Chapter 15

Sirius was slow to wake up. Hermione had to nudge him quite a few times to get a reaction.

"Wha... what?" His voice was groggy, and he couldn't seem to open his eyes.

"Sirius, I know what's wrong. You might not like... okay, you'll definitely like it, who am I trying to kid," Hermione joked, making light of the situation in order to contain the fear that had threatened her when he didn't wake up right away.

"Well, I actually feel a little better... but if you think I'll like it, I'm not averse." He pulled her body against his and kissed her soundly, holding her in place with his strong arms, not letting her settle or catch her balance.

"Sirius! I just need a minute to talk to you," she blurted between kisses.

Sirius sighed and plopped her back on the bed bedside him. "Your minute is granted; go over and face dire consequences. Like not getting the snogging of your lifetime."

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Hermione decided not to pull punches. "I went to see Snape. He helped me again, and..."

"Gods damn, Hermione, you are bleeding everywhere! What the fuck did he do to you?"

Oh, yeah. Hermione's shirt and chest were covered in blood. The cut was concealed for the moment, but Sirius was looking for the source of the mostly-dried blood.

"Sirius, Snape didn't do anything. I did it."

"What? For fuck's sake, why?"

"I had to! To get the book to show itself! To read the chapter and get the answer! I would have done anything to help you!"

Sirius pulled her camisole down to expose the cut and a generous portion of her breast. The wound was angry-looking, that much was true. But it was a flesh wound, nothing to write home about.

"There are other scars beneath. You've done this before?" His voice was hard and brooked no denial.

"Yes. I had to bring you back, I had to do it! It's just a scar, Sirius, please."

He got up abruptly and left the room. Hermione lay against the coverlet, wondering if she could find him and have sex with him before he died. Hermione spasmed her legs and arms against the bed like a child having a tantrum. This is so not how I pictured the sweet seduction of my first time!

Sirius returned with a washcloth and small basin of soapy water. He sat on the bed beside her and wet the cloth. Without looking at her face, he gently washed the blood from her body. He spoke only to tell her to take off her shirt, and Hermione obeyed only because she'd never seen this side of him. He didn't even glance at her breasts in any non-clinical way; he merely washed the blood from her body and did his best to clean the wound itself.

"This looks infected. Not this new wound, but the older ones. I think we need to go to St. Mungo's." His voice had no inflection, and Hermione wondered what was happening in his brain, especially since he'd said 'we,' and he was thought to be dead.

"Actually, Snape gave me a salve that he said would help. Let's try that, and if it doesn't work in a couple days, we'll go to the hospital." Hermione had mastered the art of the placating compromise from years of doing it with Ron and Harry, and Sirius was not immune to her rationality.

"Two days, and then we go. Understand? Where's the damn salve?"

She wordlessly handed it to him. He took the lid off and dipped his fingers into it. He smelled it suspiciously and even brought it to his lips to taste. Apparently satisfied when he didn't immediately keel over and die, Sirius massaged the salve into her chest.

Try as she might, Hermione couldn't hold back a whimper when the cool salve and his gentle fingers caressed her heated skin, despite the sting of him touching the cut. Sirius' hand hesitated, and she was sure she could see his fingers tremble. But he continued to tend to her until he was satisfied.

"I need to tell you what Professor Snape said," Hermione told him, hoping that his position of power over her reclined form would be enough to make him feel he had the upper hand.

"I'm listening." He cleaned away the excess salve and covered her gently with the bed sheet.

"Sirius, the reason you got sick is because we didn't do what the bond wanted. It isn't satisfied with... what we've been doing." She watched emotions flicker across his face before he settled on chagrin.

"I know."

"What do you mean? How could you know?"

"It was more a feeling than anything. I just... I've wanted you so badly from the start, more than I should have, given the circumstances. And then, after last night... I mean, I can honestly say it was the best... um... I've ever had. And yet I didn't feel... satisfied."

Hermione nodded, trying her best not to take his words personally. Sirius gathered her in his arms. "Hermione... it was good. Please believe that. It's this bond! But as much as the bond wants us to have sex... I want it more. I'd love to have been able to seduce you properly, make you want it just as much, but I don't think there's time."

"There's not. It has to be today." Her words were flat, and as much as she felt excited, she was disappointed that fate had allotted her such a loveless life. But maybe she deserved it for all her meddling.

"Well. Do you want to... um. Have a shower? I know I do." Sirius bit his lip, and she had to smile at his awkwardness. She was a little glad to know this was hard for him, too.

"Yeah, actually, I feel pretty grimy. Let me go first, okay?" He looked like he wanted to propose going at the same time, but she hadn't taken that suggestion well the first time, and apparently he remembered. He nodded, and she left.

