Chapter 2
Chapter 2 of 3
stgulikHermione gets to the bottom of the matter.
ReviewedDear Hermione:
How delightful to hear from you after all these years! So you applied to Zauberberg for your graduate studies? I considered attending there on a scholarship, but then Oxford made its offer, and I'm afraid they lured me away.
Hermione paused to indulge in a satisfying eye-roll. She never would have thought in a million years she would have occasion to write to Justin Finch-Fletchley, but her curiosity had led her far afield.
In the hopes of finding someone who might know the inside story on the peculiar goings-on at Sebastian & Sebalius Publishing, she had written to Luna Lovegood, who was hoping to finish the definitive work on nargles. Luna, it turned out, did not know anything about S&S, but referred her to Parvati Patil. Parvati, in turn, provided Justin's address. Hermione remembered Justin as being quite a gossipmonger at Hogwarts; surely he would deliver the scoop if anyone could.
I look forward to the day we are both published authors! I don't know how much you've heard about my trilogy, but it is a work of historical fiction set in the era of the discovery of Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration. It is about a well-bred yet misunderstood young boy who comes of age against the backdrop of...
"Erk," she gagged, skipping ahead until she found what she had been looking for.
...not much to tell you on the subject of S&S Publishing. In all honesty, the first installment of my trilogy was declined four months ago, with virtually no word of explanation! All I received at first was a form letter, very crudely employed.
Well naturally, I demanded an interview with the editor, to ask for further explanation, which I felt was my due. But when I sat down with Snape, he did nothing but abuse me personally and call my story names it still pains me to think ab...
Wait. Hermione blinked and went back a line. Snape? Severus Snape was an editor at S&S?
...names it still pains me to think about and which I will not share with a member of the fairer sex. Suffice it to say, it took me back to our days in the Potions classrooms at Hogwarts. I am certain you remember him all too well, and that I need say no more! Our former Potions professor has not changed a bit.
I do not like to spread rumors, but I do happen to know that Sebastian Publishing had a difficult time gaining its feet when it first opened. It is still nowhere near financially solvent after six months. You would think they would be eager to acquire manuscripts for that reason, but do you know, they have not produced one book yet? Strange yet true!
However, lately Sebastian acquired a major new investor named Sebalius...someone who will force this Sebastian fellow to earn a return on his investment, and soon. So I imagine we will see a change over there in the near future.
The letter closed with a promise from Justin to send her an autographed copy of his novel, just as soon as it was duly appreciated by the right publishing house. Hermione laid aside the parchment, deep in thought.
Justin had said a change had happened...a new investor whose name was added to the letterhead. And right after that, Hermione's book had been picked up, perhaps against this Mr. Sebastian's wishes. Perhaps the investor, this Sebalius person, was the one whose decision had netted Hermione her contract.
She was sure now that the seemingly contradictory letters from S.T. Sebastian were the result of the conflict going on between him and Sebalius.
And Snape? How did he factor into all of this?
The last she had heard of Severus Snape, he had been rescued from certain death after Voldemort had tried to execute him, but had lived in seclusion for a long time. After charges were finally dropped against him by the Wizengamot, Snape had disappeared from sight. Why had he now taken a editing job at a publishing house? Why wasn't he teaching anymore?
She stretched and yawned, suddenly fed up with the whole subject. She wondered if S&S was worth the energy she was investing in them. There was a respected publishing house here in Zauberberg...
No, damn it. Her first book belonged in Britain. She had a contract; for now, she would tough it out at S&S. She would think of something.
There was a knock on her door. "Hermione! Beeil dich! Sie warten schon auf der Veranda auf uns."
"Einen Moment!" she called. She bounded out of her chair with a laugh and grabbed her warmest cloak, all thoughts of troublesome publishers and former professors temporarily forgotten.
-o0o-
To the staff at Sebastian & Sebalius Publishing,
Happy Christmas to all!
With affection...
