Chapter Two

Chapter 2

The next morning, Hermione was waiting in the kitchen for Harry. She hoped that he wouldn't sleep in too long. Thankfully, she only had to wait about half an hour for him to join her.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look like you didn't get much sleep last night?"

"I didn't and no, I'm not okay. Can I trust you not to tell Ron any of what I'm about to tell you?" she asked in a near whisper.

Harry looked over his shoulder as though expecting Ron to arrive. "Sure. What is it?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had been planning this conversation for hours. "I've just started to wonder lately whether Ron and I are right for each other."

Harry raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, letting her continue.

"Everything seemed okay after he came back and in the immediate aftermath of the war, but as time has passed, I've been reminded of so many things about him that annoy me. And the whole quitting the Auror program hasn't had anything to do with this. Well, it has, but it wasn't what started it. I've been having some doubts since we got engaged." She stopped for a moment and took a sip of her tea.

"What sort of doubts?" Harry prodded gently.

"Well, I realize there are a lot of things we never discussed – probably because what should have been our final year at Hogwarts was so different. For example, Ron knew I took academics seriously, and it shouldn't have been a surprise to him that I want to have a career, but it really seems like it was. He thought that I would settle at home and be a good little housewife." She tried to keep her calm as her anger threatened to boil to the surface.

Harry reached across the table and put his hand on hers. "That's what he's known. His mum devoted her life to her children. I don't think it's that unusual that he would think his wife was going to do the same."

She sighed again. "I know that. And perhaps I should have paid more attention to that. Harry, you know that's not me. I mean, I'm sure I won't be a horrible mother or anything, but there are things I would like to do before that day comes. What do you expect Ginny to do after you two get married?"

He reached across the table and poured himself some tea. "We haven't really talked about it yet, but I was going to leave it up to her."

"See, you are leaving it up to her. Ron seemed to have already decided." She stopped, trying to decide how to work her dreams into the conversation.

Picking up that she had more to say, he gently prodded, "Is there something other than Ron?"

She looked up the stairs, just to make sure the noise she heard was a normal house noise even though she really didn't expect Ron to come by after the row they had had last night. "I've been dreaming of someone else," she said simply.

"Who?" Harry asked carefully.

She leaned back in her chair. "That's just it, I don't know who! I can almost recognize the voice, but I've gone through everyone I can think of having met and I just can't place it. However, I do know I've heard that voice. It's a rich baritone – and it's so familiar," she said the frustration clear in her voice.

"I take it you've had this dream more than once and that's why you were looking at all those books earlier."

She nodded. "It is. It was a very real dream. It seemed like he was in the room with me because I swear I could feel him. I could sort of make out a shape, he's tall and slender, but that's all that I've been able to see. I can't make out any details. And I tried to get him to tell me who he was, but he told me to look in my heart. Harry, I'm at an utter loss, but I feel that until I solve this mystery that I can't be fair to Ron. And I really need to solve it for my own well-being. Everything about the dreams tell me that this is the person I'm meant to be with, not Ron."

Harry took a long draught from his tea before speaking. "That's pretty intense. It could be Dark Magic."

"That's what I thought at first, and after the second dream I spent a great deal of time at Hogwarts looking for any reference to dream visitation, and I couldn't find anything. I even gave Madam Pince a quick description of what had happened, and she couldn't recall having read anything about it. She knows those books better than anyone, so it really made me wonder if it was magic."

"But then what could it be? It's not like anyone can just barge into the house," Harry replied.

"I know that; that's what makes this all so puzzling," she said not hiding her frustration.

"So what are you going to do?" Harry asked after a prolonged pause.

She sighed. "I don't know. I really feel that I need to figure this out. I'm thinking of taking a sabbatical and heading somewhere I can concentrate on figuring this out alone."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if this mystery person wants you alone to do you harm?" Harry asked, clearly concerned.

Reaching across the table, she placed her hand on his. "After all the time we spent on the run, I think that I can ward someplace so that I can't be found, don't you?"

Harry flushed in embarrassment and ruffled his hair. "Yeah. I guess you're right. You will be careful won't you?" He still sounded as though he didn't entirely approve of her plan.

"I will. I'll write a letter to Ron and ask you to give it to him when he's calmed down a little."

"Are you going to break the engagement?" Harry asked pointedly.

"I don't know. I want to see what I can discover first."