Hermione couldn't help but feel like a bride being prepared for her wedding night. She wasn't sure exactly what to do, so she just paid extra attention to the places he might give extra attention and made sure she was all smooth and soft. Even if it was not the ideal first time, she knew Sirius would make it pleasant for her. Merlin knew he knew exactly how to play her.

When she was finished and Sirius was in the shower, Hermione debated over getting dressed. Part of her wanted to maintain her modesty, as well as give Sirius something sexy to look at, but for expediency's sake, she decided to just perform a few drying spells and get under the covers nude.

When Sirius entered the room wearing only a towel, Hermione couldn't avert her eyes. It wasn't polite to watch him, but she did it anyway. He didn't seem to notice. He dropped the towel into the hamper and crawled into bed with her. He was wholly unashamed of his nudity, though he had no reason to be. He was a beautiful specimen of maleness, all sharp angles and hard muscles. Even his tattoos were sexy, though Hermione didn't usually go for the marked type.

Without wasting any time, Sirius pulled her on top of him. She struggled to straddle him, and he smiled at her discomfort. Glaring at him as she settled her legs on either side of his, she tried to avoid contact with his burgeoning hardness, but he rolled his hips into her and she couldn't escape it.

"Do you know how long I've wanted this?" he murmured against her ear. He licked and kissed a spot beneath her ear that made her feel faint.

"No... how long?" Hermione was half-teasing; she was treading dangerous ground here. She didn't want to hear: 'Since I got back from beyond the Veil, of course.' For some reason, she wanted to hear something like forever or always, even though she knew that wasn't so.

He smiled against her cheek, nuzzling her softly. "Too long, love. Much, much too long."

Hermione placed small kisses on the corners of his mouth, teasing him with flicking licks and soft touches of her lips. He growled at her and she raised her eyebrow in return. A challenge.

Sirius picked up the gauntlet as she knew he would. He reversed their positions in one smooth movement, tossing her onto her back and settling between her thighs. She raised her knees and held his hips with her thighs. She could feel his arousal against her mound, and he took her mouth violently at the same time as he thrust his cock against her lower belly. Both moaned at the contact, and Hermione's hips moved in an ancient dance.

"'Mione, gods, where did you learn that?" His voice was strained, and she was thrilled to have that effect on him.

"Just feels good... gods... doesn't it?" She, of course, hadn't learned anything, it was just coming to her. Her body knew what to do, even though her mind was a flurry of emotion and sensation and little practical knowledge.

"Everything you do feels good..." Sirius groaned, rocking his body against hers, sending sparks throughout her veins to settle back between her thighs. "But this feels fucking amazing, " he added, grinding against her and nipping her lips playfully.

His hands caressed her breasts, and he bent to lave and suck her nipples. She moaned at the delicious contact, and he bit gently on the flesh of her breasts, teasing her nipples with his fingertips. Hermione felt a fire build within her, and her body would not let her forget or ignore the impossible hardness against her belly. She reached down to touch him, running her fingers lightly over his silken shaft. He moved into her hand as she closed her fist around him.

"Careful, Hermione. If you want this to last, you'd better go easy," he warned her playfully, and Hermione responded with a tug before she brought her hand back to his side instead.

Sirius pulled his body from her slightly and stroked between her folds with his thick fingers. She was wet already, and he slicked her thoroughly, spreading the wetness. Hermione bit her lip as his fingers grazed her clit before slipping slightly into her body. But he drew them out immediately, and Hermione shut her eyes against the sight of him tasting his fingers. But she experienced the outcome anyway when he kissed her lips with her flavour on his tongue. She whimpered at the sheer wantonness of the act.

"Taste so good, baby. Wish you hadn't denied me so long," he whispered against her lips. She wanted to deny it, but she knew it was her fault he'd gotten so sick. She'd been so afraid, so stupidly cowardly, and for what? Being with him like this was the best thing she'd ever experienced.

"I want you, Hermione. Will you have me?" Hermione heard the vulnerability in his voice and tried not to think that he meant more than just this, just right now. Tried not to hope he meant more.

"Yes, Sirius. I want you, too. So much..." her words were cut off by his soft but demanding kiss, and her body soared.

Sirius lined his cock up to her entrance and seemed to breathe deeply. He looked to her, a heated gaze that seemed to glitter in the air between them. His eyes were nearly black and his face overtaken with passion. Hermione rolled her hips in acquiescence, and Sirius exhaled sharply. He thrust into her with one deep, slow movement, intending to fuck her good and hard when he felt her impossible tightness give slightly and heard a stifled gasp from the woman beneath him. He watched her wince in pain. What the...?

Her eyes were pleading with him, and he realized what he'd really known all along. She's a virgin. His mind raced with all the things he would have done differently. He even thought about stopping, but that notion was dismissed when her tightness clenched around him. The only thing to do now was make it as good for her as possible.

