There's Something Fishy Going On

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Thanks also to ancientgirl and bekbek01 for all your help and encouragement!

Chapter 2 - There's something fishy going on

Dumbledore soon appeared on the lake's edge with Ron, who had summoned him, and beheld a strange sight. His Potions master was knee-deep in the water as he stood near his former pupil, Miss Granger. She was waist-deep and tightly clutching what appeared to be a merbaby.

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore, thank goodness you are here," said Hermione.

"Well, it would seem what young Mr. Weasley has told me is true. You have acquired a merbaby, Miss Granger?" inquired Dumbledore.

"Yes, a bird dropped it in the water. It was injured, but Professor Snape healed it," she said quickly.

"Well, it's very simple then," said Dumbledore. "You must take responsibility of it, Miss Granger."

"Are you mad?" shouted Ron. "How's she going to take care of a merbaby? There's no way she could keep it in her room at University... Just no way."

"No, I assure you I have not taken leave of my mental faculties, Mr. Weasley," said Dumbledore. "I am simply suggesting that Miss Granger be the responsible party for the offspring until its return to its rightful family."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" asked Snape darkly. He did not like the way Dumbledore's eyes were sparkling.

"By sending Miss Granger to the merpeople's village in the center of the lake," said Dumbledore.

"Headmaster," said Snape, leaning in closer to Dumbledore. "To do so would be to put Miss Granger in grave danger. You know as well as I do that the merpeople are not exactly friendly to outsiders."

"I am well aware of it, Severus," said Dumbledore. "And if I am not mistaken, so is Miss Granger?" he said, looking at her.

"I am," said Hermione. "But it is a risk I am willing to take," she said, snuggling the merbaby closer to her as it continued to suckle from the bottle she had conjured.

"Very well, then," said Dumbledore quickly. "You will need... these," he said as he murmured a quiet spell.

Hermione gave out a surprised gasp as she felt her body light on fire. Her legs seemed to meld together as a long green tail formed in their place. Her clothing seemed to evaporate and gills formed along her neck.

"Circe's arse, Hermione! Your bobbly bits are hanging out!" shouted Ron, pointing to her chest.

Hermione glanced down just long enough to notice that her transformation had indeed left her with bare bosoms. She then glanced up in time to notice that all the males in attendance, with the exception of Dumbledore, were staring at her chest. She quickly ducked lower into the water so she wasn't so embarrassingly exposed.

Severus did his best to look away from Miss Granger's exposed chest. He was finding it increasingly difficult. Just when had she grown those? He certainly didn't remember her like this when she was his student. His eyes slowly scanned up from her chest to meet her brown eyes. She was looking at him.

Severus felt his cheeks redden at being caught. He quickly turned his embarrassment to anger towards Dumbledore – anything to get his and everyone else's attention off of Miss Granger's chest.

"Albus, what have you done?" he demanded, turning on him.

"Simply made Miss Granger's job much easier," said Dumbledore.

"I could fetch her some gillyweed from my private stores, or she could cast the Bubble-Head Charm on herself," Severus argued. "Much simpler than this!"

"But this enables her to take as much time as necessary to complete her task. Also, her transformation includes the ability to speak Mermish, so that she may explain how the baby came unexpectedly into her possession."

"Why not send Potter? He's been there before – the merpeople know him."

"Harry," the Headmaster turned to him. "Do you have any experience with caring for babies?"

"No, sir!" Harry said emphatically.

No one suggested sending Hagrid. The half-giant was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. His appearance might frighten the merpeople before he could explain anything.

"This is ridiculous, Albus," Severus fumed. "It simply is not safe for Miss Granger to go unescorted into a hostile environment in that condition with a..." – he glanced at the merbaby in Hermione's arms – "with an infant in her care."

"Ah, Severus, I'm glad to hear you think so. I think it's a wonderful suggestion," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye.

"Why, thank you, Headmaster. I knew you would... Wait a minute... Suggest what?" said Severus nervously.

But before he could say anything more, Albus turned on him, brandishing his wand and whispering an incantation.