"Hermione," Harry said carefully, "from everything you've said, it doesn't sound like you will be happy with Ron. Don't you think it would be fair to him to just let him go?"

"Harry, I'm not going to do it by letter. I think I owe it to him to let him know in person. I don't know when I'll be back, but I really need to sort this out." She stood up to leave.

Harry rose and gave her a reassuring hug. "You'll always have a place here. You're the sister I never had."

She brushed a tear from her cheek. "Thanks, Harry. That means a lot to me. I'll send you an owl while I'm gone." Pulling away from his embrace, she headed upstairs to pack. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going to go, but she wanted someplace quiet and alone.

It had taken Hermione two days, but she had finally found a remote cottage in Northern Scotland to rent. It was near enough to a village that she could get the supplies she needed, but far enough away that she shouldn't be bothered. She hoped that this would be the perfect place to search her heart.

Since it was early in the day, she decided to make a list of all the men that she knew. Counting all her classmates from her days at Hogwarts the list was quite extensive. For a moment she thought that maybe her mystery lover was Viktor, but she realized her dream lover's English was unaccented and the last she had seen Viktor, his English was still heavily accented. That led her to immediately cross him off the list, as she did for Ron and Harry. She then crossed off everyone who was deceased. Her next category was those who were married. She refused to get involved with a married man. And she presumed that her mystery lover was not still at Hogwarts. Finally she crossed off those who were too short, too fat or otherwise was not remotely close to fitting the general physical size of her mystery lover.

What was left was an incredibly short list. There were only a handful of names, and most of those names were people she didn't know very well – more passing acquaintances than friends.

Deciding the list was useless she crumpled it up and threw it in the fireplace. She would use it to start the fire later in the evening when the temperature cooled off. While she could use magic to start a fire, there was something comforting about doing it the Muggle way using kindling and matches.

With nothing else to do until she cooked dinner, she decided to take a walk through the countryside and let her mind wander.

As her mind wandered to the men she knew, she realized that last night her mystery man had not come to her. She wasn't sure what to make of that. Was it because she was in an unfamiliar location or did it have something to do with the fact that she had pretty much decided that she wasn't going to settle for Ron?

Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that the sun set much later than she was used to this far north, meaning it was later than she supposed from the height of sun. Upon returning to the cottage, she made a simple meal of spaghetti and poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle of Chianti. It wasn't fancy, but it was satisfying.

After that she lit the fire and curled up in the chair to read until she was tired. When she had trouble keeping her eyes open, she crawled into bed.

Drifting off to sleep she waited for her visitor.

Hermione felt sunlight on her cheek and realized it was morning. Again her mystery visitor had not come. She frowned in disappointment.

After dressing and eating breakfast, she dove into the books she had brought with her. Most of them were very old and written in a language other than modern English, but she didn't mind. It gave her something to do with her day. In the evening, she decided to go for a walk and enjoy the scenery before going to bed.

She repeated this pattern for more than a week. The books yielded no answers, and her visitor did not return in her dreams. She started to wonder how much longer she should remain. Remembering her promise to send Harry an owl, she Apparated to the nearest wizarding enclave and let him know that she was fine and would probably be away for another week. She hoped that he was well and hoped that Ron had come to a rationale decision. She didn't specifically tell him to reply to her letter, nor did she tell him not to.

Returning to her cottage, she thought about Ron. She knew that he had always been in the shadow of his brothers and their achievements. A part of her had always thought that he underachieved to try to reduce comparison to his brothers. Of course, Fred and George had not really excelled at school and had in fact left before taking their NEWTs. The amount of trouble those two got into had actually made Ron look better.

It was that potential that she had seen that had drawn her to him. She thought that with the right encouragement he could live up to his potential, but it seemed that she wasn't able to give him that encouragement.

Hermione was getting ready for bed when she heard the familiar tap of an owl at her window. Opening the window she retrieved the letter from the owl. It looked at her expectantly. She searched the kitchen and didn't find anything. "I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you." It hadn't occurred to her to pick up owl treats. Indignantly the owl turned its back on her and flew into the night.

She sighed and opened the letter. Inside she found Ron's messy scrawl. She sighed again before reading.

