1

The first Christmas after the defeat of Voldemort found the Weasley family unhappily considering the behaviour of their youngest son. Molly, Arthur, Ginny and Percy had appealed to both Hermione and Harry to plan a way of weaning Ronald off the ‘I am a celebrity’ bandwagon.

Harry had done his best, talking to Ron, with little success. Short of washing his hands of the person who USED to be his best friend, Harry had no ideas.

Hermione, on the other hand, had been spending time in the Muggle world helping her parents readjust to England. Her suggestions to the Weasleys had been met with scepticism.

“He simply needs deprogramming. It is similar to what kids who get into a cult have to go through. You isolate them and cut off all contact with the source of the problem. It will work, please, just try it.”

George had come into the room at that point saying, “All of you had best get out here. Ron is being interviewed by Skeeter on the wireless, and he just announced that the two of you are getting married, Hermione.”

“WHAT? That is most assuredly not happening. Oh, dear, there is going to be big time trouble if Viktor hears that. Why, oh, why did she have to crawl up his rear and decide he was her unimpeachable source on the war?” Hermione groaned as she saw the all-too-recognisable Patronus of her actual fiancé appear in the room.

The Roc swooped towards her, and Viktor’s voice issued from its beak, “I take it that you heard that drivel Weasley was speaking? I am going to challenge him to a duel. You do remember that Bulgarian ways of duelling are different than English ones.”

Hermione and Bill Weasley exclaimed at the same time, “Oh, bloody effing hell."

Hermione quickly Disapparated off to find Viktor before he could damage Ron Weasley too much. Bill and Harry went off to the Wireless studio in search of Ron.

They all arrived just in time to watch Viktor and Ron assume the duelling stance. Ron raised his wand to send a spell, and the wand flew out of his hand. Viktor then sent a spell that changed Ron’s clothing to that of a female. Ron tried to retrieve his wand, but it was useless. Viktor was slowly and inexorably humiliating Ron, one non-verbal spell at a time.

At last, Ron begged Viktor to stop, “Please, I know it was wrong. Hermione isn’t really going to marry me. It was all Rita Skeeter’s fault. She put me up to it. I promise I won’t ever do it again. I’ve learned my lesson. Please, Viktor, make me back into a male again.”

Hermione was trying her best not to laugh. Harry and Bill were shaking their heads.

Viktor spoke several phrases in Bulgarian, and Ron was himself again. He begged Harry and Bill to take him back to the Burrow.

Viktor was chuckling as he took Hermione’s hands in his. “Let’s go home, love. I don’t think we’ll have to worry about Weasley for a very long time.”

She answered him, pertly, “Isn’t it about time we told all of them we got married in Australia when we went to get my parents?”

*-*-*

LaMuseAmusant gave me two prompts to use:

It turns out there's a crucial difference between British and Bulgarian wizard duelling.

A member of the Golden Trio has become way too caught up in personal fame and glory. When a line is crossed, concerned friends and family decide that a Muggle-style intervention is in order.