Severus felt a strange burning sensation shoot down his spine and into his legs. He watched as his favorite black robes seemed to melt away and a tail of sorts formed in the place where his legs should be. He instinctively flailed his body like a fish as he was tossed rather unceremoniously into the lake near Hermione and the merbaby. Gasping and sputtering, he quickly made his way to the surface. He opened his mouth to give Dumbledore a detailed diatribe, but was surprised when an ear-piecing shrieking sound came out instead.

`Dammit!' he thought. He was speaking Mermish.

"Now, now, Severus," said Dumbledore. "No need to thank me. I know you wouldn't want to hurt the ears of your former students and Hagrid right now with your tremendous thanks."

Severus glared at the old man on the shore. How he hated him right now. A happy little coo brought his attention back to Hermione and the merbaby in her arms.

Hermione had a shocked expression on her face that very well matched the ones of her friends on the shore. She was examining the Potion master's transformed body with great interest.

He took a moment himself to see just what Albus had done to him. He too was bare-chested, not that that mattered. But where Hermione had a green tail, he had a rather long and serpentine looking black one. This suited him well. Gills grew from his neck, but other than that Dumbledore had fortunately left him human looking. Hermione, he noted with a bit of appreciation, did as well. The two of them looked a bit more like the merpeople in the fanciful paintings, which graced Hogwarts' halls than the real ones which lived in the lake.

His eyes fell upon the little purple-haired babe in Hermione's arms. It seemed to have become quite contented there, he thought rather jealously. Of course, he wondered who wouldn't be snuggling so closely to her well-rounded bosoms.

"Your wand, Severus!" shouted Dumbledore, interrupting his thoughts before they could dwell more upon Hermione's bosom. "I think you'll find that it works just as well in the water as it does above," he said, tossing it to him from where it had fallen on the lake shore during his transformation.

Severus caught it and continued to glare at him. He realized the old man fully intended for him to carry on with this.

Dumbledore, however, ignored the glare and turned to address Hermione.

"And, Hermione, dear, you will need this," he said as he produced a bag full of baby bottles out of thin air. The bag floated gently through the air and settled quietly next to her and the babe. Hermione picked it up and slung the bag over her shoulder.

`He certainly wasn't so gentle with my wand,' Severus thought grumpily.

Hermione opened her mouth to thank the Headmaster but a screech came out instead.

"Bloody hell!" yelled Ron covering his ears. "Hermione, please!" It was the first thing he'd said since seeing Hermione topless.

Hermione closed her eyes in frustration.

"It's alright, my dear," Dumbledore said. "No need for thanks. Now, Severus, keep to the route we used in the past when I first took you there. I trust you remember the way?" asked Dumbledore.

Severus glared back at him and nodded curtly.

"Very well, then. Off with the two of you," he said. "We will be expecting you back in a day or two. If we do not see you, one of us will be along to help you find your way," said Dumbledore sagely.

"Be careful, Hermione!" yelled Harry. "Don't do anything to excite them, and you should be fine."

"And for goodness sakes, cover your bobbly bits!" yelled Ron. "Find some seashells or something!" he shouted.

"Ron," snorted Harry. "It's a lake, not the sea. And you really need to stop looking at Hermione's bobbly bits" he said, trying to suppress a laugh.

Severus, who was rather disgusted with the entire conversation, turned to dive under the water. If the redheaded idiot was going to continue in that fashion, he didn't want to be any part of the juvenile conversation.

"Take care now, you two," bellowed Hagrid as Severus began to dive with his wand in hand.

Fang's ringing bark seemed to echo his master's sentiments.

Hermione took a long look at all those she loved on the shore and then turned to follow Severus.

"Was there something you should have reminded her about?" Ron asked Harry, as Hermione vanished beneath the water. "You know, from when you were down there for the Triwizard Tournament."

"I don't think so," Harry mused. "Unless...Snape knows how to deal with grindylows and lobalugs, doesn't he?"

"He should," Ron muttered. "Hey, want to go see a Quidditch game?" They walked off together, Hermione and the merbaby temporarily forgotten.