Page Seven

This is such a cute chapter!  The Death Eater Birthday party was especially funny.  I really enjoyed this chapter, very original take on the prompts. 

Love the want ads!  So funny that the WWW ad and the ad for the Department of accidental magic and catastrophes are hiring at the same time.  Is the upturn in WWW business causing an increase in catastrophes?  I think so!

Ahhhh... The Letters to the Editor. I always read the letters to the editor; after all, one can pick up countless tidbits about members of the community at large. I find myself amazed at the things people will "admit to" when they are in a snit over some slight, real or imagined. OR... when they are head over heals about some one... And the good Editor, Mr Cuffe, does a marvelous job of hacking-off just enough Wizarding folk everyday to keep up with the needs of this section. He has also been adept at publishing sufficient "feel-good" stories to generate a number of thank you letters, as well.

Now, this first letter begs the question of just who is A Man With Nothing To Lose from Location Unknown? Which brings me to our hero-turned-hermit, Severus Snape. There are any number of witches who would give their wand arms to pass a few hours in his company. And Muggle women have drawn a bead on our good wizard, as well. Could A Man With Nothing To Lose be Master Snape? It sounds as though whomever he is, he is getting very put off about all the hints and winks and nods about himself that have appeared in the Daily Prophet here of late. I wonder if all this speculation has increased the number of female folk seeking him out? Ah well, we'll just have to wait and see what becomes of this threatened law suite to find out if it is, indeed, THE Potions Master.

Ms Manalo and Krill-the-Kneazle have been reunited thanks to the selfless efforts of "the truly wonderful Luna Lovegood." There are those who think the Lovegoods are a few pancakes short of a stack, but you know, she does have an uncanny ability to see things... well, not things, but connections that other folk miss completely. So if my Kneazle were up a tree, whether I believed in double-ended newts or not, I would be grateful for her help in getting him down.

Another way in which the Letters to the Editor are handy is that they are a good way to make sure that one's family and friends (who might have seen one being carted into the Ministry of Magic by Aurors) know for certain that one was not caught being derelict or whizzing on one's shoes in the park. Thus, Mr Chadwick Apollo has been able to assure one and all that he is not, nor has he ever been, a Death Eater. And in all liklihood he will not be a Death Eater at next year's surprise birthday party either, Mr Rookwood!Our dear Ms Conway falls into the group who are head over heels for someone.  Namely, Neville Longbottom, happily married and a family man  If our Neville is not careful, he will find himself in the same shoes as that actor, Alan Rickman.  The poor man has never given one indication that he is a round-about, but there are any number of women wanting a piece of him... sort of like our Severus...  Well... Severus is just so sexy, can you blame us... err... them? I'm still lovin' the Daily Prophet!Beth

I can relate to the birthday going horribly wrong... a house a few houses down from us had a 'tarts and vicars' party... three hours into the party, and the police came around to break up the brothel :DIt all ended well though, and although they never found out who had 'dobbed them in', they did find a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine on their doorstep the next morning.Nice collection of letters to the editor.Thanks for writing.

That was brilliant.  I liked how the Weasley's advertised for volunteers and The department for Magical accidents had that plea for more staff... lmso!  Do they suspect some added work in light of the Weasley's?The personals were sweet too, and funny :)Great Job :)

another fun installment to this clever piece. i especially like luna climbing the tree - seems just like something she'd do. :)

Lovely editor's letters! I just can imagine the Daily Prophet having this kind of readers...

Author's Response: This was the hardest chapter for me to write. I have never even heard of this. One of my betas told me a little about it, and here we are. I'm just glad it's over and posted. lol Your the best, thanks for reviewing.

The ads are just great! Another well-done chapter!

Author's Response: I thought every paper needed some ads. Glad you liked it. Thanks, dear.

Oh yea, a McDonald is what is really missing in the Wizarding World! *giggles* The shampoo ad is great, too.

Author's Response: The Wizarding world didn't know what they have been missing until they have had a double cheeseburger. LOL! I loved making that bottle of shampoo. This has been so much fun. Thanks again.