Hermione Granger
P.S. Here we are...the Class of 2001! (I am third from the left.)
The tiny picture featured a dozen or so young witches and wizards standing in a row on the front stoop of a venerable-looking grey edifice, all waving, laughing and stamping their feet in the cold.
Severus brought the photograph close enough to touch with his nose, then Summoned a magnifying glass and stared some more.
Lucius opened the door. "Severus, Narcissa wanted me to remind you..."
Severus snapped his head upward so hard he heard his neck creak. He slipped the glass to his lap. "Yes?"
Lucius arched an eyebrow. "...to come 'round at eight for drinks before dinner. What do you have there? Is that Miss Granger's class photograph? I saw it earlier." The eyebrow arched higher. "She's fairly attractive now, is she not?"
"Is she? I hadn't really noticed."
-o0o-
Dear Miss Granger,
It is customary for a book to have a picture of the author on the back cover. Mrs. Arbuckle informs me she will require a few portrait photographs to choose from, of good resolution, including at least one full-length pose.
Sincerely,
S.T.S.
-o0o-
Dear Mr. Sebastian,
Enclosed are the photographs requested by Mrs. Arbuckle. Forgive me if you have been waiting by the owlery window for my reply. I hope I didn't inconvenience you. As the first and only client of S&S, the obligation to be prompt in my correspondence weighs heavily upon me, for I know if I am late writing, you will have nothing else to do.
"Bugger," murmured Severus. How the hell did Hermione Granger find out she was the only client at S&S? Now she would sense an edge over him. Now she'd never agree to leave and take her silly little book with her. Stubborn Gryffindors. He shook his head. If she weren't so willful, he thought with grudging admiration, this would almost be funny.
"Mrs. Arbuckle! I'll take a cup of tea."
"I am not your house-elf, Mr. Snape," came the tart reply. "There's a kettle and a box of Earl Grey in the kitchenette, unless William finished it off."
"I should fire you all and take on house-elves."
"La!" she laughed. "You couldn't afford house-elves on what you pay us."
Snape humphed and returned his attention to Hermione's letter.
It seems to me that, with all the time you must have on your hands, you would have nothing better to do than, oh, I don't know...read the manuscript and see that it's not a children's book? But for whatever reason, Mr. S.T.S., you do not seem to want to take my work seriously. Therefore, I hereby issue you a challenge.
Pick any one of the practical examples in my book and attempt it yourself. I trust you to make a bona fide effort to recreate my work.
If you find my Charms theory lacking, or if you cannot in all honesty replicate the results I achieved, then tell me so directly, without threat of puppet shows and the like, and I will end our contract and take the book elsewhere.
But if you do find the results satisfactory, I hope you agree to work with me in a more cooperative spirit.
H.G.
"Bugger," he said again. In spite of himself, he felt a pinprick of a guilty conscience at her last words. It might be that he had been slightly too hard on her. Though he had skimmed the entire book, he had dwelled more than anything on the autobiographical parts and had not devoted much attention to the bits where she nattered on about Charms theory. He supposed it was the fault of her being a former student, someone he could not envision as an adult and contributing member of society.
He turned his attention to the large envelope, tipping it and letting the photographs slide into his waiting hand. He studied each of them in turn, lingering on the full-length pose.
Perhaps he had been a bit hasty in dismissing her work.
-o0o-
For the second time in his life, Severus Snape stood in the December snow in the Forest of Dean, freezing his arse off and wondering about Hermione Granger.
To be absolutely sure to replicate her results, he had opted the next afternoon to come to the location in Britain she remarked in her manuscript was the site of one of her best successes...a nearly-unbreakable, soundproof protective enchantment for hiding in plain sight.
Now he pulled her draft out of his pocket. It had been pre-bound in unmarked grey cardboard, but he had dog-eared several pages of practical spells.
Licking his finger...which promptly froze...he turned to a page and pulled out his wand.
What is she studying these days?
Concentrate, Snape.
Does she always wear that matronly bun? How long is her hair now?