Dear Hermione,

Ron

Hermione stared in shock at the letter. Ron actually showed some maturity. After several rereads, she still wasn't sure what to make of it. Yes, Ron was showing maturity, but she wondered how long it would last. It was times like this that he really made her life difficult. If he could be like this all the time, everything would be okay, but she wasn't sure that it would last. His other flashes of maturity hadn't lasted either.

After not reaching a decision, she decided to go to bed and sleep on it.

Hermione slept fitfully as decisions weighed on her mind. She kept waking up and checking the clock. Time seemed to be moving far too slowly, and it seemed like morning would never come. Looking at the clock this time, she saw that it was almost five o'clock, but she felt that was too early to get up. After punching her pillow back into shape, she tried to go back to sleep.

The familiar weight crawled into bed with her and started caressing her body. "Have you searched your heart?"

She wanted to snap, 'where have you been?' but thought better about it. "I have, but I haven't yet found the answer you told me to look for."

"A pity," he replied sadly, his fingers continuously moving along her body.

The name belonging to the voice was on the tip of her tongue, but it still eluded her. "But I believe that my future is about to change... for the better." When he didn't respond with anything other than his touch, she continued. "I tried to find you, but I failed."

"I am here," he replied simply.

"But are you really here?" She tried to make any part of him out in the shadows, but she couldn't, it was as though a darker shadow was cast over him.

He trailed kisses down her shoulder. "Do you want me to be here?" he asked seductively.

"Yes!" she replied enthusiastically.

"Then I am here," he replied simply in between kisses.

"But you leave when I open my eyes," she protested, trying to keep her wits about her as he used his touch to arouse her.

"You can find me. Search your heart. I am closer than you think." With those words, he once again vanished into the shadows.

Hermione sat up abruptly in bed. He had finally come to her, but his answers had been no more illuminating that before. But she knew one thing: she had to find him before she returned to her life in London. She had to have the answers before she decided what to do with Ron.

The first light of day was breaking in the east, and she decided to get dressed, eat and go for a walk to try to clear her mind.

Hermione walked for hours, further and further away from the cottage, taking whichever lane suited her fancy. When she was through walking she could just Apparate back to the cottage.

Just as she was getting ready to return to her cottage, she saw something through the trees, at least she thought she saw something. She could see it out of the corner of her eye, wavering in the shadows, but when she looked straight at it, it wasn't there. This alone compelled her to examine it more closely because it had all the signs of being enchanted.

Cautiously, with her wand drawn, she approached the area where she was reasonably sure that whatever was being hidden was. She thought it looked vaguely like a building, but when you could only see something with your peripheral vision it was hard to tell. She expected to find some sort of ruins that were under an enchantment that was finally fading.

Suddenly a cottage appeared an arm's length in front of her, and she stopped abruptly. It was clearly occupied because there was smoke coming from the chimney, and she could smell someone cooking breakfast. She wasn't sure what to do at this point. Whoever lived here clearly wanted to be left alone, but at the same time the resident had to know that she was here.

Her sense of curiosity got the better of her, and she knocked on the door. After all, no one knew that she was here so this could hardly be a trap. She had randomly chosen her destination and could have just as easily ended up in Wales as Scotland.

"Come in," replied a muffled voice.

This concerned her a little. She would have rather had whoever was living here open the door. Entering a strange house could be fraught with peril. Still holding her wand at the ready, she opened the door and peered into the darkness. The main room seemed empty and it was dark. The curtains were drawn and the trees blocked out a great deal of the sunlight. She could see light and hear movement coming from the kitchen.

After waiting a few moments for anything, she decided to go and see who was in the kitchen. Cautiously she moved across the main room and peered into the kitchen, wand at the ready and prepared to cast a non-verbal shield spell.

When she saw who was standing at the stove, her wand clattered to the floor. "But... You can't be... I saw you..." And it all came crashing to reality. The dream visits flashed through her mind. His height and build were right. His voice was right. But how could it be? How could he be her mystery man when he was supposed to be dead?

"I assure you that I am not." With a flick of his wand, he summoned hers and handed it back to her. "I am very much alive, though my survival was in question for some time." He took one step closer to her so that he was very much in her personal space and smiled warmly at her. "I see that you searched your heart."

Question after question raced through her mind. "But how...?" She found it was difficult to put it all into words.

"I know that you have many questions, but later. What does your heart tell you?"