Another great chapter! I did guess all the protagonists, apart from the first one. Taking the magic away from Dudley is a good idea - but how awful a thing to do!

Author's Response: Maybe, but what if he had kept his magic? Don't you think it might have changed him, if he had to obey the rules like Harry. It would make for a whole other story. Thank you so much for reviewing.

Alcina vom Steinsberg's response: Sorry, this was probably confusing: I meant, what an awful thing to do by Dumbledore to take away the magic from Dudley. It's like a violation or worse... of course it would be truly interesting to see what would have happened had he kept it.

Author's Response: Ah, I get it now, and understand completely. Thanks for explaining.

Hey, Nevvy's got fangirls!

Cute answers to these prompts.

Really cute and nicely done. I loved that Luna climbed the tree rather than just summon the kneazle! But what was she fighting? Nargles? And especially liked the letter regarding the 'adventrous' birthday party! LOL What were they thinking? Too funny.

I think it's time for Hermione to get out the bug spray.

This is too fun.

Do I know this man who has nothing to loose... ;) Excellent use of the differents prompts as ever.

wonderful letters to the editor.  thanks so much

No phone number for the last ad...

I am still laughing at the last one!  Oh my.  That is good. 

No newspaper worth its salt would be caught with is presses down... that's business-speak for "not paying the bills."  Thus we have the Classifieds.The interesting thing about the classifieds in The Daily Profit... errr... ProPHet, is that, while they have the usual Help Wanted and For Sale sections, there are also an interesting variety of Announcements and Personals.  But first, the Help Wanteds.It is no surprise that Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is hiring.  Those clever boys were always about creating the most unique items for (1) getting out of things you don't want to get into, (2) for drawing attention away from something you don't want noticed, and (3) for finding out where the Professors were when they "solemnly swore that they were up to no good."  George should be given a lot of credit for growing the business after Fred was lost in the war.  I understand from Aunt Ranunculus that they are up to an even dozen stores now.  And why would my stern Auntie Ran know so much about Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?  Well, just between you and me, auntie is quite the party animal... behind closed doors of course.  It all began when she was three or four and discovered her prankster father's pooh-pooh cushion.  Family get togethers have never been the same since.  Though she admits to nothing, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find that she "has an addiction" to practical jokes.  (Being addicted is so fashionable today, don't yo think?  Any public official who gets caught with his "pants down" is suddenly addicted.  It gives alcoholics a bad reputation.)  But lets keep this between ourselves.  If this became public knowledge, it might severely diminish Auntie's standing in the Wizengamot.  And she would severely diminish my standing anywhere!Now the Ministry of Magic is an all together different animal.  I have it on good authority that tax collections have been up for the last several years, so the Dept. of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes is actually hiring for new positions.  You know how it is, spend while the spending is good.  Not that they don't need more people in the department.  Auntie tells me that the need for more personnel in Accidents and Catastrophes has kept pace with the the growth of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.  Who knew?In For Sales, I see that Harry Potter is selling his old Nimbus 2000 that Minerva gave him when he was a student at Hogwarts.  G50.00 sounds a little high, but in as much as it was flown by a bonafied hero, from a collector it might command an even higher price.I also see that old Messrs Slug and Jiggers are selling their apothecary.  I suspect they are completely ready to retire.  I do hope the odor that has lingered in the shop for, well, I cannot recall a time when it didn't smell like bad eggs with an overtone of rotten cabbage.  At any rate, I hope it won't make it difficult for the good suppliers of potions and potion ingredients to sell their store.  Probably not, they have quite a good reputation among Potions brewers.The Magical Menagerie is under new ownership.  That completely got by me on page seven.  The old witch who had owned it for years.. wore dark rimmed spectacles... I can't recall her name... it's on the tip of my tongue...  Well, no matter.  Ms Balustrode will be able to find homes for all those cute kitten/Kneazel mixes.  They are a very popular familiar.  They are a bit calmer than the pure breed Kneazels and preferred by many witches and wizards.I see that Susan Bones and Terry Boot are to be married.  Good for them!  Marriages between Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws are usually very successful — not so hot blooded as Slytherins and Gryffindors.