Concentrate!
"Oi, boss, we're freezing out here!"
Severus's wand arm dropped and he huffed in frustration. Word had gotten around quickly that Snape, a.k.a. Mr. Sebastian, was finally going to peer-review their one and only client's manuscript. Eager for a change of scenery, the rest of the staff had invited themselves along on the field trip.
Severus felt he should have ordered them to stay behind. But never in his life had he worked with adult subordinates. Most of them were older than him. Being in charge of a group of people who were neither children nor sociopathic Death Eaters threw him off his game a little.
Worse, they all seemed to be Hufflepuffs, the lot of them; insults rolled right off their backs. They were cheerful to a fault and tended to ignore his sour moods as they went about their daily business. He couldn't even threaten to dismiss them...they barely got any pay as it was. They were doing him a favor by staying on, and they knew it. So there was nothing for it but to let them tag along.
He walked back to where Amelia stood in the snow, chatting with her brother in-law William and a knot of fidgety men and women. "Mrs. Arbuckle, perhaps you and the others should concentrate on replicating one of Miss Granger's new spells. The sooner we fail, the sooner we go back."
"Right-o, boss. Shall we start a fire, then?"
"Certainly, if you wish to."
He moved off to a more secluded spot, wincing at the boisterous sounds of an incipient snowball fight. Hufflepuffs.
Now, Snape...concentrate.
Holding the book in one hand, he muttered the spells in a low voice. "Cave Inimicum... Salvia Hexia... Muffliato... Repello Muggletum... Imperviumaris..." Wait. Can that be right? What does that one...?
It took several tries to get through the list in the right order, using the correct wand movements for each and taking pains to blend them the way she suggested. But at last, he was rewarded with a peculiar, soundless roar that caused his ears to feel pillowed in silence. Energy crackled between his fingers and the hair on his arms stood on end. The mixture of spells blended into a rich fusion of purpose such as he had never felt before.
William's watery blue eyes passed right over him and then returned to scan the area with mounting concern. He's bloody disappeared, mouthed the older man, and every pair of eyes turned to stare right through Severus, making his scalp crawl. Someone else actually walked forward, right toward Severus, but inexplicably veered off when she was only three feet away. No, they could not see him at all...could not even perceive the shield itself; he stood alone in the snow, completely disguised and unwillingly enchanted by Hermione's spell.
She had done this all by herself, as a mere student. She had invented a new...well, not a new spell, exactly, but a new result to a combination of old spells. Severus could not remember ever being so impressed with another human being in his life.
At last, he waved his wand and spoke the word that tore down the enchantment. Bemused, he walked back to the group. There was a sound of excited voices, and above them came an unholy screech from his editor.
"What th'...bloody hell!" cried Amelia. "Will you look at this?"
Amelia was peering into her large, ugly leopard-print handbag. She reached a hand in ... and kept on reaching, all the way up to her shoulder. No arm appeared below.
Someone whistled in amazement. Severus was surprised to realize it had been him.
-o0o-
Dear Miss Granger:
The editors have informed me they feel the theory is sound enough to proceed apace in publishing your work as an academic, rather than popular, work. We shall continue in that vein for the time being.
Enclosed is a new draft book cover.
Sincerely,
Severus Tobias Snape
P.S. We could also go with red and gold, but I thought the colors vulgar.
Hermione held the rich blue book cover up to the candlelight to admire the silver letters that played across its face. At that moment, it was the most handsome thing she had ever beheld. Her very first book cover. And not one skulking child to be found.
Success.
She smiled to herself, already composing the next letter to her challenging publisher, S.T. Snape.
-o0o-
A/N: "Beeil dich! Sie warten schon auf der Veranda auf uns," roughly translated, means "Hurry up! They're already waiting for us on the porch." A lovely reader fixed my German. Thank you, Serena!
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hyperbole
23 Reviews | 5.13/10 Average
What a delight. I only wish there was more story to read. Well done!
