Chapter 5 - Feelings Change

Chapter 5: Feelings change

Hermione hated that she needed to be looked after.

On the second day after their arrival in Sydney, after having done no more than sleep and eat, she was already thoroughly bored of the small hotel room. Since it was underground, the 'window' was rather like those at the British Ministry. She got light and the weather, but no actual view or noise.

However, there was some novelty to her situation. Unlike in Grimmauld Place, her frustration was almost solely confined to her circumstances; she had very few complaints of her roommate.

It was quite obvious that Professor Snape did not feel comfortable around her. Yesterday, their first day in Sydney, Hermione had awakened in the evening to find him gone. He had left a note to say that he would not be out for more than a couple of hours, and that he would be back with dinner. That had been all well and good, except that, at that time, Hermione had needed to use the loo.

Really, really, really needed to use the loo.

The look on his face when he had returned fifteen minutes later to find Hermione, on the floor at the foot of her bed, whimpering that she needed 'the toilet, now', had been one of co-mingled horror and discomfort. However, he had immediately spurred himself into action and done all that was necessary to assist her. That he felt somewhat guilty for leaving her in the first place was made apparent through his attentiveness to her for the rest of the evening. He allowed her to determine what they should eat for dinner, then entertained her by allowing her to help him with the crossword in the newspaper he had obtained, albeit that he did both these kindnesses with the demeanour of a small child told to share his cake with a friend he didn't much like.

This second day of Hermione's convalescence had already proved to be more trying for them both. Unwilling to leave, but obviously unhappy to stay, Severus had paced the room – to the window, to the chair, back to his bed, back to the chair – so many times that Hermione had needed to grit her teeth tightly in the effort not to snap at him to just leave!

Eventually, with what she had thought was an unremarkable conversation starter, she had managed to push him out at last.

'So, what were you doing with yourself before you came with me to Australia?'

He had stopped his pacing and whipped around to face her as if stung.

'That is none of your business, Miss Granger. It should be enough for you that I had the time to accompany you on this little jaunt to the other side of the world.'

Although it had been mildly satisfying to get a rise out of him just to break the monotony of the day, Hermione had been unwilling to provoke him further. She was, after all, still dependent on him for simple things like food and toilet breaks.

After a moment of silence, he had abruptly added, 'I will assist you to the bathroom now, and then I will go out for one hour. I should send Minerva a letter to let her know that we arrived safely.'

When he returned an hour later as promised, he appeared to be in a much better mood. He indulged in a lengthy rant about the price of international owl postage, but he was, at least, content enough with his expedition to sit still. More than that, after they ate lunch, he pulled a small package out of his pocket and after enlarging it, unceremoniously dumped it on Hermione's lap.

Books.

A short history of Australian wizardry and a very Muggle street directory.

Hermione's confusion must have shown on her face.

'The fact that you have been awake for most of today means you are getting stronger,' he explained shortly. 'If you can prove to me tomorrow morning that you are able to go the distance from your bed to the bathroom unaided, I will begin our attempts to find your grandparents' house. I may be overestimating you again, but do you at least have a vague idea what their address was?'

She did have a vague idea, but that was hardly helpful when what she needed was a specific place.

'The street was called something "view". Forestview? No, something to do with water. Riverview? No. Harbourview. Something to do with water. I can't remember the name, but I can describe it for you. I have a clear picture of what it looked like when I last went to visit.'

In the end, her attempts at verbal description were so feeble, she offered him permission to view the house as she had last seen it.

'We don't have a Pensieve.' His expression was closed and cold again.

'I had thought...' She faltered. Harry had never told her the specifics of his Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape, but from what he had described, it had sounded like he could get into someone else's mind at will. 'I thought there might be another way. Perhaps Legilimency?'

'I am not a Legilimens.'

So, he was going to be difficult. 'Well is there a spell, then? One that will allow you to have a quick look at my memory of the house?'

'Perhaps. The extent of your trust astounds me, Miss Granger, and that is not a compliment. Allowing another access to your mind is the most intimate of gestures...' He cut off abruptly and glared at her.

She shifted in her bed. 'Well, you've seen into Harry's mind. You didn't become his best friend,' she replied tartly.

'That was in the context of attempting to teach Mr Potter to close his mind. I did not enjoy it, I assure you,' he retorted.

The sarcasm was back, but Hermione sensed that he would give in soon.

'Look, I do trust you, and you only need to see one thing. If there's an accident and you see something I don't want you to see, I'll take responsibility. You're never going to find the house if you don't have a reasonable idea what it looks like.'

