New Chapter for The Artillery of Words
The Artillery of Words
Keppiehed7 Reviews | 5.71/10 (7 Ratings, 0 Likes, 0 Favorites )
Sometimes language itself is the savior.
Start ReadingChapters (1)
About Keppiehed
Author
Keppiehed
Member Since 2009 | 74 Stories | Favorited by 55 | 47 Reviews Written | 685 Review Responses
Reviews for The Artillery of Words
You carefully constructed the mood here, and it is chilling. Your use of language made the story for me. The narrator's voice is precocious, sure, but the reason for it is devastating. One line that didn't quite fit, in my mind at least, was:"The smell of alcohol on his breath makes me cringe."It seemed more like the author was speaking, and less like the main character's voice.Anyway, I definitely agree with you that this piece is strong.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
Ah! I think you're right on that one. I wasn't sure if to call out the kind of alcohol would make that feeling worse. Like, if I said "the smell of beer on his breath ..." I thought that might be more jarring and ruin the effect of a kid speaking. Maybe I should have gone for it, as a kid wouldn't say alcohol. It was a point I had debated, and I suppose I ought to have changed it, but you never know until you get feedback!Anyway, thanks so much for your review! It was actually easy to write, even for such a gruesome subject, and I wrote it in about 10 minutes or so. Whoa! I wish for that kind of inspiration these days!
Response from mreid (Reviewer)
That makes sense.I wish for ten minutes, too.
WOW! How you manage to treat such a delicate subject without even a comma of violence is beyond me. I'm trully amazed.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! What a great thing to say; I am really thrilled that you were not offended, and that you were able to enjoy reading it, even if it was a tough subject. Thanks so much! (and LOVE the icon, btw!) :)
I have to admit, when I saw the warnings my heart sank a little. It's a subject much covered, and not always well written. But, knowing the caliber of your writing, I am willing to give anything a go. I had to read it a couple of times, go away and come back to read it again.I am truly in awe. Your mastery of language is outstanding and your ability to portray such a sensitive subject, without overt violence or sensationalising it, is amazing.Thanks for another brilliant gem.
Response from quaffswinegaily (Reviewer)
I forgot to say - though I love your Draco, I actually prefer your original works. Cheers, qwg.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
I have to say that I am absolutely humbled by your review. It means so much to hear you say that I could portray anything realistically, which is what I strive for. I am always worried about tipping into melodrama. And although fanfiction is great fun, my original works are where my heart lies, so to know that you prefer them is just the greatest compliment you could bestow. Thank you so much for that!
Response from quaffswinegaily (Reviewer)
You're welcome. I wouldn't write it if it weren't deserved.I'm no good at the con-crit, much better at the smart-alec reviews, so you'd better get away & write us some light fluffies. You know you want to!
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
Oh, man. The challengefest is coming up. Get ready for some Hagrid/Buckbeak and some Dumbledore/Filch. That should give your inner smartypants plenty of ammo. *winces in advance*
Response from quaffswinegaily (Reviewer)
That's it - I'm leaving the country!
Beautifully done. The helplessness of her situation is tragic, and yet she is not alone. She has her words to shelter her. :)
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
Thank you! I am sorry this one got misfiled into the wrong category, but I'm glad you chanced a read anyway. Thanks for giving it a try, and for your very kind review.
Wow, my friend, that is truly stunning. I still can't comprehend how you get so perfectly inside the head of someone you've never been.When I was very young, I used to think that little pixies painted the grass while I slept. I wish I didn't have to grow up and know better.Noone at seven should be able to refer to themselves as "very young" in the past tense. Unfortunately, these things mature you while at the same time damaging you.While the content is horrible, the writing is beautiful. Congrats on your win!As you probably know, given this prompt, my story would have been about blue skies and fairies, LOL. I have to firmly anchor myself on the light side so that I can always pull you back from the dark :)
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
I actually felt so guilty about this, because I really have no idea about the nature of this subject matter, so it was all just a guess. And I didn't want to be presumptuous, and have people think I was making light of such an awful experience. In the end, I just hoped to represent what I thought would be the way that I would react, to showcase the horror alongside the innocence so that it would juxtapose that much more strongly. The narrator may not know exactly what she is losing--has lost--but we do. And I don't have to have gone through it to know it exists, and to feel bad about it.And I am lucky to have you to pull me back from the dark. I am always afraid that the next trip will be the one that gets me. *grabs on to you*
wooowwww. powerful.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
I do hope that is a good thing? I thank you for reading it, even though it is misfiled under fanfic instead of under o-fic, where it belongs!
Response from mock_turtle (Reviewer)
a very good thing! I mean, I can't exactly say I like the situation, nor that I relate to it, but it evokes a lot of emotion in the reading.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
I cannot relate to it myself, having never been in it. I hope I didn't misrepresent myself with that. I got the prompt, and that is where my crazy mind ran with it, but I actually have no personal experience with that subject at all. But Thanks so much for reading, and for your great review.
Response from mock_turtle (Reviewer)
No, you didn't represent yourself! I just always kind of hesitate to say that I like stories about rape...feels kind of awkward to me. I love the way you interpreted the prompt and talked about words--the words you chose do have a particularly beautiful ring to them. Have you read the story "I'll give you my word" by Diana Wynne Jones? It's in the Firebirds Rising collection, and it's quite funny.
Response from Keppiehed (Author of The Artillery of Words)
No, I haven't read that, I will have to give it a try! I really liked her Howl's Moving Castle, so I'm sure I will like that, as well. Thanks for the rec, and again, for being so supportive!
Anonymous
This is a serious and evocative piece that stuck with me a long time, Keppie. I really think that this is one of your best pieces.
Author's Response: Aw, Edge! *hugs you* I can't thank you enough for your support. You have always been very kind to me, especially about my writing. I really couldn't do it without my friends beside me, cheering me on, and you know I count you first among them. Thanks for always taking the time to help me be better in everything I do.