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Wow, thank you for the nice compliment!
Aww, I liked the ending! The bickering back and forth was pretty funny too. :)
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
I'm glad you liked it!
HG publishing her first book, how the plot grew to ensnare us and to reveal who the publishers were. I laughed out loud when HG realised it was Snape and his own bellow of being discovered then played by HG - that was hilarious. Then for him to turn up unexpectedly at her graduation - lovely touch. Least she saved her fellow graduates from a very boring speech.
Loved it.
Thanks for writing and sharing with us.
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
The struggle to gain the upper hand just made them like each other more. I appreciate your taking the time to write.
This was a lovely story! I must say, part of me had hoped that Snape would have brought Hermione's parents with him, cured. But the fact that they weren't there was more realistic and didn't take away from the happy ending. You definitely left me with a smile on my face!
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Ooh, I never thought of that! That would have been a dramatic ending under other circumstances. Thanks for reading and sharing with me.
Can I just tell you how sweet, wonderful, loving, and lovely your story is? Reading this final chapter made me feel good. In fact, I read it three times simply for the joy of it.I'm so happy Severus went to Hermione's graduation! And I'm even gladder that he kissed her... several times... and thank you for this marvelous story. You do it so well.Hugs, Beffey
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Beffey, thanks for reading! The bit with the kiss(es) was controversial among the readership in the stgulik household, but in the end everyone decided it worked, and I'm glad you thought so, too.
Oh but this was fun! So much fun that next time it's my turn to do a rec at one bad man on LJ, this is it. So if no one else volunteers for Saturday between now (a shade past one in the morning) and when I get back up, you're it.
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Very cool! You've made my day! Hey, I guess I'd better get in there and fix the German in Chapter 2 before the guests arrive.
What a hilarious chapter! There isn't a single word that isn't perfect and perfectly funny. Justin was just brimming with pertinent information, and Hermione was brilliant with her letters. I loved it when Lucius caught Severus armed with a magnifying glass and her class picture.The mental picture I had of the Great Severus and Company field trip is priceless. Thank you for such an entertaining belly laugh. Being surrounded by subordinates who are older than he, and Hufflepuffs who can't be intimidated has got to be a new experience for our Potions master.Beth
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Those Huffs will keep his business afloat like no others. He just doesn't appreciate them yet.
Oh, my aching head. Severus is going to regret not having read Hermione's manuscript, isn't he? The "eye-watering, poison green" of the proposed book cover cracked me up- especially as he had ended his letter with that "we can also go with magenta" post script.*iz grinning* Let the games begins. Is Lucius prepared to referree this brewing battle? Well done!Beth
Response from braye27 (Reviewer)
PS: I really love the address- 52 Hyperb Alley!!!
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Thanks for taking the time to comment! I hope you enjoy the rest of the games.
This was great fun, a really wonderful story, particularly the letters pretending to assume Hermione had written a children's book. (It's almost a novel in letters altogether. I do wonder whether it began life as one.) But I confess that I liked the first two chapters so much that I found the SSHG PromptFest and read the rest of it there. And then I guiltily read the whole thing again when you posted the final chapter. As a result, I was a bit puzzled by some of the editorial changes you made, and curious about the reasons. (I always wonder why people change things.) In the first version, when Hermione asks if Snape had known Schwimmer when he was at the Wiesbaden Academy, Snape says merely that he'd known Schwimmer at university, disliked him, and that Schwimmer always called him "Sevvy," nicely setting up your final punch line. And in your newer version this is omitted, and instead Snape says they were at university together in Prague. The change puzzled me completely!
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Thanks for reading this story - twice! And so thoroughly! You're right, I did make small changes between the promptfest version and the one here on TPP. With regard to Schwimmer, I wanted him and SS to have been university students together - not teachers or teacher-student. Hermione asked if SS knew him from Wiesbaden Academy When I went to put it up here, I felt "Wiesbaden Academy" didn't sound "Uni" enough. So I had SS say he made Schwimmer's acquaintence at university (in Prague - foreign but not glamourous ).