'Do not just assume that you can "take responsibility",' he countered, but since his wand was already in his hand, Hermione considered the battle won. 'I see that you will only learn through practical demonstration, foolish girl. Focus on the house. I will enter your mind on three. One, two, three, Legilimens!'

His entry into her mind was brief, but more than enough for Hermione to gather that she didn't much like the sensation at all.

'I felt you fighting me,' he said quietly after she had regained her equilibrium.

She glared at him. 'You still saw the house, didn't you?'

He ignored her comment. 'I am going to shower. Oh, and, Miss Granger?'

'What?' she snapped.

He smiled. It was nothing more than a slight upward tilt of his lips, but Hermione found it unnerving to see his face so softened. 'I was only going to say that when you are allowed to practice magic once more, should you ever wish to master Occlumency, I believe that you would have more success than most.'

Hermione frowned. 'So, I'll be better than Harry, but I'll never be as good as you.'

'Correct.' He smirked, and then his face took on a more serious cast. 'Let us both hope that you never need to be.'

After that conversation, and since Hermione did prove that she could walk to the bathroom the next morning, the professor spent the majority of his time out looking for the house. Although he came back to the hotel several times a day, and seemed to stay as long as he could bear it, Hermione sensed that, on these days when he spent most of his time out, he seemed much lighter of heart when he kept her company in the evenings.

Even when he was obviously a bit tired and snappish from all the Apparating he had done during the day, he still actually seemed in the mood to talk to her and tell her about the various houses he had seen and what he planned to look for the next day. It also became somewhat of a habit for them to do the crossword together after Hermione had proved her worth on several counts by knowing (courtesy of the books he had brought her) various key developments and figures in Australian wizarding history. True to form, he always grumbled about how filling the crossword with local knowledge was unfair as he carefully noted the answer. Hermione wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but as the days passed, it seemed less and less like he meant it.

Severus greatly enjoyed his various jaunts around Sydney. Armed with nothing but a street directory and a slightly outdated wizarding map of various Apparation points around the city and suburbs, he found himself visiting a number of rather nice waterfront properties. It was not particularly surprising that street names having something to do with a 'view' over water – Waterview, Harbourview, Riverview – were often located near Sydney Harbour or one of either the Lane Cove or Parramatta Rivers. As a sort of extra bonus, most of these quiet suburban streets were lined with trees, providing some respite from the unrelenting summer heat.

In fact, his enjoyment would have been complete if it wasn't so stinking hot every day. Despite the city's proximity to water, it was mostly a dry, baking heat; the sun beat down on the land without even the most insubstantial cover of clouds. He could feel his skin burning whenever he was directly in the sunlight, and he had quickly become adept at performing a number of Sun-protection Charms at regular intervals to avoid coming home looking like a lobster. It was partly for this reason that he took to spending the middle of the day in the hotel with Hermione – his ostensible excuse being that he needed to feed her – but if he sometimes stayed well into the afternoon, she never mentioned it.

There were so many things to appreciate about the simplicity of life as an anonymous tourist in Australia. At first, he had avoided asking for even the most simple of directions, still wary that someone would recognise his face or description. However, after no one looked at him twice during more than a few excursions to get supplies and food in the tunnels of wizarding Sydney, Severus finally began to relax. Confident that not even wizards had any idea who he was, Severus had no qualms about approaching various Muggles to ask for directions to some of the streets he was looking for. He found people friendly and open, and he found his own manners adapting to fit his changed circumstances. It was no longer necessary to scowl at absolutely everyone.

It was this new openness that led him to conversation with Greg, the innkeeper at the Golden Niffler on the eve of the new year.

'Is your niece well enough to get out and enjoy the celebrations tonight?'

Severus had told anyone who asked that Hermione was his niece. His sister's child. He wasn't sure why he cared, but he did not want to give people any chance to speculate about the nature of their relationship.

Now, Severus frowned. 'What sort of celebrations?' he asked slowly. He actually hadn't considered whether Hermione might want to celebrate the new year. The only, but quite major, drawback of mixing with Australian locals – wizard and Muggle alike – was the constant innocent reminders of how unused he was to peacetime.

Greg shrugged. 'The Muggles have a huge bash on the harbour every year. Fireworks and lights. They're not as good as magical ones, but the scale the Muggles do it on is still pretty impressive. While the Muggle police turn a blind eye to much of the underage drinking that goes on in the parks, the Ministry lets us get away with Apparating onto the roofs of buildings with a view so long as we're fairly quiet and subtle about it.' He grunted. 'Of course, most of the young people prefer to be down in the crowds, anyway.'

