

“It was a different age,” said Severus as if reading her mind.

“Is it only you two who have come before us?” asked the elf.

“Just us,” said Hermione.

The elf gripped his cleaver and shifted his stance.

“Just us, Sir Reginald,” said Hermione.

“You live in diminished times,” asserted Sir Reginald, “but I’m certain the elves have composed an epic poem about the decline that stirs the very fibre of our beings. What do they call it?”

“I’m sorry,” said Hermione. “I don’t know it.”

Sir Reginald looked puzzled. “You are well past the age to hear great literature. Ah, I understand. You’re retarded. That’s why they have you cleaning portraits instead of training for worthwhile endeavors.”

“It’s a Slytherin Elf,” Hermione whispered to Severus. “I didn’t know they came in that flavor.”

“You do not whisper in the presence of Lord Salazar,” stated the elf.

“My apologies,” said Hermione, “but I was struck by the design on your shield. The ancient and honorable houses have simple and bold insignia as befits their status, but despite your illustrious standing, your shield has a complicated pattern. Is that some mark of special favor, Sir Reginald?”

“Your mind is not entirely dim, my child,” said the elf.

“I see the depiction of many treasures, Sir Reginald,” said Severus, “in particular, this silver spoon near the middle.”

“We came. We cooked. We swept the impertinent assholes before us,” said Sir Reginald, waving his weapon.

“That must be the very cleaver that carried you through to victory,” said Hermione.

“I would record your shield, if I may?” said Severus, pulling out a camera. “Its beauty and significance, along with yours, needs wider appreciation.”

Sir Reginald struck a pose. Even Salazar’s features appeared to soften.

After they had left the Restricted Section, Hermione turned to Severus. “What is it, sir?”

“The design on the shield is a map,” he said. “It will lead us to the silver spoon.”

Success.

Combing two prompts from MuseAmusant.

- Molly is hired by the Department of Mysteries

- Hermione befriends a portrait in a hidden corner of the Restricted Section