Perfect
Chapter 1 of 1
darklotusShe'd finally found her place.
ReviewedAuthor's Note:
This started out as a prompt for an original story when this little number popped into my head. This is the first bit of fan fiction I've ever written, but something tells me it won't be my last.
A big thank you to my beta, laurielove – thanks for all the help and encouragement.
Hope you like it – reviews would be greatly appreciated – first timer and all that.
Disclaimer: The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story. I just play with them... and sometimes I'm not very nice.
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Perfect
She sat upon the sheetless bed, recalling years of sleepless nights spent poring over texts, making revision notes – studying – determined to prove her place in the Wizarding world via her intellect.
Everyone certainly knew her place now, and her intellect played no part in it. All that studying, all that striving for acceptance, all that hope and effort... it had all been for nothing in the end.
With Voldemort victorious, and the Wizarding world firmly in his grip, her place had been decided for her.
She was the interloper who was to be made a constant example of.
No easy or even hard death, for that matter, as she had been expecting. Her death was to be of her very essence, in slow increments, while her body lived on – for a long, long time to come.
The enchanted collar and bracelets she wore glowed with a faint shimmer playing over the symbols and glyphs etched in the silver – they were quite beautiful, really, but manacles and symbols of her status nonetheless.
They were the only thing in her world now that was remotely visually interesting – and she hated them. They dampened her magic – and her ability to see colour.
The witches and wizards filing past her cage, on the mandatory, regular viewing of the prisoners kept as examples, a caution to any who may oppose the new regime, were no more than a background hum of shuffling noises, due to the muffling charms in her prison, and she’d ceased to really see them other than as vague, shifting forms that almost imperceptibly dappled the light in her cell, as they passed by the open wall warded to prevent intrusion or escape.
If she made eye contact, it was inadvertent and quickly severed.
There was no physical cruelty – she was fed, kept clean and warm, allowed sleep, and as healthy as one could be, given her hour of exercise that she was allowed per day in the small, high-walled, muffled courtyard, accompanied by a silent guard, who never spoke or made physical contact.
The cruelty came with the mind-numbing boredom, the repetitive sameness of each day, the lack of mental or physical stimulation – no conversation, no company, no books, no colour… and no hope.
She’d lost that once she realised that this was to be the rest of her long life – the whittling away and eventual death of her spirit; no hope of escape, no hope of freedom, no hope of an early death; a long, long life of monochrome monotony.
Voldemort’s talent for cruelty was boundless – he’d chosen the perfect fate for Hermione Granger.
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Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it – let me know what you think.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Perfect
10 Reviews | 7.7/10 Average
I think you've done a great job with this oneshot. Using emotional torture instead of the more common physical torture really intesified the story for me. I wonder who else is in this "human zoo"?
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thank you so very much, and for taking the time to review! It's much appreciated.I'm glad it worked for you. As to the 'human zoo', I have an idea or two...
Very good.. I hope you write more in this world. Can she be saved?
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thanks so much, I'm glad it worked for you. I've written one other in this world so far. It should be up soon. I have a feeling there'll be more, though.DL xx
I think you depicted Hermione's life if indeed Voldemort won. Very interesting and well written.
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thank you! I'm glad it worked for you, and it's lovely of you to take the time to review. It's much appreciated.DL xxx
Being, myself, one of those rare women who is completely color blind, I understand how dreadful that must be for her but would consider that something that could be overcome But to be without books, without conversation, without the stimulus for the mind - that is truly vicious. I would go mad - and could almost wish that for her - since in that at least there might be some oblivion of her suffering. But, where lurks the brave Slytherin to free her?
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
I have a friend who's completely colour blind - a male, though - so I know how well he copes, and it's all he's ever known. The isolation and lack of any stimulus is the worst part, and the lack of colour was just another that was taken away. I think that Voldemort would have a knack for picking just the thing for those he considered worth it. As to the brave Slytherin, who knows what lies ahead?Thanks so much for the review - I appreciate the encouragement!DL xxx
So much despair in such a short tale. I think you've done a great job with this. Take that as a big compliment because I really hate dark stories unless there is a happy ending. *shudders* I hope to see more from you!
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thanks so much! It's a great compliment that you liked it even though it's not to your usual taste. It was a very sad one to write, but I'm glad I managed to get it across. I'm hoping to do more, too.DL xxx
Not bad for your first fic. I like the different take you have on a victorious Voldemort world. Good job.
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thanks very much! It's rather scary posting your first, and it's lovely you took the time to review. I'm glad you liked my take on the world. I enjoyed writing it.DL xxx
How horrible. That is definitely a form of torture without being physically hurt. Great job with the descriptions and setting the scene. You can really sense Hermione's despair.
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thanks so much. It's a lovely compliment that you felt the despair. It is horrible. I really appreciate you taking the time to review. I'm glad it worked for you.DL xxx
Perfect indeed. Poor Hermione.
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad it worked for you. It is a sad one, though.DL xx
So good to see this here. You have created such a deliciously dark atmosphere which seeps into us. I feel, along with the inhabitants of this dystopia, voyeuristic. I look forward to what else you have for us in this genre. x
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
Thank you so much, laurie my dear! It's lovely to be here - I'm hoping to come up with a few more, at least. If it wasn't for your encouragement and support, I wouldn't be posting at all. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - you're a star.DL xxxx
Ouch! Although very well written, this is painfully sad.
Response from darklotus (Author of Perfect)
It is a sad one - This may sound terrible, but I'm glad you felt that way, as that's how I felt when the idea struck me. It would be the cruelest punishment for Hermione, wouldn't it? Thanks for taking the time to review, it's greatly appreciated.DL xxx