'You can just Apparate to any building?' Severus was thoughtful. There couldn't be that many witches and wizards within Apparating distance of Sydney. The number couldn't even be close to the number of buildings – commercial and residential – with views of the bridge.

Greg's eyes twinkled. 'Well, you have to avoid Muggle house parties, office functions and other witches and wizards. But what's life without a little bit of risk? Just pick a building, cross your fingers and turn on the spot. Worst that can happen is you have to Obliviate anyone who looks alert enough to actually remember what happened in the morning.'

Put that way, it didn't even sound like a risk.

Hermione's face lit up when Severus told her gruffly after dinner one night that if she could stay awake, they would be going out to see the fireworks. She hadn't even realised that the new year was upon them. The next thing she did was start giving advice.

'We're going to have to leave now if we want to be able to see them. The last time I was here, my parents took me, and we had a picnic for half the day so that we could reserve a spot. Have you thought about where to Apparate us?'

Severus had spent all afternoon thinking about where to Apparate, and needless to say, his plan did not involve being swarmed by hordes of Muggles. Also, as viable as Greg's cavalier attitude was for able-bodied adult wizards and witches looking for a bit of excitement, he had significant reservations about doing anything which might bring him to the attention of the Australian authorities. It was easy to forget in Sydney, which was really not all that different to home, that such things as the strange magic of the Aboriginal Australians existed. Severus was quite keen to keep it that way.

'If you have no objection,' he said a bit stiffly, 'we will sit and watch the fireworks from a rooftop that I have prepared for our arrival.'

If anything, her smile grew wider. 'That sounds lovely. I'm don't think I'm really well enough to handle a big crowd. Thank you for organising all this.'

He frowned. He didn't want thanks. Thanks presupposed that he had done it for her.

'I also think it wise to Disillusion us both.'

'This isn't illegal, is it?' she asked as he tapped her head. There was a note of disapproval in her voice.

Severus didn't smile until he, too, was invisible. 'We won't be caught.'

He had chosen a flat-roofed building at the top of a hill to the north of the bridge. The view was a bit more side-on to the bridge than he might have liked, but the building itself was perfect. From what he could tell, it was part of a school complex. At present, however, the gates were closed and barred; presumably, the students were still on holidays.

He regretted Disillusioning Hermione as soon as he had let her go. With his luck, she'd somehow manage to topple off before he even noticed that she had strayed too close to the edge.

'Oh, Professor! It's perfect!'

Ah. She had made her way over to the picnic rug he had strategically positioned so as to make the most of the view. He promptly joined her, casting another few Cushioning Charms on the ground before he sat.

'I believe the first set of fireworks is about to start.'

As if on cue, the first fireworks leapt high into the night sky over the bridge, sparkling orbs of red, gold, green and blue. Pretty as they were, Severus could not entirely forget Hermione's presence close by his side. Although he could not see her, she was close enough that he could feel the warmth emanating from her body. She was quivering with excitement.

It was not uncomfortable, he decided, to be in her presence. He wouldn't have invited her any closer, but he also didn't take pains to keep her literally at arm's length. Loath as he was to admit it, it was also... nice... not to be completely alone on such a beautiful night, where everything from the warmth in the air to the very Muggle cityscape across the water reminded him of just how far he was from home.

A new year...

Lost in thought, he started violently when something exploded a lot closer to them.

'Look!'

He wasn't sure how she did it while they both remained invisible, but she grabbed his arm and turned his attention upwards.

'It's almost above us!'

Indeed, there were fireworks shooting off a building only a couple of hundred feet away, exploding in the air above their heads. In the distance, Severus could see that this was occurring all around the harbour. Not just the bridge, but the entire city was glowing with the light of fireworks.

During the long moments of that evening, from the stillness and quiet after the nine o'clock firework display until the bridge literally exploded with colour and fire at the stroke of midnight, Severus felt as if he was caught in a dream. When he talked with Hermione, everything he saw and felt seemed to be part of some other person's life. A person without fears and guilt, one who was able to relax and be totally carefree.

The whole night was so surreal it did not even occur to Severus to feel uncomfortable when, on their way back through the Lowest Basement to the Golden Niffler, he realised that Hermione's hand was entwined with his.

AN: Thank you to everyone who has read and commented so far. I'm really enjoying sharing little bits of home with all of you. More thanks and hugs to my beta, JunoMagic. Without her, this story would be much worse.