Hermione had long respected Snape's mind and recognized that despite his gruff manner, he was one of the best professors she had ever had at Hogwarts. Her last couple of years at Hogwarts, she had come to have a crush on him. The way he worked was so elegant, there was no wasted motion. She realized that there was so much more to him that the Slytherin favoring, Gryffindor hating face he showed to the students, and she had wanted to learn more about him. When Harry had told her that Snape had killed Dumbledore, she couldn't believe it – not because Dumbledore was dead, but that it had been Severus who had done it.

"How long have you known?" she finally asked.

He laughed softly, but not in a cruel way. "Longer than you would think, but while you were my student, there was nothing to be done about it. A witch of your potential is very rare." He tenderly brushed her cheek.

"Just as a wizard of your potential is rare," she said softly as she looked up into his dark eyes, drowning in the depths.

"Indeed. I have waited a long time for someone like you." He moved slightly closer to her so that he's body was almost pressed against hers. Leaning down, he gave her a soft kiss that turned more passionate when she did not resist.

With that kiss, she knew that she had finally searched her heart. "My heart tells me this is where I should be," she replied breathlessly when they broke the kiss.

"As I knew it would."

"Legilimency?" she asked curiously.

He admitted playfully, "A little. Now, why don't I answer some of your questions?"

Hermione and Severus spent the rest of the day talking, answering each other's questions, getting to know one another. The more time they spent together, the more she knew that she belonged with him. Every dream, every hidden desire she had had over the years was validated. She had always known there was more to Severus than what they saw in class, and he was proving it today.

She would have to return to London to break it off with Ron, but then what?

"What do we do now? Everyone thinks that you are dead, but you aren't. How do we make a future together if you don't exist?"

Clearly he had thought this through. "You can go to the Minister and explain that I have been recuperating in seclusion and am only now well enough to make myself public, but that I would prefer it to be done quietly. After that, we can go into business together."

"What sort of business?" she asked curiously, not entirely comfortable with the idea that he had seemingly planned out their future.

"Come now, Hermione," he said playfully. "You know me."

He couldn't possibly mean something dealing with the Dark Arts, but then that left... "Surely you can't mean Potions?" she asked incredulously.

"Why not?"

"I thought you didn't like Potions? Isn't that why you wanted to teach Defense?"

He chuckled. "I wanted to teach Defense because I knew it would be vital, that no one else understood the Dark Arts as I did and the imperative of knowing how to defend yourself. I have a passion for Potions, as you no doubt noticed from the Potions textbook Potter had that final year you were at Hogwarts. What I detested was teaching dunderheads. I would have liked nothing more than to have spent my adult life researching Potions, something I could spend precious little time on while teaching, but I owed a debt to Albus – one that I could not ignore. Now I am free of that debt," he said sadly.

She considered his proposal. "I think that might be a good idea. I've been wrestling with what to do and was thinking of becoming a Healer because of all the research I could do, but I could easily do that learning Potions from you."

"Then we are agreed?" he asked cautiously.

She grinned at him. "I think so, but one thing... I know the dreams, and what I said, and well..." She blushed at the memory of how unlike herself she had behaved in the dreams. "I think we should wait and get to know each other a little better."

He didn't look disappointed. "Of course. I merely wanted to get your attention."

"You did that, though an owl would have worked just as well," she retorted.

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Would it really?"

After a moment she laughed. "Probably not. I would have thought it was a joke someone was playing on me." They both gazed at each for a few moments, neither of them knowing what to say. Finally, she said, "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked curiously.

"For making me see the truth, for being alive, for rescuing me from a life married to Ron."

"When I heard that was going to happen, I knew that I had to act before it was too late." Picking up her hand, he gently kissed the back of it.

"Well, thank you." She looked out the window and realized it was nearly dark. "Goodness! Where did the day go? I really should be returning to my cottage and get ready to return to London."

He looked as though he didn't want her to leave, but he didn't say anything to stop her. "I will await your return."

"I'll be back soon," she said and gave him a deep kiss that she reluctantly ended before departing.

There was a spring in her step as she entered her cottage and prepared for bed. She had come on this trip to find her mystery lover, to find herself, and she had done both. For the first time in her life, Hermione was at peace with herself.

Prompts:

8. Dream Lover

a. When the lights go down, the dream lover comes for a

visit. What the heck is really going on: Subconscious?

Magic? Nothing?

6. The Other Man

a. Hermione is engaged / married to Ron but is in love

with Severus Snape.