He moved slowly from her, pulling out only a few inches before returning to her heat. Her sublime tightness was wearing down his resolve, which wasn't exactly steel to begin with. He gritted his teeth against the sensation and made love to her as gently as he knew how. Hermione was responding, her hips rising to meet his, her breath coming in huffs against his neck.

"You," he breathed, "are amazing. So tight, so perfect." Hermione tried to focus on his words and let her body move as it seemed destined to do. Any nervousness abated when he'd entered her, and now only pleasure remained.

Instead of responding, she pulled his face to hers for a kiss, and he told her everything he felt about her in that transfer. How he adored her bravery, her sweetness, her innate goodness, her sacrifice. All for him. All of this was for him, and he was going to treasure it like the precious gift it was. Not just her virginity, but her trust.

He rocked into her body, falling into her dark chocolate eyes and feeling a delicious calm settle over his body. He felt both frenzied and completely at ease. She trusted him, she wanted him... he wanted to make her feel good. He kissed her hard, pouring his passion into the kiss rather than letting his hips showcase his need.

He felt the telltale signs of her orgasm and thrust a little deeper into her, trying not to hurt her but needing her to come soon before he did. His fingers manipulated her clit and got the reaction he wanted. She cried out against him, his name. Her body trembled with the sensation, and he continued to thrust shallowly until he plunged one last time, deeper than before and came with a short grunt. His vision went black, and he barely held himself from crushing her. Her body drew every ounce from him, and he couldn't help but feel that she was made for him. He pulled gingerly from her and they both winced at the feeling.

Hermione and Sirius were both lying on their backs, panting lightly. His hand searched hers out and held it tightly. Suddenly, both were accosted with a sudden ripping sensation deep within their bodies, deeper than the core; it came from their very souls. Hermione screamed and Sirius gasped. He tried to sit up to make sure Hermione was okay, but his body didn't seem to be under his control. The ripping continued until they were no longer able to maintain consciousness, and they simultaneously slipped under the spell of forced sleep.

She was floating. She couldn't see anything ahead or behind her, there was only a gentle wave of air upon which her body rested. She felt at peace. She thought she sensed someone there with her, but she was alone. When she looked at her body, since it was the only thing to look at, she was surprised. There were no scars, no imperfections. Her skin was glowing an unearthly white, and light emanated from her.

She spun aimlessly through space, the light from her body flickering but not fading. The presence of another person was always palpable, but not tangible. He seemed to be out of reach. Always beyond her grasp....

Sirius woke up first. He immediately checked Hermione beside him to make sure she was okay. She seemed to be sound asleep and was breathing steadily.

He took stock of his person, but everything seemed to be in order. The memory of that terribly tearing feeling was too fresh to ignore, yet there was no residual evidence that anything had happened. Sirius rubbed his eyes until he saw brilliant patterns in his eyelids. It had felt like he was being torn apart... but he was fine now. Better than fine. He felt more complete, more centred than he had since he had returned from beyond the Veil. He didn't feel any need or any illness. It was brilliant.

But unnerving at the same time. What did it mean?

And Hermione... her screams still resonated in his head. He checked her again, but she was perfectly alive and seemingly well.

He couldn't believe she hadn't told him she was a virgin. He regretted that. He would have done things differently, taken more time... but you couldn't have, his traitorous brain reminded him. There was no time.

But didn't she trust him with the knowledge? Maybe not, but she trusts you with her body and her heart.

He felt closer to Hermione than ever before, but something was haunting him. Being with her had been amazing, but he wished it had been on their own terms. He hated not being in control. After spending twelve years in Azkaban where his soul was not his own, and then five years beyond the Veil doing Merlin-knows-what, all he wanted was a little free will. It wasn't too much to ask.

But it wasn't Hermione's fault that his will was denied him. She only meant to bring him back, not to tie her to him. And yet... she must have known, even a little, what could happen. People don't go around sacrificing life blood like she had without having even an inkling of the consequences... and if Snape had been helping her all along, it was likely that he would have told her. Sirius imagined it was a big joke to Snape, tying an innocent young girl to a washed-up old reprobate like him; just the kind of thing Snape would get off on.

But what would Hermione gain from tying Sirius down? She didn't seem like the type to go after him for his money; they were usually easy to spot, though Sirius had been fooled a couple times in his youth. And now that his fortune was restored to him, he couldn't be too careful. But she hadn't made any demands on his Galleons at all.

Though Sirius knew he was a good catch as a date or a lay, he couldn't imagine a witch wanting to trick him into marriage. He was lazy, arrogant, irresponsible... at least, that's what people were always telling him. Maybe she'd had a crush on him in her youth and was trying to bring a fairytale to life. Or maybe she saw him differently than he saw himself; maybe, to her, he was a real prize.

Sirius shook his head to clear his thoughts. Hermione was a sweet girl, a good girl. She wouldn't trick him. She did the noble thing, just as he would have done in his Gryffindor days. Hermione stirred on the bed beside him, and Sirius left the room to have a shower.