This perfectly captures the 'in-between' stage of emotions that happens when you know a relationship is dead, but you are not yet ready to move on.  It's a frozen stage - or perhaps a stagnant stage - contining pain and confusion.  You have portrayed that so well here, and with a minimum of words.  Excellent!

Full marks on an evocative piece.

It does not reflect what your introduction said prompted the poem, but this is not necessary.  Many good works are tangentai to what prompted them.

On the other hand, a work on your actual circumstanaces could be searing.