Response from amr (Reviewer)
Thanks! And I can see that "Sevvy" sounds more fellow-st8udent-ish than professor-to-student-ish, so perhaps you didn't need to prepare for it! It really was a lovely story.
Lovely, lovely work! The flow and dynamics of the letters with the evolving bantering and understanding and love unfolding is.just.so.wonderful! The coming together of equal minds, hearts and souls has got ol' naggie pooh all mushy & squishy! looking forward to more and more! *squish*
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Nag, you're the best. Thanks for all your help and encouragement!
Thank you so much for giving us a most fantastic story, I have enjoyed every chapter. Their dialogue through letters were absolutely brilliant, I am so impressed over how well you told their story that way. For Severus to attend her graduation were icing on the cake and the end was just perfect:-))
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to review!
So happy for the update and I can't wait to read Hermiones new letter to her publisher:-))
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Glad you're sticking with 'em.
Heeee! This is so delicious! The turning of events and revelations between the two of them is exquisite--one can just feel Severus gritting his teeth, and can't help cheering as Hermione tilts the scale in her favour--a great battle of the wills! Brilliant!xxx
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
He just had to come around in his own time.
Well done, Hermione!Now all I'm waiting for is their meeting face to face. If S.T.S. can concentrate on her face, that is... ;)
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Thanks for taking the time to comment. You make me laugh!
Response from Chaoticclara (Reviewer)
It is the least I can do. Thank *you* for posting.
Although severus is a bibliophile I haven't so far read a story where he works in publishing. Thank you for an intrigueing idea and story!
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
It does seem like a good fit. Thanks for reading!
A devious and bitter Snape, a righteous Hermione, and a scheming Lucius. What is not to love about this beginning?I'm looking forward to the rest of the story - and to Snape being put in his place by Hermione. He deserves to be, and she deserves to be the one to do it.
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Yes, he does!
Bahahaha. This is awesome. Absolutely hilarious.
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
I'm so glad you like it! Thanks for reading.
Oh goody, I love a good figth:-) I must admit though that I hope Severus will have to eat some crows before Hermione blast him to pieces. As much as I love a good argument, and I will be the first to say that your dialogue is brilliant and the insults Severus throws at Hermione are those of a mastermind, I do have issues with Hermione not only having to be considered an idiot, but also have to admit to Severus that she is an idiot and totally unworthy of any praise, before he can "belittle" him self to care for someone so unworthy. There are so few female characters that are allowed to be strong and smart and loved at the same time so I admit to be very protective of the Hermione-character. For me Severus have always been one of the few (along with Lucius) men secure enough in themself deal with a brilliant woman, and I do hope this Severus is one. So as much as I do enjoy the "war" I do hope that Severus will have to face the consequenses of jugding Hermione based on her name, being Gryffindor and Harrys friend. (And hopefully not because she is muggleborn and on the "winning" side of a war that probably left shades of grey on his own reputation). If Severus wants a future, it is about time he left the past and his old prejudices behind:-))
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Hi
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
, thanks for reading. And hang in there! Hermione has one or two surprises up her sleeve for Severus.
What a wickedly, wonderful cantankerous Severus making Hermione's life *frustrating*... *evil cackling* I love this premise, and Lucius, of course, being bored and not letting Severus have his way is delightful! Hmmn... Have a feeling Severus will soon feel the wrath of a much wronged Hermione--as well he should; the irascible publisher has provoked the wrong witch;-)xxx
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
He has, hasn't he? I almost feel sorry for him, getting on her bad side like this. ;-) One wonderful result of the promptfest was making friends with you. Thank you for taking me on, and for becoming my very own "nag"! You're the best.
LOVED the banter back & forth, and esp the scene of the charms in action in the woods! :D
Response from stgulik (Author of Hyperbole)
Thank you for taking the time to comment! The scene in the woods was very popular with readers.