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Deep in the dungeons, there lurked an evil so dark, so maleficent, that it had no name. It emanated a sinister magnetism which enticed its intended prey – slowly, inevitably, to the bottomless depths of the void. The preferred victims were small and defenceless. It gained enormous satisfaction from splitting a couple, causing misunderstanding and mayhem in the process.

After months of painstaking research of the problem, the bushy-haired young witch finally discovered the solution. With her cloak swirling behind her, she made her way to the dungeons, descended untold flights of stairs, and simply Evanescoed the Serial Quotation Mark Kidnapper!

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Once again thanks are due to my friend and beta, ladyinthecloak.