Loooook. Scorpius Malfoy is 11 years old! Such a nice looking boy, too! I remember when he was born. I was at St Mungo's to see a friend who'd had a nasty accident when she ended up hexing herself... seems she wasn't wearing her glasses and forgot that she had had the large mirror moved into the front hall. Well, when she walked by and saw herself, she thought it was a burglar and popped out her wand quick as you please, and cast a hex straight into the mirror. The bounce back knocked her flat. Anyway, when I went to see her I saw Draco in the waiting room walking through the bottom of his shoes. So I stayed with him for a while, and when little Scorpius was born, I got to see him. First one outside the family.

Ahhhh... the Personals... everyone's guilty reading pleasure.  Annnnnd, apparently this issue has a few really interesting and adventuresome "advertisers."#1  Molly Weasley is going to get into a position she doesn't' really want.  If Arthur or any of the children find out, they will be crushed.  I have to wonder just what bee has gotten under her bonnet.#2  I see the Minerva McGonagall is finally getting tired of waiting for Albus to make up his mind.#3  Is that Millicent Bulstrode?  I'll bet she's set her cap for that scoundrel Lucius Malfoy.  And there he is in #6!  Why Narcissa doesn't slap the crap out of him I'll never know!#4  What have we here?  Hagrid is looking for love, too!   Good for him.  Wait a minute... could be that Millicent is interested in Hagrid, after all, she says that make and model doesn't matter.  Hummmmmm.#5  Could this be Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore?  As I live and breathe!  Maybe Minerva gave him the old heave-ho, and he is trying to get her attention, or he's in the market for someone new.#6  This can only be Lucius!!!  Challenging, flexible position my arse!  He want a circus act!  Did I ever tell you the one about the husband who want to role play and got caught in the ceiling fan?  Nooooooo?  Have a seat, darling,...............This is an absolute hoot!Beth

wonderful!  "flown by hero" indeed!  great page 8.  thanks so much

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the ... thanking. I absolutely didn't expect it and I'm delighted. Now for the personnals I have some difficulties to guess who's who. I'd say

1 Hermione

2 Minerva

3 no idea maybe Trelawney

4 Hagrid

5 no idea at all.Am I close ?I almost forgot to tell you how brilliant this is (as ever I must say).

Another fascinating edition.  It was funny how most of the personals labeled themselves as lovable.

*mwahaha* Snape looking like THIS! *falling of my chair laughing* - that's so funny and cute, really. And being the american minister as well... brilliant! Your ideas for rehabilitating Death Eaters are brilliant, too *big fat grin*.
The dance contest is cool, too, and the picture going for Parvati and Neville's son, too. He is Neville's son, isn't he?
Your idea about Salazar's ideas and motives is quite interesting, too. It would be interesting to see how the Wizarding World would react if this was spread around...

Author's Response: I so enjoy reading your responses. I thought Trent would be a great look-a-like for Severus. If Severus was using a glamour charm, that is. My brain went into overdrive on this chapter, I'm afraid. When I saw saw all those prompts I was like, man this would work together great. And here we are. Yes, that is Neville's son. I wanted to use Albus Severus but my beta said he was to young to pay the part of the guy in the picture, so I had to make do.  As for the Wizarding worlds react; can you say Deny, Deny, Deny! LOL I hope I'm answering some of your thoughts, and questions. You are a great reviewer. Keep it up.

It's nice to see some of the minor characters being taken care of, too. The pictures are great, except of Mundungus's - is this Alec Guiness? However, I think the person looks much to gentlemanlike for being the like of Dung, to be honest ;o).

Author's Response: You are so right, but you would not believe how hard it was to get permission to use a good picture around these parts. I thought it is kinda funny to use Alec. I also thought of Mick Jagger, too. LOL That should get a tickle out of you. Thanks for keeping up with this.